Baseball Rose
copyright 2012 Faeriemage
By any other name…

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

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Jay rushed into Coach Peters’ office followed closely by Doogie.

“Coach, we have a problem.”

“It’s not because of Melanie is it. I told you…”

“No, it’s a bigger problem than that, but related.”

Doogie laughed darkly. He didn’t know what was going on with Melanie, but he got the reference when Jay put it that way.

“Maybe you’d better start at the beginning, then.”

“Ok, well, you knew I was in AP Bio, right? Well recently we submitted DNA samples to get a DNA profile…”

***
The secret to a good rumor is not how much truth is in it, but how much the person you are telling it to wants to believe it. You tell the target of a rumor something, and they confirm it, deny it, or change the subject which is better than a confirmation. Problem is that it never really gets much further than that.

You have much the same problem if you tell the people who are friends with your target. They know the person well enough that they can confirm or deny or evade.

No, you want to either tell someone antagonistic to the subject, or indifferent to the subject.

The problem with telling someone who is antagonistic is that they are considered a questionable source of gossip when the information is passed on to the next person.

The bigger problem is with telling someone who is indifferent. They need proof before they begin spreading rumors. And something this big would usually require absolute proof. Normally. Right now, however, with everyone aware that the DNA profiles were just passed out, that proof could be less than concrete. People just had to believe it existed. And the glorious thing was that the proof actually existed.

There were a number of girls who owed him favors for one thing or another, and so he let them be the ones to begin telling people the ugly truth.

It was a simple matter of ending a single text out to them: Jay Sims is really a girl. Her DNA profile proves it. Be creative.

After that he just needed to wander around and examine his handiwork.

“You know Jay Sims? Well apparently we should start calling her Jamie.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I hear that she got her profile back today and it says what we’ve always suspected. She’s a girl.”

“But he’s the captain of the baseball team.”

“Not for much longer, from what I hear. The coach is furious.”

The boy smiled in ill-concealed glee as he heard the first of his planted rumor starters. He walked from one point to the other, listening to what people were saying. On his way to the 4th location, he heard someone he didn’t know was talking about it. After that it was across the school like wild fire.

He hadn’t been watching where he was going and ran into one of his tormentors.

“Look, it’s Pasty. Hey Pasty.”

“Come on, Brad, we have bigger fish to fry today. We’re hunting Faggots.”

It took his heart a long time to return to normal, and longer for him to realize what was going on. When it did he began to laugh. They were not going to be tormenting him because they were going after that little whore Jamie. Everything was working out better than he could have ever hoped.

His laugh cut off short when one of his rumor starters came up to him, “So, are we square now?”

“Not by a long shot, Amy, we’re only just beginning.”

***
Jay finished explaining everything to Coach Peters, hoping that they’d be able to do something about this before the district found out about it. Their policy seemed to be clear, and they’d likely take a no-exceptions stand point.

“For right now, don’t say anything about it, okay?” Coach Peters said.

“But…”

“We’re not really lying to anyone, Jay. You are male as far as anyone, before today, has known.”

Jay didn’t seem convinced, but he let it drop.

“This might actually be good for the team,” the coach said, “Melanie is a great player, and would be a great addition. If we can convince the school board that we’ve had a girl playing varsity for two years, and there haven’t been any ill effects, then we might be able to slip Melanie in without a fuss.”

“It’s not the same thing, Coach,” Doogie replied. “Jay isn’t a girl…I mean physically. Who cares what his DNA says.”

“For a lot of people, DNA is all that they care about. Of course…”

The look in the coach’s eyes scared Jay a bit. “What are you thinking, Coach?”

“There’s a possibility that this could be more than just DNA.”

“What are you talking about?”

“There are a number of reasons, medically speaking, why you’d look male, but be genetically female.”

In any given school there are a limited number of Gym teachers required, and an almost unlimited number of coaching positions. Coach Peters taught Biology in addition to being the baseball coach. It was only his personal policy that he not teach any of his players that kept Jay and Doogie in the class they were currently in.

Most people, however, felt a little weird calling a coach Doctor Peters, so a lot of people simply forgot that he had been an MD and a surgeon before deciding that he preferred to teach.

“Doogie, go to class. I don’t want you talking about this to anyone else.”

“Okay, coach.”

“Jay, I’d like to send you out to get some tests. I still have a couple of contacts in the medical community and I think that they’d be willing to help me out with this.”

Jay looked a little worried at the idea of becoming some sort of a human guinea pig, but nodded and said “Okay” as well.

Jay called his mom, knowing that his dad never answered the phone during the day.

“Jay, what’s wrong?”

“Something weird showed up on my DNA profile.”

