Warming Up
By ashes
It's a big day for Tanya, this is her preparation.
Author's note: I had fun with the more visual parts of this challenge, where as describing actions felt choppy and conveying feeling felt like sort of breaking the rules. Anyway I hope you enjoy this partly self-inspired short story. I'll let you guess which parts.
Here was the premise for this week's challenge
2. Mute
Idea: Write an entire story without dialogue or internal monologue.
Length: 1500 words or less.
Limitations: Due to the goal of the challenge, viewpoint should be limited to third-person, try to keep even comments concerning the character's interpretation of what is around them to a minimum.
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Tanya woke from a fitful, restless sleep, her nightgown and sheets twisted around her. She glanced at her bedside clock, which read 5:20. She groaned and turned the alarm off, as it was set to go off in only ten minutes. A warm summer sun was just peeking over the tops of the buildings outside the window casting morning sunlight through, the kind that looks a little deeper yellow than the rest of the day. As she waited for the grogginess to abate, she took a moment to admire the way it bathed her studio apartment in a comforting glow, reflecting warmly off the polished hardwood flooring with a golden-brown color. It was one of her favorite things about the apartment.
She unraveled herself from the tangled prison of sheets, nervous and anxious for the big day ahead of her. She made her way to the bathroom for a shower, which she needed especially after the restless night she just had. She hung her nightgown on the outside doorknob, and tossed her bra and panties into the clothes hamper. She shut the door and started running the water.
She looked at herself in the mirror while she waited a minute for the water to warm up. Her light blonde hair framed her youthful smooth face, with soul-gazing green eyes that one could easily get lost in. Her hair came down to the tops of her breasts, which were in between a B and C cup size. Shopping could be a pain but she managed. Her waist was slim but her hips left a little to be desired, she had always had trouble putting on weight. Most girls would be jealous, but she would have liked a little more. Her endocrinologist would have liked her to gain a little weight in the hips too.
Then the whole reason for her nervousness caught her eye. The offensive organ still between her legs, the one that had caused so much emotional pain for her entire life. Today, that was going to change. In a few hours time she would be lying on a table in a hospital in the city, correcting her birth defect. Of course the majority of males don't see it that way, but she obviously hadn't been an ordinary male, even when calling her male was still appropriate.
She smiled as she turned away from her reflection and stepped into the shower. She did all the usual shower things, and continued getting ready for the big day. She dressed in a sports top and jogging shorts with tennis shoes. It would be a warm California summer day, even this early in the morning. She dressed down for now since these clothes wouldn't be on her very long anyway. She put two more outfits in a canvas bag, one of those reusable ones they give you for your groceries these days. She would be in the hospital for almost a week after surgery and she wasn't going to be wearing a backless gown for a week if she could help it.
Her stomach growled as she added some shoes to the ensemble in the bag. She brought everything to the kitchen area and set the bag by the table. She got a bottle of water out of the fridge. Unfortunately for her and her stomach she had to fast for having surgery, so water was all she was allowed until she was awake again.
She still had twenty minutes until she had to leave to get to her appointment on time, so she went out to the balcony to drink her water and lose herself in her thoughts. Her balcony overlooked a small courtyard with similar apartment buildings on three of the four sides. It was about the size of an average intersection, with stone sidewalks making a sort of checkerboard pattern around some little gardens, grass patches, and a small stone fountain in the center. The fourth side, the one without a building, was lined with three medium-sized trees separating the courtyard from the street. It was lovely in the morning, quiet save for two pairs of songbirds flitting around each other.
She finished her bottle of water and glanced back at the clock. She got up to get her bag as it was just about time to leave. She grabbed her purse and her keys and stopped with her hand on the doorknob. She let go, stood a little straighter, then closed her eyes and let out a sigh. All the trepidation she had left her, she was visibly more relaxed. She opened her eyes again, smiled and left. Even though she had been living as a female for over three years now, she left her apartment that day with an air of confidence that she had never had as a girl before. She would return to her home a new woman.
Another note: The story alone is 813 words, it's allowed to be about twice as long and I feel like I should have been able to do more. Maybe eventually I will, but for now I wanted to get this small challenge done so I could begin some larger ones... anyway tell me if you think it's fine now or if you think there should be more.
Comments
Warming Up
Short/sweet.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Nil By Mouth
8 hours before the op.
I woke at 5 and had to be onthe table by 7.30 checked into the hospital at 6.45 and was unconscious by 7.34 - Awoke at 12.45 a few ounces lighter
Quality over Quantity.
It's fine as it is. Better than fine, even. ^_^
*HuggleSnugglePurr* <3
- - -
BCTS's resident Extravagant Honorable Trans-Cat-MegaTomboy! ;D ...But I do like cuddles from soft but strong arms... ^_^
Interesting approach
I'm not sure I completely agree with your thoughts about the choppiness. I actually like it... more than that, there are a few places that might have benefited by being just a touch more clipped.
It gives the impressions of verbal sound bites (word bites?) For me it intensifies the anticipation of what's to come. Remembering that day myself, involved thought was out of the question. The combination of excitement and anxiety made it hard to focus on much of anything other than the excitement and anxiety. I admit that I was a bit stressed over anything that might go wrong that would delay things.
Another difference is that I woke up about 1500ccs heavier (BA at same time... LOL)
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.
Thanks
You know what they say, you're your own worst critic. I guess that's true in my case since everyone seems not to have any problems with my writing so far. Thanks for the support! :)