Baseball Rose
copyright 2012 Faeriemage
By any other name…

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He’d briefly considered taking his time in the showers, making Melanie wait, hoping that she would get impatient and barge her way in.

The scenarios kept going through his mind. All the ways it could easily get really hot in a shower.

He had to keep the water ice cold because of it. After a while even that didn’t work, so he decided to just towel off and go to his locker to change. The other guys quieted down as he entered the room.

“Point that somewhere else.”

“What?”

“We know you’re different than…”

“Huh? Dude, I saw Melanie half naked before practice and she’s right outside the door.”

There were a couple of chuckles around the room and Jay went over to get his clothing. Someone had put a pink frilly braw in his locker.

“Really, guys?” Jay asked, while pulling on his underwear.

He picked the first person to chuckle as his target and threw the bra. “Thompson, keep your bras in your own locker please.”

“It’s not mine,” Michael Thompson said, going bright red.

“I think it’s mine,” said a voice from behind them, a feminine voice.

Jay tried to cover up, but Melanie just laughed, “Looking good, Jay.”

As soon as she was gone, the other guys started commenting on her butt and breasts.

“Guys, she’s a member of the team.”

“So’re you, Jay, but we never let that stop us before.” Davidson smirked at the other guys trying to get them to join in the joke. It had been so hard to play out there today with not one girl, but two, and if only Coach Peters hadn't been there he could have let both of them know how he really felt.

There was a forced chuckle or two as Jay turned to look at the person who’d made the comment.

“Davidson, I think you might want to reconsider that statement.” Coach Peters stood at the door to his office with his arms folded across his chest.

“But Coach…”

“No buts, Davidson. I’ll not permit this behavior if you wish to remain a member of this team. Melanie deserves your respect. She’s has just as much right as any of the rest of you to be here.”

Eric Davidson grumbled at this, but let it go. He wasn’t going to get any traction on this argument, especially not against the Coach. It would obviously take a different approach. Maybe if he could get the other members of the team…

Most of the rest of the players let the cut go, and they joked with Jay as they continued to get dressed and then leave to go to their homes.

Eric simply couldn’t believe what was going on. They were treating the thing as if it were normal. How could they do this? It wasn’t male or female after all. He’d just have to have a talk with his parents about this.

A smile spread across Eric’s face. That was the answer. The other players were just children after all. He’d get his parents to support this, and there would be such an outcry from the other parents.

Maybe they could even get Coach Peters fired over this.

Like a single drop of dye into clean water, the ideas spread from that single point until Eric’s entire mind was consumed by the darkness of the concepts that had spawned.

***
The quiet susurration that told Melanie she was home greeted her as she entered the door. She smiled the sad smile that she had for her mother alone and walked over to the seat that almost seemed bolted in place on the floor.

It wasn’t, but neither her father nor she moved it. It was their chair, and they took turns at vigil in it.

“Hey, Mom,” she said as soon as she sat down in the chair. “I made it on the team. We had our first practice today, and it was really cool. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but that’s not a bad thing.

“You know how I liked the challenge in the past. Well, I’m up to the challenge now. Jay makes it a lot more challenging though.

“I told you about Jay yesterday.” Melanie sat there in silence for a while just listening to the machines that were keeping her mother alive. Her thoughts were in turmoil. She felt elation over being allowed on the team. She felt the pressure to perform well. In general she felt the need to be herself. And under it all, she realized that eventually none of it would matter. From what she’d already experienced with Jay, she knew that if the right guy came along, she’d likely make the same decision that her mother had.

“I wish you could talk back, mom, I could really use some advice. It’s so hard to know what I should really do. He’s a boy though. I can’t throw away my dream for a boy, can I? I know that you gave up tennis for dad, but…”

“You think she’d tell you she regretted her life?” Her father had walked in quietly and stood behind her as she spoke. He didn’t like to interrupt her, usually, but sometimes it was important, like now.

“But she had to give up her dream. She’d been invited to the US Open.”

“Melanie, don’t think like that. Her dream was to be a mother. She loved you as a kid, you know that.”

