I started posting this as a daily entry, but the short postings bothered a lot of the readers so I decided to make it a finished short story. I hope you enjoy

Journal of a Transformation
By Anistasia Allread

Test Day minus two

I'm a bit nervous. If this works, and it should work, it will be life changing to say the least. I ran another computer simulation to test the Nano's out and rechecked the data from the chimp test. Every thing looks very promising. Violet and I agreed not to install them all at one go. My body may go into some kind of shock or it would be very painful to say the least. Violet and I decided to program the first thousand to work on my brain functions while later injections will be programed for body modifications.

Had a beer with my brother, Jeff last week and told him what we are attempting. He doesn't believe it will work, and if it does, he thinks its kind of stupid to do something so radical. It has to be radical. We have to show the world that we have finally accomplished the impossible. If, or I should say when we prove this, it will not only mean a Nobel, but a way to reverse or prevent many diseases, cancers or even organ regeneration. Imagine being able to give someone a new heart just by injecting Nanos into their system. Someone crippled due to a spinal injury? Not after some Nanos repair the tissue.

I guess I could program them to grow a third arm but then I'd just be a freak, besides where would I have a third arm? On my back so that I could scratch my ass? No, after much talking it over with Violet we decided that we should do nothing too weird because I'd have to live with it. We needed to do something physical as well as chemical we wanted to show that the Nanos can change the body's chemistry by manipulating the brain as well as body tissue.

I told Violet that I didn't want to go out buying a bunch of stuff before I needed to. I want to make sure that the results are conclusive and documented. After all this is one small step for the medical field, one large jump for human kind.

Test Day minus one

My brother came over last night asked me once again if I was going through with this. He asked me if I was gay. I assured him that I wasn't gay, just a dedicated scientist. He admitted that he is a bit weirded out by this experiment. His wife is even more so. I asked him what he told his kids. He said that they hadn't discussed it with them yet. They would if the experiment works. His wife is upset because if it does work then I'm playing 'God'.
I know there will be a lot of opposition if this works like we are planning.

All computer simulations are positive. Violet prepped the procedure room today. I set up video cameras to document. We thought about having friends and family come witness the occasion, but decided against it. There really won't be anything to watch other than hooking me up to an I.V. For about thirty minutes.

I'm actually going to do this. It is starting to hit me. Tomorrow morning I will be changing my life and eventually everyone else's too.

Test Day minus two hours

I actually have butterflies in my stomach. Didn't eat much for breakfast. Kind of nervous and kind of excited. Violet has double, and triple checked everything. She even has a defibrillator ready 'just in case'. We measured every part of me including a laser scan of my body measurements. We also weighed me and drew blood for a full chemical analysis.

Test Day plus one hour.

What a major disappointment. But it was to be expected. Violet hooked up the I.V. With the Nanos while I lay down on the exam table. I didn't think anything would happen, and I was right. Violet emptied the bag of Nanos into me and didn't feel a thing. She did a sweep with the transmitter to activate them. These are programmed to enter the brain and begin to 'tweak' hormone levels and brain functions. My blood pressure is up just because I'm anxious. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew it wouldn't be anything shocking and right away.

Test Day plus four hours

Violet seemed excited by how everything ran so smoothly today. I've settled back down and have started programming the next batch of Nanos. Violet and I decided to wait a week before proceeding with the second batch.

Test Day plus eight hours

Heading home. It has been an exhausting day. Mostly just because of nerves and wanting things so badly. Violet and I have been working on this for three years now. Time to go home eat a steak, drink a bottle of wine, put the feet up and watch football.

Day Four

Helped Jeff finish building a deck in his back yard. I hooked up the gas line so that his gas fire pit would work. The kids joined me in roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over the new fire pit while sitting on the finished deck.
Found myself crying for no reason this evening. I don't know what caused it. I just suddenly found my self blubbering. Perhaps the Nanos are starting to work their magic.

