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I was incredibly stoked to read that Diana (Moongoddess) had come out to some people at her bingo hall. Of course now our bar of expectations for her goes up and I expect any day to read that she's going to the hall enfemme and getting called "Di" wherever she goes.... (just kidding hon, take your time, do it at a pace you can handle.) Anyway, after reading that I hoped it could be the start of a trend where some of our closeted authors make the choice to come out. Lets make 2012 the Year We All Stopped Hiding!
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Re: Coming out/Explanation letter.
Enclosed herein is a letter I wrote to notify my co-workers and my Boss about my beginning my RLT. I've blanked out some specific references to where I worked and, of course my name, but this letter, in the form it appears, was a prime mover, clearing the way with the company I worked for, and the County Lawyer, for me to begin my RLT at work. Feel free to use it in any way that might help you or anyone else.
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To all my friends and co-workers:
As many of you are aware, I have been undergoing some changes in the last year or more. This is due to the simple fact that I am transgendered...that is, a woman in a mans body. I am treating this as simply a mistake made at birth and I am undergoing constant therapy and medical intervention to correct the 'birth defect' I was born with.
Many of you have seen a picture of me as my 'real' self, and through talking with you I have found, to my grateful surprise, that most, if not all, of you seem to be supportive in this, saying that “I need to do what I have to, for myself.†Your open and accepting attitudes have made this decision easier to make. It has taken me many years to get to this point and, having finally made this decision, I know that if I back down this time, I will never succeed at it. That would be, literally, a death sentence for me, since I can no longer live with hiding who and what I really am. I feel as though I have been lying to the whole world for -- years about who and what I truly believe myself to be. Well, it's time for me to stop lying and face what IS.
It's true that this is my life, but this affects everyone who knows me. Family, friends, co-workers, etc, and I am asking for your continued support as, in the very near future, I will be undergoing what is called a 'real life test' which will REQUIRE me to take on the female role, 24/7, 365, for at least a year or more before I can be considered for surgeries to bring my body in line with what my brain says it's supposed to be. Thus, I will be living, working, recreating, etc as a woman. I know this will be difficult for some of you to understand, but at one point I attempted to commit suicide over this. I chose to live and deal with this instead.
In the time I have been an escort at -----, I have, I believe, achieved a very good work ethic, doing what needs to be done with very little questioning and with, I hope, good humor. I want to assure each and every one of you that this will not change. I fully intend to continue at -----, working the way I have for the past few years, provided circumstances allow me to remain employed at ----.
In truth, the only things that will change, at least visually, will be minimal makeup, longer hair, and what I hope will pass as a female shape, albeit a large one, to be sure. My clothing choices will not change except that they will be female versions of what I already wear...what we all wear. Basic jeans and t-shirts/tops, work shoes/boots/sneakers, just with a feminine cut and flair. The basic “me†that you have worked with will be virtually the same. The same old tired jokes and stories, as well as the humor I try to face each day with.
I hope and pray this will not effect the friendships/working relationships we have built at ----. I want help all of you to understand this situation. To that end, If ANYONE has ANY questions, PLEASE come to me with them. The only dumb questions...are the ones you don't ask. I promise to be as open and honest as I possibly can about this. I don't want to embarrass anyone with this, but I have to do what I have to do. If this causes any of you problems, or embarrasses any of you, please come to me and we can try to talk it out.
As a final point, during this “real life test,†if all of you can simply refer to me as 'she', 'her' or by my chosen name, which is -----, and try to think of me as a female, it will help me a great deal with seeing this through. -----,------, or any other diminutive of --------- will be fine. If you slip and call me by my old male name, I will understand. This is going to be just as difficult for me, as I imagine it will be for you.
Thank you for your understanding and support.
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If anyone wants to use this as a pattern for their own "coming out letter", please feel free to do so. I hope it will help you as it did me.
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
I appreciate the sentiment,
but I've already made complex and devious -what did you expect? ;)- plans for coming out fully. I'm often hiding, but never FULLY hidden... :)
*Fades into the dark, leaving only her grinning teeth visible, Cheshire Cat style* ))
- - -
BCTS's resident Extravagant Honorable Trans-Cat-MegaTomboy! ;D ...But I do like cuddles from soft but strong arms... ^_^
you, complex and devious?
you dont say!Giggle. I cant wait to see how it goes for you hon. I wish I could have been a little bit more complex and devious myself...