“You’re not sick, are you honey?”

“No, Mom. I’m not sick. I don’t think so, anyway. Coach Peters thinks that they should run a couple of tests to make sure.”

“Do I need to say anything to him? Give any authorization for the tests?”

“Coach, my mom is asking if she needs to give any authorization for the tests.”

“Yes…probably. If she could meet us at King Memorial Hospital that would be great.”

“You hear that, Mom?”

“Yes, Jay, I did.”

“See you soon.”

“I love you, Jay. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

Jay signed off the phone after mumbling something to his Mom that she could take however she liked. It was embarrassing having your mom gush all over you like that.

“You still have the DNA profile?”

“Yes, I do. It’s in my bag.”

Doogie rushed back into the room just after the tardy bell rang.

“Is there a back way out of here?”

“What’s up?”

“I have no idea how it happened, but the whole school seems to know about the test.”

“What?” Jay exclaimed, hyperventilating a little.

“It’s worse than that. Some of the football players are looking for you. They want to show you ‘what happens to faggots at our school.’”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Jay said. “How would being a girl in disguise as a guy make me a faggot?”

“Doogie, Jay, I’d appreciate you not using that word in my presence.”

Coach Peters had a strict policy on name calling and swearing. It was not allowed.

“This is my prep period, so I can be away from the school for the next hour. I’ll let the school know I am taking you to meet your mother. Doogie, get to class.”

Doogie snickered and headed off to his next period of the day while the coach called the office to get Jay excused.

“No, sir, it’s actually true. That’s part of the reason I’m taking him out of class today.” There was a pause as he listened to someone on the other end of the phone. “No sir, I can’t do that. I can’t afford…of, when you put it that way…yes, I understand…right away.”

The coach hung up the phone and looked thoughtful for a moment before talking to Jay, “well, it looks like we both have the rest of the day off, Jay. The principal would like me to stick with you to make sure that no one tries anything. He’s heard about the DNA test, so it’s definitely all over the school at this point.”

“What does this mean?”

“It means that I’m supposed to act as your bodyguard, at least for today.”

“What? But I’ve always been able to take care of myself.”

“That may be true, but the principal doesn’t want to take any chances.”

“Fine,” Jay said. He wasn’t happy about being treated like, well, a girl, but it was something he’d put up with at least for the time being.

They left by the outer door to the coach’s classroom and quickly climbed into his car.

As they drove, Jay stewed for a bit thinking about what all of this would mean. It had all happened so quickly that even now he was unsure how this would affect the rest of his life. This morning he was helping to give a private tryout to a girl he found very attractive.

This evening, would he be the girl everyone thought was attractive?

He pushed that thought away. It’s not that he had anything but respect for girls…other girls? He just didn’t want to be a girl.

He aspired to be in the Major leagues. It is all he wanted to do. He wanted to play the sport that he devoted his entire waking life to. Most people just weren’t good enough to get there. Being some sort of freak could ruin that whole plane before it ever happened.

It could ruin his entire life.

His phone rang as they continued to drive. It was Katie.

“Hello, Katie.”

“Thank goodness you’re okay. I’ve been hearing some nasty rumors about you today. I wanted to make sure that they weren’t true. They’re not true, are they?”

“What rumors have you heard?”

“The craziest is that you’re a girl dressing up like a boy.”

“I’m not dressing up as anything.”

“That doesn’t put me at ease. You’re saying you really are a girl then?”

“I don’t know, Katie. Can we talk about this later?”

“You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know. You either are, or you aren’t. It’s that simple.”

“My birth certificate says I’m male, Katie.”

“Wait…why would you…no. This can’t be happening to me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Is that why you won’t have sex with me? Because you can’t?”

“You’ve completely lost me,” Jay said as he was thinking something else entirely. He hadn’t ever had sex with her because he thought she was a little too aggressive for him. He wanted to let things happen naturally, and above all he wanted to be in control of what happened when. Whenever he was with Katie, and alone, she just sort of forced herself on him, which really turned him off.

“You don’t have a d…I mean the equipment to play ball.”

“I have the equipment, Katie. Look I’m not having this conversation with you right now.”

“All you have to do is prove it to me. Meet me somewhere and prove you are a guy and we’ll figure out some way to get through this.”

My phone beeped telling me that I had a call on the other line. It was from a number I’d never seen before.

“Katie, I have another call coming through. It could be important.”

“Don’t you hang up on me. If you can’t do this one thing for me, we’re through. I can’t have people thinking I’m some sort of lesbian.”

Jay did the only thing he could at that moment, he laughed at her.

“Fine, Katie. Look I’m on the way to the hospital. Maybe we can resolve this later.”

