Under Heaven, Over Hell-4 by Lynceus Act Five begins, as Anson starts to find out exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes...

Act Five: Ronin

I opened my eyes. Everything around me was a grey mist, and I couldn't even see the ground clearly. I was standing, which was odd- I typically don't go to sleep standing up. I was also a guy again. And naked.

I didn't see any sign of the girls, either. Something told me that this wasn't one of their dreams. It certainly wasn't my dream either!

Very perceptive of you. The voice seemed to come from nowhere in particular. It was male, and didn't sound familiar. Whoever it was sounded awfully satisfied with themselves.

Do I? I never really noticed. I suppose, given our relative positions, I probably do come off as a bit arrogant.

“The telepathy thing doesn't help much, either. Where am I?”

You have been diverted. Well, whoever it was, they had apparently read Douglas Adams. How bad could they be?

You'd be surprised, Anson. However, it's true that I hold no malice towards you. I simply cannot allow Raziel's current plan to succeed.

I shivered. I'd like to say because I was cold, but the truth is- there was something creepy about the way he/it said that. “Why? I just want to help!”

I guess it can't hurt to explain. Your two friends, as you may have already surmised, are not ordinary girls. Individually, they are the culmination of centuries, if not millenia, of careful planning.

“Planning? For what?”

To replace God, of course.

I felt my throat tighten, and I swallowed. Hard. “Replace God? Are you for real?”

I never said I thought much of the plan, but that's basically what it boils down to. The One has long given humanity the freedom to create their own gods, after all. It was inevitable that someone would realize that fact, and attempt to subvert the process for their own purposes. It's no simple task, of course. Eugenics, adherence to prophecies- there's a lot involved. Too much work, for my tastes, but I have to give them credit- they've come a long way.

“So...Elisa and Celene are...”

Part of a conspiracy...well, two different conspiracies, to be precise, that go back a very long time. The culmination of which will be to create the Kwisatz Haderach.

A Dune reference, this time? Jesus.

No, not Christ. Anti-Christ. Just as Christ came from God, Anti-God will come from Anti-Christ. The Queen of the World shall rise, and through her, shall come the downfall of God. At least, that's the plan.

“So what do I have to do with that?”

Nothing. Worse than nothing, actually- you've caused a lot of trouble, due to your mere existence. Believe it or not, as closely monitored as both girls are, it took some time before the truth was known. That they are, in essence, the result of divergent paths. By all rights, they should be enemies, but they aren't. Mostly because of you. Removing you from the equation had to be performed with some delicacy, of course. Which was horribly botched-up, I might add.

“They didn't know I was half-Angel?”

I should say not! Raziel covered his tracks well. Mind you, placing the operation in the hands of zealots wasn't a good idea either- they got entirely too carried away, which simply aggravated the situation. Both girls ended up somewhat traumatized by the whole affair. The plan simply won't work, you see, if they are aware that they are being manipulated. Yes, they are both aware that they aren't quite normal- Celene, in particular, is quite the budding sorceress- but the truth would probably break them. You would lead them to that truth. So you simply have to be removed.

“You're going to kill me, then?”

There's really no need. You're trapped here, like a fly in amber. By the time Raziel finds you- if he ever does- you won't be a problem any longer. I find death to be wasteful- you may yet have a role to play.

“Whose side are you on, anyways?” I had to keep him/it talking. Maybe he'd drop a clue, or...

Give you a way out? I'm sorry, Anson, I really am. You're simply out of your league. To answer your question, however, I'm on my own side. Both Elisa's backers, and Celene's, believe I am an ally. I've considered the end result of their actions, and I have a better use for the girls. To further my own ambition. And now I have more important work at hand, so I'm afraid this is good-bye, for now.

“Wait! Don't leave!”

End of line.

And I was alone.

-o-

It felt like I'd spent days, in that place. I tried walking in one direction, but I didn't find anything. No people. No structures. Nothing. Finally, I fell to the ground, exhausted.

And I cried. Somehow, this was even worse than going to Hell had been. I cried out for Father...even for Luci, but no one came. I could literally feel my sanity slipping away. I wished I was dead.

“Goodness! You really did get yourself lost, didn't you?”

I turned, and there, standing a few feet away from me, was Sophia, umbrella and all! I had gone crazy- there was no way she could be here!

She moved to sit next to me. “I'm really here, Anson. Honest. I don't lie. Well, to be honest, I can't lie. I can mislead people, I can hold back information, but I am, essentially, Truth itself.”

“Who are you? I mean, who are you really?”

She grinned up at me. “You know.”

I moved away from her. “Oh my God.”

“Anson...you don't need to be afraid of me.”

Somehow, I just knew it. Knew it right down to the core of my being. I was in the presence of God. The God who created the screwed-up universe. Created my Dad. Why the Supreme Being chose to look like a cute little girl was beyond me, but I was terrified of her.

Even though she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

“Anson. Please...I know why you're afraid, even if you don't. Just...please, listen. Please?”

The idea that God was pleading with me was totally ludicrous. I mean, she could make me listen, right?

She shook her head. “Free will is the hardest concept to explain, even to someone who possesses it. Believe me, I wish I could make people listen. It would make things so much easier. People, even Angels, to be honest, tend to hear what they want to hear. It's frustrating in ways you cannot even comprehend. And, um, would you mind terribly if I put some clothes on you?”

I just stared at her. “Me being naked bothers you?”