Day Six

Told Violet about my emotional roller coaster. She giggled at me. It made me angry. I don't know what came over me but I flung everything off of my desk the whole time blubbering. I could barely see because of the tears. I didn't fling my computer off the desk, thank goodness. I at least had sense enough to keep a little control. Imagine all that would be lost if I damaged my hard drive. Don't get me wrong I was hysterical enough that I could have pulverized every last piece of it. What made it worse was that Violet didn't even seem angry or scared by my outburst. She just smiled like she knew a secret before leaving me to pick up the mess as I mopped my eyes.

After lunch Violet and I got into a little fight. She wants to precede with the Nanos programmed for body modifications. I told her that I wanted to stick to the original schedule. She got more and more angry and soon we were shouting at one another. We need to take this whole thing slow and methodical. We can't be taking short cuts and blowing opportunities to show what this technology can do. Body modifications can come later, once we have figured out all that these little guys can do to brain chemistry.

Met Tom at the pub for a snack and to sip some ale. Played some darts. He won again. He always wins. Found myself having to really control my emotions at the bar. One minute, I'm having a great time with Tom, the next, I'm pissed or feeling like I'm going to cry. Tom sensed something was going on. He asked if something was going on at home. I haven't told him yet about the experiment. I don't want to weird out my drinking buddy. I told him it was just a rough day.

Day eight

I stayed home yesterday. I told Violet that I just couldn't come in. I lay in bed for the first part of the morning not wanting to move. Every time I felt like getting up, I would just start crying. I would cry because of a childhood memory, or because I love Jeff's kids as much as if they were my own. I decided to take a shower. The shower turned into a long bath. Just me soaking in the tub, feeling the gentle kiss of water where my skin broke surface.

After a long bath, I fixed myself some breakfast. Eggs, toast and some coffee. Still feeling nostalgic, I pulled out my old photo albums. One minute laughing, the next crying. I was an emotional roller coaster heading for a brick wall.

Ended up eating a salad for dinner and chased it down with a couple of beers. I called Jeff and made a fool out of myself telling him how much he meant to me as a brother. He thought I was drunk and told me to take a cold shower. I'm such a idiot. I should have never called him.

Violet seemed happy this morning. She said she had the next batch of Nanos programmed and ready for delivery. When I decided to scan them and see what there programming was, she became very upset with me. Said that I didn't trust her. I assured her that it was just to see what was coming next. The scan turned out to be exactly what I wanted. More Nanos programmed to work on my brain functions.
Violet was huffy and irritated for most of the rest of the day.

Day nine

I think I'm starting to balance out my emotions. I'm not sobbing at telephone commercials anymore at least. Ready to install the next batch. We took my measurements, blood sample and weight before I started the I.V. It wasn't as scary this time.

Violet seemed a bit edgy today. When I confronted her on it, she admitted to programming a few hundred of the Nanos to start the body modifications. When I questioned her on what modifications, She said only to get rid of my body hair. I explained that the Nanos working in my brain would be doing that by re-wiring it to secrete estrogen instead of testosterone. She nodded in understanding, and said that she wanted to speed up the process a little. I almost lost control again. I told her that I would be the one programming the Nanos for now on.

I almost told her that she was no longer needed, but she is very much needed. She is co author of this paper, research and its findings. I need to trust her, but I don't know if I dare after the past day or two. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need her help to keep this test on schedule. There is no way I can do it alone.

Day thirteen

Noticed that my beard isn't as thick today and my skin seems to have a glow about it. It's softer and a nice color about it.

It's been taking longer to program the Nanos now that I have taken it over from Violet. I was scheduled for another installation tomorrow, but it looks like I'll have to wait a day or two more. I shouldn't throw off the schedule too much.

I had a weird urge to clean today. Ended up bleaching the entire kitchen. Scrubbed the stove top and underneath of it. Pulled out the fridge and cleaned behind and under it. Scrubbed all of the shelves in the pantry and organized my drawers. Took me all day. If I can find time, after I finish programming these Nanos, I'll scrub the bathroom too.

