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"You want to sleep on it?" Larry asked.
"I don't think I can in this corset."
"A pill?"
"No. I'm going to read this contract again. Buy-out clauses. Extension options. Twenty-five hours a week for classes. Five days off a month and a three week all-expenses-paid vacation. But it doesn't say what 'personal services' are."
"Just being Dee Dee when the Boss wants to see you."
Davey frowned. "Come back tomorrow. I'll decide then if I want to do this every day for seven years."
In the hallway, Packy asked, "She going to sign?"
Larry smiled. "How could she refuse?"
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This story is 100 words long.
Comments
What goes around comes around
That was a nicely poetic way to end the story. I like open endings. You did say 28 was going to be the last one, right?
It is rather naive of Davey to tell them to come back tomorrow. I'm sure Larry and Packy will be spending the night in the hall making sure DeeDee doesn't accidentally wander off. (Unless one of them has to lurk down in the alley watching the fire escape.)
I Agree
A real class act this way. I don't like "open-ended" just for the sake of it;
Films that end like BLOW UP out of affected artiness (the otherwise pretty good
French thriller CACHE comes to mind) when Antonioni already did this, and so well...
But this seemed better than the alternatives- throwing herself adoringly into the arms
of The Nose, or telling The Nose to get bent, or slinking off for the nearest airport.
A perfect length to it (the story, not the nose...) too. "Open ended" fits with
the ambivalence of Davey/Dee Dee, whose head we never really did get into.
Although I'm gonna miss these odd droll characters, the vivacious wise
cracking Mizz Ruby (Was she perhaps Frankie's reader at one time?
Her love of jive vernacular does not preclude a more literate
side, and something in her personality seemed
just a tad too too...)
~~~hugs, Laika
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Drabbled Out
This was the ending I planned for from the beginning, though I do have imagined bits to follow. Just no ending attached to them except possibly the revelation of just why The Nose chose Davey. I do know. :)
Next project is to take these drabbles, 2850 words worth, and expand into a story. I'm thinking about 8000 words +/-. Mostly added detail and descriptions with a few interpolated scenes, the expansion might end here or continue just a bit past this point to give readers who've already read this outline a reason to read more.
Look for the new version when I get it done, I'm not the most reliable amanuensis. :)
Love and digital ink stains,
Lainie
Great ending
Great ending, Lainie, but an 8,000 word follow-up just seems a little shallow. I'm sure a lot happened during and between the scenes you put into Drabble. I'd like to see a novelette at least. What was Davey thinking. What was The Nose and Larry thinking. What happened with the roommates when some mobsters showed up to move Davey out of his apartment. Maybe even the apartment was leased under Davey's name -- turmoil. Didn't anybody care, didn't anybody call the police or Davey's parents. What was happening with school. What will happen when he goes back to school. This would make a great situational comedy, I think.
I am a grain of sand on a near beach; a nova in the sky, distant and long.
In my footprints wash the sea; from my hands flow our universe.
Fact and fiction sing a legendary song.
Trickster/Creator are its divine verse.
--Old Man CoyotePuma
You may be right
I've written eight hundred words so far and haven't even got to the first line of dialog. :)
Love and sweat,
Lainie
All 28...
... in double-quick time, makes a great fun story... Kudos at every switch to the next one. Well done! Thanks a lot for the smile on my face! G x
oh holy cow!
You are not gonna refuse that. Sign it now. Lol
This has been fun reading. Kudos.