“But if only…”

“Don’t think that, sweetie,” her father said soothingly. “She made a decision to live her life, and not watch it pass by from on the court. There is a point where everyone has to decide what is important in life. For you, for right now, it’s baseball. Maybe next year it will be fashion.” He laughed at the face she made when he mentioned it.

“You never know, Sweetie. It could happen.”

“I think I’d start dating Jay first.”

Her father got a knowing smile on his face, “Why don’t you tell me about him. I know, it’s easier to talk to your mom, but I might actually give you some advice, and it sounds like you could use some.

Slowly, as if looking for the right words, Melanie began to talk to her father and tell him all about life at her high school.

***
Jay sat in his car. He’d never been more afraid than he was at this moment. It wasn’t a physical fear, either. It was a fear of disappointing someone whom he’d always looked up to.

Taking a deep breath, Jay got out of the car and locked it. He was stalling and he knew it. It was something he could laugh at, this stalling,

He ran out of things that he could effectively do to stall, and walked across the street and into the dojo.

The students were all young. All of the students were young. The Sensei only felt comfortable when teaching children. It was them who he loved to mold and helped to grow. The precepts that he taught were supposed to serve these children for a lifetime, and he had broken one of the cardinal rules.

Jay took off his shoes and kneeled at the edge of the mat.

“Jason?”

“Permission to enter, Sensei?”

The man nodded, and Jay stood and entered.

“I have failed, Sensei. I beat up a defenseless opponent.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it, Jason?”

Standing there Jay felt like he had the last time he’d been to the Dojo. He was ten years old again, looking up into the eyes of one of the men he truly respected. There had been coaches who had taken this man’s place in his life, but they always had to measure up to the example se forth by his first coach. His Sensei.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he continued talking about his fears for the future.

“Jason, everyone makes a mistake now and then. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You accepted you made a mistake, and sought forgiveness.”

“But, I could have killed him, Sensei.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“But Sensei…”

“If it will make you feel better, I’ll accept you as a teacher here. You can help train my young ones to be as considerate as you.”

“Sensei…”

“I know you have baseball practice, so for this to be truly the punishment you deserve, I’ll expect you here for the evening classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and three classes on Saturday.”

Jay smiled at that. He wasn’t sure that his Sensei was doing anyone any favors, but he felt better about the direction that his life was now heading.

“Thank you, Sensei.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you have a class to teach. They’re waiting for you already.”

***
“Goodbye. Senpai.” Jay smiled at the honorific. It named him almost a peer in the girl’s eyes, something like upperclassman in English. It still had a student-teacher connotation to it, which was why Sensei suggested it as his title to the younger kids.

“See you next week, Lisa,” Jay responded to the nine year-old.

The evening classes only lasted an hour, but it had felt longer to Jay. Not because of anything specifically onerous about the task, just that there was so much that happened. Usually, when he was happy, it seemed that time simply sped by and there was no really connection to what he normally associated with a single hour.

This time he was so focused on every minute detail that each moment lasted an eternity.

He went out to his car and let himself in so that he could drive home. He smiled at how his Sensei was going against his normal teaching rule. In teaching the younger kids, Jay learned something that the five years he’d spent as a student had never taught him, and that was restraint.

Not in a way that he needed to hold his emotions in check, but in a way that he needed to moderate his force. If he’d been using restraint earlier today, he might still have attacked Palmer, as he’d completely lost control of his emotions, but he wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as badly.

The time in the class reminded him that there were many ways to take someone down, and you didn’t need to destroy someone to protect yourself. Something else he realized was that he was so far out of practice. If he’d followed the last words that Sensei told him, he wouldn’t have overreacted like he did, and it was an overreaction.

Palmer had just been making a comment, nothing big. It was even mildly amusing. If it had been someone else, Jay might even have laughed at it. There was the real problem. You never really considered how all the little slights that you use in day to day life might affect someone else.

Insults hurt, no matter what all mothers tell their children about sticks and stones. Words may not cause physical pain, but they still hurt. Each one causes another cut in someone’s heart. With each new slight the person dies a little inside.

Jay was as bad as anyone else and he knew it. You joked that way with your friends, but when they took it personally, when you’d gone too far, it was too late to truly make it better. Sure, you usually just laughed it off so that the other person wouldn’t see that they hurt you, but they did hurt you.