Day fifteen

Finally finished programming the Nanos late last night. I couldn't sleep, so I cleaned my office. Threw out a bunch of paperwork I no longer needed, changed out light bulbs and scrubbed everything from coffee maker to key board.

After another round of measurements, and blood draw, I hooked myself up to another bag of Nanos. Most of these are going to work on brain functions, but I tasked a few to stop production of sperm. Not going to need that anymore as this continues to show positive results.

The next batch will begin body modifications. Some of the modifications are pretty general, but some are a bit tedious to program because It involves delicate sculpting of different body parts.

Day twenty.

I didn't have to shave this morning. The first time in years. I seem to be losing the hair on my arms and legs now too.

Got the bathroom scrubbed. You could probably eat off any surface in it and not pick up any bacteria or virus. I practically sterilized it.

Emotional roller coaster is at a minimum. Every once in a while I feel like blubbering, but for the most part, I've got it under control. I have noticed that I'm becoming either paranoid or very cautions. Walking to my car is starting to scare me . I don't know why. I'm haven't changed my body yet, but little things, irrational things seem to cause me to panic. I even started locking my bedroom door at night.

I have been craving a steak or a thick juicy burger all day. I've never had cravings like this before. Sure I would 'feel' like having a certain kind of food, but never a over whelming 'gotta have' feeling. Meeting Jeff and the family at the Black Angus for dinner.

Violet has been pressuring me to start breast enhancements. I disagree. I think that is too obvious to do at this time. I told her that I thought we should concentrate on the finer details such as reducing the harshness of my jaw and my brow. You know start small and work your way to the larger stuff. I think reducing the size of my vocal chords could be in order pretty soon.

Day twenty-one

Blood results came back. My estrogen levels are off the charts. I think I need to scan the Nanos and see if they are mal functioning. They were to start my body making estrogen and blocking testosterone, but to flush my system with this much is dangerous.

When I brought up the hormone levels with Violet,we got into another fight. She admitted to adding estrogen to the I.V. with the Nanos. I had no choice, I had to suspend her for a few days. I hope that this will make her think about what we are doing here and she'll stop trying to sabotage the project. This is my body she is messing with.

Dinner with Jeff and his family felt a bit strained last night. The kids haven't noticed anything, but Jeff''s wife did notice my glowing skin, and Jeff seemed to be a bit stand offish. I reassured him that I he was still my brother and that this wouldn't change anything. I also told him that if this works that I can reverse the process to really throw the medical world on its head.

Day Thirty

It has been one month since the human testing has begun. I’ve noticed my waist getting thinner. Mainly because I’ve had to tighten my belt so tight. My hips are starting to get wider too.

Darts with Tom didn’t go so well. Sure he usually beats me almost every game, but I found that I had to throw harder than I remember doing in the past. Should I start going to the gym or continue letting the Nanos do their job? Tom asked if everything was all right. He said that I looked like I wasn’t eating right and losing too much weight. I think he noticed my missing strength was well.

Oh and the bar started smelling real funny to me. I asked the bar tender if someone spilled something on the carpet or something, because it smelled pretty foul. He assured me that he didn’t smell anything any different. I asked Tom, but he said that the bar always smelled this way.

Cleaned the kitchen when I got home. It wasn’t too dirty, but little things like that have been bothering me lately. I noticed that I have begun to lock the bathroom door when I’m using it. It’s my own house, no one is home. The font door is locked and I’m still locking the bathroom door? I know it doesn’t make sense, but still.

Heard from Violet this evening. She is excited about the next batch of Nanos. I told her that this next batch would start changing my masculine features. She nearly screeched with joy. She said something about shopping. I told her that I still thought it was too early.

Day thirty-one

After taking measurements, we installed the latest batch of Nanos. This is where things are going to start getting a little weird. This is where some of the more obvious body modifications are going to start to take place.

Violet went shopping. I know because I came home and there were several outfits on hangers in my closet and a few pairs of shoes lined up on one wall. I warned her not to shop yet, because my measurements will still be changing and well, the shoes will be too big by the end of the month since one of the modifications is to shrink my monstrous feet.

