A few hours on a Saturday night, so what ya gonna do...
Lonely roads and lost towns. Quiet places where you can think.
Not that that necessarily gets you anywhere.
Space is what it is, as are people.
This is a work of adult fiction.
No resemblance to reality should be inferred or expected.
Copyright : KLS 2007
Escape to Yourself
By Kristina.L.S.
He really had no idea where he was and surprising as that may be to some, he welcomed it. Being nowhere was good. Every-time he was somewhere; there was trouble. It wasn't like he wanted to be a trouble magnet but that seemed to be the case. All he had to do was, be… wherever and the shit hit the fan. So he avoided people. Kept away from the mobs, anywhere that so called fellow humans gathered in any sort of number.
The heat shimmered in the distance, causing everything to dance and sway to some off time beat.
Another car; the second in… nearly an hour he thought… probably should get a watch… wizzed past; windows closed, air-conditioning on max, against the heat. Not even a turn of the head to acknowledge the upturned thumb. The lone figure out here, in the middle of wherever the hell this was, slight and carrying nothing but a small duffle. Hardly a threat, there was nowhere for a gang of accomplices to hide, but still it was a risk. I mean who wants to take a chance and invite… well whatever evil no doubt lurks in the mind of this… person. Shit, I mean who would choose to walk alone… here.
The thought intruded itself… time mattered. 'Oh please, don't start that crap again. Time, what a load of shit.' All a clock had ever meant to him was failure.~ ~You were too slow. You're late. Stop thinking, just do it like I tell you. The rules are there for a reason. Time waits for no man. Get it into gear son, clocks a tickin'. ~~ There was a whole bunch more but what difference did it make. Time and him did not get on.
For some reason he had never quite been able to explain, the question, 'Why?' always hung in the air in front of everything. Since he was old enough to ask it, it had been there. At first people where pleased or amused, 'what a delightfully precocious child'… ' if only others would ask'… But that soon changed to irritation. The smile became a frown and if only became, just do what I say.
His introspection was interrupted by a strange sound. It took him a moment to realise what it was… a car was slowing to a stop beside him. Now that was odd. Here he was hands in pockets his whole body clenched against the heat, not making any attempt to bum a ride and this lunatic… stops.
The battered old cattle truck slowed and stopped just behind him. Martha took in the slight figure that she had first thought to be a girl, but now was not sure. Why on earth would anyone be walking out here? It was miles from anywhere and you could die here within hours.
She watched as the figure took another few steps before registering that the truck had stopped. Watched as it straightened, stretched slightly and turned toward her.
She… well, she had expected a smile of gratitude. But instead she got a stare of… emptiness? Total indifference? For some reason she shivered and could not think why…except… ' Was this a man or a woman? And anyway what the hell was whoever this was doing here? '
Her eyes roamed the figure that stood, what five yards away, just looking at her. Waiting for what? A bloody invitation for Christ's sake? Shit. It was 46 fuckin degrees; enough to fry a bloody egg on the dashboard. Well come on ya daft little shit, whatever you are. Get in here out of the damn heat.
Martha rolled the window down just enough to call…"Well come on then I didn't bloody stop for the fun of it, get you're arse in here. It's fuckin' hot and I wanna get home. "
Even then the girl stood as if unsure whether she wanted to get in or stay where she was, walking out here in the desert. Christ, a nutter, just what she needed. Still couldn't leave the stupid fool out here to die.
The slight figure in faded denim jeans and shirt with a light tan cotton jacket hanging loosely on her frame stood quite still. A dusty brown leather duffle slung over the left shoulder and just as dusty and similar coloured boots pointed her way. A faded and sweat stained akubra tilted low over the eyes hid the face somewhat.
Martha decided she would make one last offer. "Well are you gonna stand out here and bake or get in… and tell me your name?", that last muttered near silently.
He stood silently appraising this woman and her offer. It was a simple human gesture of help he supposed. Yet nothing was what it seemed anymore. Everything always depended on explanations and assumptions being met or dismissed. He sighed silently, ... 'why couldn't it ever be a simple, I can take you this far and then I'm gone, no questions.' ... Well that wouldn't be human would it? People have questions and want answers. Doesn't matter at all whether you want to give them or not.
