Recently, while reading the comments on someone's blog post, I notices that somebody was talking about hating the term 'transgender'. I realize that it's used as an umbrella term, but that's how I think of myself. Apparently, it's politically incorrect or insensitive to use that term, though.
I've known something was odd about me since I was very young (which I ain't, now), but I didn't know how to describe it. I went through a 'transvestite stage' in my early teens, and I'd probably still be dressing except that I saw myself in the mirror one day and realized how stupid I looked. I'm huge, and unfortunately, I could never pass as even an overweight woman. After that, I just went back to knowing I was just built wrong, not knowing what to call it.
I've spent most of my life in some kind of confused daze, at least as regards my sexuality.I've been married a few times, but they didn't work out (until the latest one, and she is a very masculine woman.) We are perfect for each other, and extremely happy together. She accepts my female side, and we soon realized that I was the more relaxed and 'submissive' partner, and it works out well, although I still play the male role in most daily matters (except anything regarding tools-I'm very mechanically challenged).
That said, what would be the proper term? I know, it's just a label. It's still something that lets me know that others out there are like me, and I'm not a freak. Semi-insane, well maybe. It just seems that 'transgendered' is a good fit for me. 'Gender-Challenged'? Sounds stupid. Maybe just 'Confused'? I dunno.
Wren
Comments
It fits me
I don't know what I am but I know what I am not. I am not a cross dresser. I am not a transsexual. Sometimes my thinking is feminine sometimes masculine. The term transgender fits me more than other things do.
It fits me and Thera
Yes, that pretty much describes my situation too, although some of what Wren and others described resonated with me also. I used to call myself a crossdresser, because I didn't feel like a transsexual and I had this false dichotomy in my head that you are one or the other, even though I felt somewhere in between the two. I like having "Transgender" as an umbrella term for all the "gender variants"...
Lisa Danielle
Transgendered ?
I think the PC movement was trying to do things in extremes to gain the goals of common curtsey and politeness. As an adult you define your self because What people refer to them selves as is very personal and must be up to the persons own definitions. I have come to the decision that I will make all possible allowances for the individual to use the Handel of there choice.
In Seattle up on Capital Hill there is an individual who is a bit on the short side wears mismatched loud skirts and tops, while sporting a full lumber jack beard and very harry legs, Sir is an appropriate address. In your case Transgendered is very accurate and your preferred handle. I say GO FOR IT. No harm no foul it's yours to use.
Blessings
Misha Nova
The only bad question is the one not asked.
So,
You are telling us that there is a Scotsman on Capitol hill? Why should that surprise us?
(deliberately thick this morning. Missed my local caber toss)
I think the term
I think the term "Transgendered" was made for a number of reasons but a couple spring to my mind most.
It was a way for Transsexual people to be ride of the "sexual" element, I remember when Transsexual and Sex reasignment surgery were commonly used terms but having "Sex" or "Sexual" in the term implied the wrong idea of it's meaning. I know a fair few people who had a severe dislike for the term and complained.
I think those who have Transvestite tendances also disliked being associated with a term that for a long time was seen as a sexual deviancy, the facts as we know are that Transvestism does not mean every Transvestite dresses for sexual gratification, in fact a lot dress as a stress relief and other totally non sexual reasons.
I think thats why the term "Transgender" came about because Transitional Gender has no sexual references it a more sanatized term that doesn't or shouldn't immediately imply anything sexual.
Saying that personally I hate labels, our local council recently asked us to fill in a questionaire about some repairs they recently did. I was disgusted to find a question "What is your sexual preference" as if that has anything to do with gas boiler repairs.
Needless to say my answer was "None of your business" and "According to the EU article 4 or some such, I have the right to a private life that means my sexual orientation is none of your business"
Damn cheek of it, sorry but as I say I hate labels, I cannot be put in a neat little box and I refuse to label myself for the convenience of some local council authority who have no business asking such personal private questions.
I'm gonna shut up now and go sleep before I give myself another Stroke.
Lizzie :)
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
I actually prefer Transgender
I actually prefer Transgender over Transsexual, even though officially I am the latter, my srs coming this summer (LIVE from the hospital, don't miss it!).
I know Transgender is an umbrella term, but I'm not ashamed to put myself in the same 'box' as transgenderists, crossdressers, etc.
If confusion arises, then I'll say I'm Transsexual, though I do not like the term because it contains 'sexual' in it (Though now that I think about it, I kind of switch between those two answers).