Was intrigued by some of the fashions that she picked out. I locked my self in my bedroom and stripped. I looked at myself in the mirror for a long moment. I haven’t really done that yet. I just stared at my naked body for a long time.

My body hair is gone. Even my legs are smooth. My arms and legs are a bit thinner and leaner and my skin is smooth, silky and I think I can see a bit of a glow.

I rummaged around through Violet’s purchases and slipped into a pair of lacey panties. Realizing what I was doing, I closed my drapes and double checked the lock on my bedroom door.

I don’t have breasts yet. . . . well, I have small breast buds, but I can’t really call them breasts yet. I was curious about the bra, but decided to for go it for now. The lacey panties were enough of a change. I pulled out a cream dress with a pink floral pattern on it. I couldn’t decide if I was supposed to step into it, or slip it over my head. I decided to step in and pull it up. It was a bit difficult getting the zipper zipped.

Staring at the floor, I stepped in front of the mirror. I closed my eyes and looked straight ahead. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

What was I thinking. I still looked like a man in drag. It was pretty awful. I quickly got out of the outfit and decided to take a bath.

Day forty-five

I’ve been in a lot of pain for the past week or two. The body modification nanos aren’t blocking as much of the nerves as they are modifying my body. I began taking pain killers, especially at night so that I can sleep through some of this. My shoes are a bit large for me now. I almost wore some flats that Violet bought me to the lab today. I want to wait just a little longer. I’m wearing a ‘B’ cup bra now. The rapid breast growth was almost as painful as the bone removal from my feet. Violet is thrilled that I’m wearing bras to work now.

My sex drive is starting to change. I’m not thinking about sex nearly as often as I used to and little wonder. My male genitalia has reduced in size so much that I have to sit to urinate now.

I have been distant from my brother’s family during this time. I think it would make them all a bit uncomfortable seeing me going through these changes as rapidly as I am. I’ve also been staying away from Tom. The guys at the bar will definitely be weirded out. I still haven’t told Tom what I’m undertaking. How do you tell your best friend that you are experimenting on yourself and in doing so, switching genders?

Although I’m wearing bras to work I haven’t been wearing any other articles of women’s clothing to the lab. I have however been enjoying my emersion into women’s clothing at home. The fabrics especially feel so silky against my more sensitive skin. Polyester, silk, rayon. It all is so fantastic to explore. And there is so many options on how to dress and fabrics to choose from. I think Violet is going to enjoy dressing me, and I may end up enjoying Violet dressing me.

Day sixty

Well, my penis is officially gone. . . well pretty much. I have an innie instead of an outie now. Folds of skin forming a volva are now concealing my male anatomy. I’m a sitter in the bathroom now. There’s just no way of cleanly using a urinal.

I know it has been a short time but the Nanos seem to be working over time. I’m wearing a ‘C’ cup bra now. I am beginning to wonder if Violet tampered with some of the programming to make my breasts grow quicker.

Looking in the mirror I have noticed that my face is softer. My cheeks jaw line isn’t as harsh, my chin is softer and my brow ridge is not as severe. I think Violet wants to see me as a blonde. My hair’s new growth is all coming in blonde which looks kind of funny with my dark brown ends. I’ll either have to cut off the brown or see a hair stylist to see if they can match my new color. I think Violet has the Nanos working overtime on growing my hair. I’d swear that it is growing almost an inch per week. Eight times that of a normal human hair.

My feet are adequately small enough. I’m now wearing a woman’s size seven shoe. I had to return some of the shoes that Violet had previously bought to get a smaller size. I really wish she would hold off on buying things until the body modifications are over.

Were color’s always this bright? This varied? I don’t remember noticing this many variances in color before. I am now able to tell you the difference between an ‘eggshell’ and an ‘antique’ white. Wtf?

My emotions have been going a bit wild again. I was scared going out to my car at the grocery store. I made sure that I looked in the back seat before I got into the car. Who knows what kind of freak might be lurking about. With my frame being smaller and not being nearly as muscular, I feel much more intimidated than ever.