With an almost unnoticeable shrug he moved toward her and Martha suddenly had a twinge of fear. 'What the hell was she doing? Picking up… whoever this was in the middle of nowhere.'
The door opened and a soft voice…"Thanks for stopping. I figured I'd be walking all day."
She squinted a little trying to decide who she had picked up. 'Was it a girl or a guy?' Her eyes roamed up and down and her mind spun trying to make a decision.
He slammed the door not too hard and stuffing his bag between his legs turned to the woman that had called him in. The question on her face was as plain as a sign. Who or what are you? He closed his eyes and sighed softly.
Opened and looked straight at her, "Does it matter?"
She jumped as though shocked.
"What? What the hell do you mean does it matter?" 'Christ who is this and why the fuck did I stop.' Her thoughts were spinning. Maddened murderers, sex fiends, alien invaders. 'Bloody government, should keep loony's locked up instead of letting them roam wild.'
He sighed again, this time out loud.
"If you could just drop me anywhere near a town… wherever's convenient."
She looked at… her. Eyes closed and seemingly no threat. Yet, she was afraid. Martha put the truck in gear and headed toward town.
The ride of perhaps forty minutes was silent except for the whistle of the air around the truck and the quiet whir of the tyres on the road.
He stirred from a semi sleep as the truck pulled to the side or the road. Missed the first part of the woman's statement.
"…'s a nice little town. A few hundred people, easy going. Might find some work if ya's lookin'. Anyway, this is as far as I go, I'm off thataway…" she gestured with a vague arm wave. The still slightly puzzled expression on her face told him she had not made any decisions… either way. Good enough, he thought. At least he was free to go for now.
"Just a few k down the road an' ya's there. " There was a slightly hopeful expression on her face as she looked at him. Her gaze flicked up and down, trying to decide.
He nodded to her, "Thanks for the ride. I appreciate it." Climbed out grabbing his bag and softly slammed the door. Stood there as she looked at him through the glass and then without a gesture beyond a slight shake of the head, pulled out and headed away.
Martha's eye's flicked to the rearview as she pulled away. The girl just stood there looking in the direction of town. Not even glancing at the truck as it pulled away.
"Well that is something weird. Better off out of it Martha old girl." Her eyes flicked forward toward home and with them so went her thoughts.
His ears told him the truck had pulled away and once again he was alone in the wilderness. 'A few k to whereverville huh. Oh well, no better, no worse probably.'
He shifted the bag on his shoulder and pushed the hat a bit tighter on his head. 'Let's see what the future brings.'
He didn't even glance left or right, the silence told him nothing was close. Crossed the dirt verge and the strip of tar and back onto dirt and kept to the left side as he headed into…
…don't ask for answers. I probably don't have them.
Any thoughts, comments or questions
I can be contacted [email protected]
Anything short of abuse welcome.
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Comments
Interesting Vignette
It does get the mind working overtime trying to fill in the life story of our reluctant protagonist.
I don't suppose a little nudge would get you to write another chapter in his life? I'd love to read about his arrival in town and what happens next. Perhaps also, a bit (any bit, clue or snippet) of his history.
"Always leave them wanting more," is a good adage for entertainers and writers, but I'm not sure they meant THIS much more!
Like a scene out of context
My sister writes like this, in scenes, as they occur to her. I'm constantly being bombarded by bits and snippets of her stories, "How does this sound?" That's what this reminds me of, a snippet of a much larger tale.
If you feel so inclined, you should try to add more to this, it certainly seems interesting.
M
"If you are too open-minded your brain will fall out"
They know they can survive
Shivers down the spine
Dear Kristina,
Is this the same girl who once told me that my writing was 'dark'? Rather a May morning stroll through sunny, open, wild flower bedecked, pastures, compared with the bleak desolation of this landscape.
Chilling, in spite of the 46 degrees. Because of the 46 degrees?