And the more that it happened, the more that you lost trust in that person.

That was the reason that friendships died, not because people grew apart, but because they grew tired of being hurt by you, or you by them.

It was all so stupid, really. Sure, there was a moment of glee when you came up with a really creative insult, but happiness was not formed out of moments of wicked glee. Happiness was helping a student like Lisa realize that she could actually throw someone as big as Jay.

It had so surprised them both, that Jay had landed hard, and had the air knocked out of him for a moment. She’d almost been in tears before he explained that he was alright, and that it was his own mistake that had hurt him, and nothing she had done.

After the initial shock of the moment, she had been all smiles, and the rest of her class had looked at her in awe. It was the last time he fell unexpectedly, but that moment had raised her in the esteem of her peers, and given her much needed self-esteem.

Jay pulled into the driveway and shut off his car, still smiling at the lessons that he’d learned tonight.

Something charged into him from the side and he flew a few feet to land in the grass. He was up almost as soon as he came to a stop, looking back the way that he’d come.

“So, you looking for more, then, Champ? How does the bully feel now? I’m here to show you.”

“Show me what?” Jay shook his head to clear it. Nothing felt out of place, but that had been a really hard shove, almost a tackle. The other guy was wearing a mask of some sort, knitted. Probably a ski mask, even with how cliché something like that was.

The other boy didn’t say a word, just came at him. Jay sidestepped and kicked him in the stomach, hoping to knock the air out of him. The boy grunted and grabbed for Jay’s leg. He was a moment too slow, but Jay couldn’t take the risk that he’d get him next time.

The guy was big, and there were a lot of things a big guy could do to you, even if they have no formal training. Keeping out of his grasp became Jay’s number one priority.

The other guy had no training as far as Jay could tell. He was slow, and wasted a lot of his strength moving his body in a parody of a traditional boxer’s cross. It was as if all the guys knowledge of fighting came from watching other people fight.

Jay slid out of the way of each of the attempts at connecting a blow that the other boy made.

“Jay, what’s going on?”

Jay was too engrossed in avoiding getting hit. His dad distracted him just enough, though, that the boy clipped his shoulder. It hurt. For the first time since this fight began, Jay realized he might be in trouble. Sure, he had the better training, even if he was still a little rusty, but even without proper form this guy had a lot of strength to throw around, and it would only take one good hit to end the fight permanently.

The next time the guy lunged forward, Jay slipped to the side and tripped him, again jumping out of the way. The other boy was quick to get up, and he was after Jay without a word.

“Stop this, there’s no reason for us to fight.”

“I have to do this.” The other boy grunted out.

His breathing was a little labored. For a moment, Jay wondered if he’d cracked one of the other boy’s ribs. It shouldn’t have been high enough for that to happen, but stranger things had occurred recently.

It seemed like another eternity, his second for the night, before the sound of sirens approached. Lights flashed and voices called for him to lie on the ground. The other guy slammed into him with his full body weight.

The light went dim, and he could hear shouting from a long way off before everything went black.

Jay was staring up at the night sky when he realized that he was aware of his surroundings again.

“Are you okay, son?”

Jay looked numbly around him and slowly sat up.

“Do you know where you are?”

There was someone speaking, and Jay smiled. The words didn’t register though.

“Jay?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so.”

“We need to question you some more, Jay, if that’s alright?”

“What about?”

“About what happened here tonight.”

“I was getting out of my car, and someone hit me from behind. I don’t really remember anything after that.”

“You can’t remember anything else?”

“He said so, officer. You saw what that other boy did. Jay immediately surrendered. The other boy…”

“We saw, Sir, but we’re still going to have to question your son.”

“What exactly are you questioning our son about, officer,” Fae said as she exited the house. “Does he need to have a lawyer present?”

“At this time of night? I don’t think we need to bother with a lawyer.”

“Officer, you’re being a bit evasive don’t you think?”

“It’s okay, mom, it’s just Officer Laramie. He tried to arrest me earlier today.”

“What?” Jay’s mother exclaimed.

“Julia Fore said that the principal told her something was up, and she stopped it.”