Also, lots of people think transsexuals are all extremely feminin in appearance and behavior, but with the term Transgender they don't make that connection often. Since I dress mostly in jeans, t-shirts and sweaters (no make-up or nail polish) and have an androgynous personality (even though I am female) I don't like to be stereotyped like that.
my apologies if I'm ranting,
grtz & hugs,
Sarah xxx
Umbrella terms
In the end, any term that encompasses more than one person/item is an umbrella term. Just like snowflakes, no two people are exactly the same. I was recently reading an article about lesbians, but in the article it uses the term 'gay' instead. Well, I much prefer being a lesbian and consider 'gay' to refer to male homosexuals. But I realize that 'gay' is an umbrella term for all homosexuals, male or female. I may not like it, but that's just the way it goes. It's the same with 'transgender' or 'transsexual'.
C'est la vie, c'est la guerre. I suggest getting over it.
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Transgender is not wrong.
When I made my comment, I was coming from the point of view of someone who is trying their hardest to achieve a completely normal life as a woman. And, much to my surprise, when I started using the term "Intersexed" many of my bumps in life smoothed out. I live as completely in stealth as posible, and most of the time, I get there, especially since I started going to my new church. I will tell people more about that in PMs but I'd rather not say in an open blog.
So, if someone wants to be Transgendered, Transvestite, or what ever, they probably just have different goals, and that is fine. For me I am all about being a woman, thats all, full stop.
Gwendolyn
These are my thoughts as well.
As soon as I can pass fully as female, I'll drop the "trans" completely and try to live entirely as female. Period.
For now, I'm Transgender, and will be until after SRS, whenever I can manage to get that done.
I'll just be a female with an unfortunate past, but the only people who ever need to know about it will be myself, my closest friends and family, my religious leaders, God himself (and Christ of course), and if I ever marry, my husband.
If anyone else figures it out, well, hopefully they're kind about it and hopefully they'll respect me enough to keep it quiet.
Abigail Drew.
One organisation that I know of
uses the term 'gender-variant'.
I consider myself to be a woman; I always have, it's just that my body was wrongly built. This has now been rectified to the best ability of modern medicine.
As I understand, one is 'gender-variant' while one's body is incongruent with one's mind. When the two are sychronised, one is no longer gender-variant.
That's my five pennyworth, anyway.
Susie
They're crazy then.
I think transgender sounds the best, to be honest. I don't know how to describe it other than a completely label-less label. Transgender can be used to describe anyone that falls outside of the 'gender norm' (whatever that is) but it also leaves out those pesky labels that others hate.
Transgender can mean different things to different people. For example, where does a Trans woman fit if she hasn't had SRS? She's certainly not a transsexual. It also sounds very odd to describe yourself as such if you still have the appearance of a man (having not started any sort of transition). What about those with no plans to transitions for various reasons? They can easily fit under the transgender 'label.'
In these cases, transgender becomes a term that can mean anything but doesn't mean any one thing. It's a unique term in that it cannot be co-opted to mean something you don't like. I know there are many who use the term transgender (even during transition) because they don't like the connotations of 'transsexual.' It's only after transition that they drop all terms relating to 'trans' and identify merely as a woman.
I'm sure a 40 page scholarly article could be written on this subject and still reach no conclusion. Honestly, I don't see how it could be an offensive term. To me, it seems like the best term under terrible circumstances. People like categorising things, you cannot change that. There needs to be a term to encompass differently gendered persons and 'transgender' seems to be it. It's softer sounding than 'transsexual' and it's much less specific (or sexualised) than 'crossdresser, drag queen/king, transvestite' or whatever other term you can think of.
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TL;DR: Identify how you want but always respect the identity of others. If they choose not to be labelled as 'transgender' then ask how they would like to be referred to. Personally, I think transgender fits best but not everyone will agree.
The term Intersexed.
Genetic research has grown exponentially in just the last 20 years. Now, it is known that not only are people XX or XY, but thousands of variations in between. AND the way a person develops is also influenced strongly by certain hormones that few of us even know of.
For the sake of the more male thinking, it is sort of like having a 5 speed box with a couple of brownies, hooked to a two speed axle. Why the combinations are astonishing!
Myself, I'm not XY but Xy because in layman's terms, the y chromosome is badly damaged and I have Androgen Insensitivity
Syndrome.
So, I can't be Transgendered because I was never male! I'm using that for all the mileage I can get and I would suggest that them wut can do so also.