It's beautifully written, but then I expect that from you. I keep telling myself that it is just your craftmanship, your artistry, that makes it so. Or hoping that the demons you are exorcising are now long fled.
Love,
Fleurie
For What It's Worth
Just a brief note to my fellow Americans. The 46 degrees referred to in this tale of the Australian desert is Celsius. Just to put that in perspective,
46 degrees Celsius = 114.8 degrees Fahrenheit
In other words, and as described in the story, life-threateningly hot.
Thanks Pippa
I was struggling with what to do with my 5/9ths, after I applied the 32, or was that before.
This story dragged me in and then left me wondering. . .what the hell? For once I'm in that group wanting an ending.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
outback
Kristina, you're deep. You are making me reveal more of myself than I ever wanted to, but I've been out there. I've never known anybody leave anyone in the lurch, however much of a rat they may have been in other ways. The power of your writing is that it makes me protest the thrust of this particular work of yours. Tell me it's a total work of fiction. I once got a 500 mile ride on the Milla Milla milk run standing on the side of the road, no money, no credentials, just a thanks at the end of it. I hope things haven't changed.
thank you all
I'm a little surprised at the attention for this. I wanted to write something..so I sat down about 8.30 and posted a little after 11 Sat night. Blame Erin's 'Black Spot' thing maybe. I may have left it a little more 'open' than intended though.
Thanks for the temp ref Pippa, I hadn't considered it.
As ever I suppose there is some reality in this. I've been in a similar spot and two cars did indeed wizz past. The third stopped and it was a woman with her daughter, not only did she take me to the town to get a make do part, but took me back to my car with nothing more than a smile and a thanks in return. Round trip about 60k. So while it has changed a bit Joanne, it's usually the city types will wizz by. The bushies will almost always stop and at least ask if you're ok.
As for continuing... I've been thinking on that. I may just do a how'd he get here bit. Might be a little dark though Fleurie so tread carefully.
Thank's again for the comments guys, I appreciate it. A bit after 2am Sun morn now, so I probably should get some sleep.
Kristina
open ended
I like open ended stories, including this one. Every word on the page, like every step on a trail, means ten, a hundred, directions that won't be taken. And when the writer trusts me, I can always come up with the perfect ending (for me.). ANd this time there are lots of futures. But with more or not, this gives one step into a well formed and well shown world.
Thanks, Kristina,
Jan
Hmmm....
Again, hmmm...
I have to agree; It raises a lot more questions than it answers.
In fact, did it answer any, or just leaves us with dozens.
There is room for expansion on both sides of this vignette.
The only character even named, is the secondary opne.
I assume the 'A few hours on a Saturday night, so what ya gonna do...' referred to yourself?
Holly
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
ambivalence
There's a whole school of writing like this, a few brush strokes painting a scene, vague & ethereal, setting a mood & raising lots of questions, like a chinese landscape that's more mist than features, an ending that just kinda fades. Egghead reviewers in IMPORTANT literary reviews lap this stuff up, collections get published in hardback & tradesize paperback; and this is as good as any of them. It's beautiful, Kristina...
Good internal dialogue, great character in the motorist!
My problem comes when this is ALL a writer wants to write, like some do, these volumes I find in the new books section of the library, and after 3-4 in a row I start screaming for something concrete, for somebody to say something specific, for something to goddamn HAPPEN! Luckily there's lots of stories like that here too, just a few clicks away.
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Yeah ...
That's what happens when you don't follow the rules. Eventually, people start screaming and freaking out. Yah, Ve need Order und Rules!
Just a joke, Laika. Don't bite my head off. ;)
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
brownskirts
Und vat exactly iss wrong mitt literary rules und order?
It makes za quatrains run on time! Za alternative iss
bolshevism! Und vat kind of name iss Aardvark,
anyway..............HMMMMMMMMMMM?
"Happiness is when you do what I say, Schweinhunt!!"
(with apologies to our German friend Saphira)
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Hmmmmm
Must veeee?
Fraulein Rasch
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Jawohl
Ja, ve must! Ziss is za Thousand Year Rasch!