“Of course she did,” Fae said with a little smile. “Let me introduce myself. I’m Fae Sims of Sims, Anderson and Fore. I’m going to have a talk to my partner tomorrow about secrets. Apparently, however, my office has already been retained to represent this boy, which you already knew. I suggest you take the assailant and contact Ms. Fore at my office tomorrow if you wish to speak further with Mr. Sims.”

A couple of EMTs had driven up while Fae was speaking to the officer, and they began to examine Jay. It only took a moment before they were loading him into the back of the ambulance.

“What’s going on,” Henry asked.

“He has a slight concussion, and we want to take him to the hospital for a couple of tests.”

“Henry, go with our son, and I’ll finish up with the officers.”

“Yes, dear,” Henry said with a little smile.

They drove off from his home, and Jay was still a little out of it. It wasn’t that he was loopy or anything, but his thoughts just wouldn’t keep…

There were so many things in the back of the ambulance to look at. Surfaces…

His dad was looking concerned so Jay just smiled for him. It’s not like he was in a fight or anything.

For a moment Jay wondered why they had the ambulance siren on. The EMT asked him to lie back and…

“Jay? Wake up. We’d like to keep you conscious until we get you to the hospital.”

“Why are we going to the hospital?”

“Jay, do you remember what happened?”

“I was knocked across the lawn by someone?”

The EMT looked in his eyes, “Is that a question?”

“No, I was pushed. I know that.”

Jay’s attention wandered as the EMT went back to talking to his dad in a worried voice. The EMT shouldn’t have worried. He just was surprised is all. He’d taken harder hits this evening in the Dojo.

Especially from little Lisa.

He’d never noticed it before, but Lisa looked a little like Melanie. That’s a strange thing to think, he thought a second or two later.

They got to the Hospital and wheeled him into the ER. He only waited there a few minutes before they took him for an MRI. After that he was taken back to a room to wait while the doctors spoke to Henry.

“It just looks like a minor concussion.”

“But it was just a concussion?”

“There doesn’t seem, to be anything else wrong with him. It’s likely just caused a by his head coming into contact with the ground. There don’t seem to be any other injuries, but as a precaution we’d like to keep him over-night.”

“You’re sure that there’s nothing wrong?”

“I can’t be a hundred percent sure, which is why we’d like to keep him here.”

“Ok, I’ll be by to pick him up for school tomorrow then.”

***
As they were leaving the hospital the next morning by the regular entrance, which was on the opposite side from the ER, Jay noticed a small figure entering the building.

“Lisa?”

“Senpai, what are you doing here?”

“Apparently I got ambushed by a brick wall on the way home.”

“Oh,” she said, her smile fading a little.

“Hey, the lessons we learn are important, Lisa.”

“Not that. I hoped that you might be here to see me.”

“Well, I see you. Why are you here, Lisa?”

“I have to give blood a couple of times a month. We moved here because they have a great research clinic here, and they hope to suppress my illness as much as possible.”

“What illness?”

“HIV.” She said with a sad little smile.

For a moment, the world stopped. She was nine years old, and had to be perfectly aware that she had a death sentence.

“That’s…”

“Horrible? Yeah, I know. I can’t let it affect me, Senpai. I’ve got to live my life.”

“How bout I go up with you?”

“You’d do that for me, Senpai?”

“Of course I will.”

“You can keep my sister company then.”

“You’re sister?”

“She’s parking the car. She sent me in to get signed in. She doesn’t want to be late to school again.”

“Well, if I need to I’ll just let her go and I can drive you to your school.”

“Really? You want to stay here with me?” Lisa said with a little blush.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, Lisa. I’m your Senpai. I feel responsible for you.”

“I know, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”

Jason chuckled a little and then looked at his parents. He’d been driven here in an ambulance so his car was at home.

Seeing his look, Fae responded. “Here, you can drive the Porche, Jay,” she said, tossing him the keys.

“How are you…” Henry started.

“I thought I’d get a ride with my husband.”

“Oh really?” Henry said with a smile.

“Don’t get any ideas. I’m still a little upset with you for lying to me.”

“Well, what can I do to make it up to you,” Henry said as they moved out the door.

“You’re so lucky,” Lisa said watching Jay’s parents banter back and forth as they left.