Day Sixty-two

Went out in public as a woman today. I was terrified at first. Violet had prepared me with a simple outfit. Snug fitting jeans, flowing blouse and flats. There was a note on the outfit and credit cards with my name telling me to go shopping for a new wardrobe. Apparently she has set up an appointment at a place in the mall for a personal shopper to assist me in my choosing.

Before heading to the mall however, I decided to play it safe and do a little bit of grocery shopping. The cupboards are bare since I’ve spent a lot of time at home. I must have sat in the car in front of the store for half an hour before getting up the nerve to get out. Once out of the car, I took a deep breath and stepped forward. I held my head high and tried not to brush the shoulder length hair out of my face too much as I entered the store. Most women from what I have noticed can ignore the tendrils of hair falling in front of their eyes or nose.

The super market was depressingly uneventful. No one looked and pointed at me like I was a freak or a man in drag. I had to keep reminding my self that I was now a woman. I may not be a fully functioning one quite yet, but no one else, but a doctor would be able to tell. With more confidence, I took the food home and put it away before heading to the mall.

I felt like a fucking paper doll at the department store. ‘try this one on. . . try that one on’ ‘this will go better with your eyes. that will show off your hips better’. It had been fun for the first few outfits but after that it became just a chore as I tried on one outfit after another. I ended up with spending too much and buying only a few outfits. One of them is an understated yet sexy dress that I plan on wearing to the bar to meet with Tom. That should freak him out.

I would have gone straight home from the store, but on my way out, one of the makeup women grabbed my attention and insisted that my eyes and brow shape were too gorgeous to not be showcasing them with makeup. I tried to pay as close attention as I could as she went to work on me. She lost me very quickly with product names and names of techniques, but I feel very confident that I can duplicate it at home. She was right, my eyes and brow shape are gorgeous.

When I finally got home, I hung up my new clothes and crashed on the bed. I didn’t wake up until after dinner time.

Day Sixty-eight

I’ve been busy in the lab. I have one more batch of Nanos to implant. The Nanos from the first one or two transfusions have already lived their life time and have been excreted by my body. These will finish up some of the modifications. All that is left is to create a uterus and fine tune some of the body modifications.

When not in the lab, I’ve been home drinking wine, eating chocolate and watching House Wives. Oh my God, chocolate has never tasted so incredible! I’ve gone through close to three pounds this week. I hope it isn’t all going to my hips. I’ve worked hard designing the Nanos to sculpt this body I don’t need to ruin it with chocolate.

I made an appointment for me to get my hair cut. She insisted that it would be better to just cut the brown off of the blonde. The Nanos are growing it out at such an incredible speed that it won’t be short. . . at least for long. The salon was a new experience for me. I am, or was used to just stopping in to some cheap place and getting a number two on the sides and four on top. Violet laid out a long skirt and scoop neck blouse. White strappy sandals with heals to complete the look. When I arrived they had me change into a gown then brought me some tea to sip while I waited for my stylist.

I was a bit nervous. Never having been to this kind of salon, I didn’t know what to tell the stylist. Bessie (I know, I thought of a cow too) Bessie was a pretty young woman in her early thirties with beautiful hair. She greeted me with a warm smile and led me back to a seat. After draping me she spoke to me about my hair and what would look good. I told her that she could what ever she wanted as long as the brown was gone.

Oh my God. Who knew that going to a proper salon could be such a relaxing, personal, fantastic experience. I look and feel amazing. The brown ends are gone. My hair has movement and shine and I got such an ego boost. No one at the salon, even Bessie, saw my as anything but a woman. And now, I have the hair of a celebrity.

Day Seventy

Called my brother and made a date to meet him and the family at his house for a dinner. He and his wife haven’t told the kids yet about my transformation and he nor his wife have seen me since the last time I was there. I can totally picture them expecting me to look like a guy in a dress when I show up. They won’t recognize me. This is going to be a bit awkward but a lot of fun. I just hope the kids will be able to accept me.