(good for all of us that they missed it by 988 years)
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
wanderings
Afternoon from Aus. Yes, the Sat night ref was me playing writer. As has been discussed before I am not especially learned or perhaps 'well' read, so this was a bit of an experiment. I may fill in both ends... a little. But I will not put in all the colours, sort of defeats the purpose.
Thanks for the real comments.
I could really have done without the Nazi refs though. I am NOT a fan. Yes I know it was a joke, still.
Well I'll see how I go, might try a bit later today.
Kristina
deepest apologies
Oh my God Kristina, I am so sorry!
When Aardvark implied that I was a tyrant,
employing a German accent, it really hurt.
And I was going to say as much, but this
seemed kind of thin-skinned, so I made a
joke of it. And then it lapsed into punning
about this dispicable subject matter,
this nightmare of a belief system.
Maybe I shouldn't be allowed
out among regular people...
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
no harm
Not really a problem Laika. No one person at fault here, just not a good subject for jokes. Quite apart from the horrors perpetrated on millions, there is the offshoots still running and the deny it all crowd.
Humour can and should poke holes in everything, but it is a very subjective area. I understand where each was coming from here I believe and it's ok. Just not one of my favourite topics.
Kristina
Taking offense.
You're taking offense when none was meant or implied. My comment was an obvious continuation of a recent forum about the "rules," that you and I have participated in, which has become a sort of running joke. To make it absolutely clear in the comment, I even said it was a joke. Order and discipline (Alles in Ordnung?") is a (mostly correct) German national trait that is oft-ridiculed but also well-respected, and everyone knows that.
So how did you get "Aardvark implied that I was a tyrant" out of my innocent little remark?
This is not an apology, but an explanation that I'm wondering why I should have to make.
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
stupid again
I'm really making a mess of things here. I was describing my own neurotic thought processes that led me to start joking like that. Saying "Aardvark implied" rather than "I PERCEIVED an implication" was a poor choice of words, but I was rushing to apologize to Kristina for my offensive attempt at humor. I blame no one but myself for any of this. I feel like such an asshole sometimes...
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
No apology necessary
Laika, don't worry about it. I understand where you're coming from. You're certainly not a (fill in the blank) for trying to smooth things over and I never considered you anything but a nice person. Due to an earlier incident or two, I'm just a bit sensitive on the subject of PC lately, and maybe would have been better off sending a PM or starting a blog on it (which I started but deleted).
People who know me well know that I have an aversion to censorship, and PC, which I consider to be an insidious subset of it. I understand the need to be polite, but there is a line somewhere, and one shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and duck, bob, and weave in regular comments. Some people are deliberately offensive, certainly, and misunderstandings are certainly possible -- I've been guilty of it myself -- but sometimes....
:)
Regards,
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
Escape To Yourself
I think we're cool. It was a good story though, wasn't it?
(I SWEAR, I'LL NEVER HOG A COMMENTS SECTION
LIKE THIS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Hmm ...
The Thousand Year Reich was something that never came to pass (obviously), the reference to it was labeled a joke, and wasn't addressed to you, or had anything to with your story. In the context Laika used it, the continuation of a joke about order that three people used, I don't see the problem with it. I see Nazi jokes on reruns of "Hogan's Heroes" all the time. What exactly is your objection to the use of the term? Are you offended by references to: Nazi, Hitler, Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Castro, Che Guevera, the USSR, Red China, Yassir Arafat, Osama Bin Laden, or Al Qaeda, all mass murderers, or countries or organizations that have committed mass murder and oppressed millions of people?
I'm not. I've heard jokes about them all and have not been offended yet. Am I wrong? Should I be offended?
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
Off course comments
Need I explain myself? Well ok, all the people or groups you mention have and perhaps will perpetrate(d) horrors. I have a more personal dislike of Nazis and related groups. Note, I do not have a problem with Germans.