Gwendolyn
personally...
...I'm happy with female.
Angharad :)
Angharad
Labels
I suppose as with many nouns coined to describe something hard to quantify, the various T* words remind me of a game of "Call My Bluff" - take a word and define it three different ways. However, unlike the game, there isn't a single "correct" definition and people can argue forever about them!
(Apologies for the awkwardness of the language in the below - I'm attempting not to refer to the concept of a binary sex/gender)
Take "transvestite" and "cross-dresser" for example. Etymologically they're the same - someone who chooses to wear garments associated with someone born with a different reproductive equipment configuration to theirs (e.g. clitoris instead of penis). Neither necessarily implies anything else - motivation, frequency, accuracy etc. - but over time, the media in particular have added "baggage" to the former term in particular.
As for "transgendered", I've seen it used to refer both to people whose mind is strongly aligned with someone born with a different reproductive equipment configuration to theirs and wish their body matched their self-image; and as an umbrella term for anyone who feels they don't align with the classic "gender binary" (inc. feminine men, masculine women who have no desire, wish or intention of living permanently as "the other").
Needless to say, many who've had "the works" don't consider any of the T* labels appply to them any more.
So I guess it's best to use whichever label you're the most comfortable with and define it however you want to - you may feel that one label is preferable when talking to strangers, another to friends / family and another still for those on this site and like-minded souls.
Eeny, meeny, miney, mo!
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Labels and Political Correctness.
Labels are what language is made of.
Some labels are broad, and others are very precise. For instance, "Animal" is a broad label. "Feline" is a subset of that, and "Cat" is a more narrowly defined subset.
Except that the term "Cat" is often used interchangeably with the term "Feline" -- as in saying that a tiger is a big cat.
Even terms like "Tiger" and "Lion" can mess you up when you breed them and get a "Tiglon" or "Liger."
Still, we need to use some kind of a label if we are going to communicate.
Meanings get really slippery when you start dealing with human motivations, feelings, and behavior. Behavior, at least, can be observed exernally. Feelings and motivations have to be inferred.
So... I have ASD, which means Autism Spectrum Disorder. More specifically, I appear to have Asperger's -- which is often referred to as a form of high-functioning autism.
But, if I tell people that I'm autistic, the first thing they generally think of is Rain Man, an idiot savant, or perhaps someone sitting in the corner, drooling, and flapping his arms.
So, those are the labels. If you meet me, you'll probably quickly note that I'm a nerd. You may see someone who is shy or socially awkward, but you won't see a dork who is making weird noises or emotionally cold or any of those popular stereotypes.
So I freely admit to being a nerd. I fit those stereotypes. People have a more accurate concept of what to expect. (Until they find out that I am also a lover of nature.)
Similarly, we all know that using any label like transsexual, transgender, or whatever will cause the average person to ask if you like boys or girls, or perhaps expect you to mince around and wear over-the-top clothing and makeup.
That's not a problem with the term. It's a problem with ignorance. People all have their own idea of the meaning of the term. In some ways, this is expected because the terms are are kind of slippery and subject to change. This is a natural characteristic of human language, but some terms have more variability than others. When you have people who really don't have a good concept of what transgendered people are like, the term ends up less than useful with those people.
If I tell you that I want a Rag Doll cat, you won't have a clear concept of what I am saying if you have never seen a Rag Doll cat. You can ask me about the Rag Doll breed, or look it up and find a clear definition. Not so with the term "transgender." At least, there isn't a good consensus.
And then we have the problem with political correctness.
While it has the laudable goal of reducing inflammatory speech, its biggest effect is to remove words from the lexicon, and to define some terms as insulting -- even if they were never meant to be that way.
Hey, most any term can be used as an insult if it is applied that way. At other times, even the most insulting word can be used as a term of endearment.
The problem with transgender
... is that it is too indefinite a term for the layman and for legal purposes. For the purposes of making law, there sometimes need to have some kind of more focused definition. I mean, there is a practical threshold where a 'transgender' person ( who may include crossdresser ) should be permitted to share woman only spaces where nudity is involved as an obvious example.
Sorry, I am just not comfortable to have a part time woman who is not on hormones and has full active genitalia to share that space with me even if they are transgendered. The only exception I think I might make in this case would be if they were transsexed and am undergoing RLT. But no, I would not share a shower with them. At that point the law would have to have to use the more specific term.
Kim