“How so?”

“That your Mom is still there for you.” Lisa lost all pretense at a smile when she talked about her mom.

“Did you lose your mom?”

“Kinda. The man who…took me attacked my mom.”

“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want,” Jay said as he pushed the button on the elevator.

“Lisa, you were supposed to wait for me in here.” Instantly, Jay knew who it was. He hadn’t connected it all together, likely because he’d only gotten first names the night before.

“I’m nine, Melanie, not three. I can go up and sign in on my own. Besides, my Senpai is here and he was going up with me.”

“Oh, it’s your Senpai is it. I’ve wanted to see this older man you have a crush on.”

Jay turned slowly to look at Melanie.

“Hello.” Jay said with a smirk.

Melanie was speechless.

“Wow, I thought only Jay got to my sister like this. She couldn’t stop talking about him last night. Looks like Jay has some competition.”

“All night, huh?” Jay said with a genuine smile this time.

“Shut up.” Melanie said while she smiled and blushed at the same time. She tried to hide her face in her hair, and when that failed, she put her face in her hands.

“Wait…” Lisa said, a smile slowly coming to her face.

“Please to meet you, Lisa. I’m Jay Sims.”

“My sister has good taste for once.” Lisa said with a little giggle. The elevator arrived and the three of them entered it. Melanie hit the button for the third floor.

“I certainly hope so,” Melanie said, “Since it would be really bad to insult him now that you spent almost as long talking about him yourself.”

It was Lisa’s turn to blush. “He is cute, though, you do have to agree,” Lisa said.

“Oh, yes, I agree he’s cute, but you know I can’t.”

“Then can I have a shot at him?”

“Ladies, look, I like you, Melanie, and think of you, Lisa, like a little sister. If I can’t have Melanie, then I don’t want anyone.” Jay realized how what he’d just said could be interpreted, but just shrugged his shoulders. After a moment he continued, “You know, it might not end up going anywhere, but I’d at least like to give it a chance, Melanie.”

“Are you asking me out? Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Of course you do, you can say no.”

“Then no, Jay,” Melanie replied. It obviously gave her no happiness to do so.

“Why not?”

The doors opened, letting them out into a waiting room. They signed Lisa in and then went to have a seat in the mostly empty room.

“Look, Jay, just no, ok?”

“It’s not okay. I think you’re beautiful, and would love to get to know you better.”

“I’m not just going to be the girlfriend.”

“What?” Suddenly Jay was confused. All he’d wanted was a date or two. Now she was talking some sort of permanent commitment.

“I’m trying to be an asset to the team. I don’t want the guys to just think of me as your girlfriend.”

“Ok, that’s not how guys think about it,” Jay said with a smirk.

“What are you talking about?” Melanie asked.

“Well, you see, until you’ve got a boyfriend, then all of the guys on the team are going to think they still have a shot. That means that they’ll continue to ask you out, and generally harass you.

“Now, I understand if you don’t want to date someone on the team, but…” Jay just trailed off, waiting for her to get it.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Melanie said with the shock evident on her face.

“These are teenage boys we’re talking about. When it comes to a pretty girl, they stop thinking, and listening is optional.”

“You don’t act that way…” Melanie said with a little smile.

“Lisa Deverau?” a nurse announced at the other side of the room.

Lisa got up and walked over to the nurse and then followed her back.

Jay turned back to Melanie after Lisa left. “I don’t act that way because Sensei would kill me. And possibly my Mom. Coach Peters…”

“If Coach Peters…”

“He expects me to adhere to a higher standard,” Jay said with a smile. “So, like I said, they stop thinking when it comes to a pretty girl. Most of them will only stop if you get a boyfriend.”

“You really think I’m pretty?”

“Of course I do.”

“And you wouldn’t feel weird about dating a baseball player?”

“Not unless you did. So, will you…”

Melanie shut him up by kissing him.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” she said with a satisfied little smile.

“I generally like to get a date first,” Jay said with a little chuckle.

They didn’t kiss again, but they did lean against each other and talk quietly while waiting for Lisa to come out.

“So, I missed out on my chance with my Senpai, huh?”

Jay and Melanie just laughed with her.