I've been thinking about what the counselor said to me about having some kind of mourning ritual for the things of my past. Obviously, I couldnt do all of them in one go, so the first thing I would need to do is try and separate them out so I can tackle them one at at time. With that in mind, I've created a little grief list, and here it is, in chronological order:

1: my father's death. How do I say goodbye to someone I knew more by their absence than their presence ?

2: The rapes: I lost something precious in the process, but what kind of funeral can you hold for the death of innocence ?

3: Dorothy's childhood: I never got to be a little girl, or a teen girl, or a young adult girl. I miss those moments, but how to I mourn what I didnt have?

Well, those are the three biggies, I think. Now, the hard part - what to do about them?