Violet is pushing me to implant the last of the Nanos. She is impatient for the finished results. I think part of it is that she wants to see me in a bikini. I found one in my dresser drawer this morning. It is very cute. I haven’t had the nerve to put it on yet. I think I still need to figure out which string goes where.

I’m feeling great. I called Tom up to see if he wants to meet me at the bar. He sounded a bit weirded out by the idea but reluctantly agreed. I think I’ll knock his socks off. I’m going to leave the lab early to get ready. It still takes me a little bit of time to put make up on and I’m still getting used to styling my fantastic new hair style.

Day Seventy-one

Oh my Lord. I went to the bar last night to meet Tom for drinks and perhaps some darts. I looked amazing. Men turned their heads as I passed by. Women did too, but I think it was more to leer at me with jealousy.

I ended up wearing a leopard print pencil skirt, red, low cut blouse, black leather bolo jacket and red three inch pumps. My hair was perfect and my makeup was smashing. If I was still a guy, I would have been staring at me. Well, I kind of was as I admired myself in the mirror.

I got to the bar early and had already had two pints when Tom showed up looking for me. He had no idea who I was, and I kept catching him checking me out. I tried to play it cool, but I think I failed miserably. I approached him, which caught him off guard, and asked if he played darts. He smiled and told me that he was waiting for a friend, but that he didn’t think his friend was showing up and that he would love to play darts.

I have to admit, I got a thrill out of him checking out my butt and legs as I threw at the target. I found my self smiling when his eyes kept drifting to my abundant cleavage. But the best part of the evening is when he stepped up to throw his darts and I told him who I really was. He not only missed the target, he ended up burying the dart into another guy’s leg.

The next ten minutes consisted of me promising him that there it wasn’t a joke and that there were no hidden cameras. It then took about thirty minutes of him sitting at the table staring at me and repeating “no way”. And then the round of twenty questions of things that only I would know. That was followed by another hour of him stopping in the middle of a sentence or doing something, looking at me and again saying “No way”.

Day Seventy-four

Today was the big day of going to my brother Jeff’s house. I decided to play it conservative. It was one thing to freak Tom out. It is another to freak out my brother and his wife and children. I ended up wearing a cute summer dress with strappy sandals that didn’t have much of a heel. I didn’t need to show off. I did make time yesterday to get a pedicure. I thought getting your hair done was fantastic? Getting a good pedicure was heavenly. And I now have pretty toes. I backed down from getting the neon pink polish. A good ‘Barbie’ polish will do well enough. As I said, I have pretty toes now.

I stopped off and picked up a bottle of wine. My sister-in-law likes wine just fine, but I figure after meeting me, she will NEED the bottle of wine. My heart fluttered a bit when I got out of my car. I straightened my skirt, grabbed my purse and the wine and knocked on the font door. My sister-in-law answered and asked if she could help me. I told her ‘yes’ that I had a dinner date with her. She looked at me strange and then I told her who it was. Her knees buckled and she had to sit down in the living room for a moment. I had to then go through the whole ‘no this is not a prank’ thing for a few minutes.

Jeff came in to check on what was happening. I greeted him with ‘Hi Jeff’. He looked at me strangely for a few moments, then asked if he knew me. When I told him that it was me, he took a seat next to his wife and I wrinkled my dress kneeling next to them making sure that they were feeling alright.

A few minutes later, we were in the kitchen. My sister-in-law finished making dinner while my Jeff poured wine. It was decided that the kids not be told right away who I was. We didn’t want to confuse them yet.

Jeff called them in and they looked at me then to their dad. He told them that I was a friend that had come for dinner. He looked to me for a name.

“Just call me Aunt Violet.” I told them.

Jeff looked questioning at me and asked me if that wasn’t the name of my lab assistant. I think he might be confused about something. I don’t have a lab assistant. He asked about my friend Violet. I don’t know who he is referring to. I work in a Nano tech lab. I should program some Nanos that might help him with his memory.

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