The call beeped in again. The same number was calling him back after going to voicemail.

“Come back here and we can resolve it now. You can go to the hospital afterwards.”

“Look, Katie. This makes it simple. Not everything is about you. If you want it to be, let me oblige you. Assume this was an elaborate way for me to break up with you.”

“You can’t do that!”

I hung up on her and went to the other line.

“You total bitch!”

“Excuse me?”

“That line you fed me about not allowing girls on the team, and here you are a girl yourself.”

“Melanie?”

“Of course it’s Melanie. How could you do this to me? Were you afraid that I would have told someone your secret? Well, it’s all over the school now. Nothing to hide anymore, huh?”

“This has nothing to do…I didn’t mean…I never knew…Melanie, look. I’m on my way to the hospital right now. Can we talk about this later?”

He got no response, and when he checked the face of his phone, all it said was call ended. Coach Peters was laughing quietly at him.

“It’s not funny, Coach.”

“Actually, it kind of is. Look at it from my point of view. You are a guy, I meant you are really a guy.. There isn’t anything about you that suggests feminine to me. And here we all come to find out that you’ve always been a girl inside.”

“We’ll maybe someday I’ll think it’s funny, but right now I face getting kicked off the team, my girlfriend just forced me to dump her, and the hottest, coolest, most perfect girl I’ve ever met doesn’t ever want to speak to me again.”

“Oh to be young and sure of life. Jay, nothing is ever what you expect it to be.”

“You can say that again. I mean look at me. Apparently girls can look like this now.”

“We’re going to figure this out.”

“I hope so.”

Jay spent the rest of the trip staring out the window, glaring at everyone who made eye contact. It’s not that they were to blame, but at least then he didn’t have to blame his parents, or god, or whatever else came to mind at the moment.

He was happy that Coach Peters just let him have some time to himself.

They pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and got out. The building had been a hospital longer than it had the name it currently did, but it had worn time lightly. Or it had been renovated in the past. Neither of those Jay knew for sure, but there was definitely a presence about the building that said ‘the sick come here.’

The problem was that it also seemed to have a patina of death about it.

Jay hated hospitals. From years of broken bones, stiches, shots, and all the myriad of other reasons that an active young boy gets himself into one, Jay hated then, and distrusted doctors.

“Come on, Jay. They’re expecting us.”

Jay shook his head and smiled ruefully at himself. Coach was a doctor. If anything it wasn’t doctors he hated. It was being sick. Like him blaming the random strangers on the street, blaming doctors for the consequences of his own actions seemed silly to him in that moment. Even this, today, was a consequence of one of his actions. He was the one who decided to take AP Bio.

He preceded Coach Peters into the open lobby and looked around. The entryway could have been located in any upscale corporate building, and that made sense in a way. A hospital was a business of a sort.

They went to the bank of elevators and rode one up to the third floor. Jay was amazed at the décor. He’d never thought of the inside of a hospital being so calming. The lighting and paint scheme was…nice. He’d gone from business upscale to high-end hotel. It was as if the interior of the hospital was doing it’s best to not be a hospital. It was masquerading as other things to put people at their ease.

The time that Jay spent wondering about the interior of the building did the same. He was almost confident when he walked into the room that the coach directed him to.

“Hello, Pol.” Coach said as they entered the room.

“Hello, Andrew, and this is Jay?” the man said. He had an accent unlike any that Jay had ever heard. It almost seemed like he was talking with a mouthful of mush, but was understandable at the same time.

“Yeah, I’m Jay.”

“Well, Jay, welcome. We already have a DNA test, but I’d like to take some blood, if you don’t mind, so that we can test hormone levels, and other things. I want to get a good picture of the chemical nature of your body. After that I’d like to perform an ultrasound.”

“Pol, his mother is coming in, since he is still a minor. She said that she wanted to be here to consent to any testing and so on.”

“No problem. How are you taking all of this, Jay?”

The mushy accent put Jay at-ease. He just couldn’t see the man being any sort of evil. It really didn’t fit. He seemed more like someone’s favorite uncle than anything else.

“Horribly, how would you take it to learn that the most fundamental thing about yourself was false?”

“Not too well. Who am I kidding? I'd probably be screaming and yelling about how the world can’t do this to me.”

Jay chuckled at this.

“Don’t think I didn’t consider doing just that. It’s just that yelling at the world, or god, or whatever never solved anything. You can only be pissed for so long before you realize that you have to make the world change or nothing is going to change.”

“That is a very enlightened viewpoint to have, Jay.”

Coach Peters snorted, “More of your new-age personal enlightenment, Pol?”