My Aunt was married to a Czeck that survived and escaped. He had a few 'fun'tales to tell. My original name came from an uncle that died in a bomber over Europe in the early 40's. I remember being reduced to tears as I was shown a long slide show belonging to my Aunt taken in the late 40's in and around the Polish death camps. Finally as a kid in the late 70's I had the crap kicked out of me at a suburban cricket match on a sunny Sunday afternoon by a gang of about 10 Nazi bedecked skinheads while my two friends and about a hundred others watched. I do not like Nazis and I wonder what the hell any of that had to do with this little tale.
Humour is a good thing it can break tension and ease grief. I can smile at all sorts of things that some might find in poor taste, that's well and good. I just was not amused at the meaningless semi-comments here. Call me thin skinned.
No doubt there are those here that have far more claim to dislike than me, it's just one of my buttons so to speak.
So let's leave it there shall we??
Kristina
Not a Problem ...
... Aardvark says, backing away slowly. :)
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
I like vague
Since this story is here, we read it assuming the traveler who Martha sees as female but the narrator sees as male is some sort of TG person.
I find it interesting that the way the story is written it works both if you see the traveler as a female heart in a male body and if you see a male heart in a female body. It seems appropriately ambiguous.
it happens
Comment strings start and get carried away on emotion, it happens. I have no fight with anyone here and no apologies are needed. As ever take Erins intro note about thinking before commenting. None of us are perfect and we all have Hot buttons. But do try to make comments relevant to the story. You don't have to like it, it's ok to ask questions, in fact I welcome them. But try not to wander too far from home huh.
Erin did in fact ask if I wanted any of these comments deleted. I asked her to let them stand so people can read and see. None of us are perfect and this can and will happen.
Um, that said if anyone has an actual comment...please do.
Kristina
cool
I was going to let Kristina's comment stand, but guys, we nearly had a war here, and as good as Kristina's stuff is, it does not warrant a war (sorry Kristina). I was upset by part of the content that implied that outback Australians would leave someone on the side
of the road in 46C heat (and you have to have been there to know what that's like), but,hey, it's a story. I could write a story with a totally abhorrent POV (I probably have).I love the involvement here. This is a great site. But keep cool, huh?
Oh for gosh sakes!!
It's not like anyone called anyone nappy-headed whores or anything. Didn't anyone here laugh at "The Producers"?
Hitler's regime wasn't funny, but there are a million things about Hitler that are funny. Laika's pun about making the quatrains run on time was a jewel.
The discussion about whether or not rules are necessary or important in writing is valid here - in this thread. Kristina's story pushed several parts of the envelope. Laika tried to make a point with a reference to Teutonic love of order. It was humor - in response to humor. With my additional humorous response to humor. Humor is based on walking a PC edge. Nobody involved in this discussion has a high regard for the Nazis or their doctrines.
I DO NOT APOLOGIZE for my part in this as it clearly wasn't meant as an endorsement of Nazi Germany or skinheads. In fact -- I'm insulted by Erin's offer to delete my post - if that offer was made.
There is a limit to what should be posted here and what should be un-posted.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Tales out of school?
Erin has more than once made it clear that the story is the writers. If a comment causes hurt or offence to the writer any comment may be deleted.
I made it clear above I was not really offended and I knew it was all in jest, but I did not especially like it attached to my little tale. A slight overreaction on my part perhaps but Erin did offer. She personally may not have considered it necessary, but if I was upset as the author she would have. It is not a big deal but as I stated, one of my buttons.
I would be seriously surprised if anyone here had any sort of pro nazi stance. In another situation I could and might smile at a Hitler parody or whatever. Just not in my house if you see what I mean. I'm not much of a fan of PC either.
Kristina
Twilight Zone ?
I feel the youngsters' pain more than I sense any danger from her. Keep on going with it.
Gwenellen
What a incredible start of
What a incredible start of your story.
This one is lovely,
The language though?
It seems like ah :) 'Proper English' like the Queens English?
But the landscape seems a desert, sort of America.
Or is it just my imagination?
Well I do have one somewhere, or is it two?
Anyway, if this story holds to what it started it's gonna be a favorite of mine.
Yep.
Awh! Australia?
Is it :)
. . . . . . Cool.
But hot...
Yoron.