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
I must admit...
....I don't believe I've seen you without a grin, but a grin without an Extravagant Honorable Trans-Cat-MegaTomboy? It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Been out since the 90's
Outed by my spouse in a horrendous divorce, decided since everyone knew I'd live enfemme. Had a hiccup in transition and waited until my daughter graduated high school to make full transition. So confident in my life as a female I had breast augumentation and have lived full time for the past six years with out and adverse consequences.
I am involved in community activities and statewide activities. I do public speaking in the spring and summer. I have traveled via airlines throughout the United States. I'm no stranger to the womens bathrooms in bus stations or airports.
the strange thing was that all of the people I associated with suddenly did not know me when I transitioned from male to female. Nice thing is I have a very large circle of accepting friends, larger then those I associated with.
I've been called an abomination, told it was a poor choice of my choosing, God does not want me that wa. I go to church with other christians who are loving and caring. I think those who claim they are christians and spew hate are doing us loving Christians an injustice.
I like having doors opened for me, I don't like having my butt pinched on an elevator. I've had married men go gaga when I talked to them, nothing happened.
I face the everyday life of a female who is on the go.
I at one time had my fears and tripidations, just knowing someone was going to know I was a male. I really beleive that my own self confidence and assurance was acquired by not caring if any oe said any thing. Its my liffe and I live it as I choose and if people don't like it its their problem not mine. Am I flambuoyant, not at all, I blend in with other women who are out for the day.
I go to stores, try on dresses, go to makeup counters to get a makeover and buy some cosmetics. I have a little problem that a lot of women have a light bladder leak, so I buy pads and don't even worry about consequences as there are none.
I've been fitted for bras by an expert, had an annual mammogram, and spend one day a week getting my hair done by a stylist and onc e every two weeks getting my nails doe at a nail salon. I go to stores and try on shoes, have several swim suits I have worn during the summer to the beach.
As a small boy I never went swimming unless I had a Tee-shirt on. I knew then girls were not to expose their breasts.
I am intersexed, my hormones have been running amok, I watch guys and comment to my friends about them. I'm ready for a relationship with a guy. I can say that I have grown in the past six years and all for the better, I can say I am at peace with myself.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Grins Madly
I was soooo scared last night Dorothy... it was difficult to even say the words. i wish i could just start living like i should, but alas i need to shed at least 100 pounds before i start to rebuild my (alas purged) wardrobe... I'm going to join the Y (they have reduced rates for persons on social assistance) and hit the rowers... i also am going to go to the Gender Clinic at CAMH... i have large an baby steps to take but i'm taking them finally... i am proud to say that you have been a major influence and role model for me, as have many of the other strong people on this site... as i said... i am proud to see you as my sister.
Love and biggest Hugs,
Diana
Dorothy and Diana inspired me to come out to my parents
Diana, Dorothy... your brave stories of coming out and telling people about your true selves have inspired me.
Tonight, I screwed up the courage and, tearfully, came out to my parents.
"Mom, Dad, there's something you don't know about me. Something I've told only a few understanding online friends about over the years. *sniffle* I'm... I'm a smartass."
My dad went back to reading his newspaper.
My mother looked at me, non-plussed, and said, "We know that, Dan. We knew since you were young and would correct your teachers or ham it up in school. Or sarcastically mock Uncle Mike when he'd act like a bigshot. I just knew there was something different about you. A mother knows these things..."
I almost passed out from relief. They knew! And they still accepted me! Loved me!
Now to tell my siblings. Then my friends...
What if they all know already too, if they've seen signs of it I didn't even realize I was giving out...
Hmmm...
Lisa Danielle
OMG Lisa! That's sooo awesome!
*Great Big Huge Brave Hugs*
Seriously I'm so proud of you and that your family was actually that cool about it:) Well you parents at least and it still took a huge amount of courage to do.
You're Awesome I've told you that haven't I?
Definitely bears repeating.
*More Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Can't forget Bailey...
Thank you, my friend. I can't forget you, either. You've been a big influence on my life lately, and accepting myself, too. Through your stories, and your friendship. It's a lot easier to accept both my inner girl and my inner smartass, and let them express themselves more in my everyday life.
You're at least a little awesome yourself. (okay, a lot...)
*Big Angel Hugs*
Lisa Danielle Lore
Proud Bailey's Angel