“Nah, I just feel that the word is good. This month I’m trying out being a Buddhist.”

“This month?” Jay said his eyes wide.

“Pol feels that there are too many religions and phylosophies in the world to limit himself to just one. He decided a couple of years ago to try each one out, that he can, for a month and see what is worthwhile in it. Then he takes those little things with him into the next month and whatever philosophy he’s moved on to.”

“Doesn’t that get confusing?

“No, it doesn’t…usually. Some of them are very similar though.”

“Jay?” Jay’s mom walked into the room.

“Hello, Fae.”

“Andrew, so what’s wrong with Jay. He was so cryptic on the phone.”

Jay reached into the pack he’d carried in with ham and grabbed the folder. He handed it to his Mom. She looked confused for a moment as she looked through it, and then she really noticed where it said female.

“What does this mean? Jay isn’t a girl.”

“That’s what were here to figure out. I’d like to take some blood and get an ultrasound.”

“Of course. Go ahead.”

“I’ll have a nurse in to take your blood then. Fae, Andrew, if you could come with me?”

They left Jay to it and went down the hall a little to Dr. Pol’s office.

“Fae, I’d like to talk to you about what this could say for Jay.”

“What do you mean?”

“The least this could mean is that he’s sterile. Or at least he’ll never be a father. At the worst, he could…she could be only male on the surface, and female on the inside.”

“How is that the worst? There’s nothing wrong with being female.”

“I personally don’t think that is what is going on here. He is too masculine looking. And that is why it’s the worst. He is very masculine in his mannerisms.”

“Oh.”

“Mom, I’d like to mention to you that you are really going to need to hold back. I can tell you’d like to have a girl. Jay is your child and he needs to be able to express himself as whomever he feels he is.”

They talked for a few moments more before Dr. Pol left the two of them in his office and went back to Jay.

“A little blood? I feel half drained.”

Pol laughed a bit at this.

“So, you ready for that ultra-sound?”

“I guess. What are you looking for?”

“A uterus, actually.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I doubt you have one, as I think I know that exactly is going on, but we need to make sure here.”

The gel was cold, but it didn’t really phase him. You lived with what you couldn’t change. Isn’t that what he’d always felt? But how did that relate to this ‘problem’ he was now dealing with? Jay lay there, worrying about what this would mean if he did have a uterus, or all of the other things that would make him truly female. Could he take that?

He found himself praying to a god he wasn’t even sure he believed in that it would come back negative. He needed it to come back negative.

“Well, I can tell you for a certainty that you are one hundred percent male, physically at least.”

Jay smiled, but then looked up at the doctor with a look of worry on his face. “What does this mean?”

“What it means is just exactly what I assumed when I first saw you. You have something that the medical community calls XX male syndrome.”

“If they include male in that…”

“Yes, at least the medical community considers you to be male,” Dr. Pol said with a slight smile, “Unless you think that you would prefer…”

“No thank you. I like being a guy.” The relief was evident in Jay’s voice.

Dr. Pol chuckled at this. “We’ll check your hormone levels to see if you need to take any pills or shots to keep your testosterone up, but from your hair growth I’d say that won’t be necessary.”

“Thank you.”

“Now for the bad news, I’d like for your mother to be there when we discuss it.”

The two of them walked back to Dr. Pol’s office, and Jay was beginning to be worried. The look on the doctor’s face was one that bothered him. It was almost as if he was about to issue a death sentence.

His mother became worried when she saw both of their faces.

Pol held up his hand before Fae could speak.

“First, I’d like to say that your son is physically male. There are none of the female internal organs visible. That leads us to the other problem. It is very likely that Jay is never going to be able to father children.”

“I can’t ever have sex?”

Dr. Pol smiled at this, “That’s not what I said. In every case I am aware of, XX males are sterile. They just don’t produce sperm.”

“Oh,” Jay said and sat down hard in the chair. It was almost as if someone had given him the best present in the world, and then told him that the batteries were missing. It looked good sitting there on the shelf, but he’d never be able to actually use it for anything other that looking at.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.”

Jay sniffled a bit, but wouldn’t let himself cry. It’s not like it had ever really meant much to him, but what teenager doesn’t tell him, or her, self that when they’re a parent they’ll do something different than their own parents.

Now, he’d never be a parent. He’d just be some in-between freak. And the rest of the school already knew.

“Honey, how about we go home. We can keep you there for a couple of days…”

“I want to go to the batting cages, mom. I need time to think.”

Fae was about to speak, but Coach Peters just shook his head.

“Come on, Jay, I’ll give you a ride.”

Fae began to cry as soon as they left the room.

“Oh my boy, my darling boy. What can I do for you now?”