She giggled a little at that. “Of course not! Well, maybe a little. One can't take the form of a little girl without inheriting certain sensibilities. I think it would make you more comfortable, however.”

I conceded she had a point. “Please, then.”

She nodded and suddenly I was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt, as if I'd always been wearing them. “Almost put you in a dress, that might have been counter-productive. It's disturbing to see you in this form again, although I suppose you wouldn't agree.”

“Uh...well of course I wouldn't, I'm a guy!”

She patted the ground next to her. “Sit, Anson. I have some metaphysical things to explain to you. Honestly, I hate dumping exposition on people, but my usual methods aren't going to work here.”

“Dad said you liked to dream up ways to make things overly complicated.”

She laughed, and I couldn't resist smiling myself. “Raziel? Saying I make things overly complicated? Now if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.” She shook her head. “You know when religious people say that there's a reason behind everything I do, even if people can't understand it? That's actually true, even though a lot of what they say is, excuse my language, bullshit. Don't let me get started, I could rant for centuries about all the ways humans get things wrong!”

I sat down, facing her. “I could...well ok, I guess I couldn't imagine. You're not what I was expecting, either.”

“Well, that's kind of the point. To be honest, even most Angels believe that I'm incapable of interacting directly with humans. Er, the opposite of that, actually. In ancient times, humans believed that looking upon a god would cause you to die outright.”

“I'm glad that's not true. I've been dead, it wasn't much fun.”

She reached out and patted me on the cheek. “I know, dear, I know. The truth is, my true form is kind of hard to take in. It would probably drive most people insane. What you see now is only a small part of what I am, by necessity.”

“Necessity? I don't understand any of this. I'm half-Angel, God is a little girl, and my best friends are supposed to be something out of The Omen. Or Dune. Or something!” I was, to be honest, getting a little exasperated by this point. I still wasn't sure that I hadn't gone mad, either.

“Shh. Stay calm. First, let me start by apologizing. You know when people blame God for all their problems? In a way, they have a point. All of existence, such as it is, is my fault. What's worse is, I've kind of let things get out of hand, and I'm not even sure how to fix things anymore.”

“You're not going to...destroy the world?!”

Her eyes got wide. “What?! No! Of course not! That's the last thing I want to do!”

I let out a breath. “Sorry, it's just, everyone is always saying...”

She poked me in the arm with her finger. “Ok, Anson? Forget all that. Nobody knows what's going on in my mind except me. People can guess, but most of the time, they're wrong. I like humans. I really do. I want you to thrive, and succeed as a species. As much trouble as you are, I can't help but love you. You're crazy, mixed-up, and horribly flawed- but you have so much potential. Keeping you from destroying one another has been quite a hassle, but one I feel is worth it.”

“You keep calling me a human. But I'm not, not really.”

She shrugged. “Humanity is a state of mind, more than anything. You still think of yourself as a human, so you are one. If you thought of yourself as an Angel, you wouldn't be stuck here.”

“So it's bad to think of myself as a human?”

In response, God Herself literally slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Oy vey. Anson, you're way too literal. Of course there's nothing wrong with being human. Your human side has a lot of nice qualities. But that's not the whole story, and until you accept both sides of yourself, you're holding yourself back. Putting limits on yourself where none need to be. Which is the scary part about the Nephilim.”

I shivered as she said that word. I don't know why. She looked at me, and sighed.

“I guess we'll start with that. I knew there was a possibility that Angels could figure out how to procreate. I just didn't think it there was a high probability of it happening- Angels are a higher lifeform, and a lot of them are kind of smug about it. Here's something to mull over- I am all-knowing, but that doesn't make me infallible.

As humans have just begun to figure out, nothing is truly static in the universe. Everything is a matter of probability. Sadly, Einstein was wrong- I do play dice with the universe. Except, well, I'm the house, and everyone knows that, in the long run, the house always wins, because the house sets the odds.

Every so often, though, something that really shouldn't happen, does anyways. A lot of the times, a human is involved. Which is my own fault, since I gave you the ability to cheat. I just didn't tell you that you could.”

“Like magic. Dad said it's sort of like cheat codes.” I was having a hard time keeping up with what she was saying, but that part I kind of got.

“Yes, that's a very good example. The ways to cheat are built into the system. I told the Angels how to do it, but I wanted to see if humans could figure it out on their own. That experiment failed horribly.” She sighed again.

“I'm sorry.”

“Well it's not your fault. Technically, it's your father's fault, he was the one who taught humans magic in the first place.”

“Oh. Uh. Sorry?” I couldn't help myself- someone had to apologize for Dad!

Sophia just gave me an odd look, then shrugged. “Anyways, a lot of times, I know what's going to happen before it does, but not always when. I knew Lucifer would eventually turn on me, it was in his nature. I just didn't know that it would happen as soon as it did, which caused a lot of grief. For both of us.”

“Wait, you knew Luci would turn on you? Wait, that sounds stupid.” I really did feel like an idiot!

“No, it's not stupid. Lucifer turned on me because I created him with the ability to do so. Actually all the Angels can, to an extent. I didn't precisely give them Free Will, but, well, you know those Sci Fi stories where a computer goes nuts because it's forced to act against it's programming? It's like that.”

“So Luci is like, uh, Hal 9000?” That didn't sound right, but...

“Mm. More like the computer from Portal. Anyways, yes, I wanted Angels to have the ability to break their programming just in case something went horribly wrong with my plan.”

I thought about that for a few minutes. “What could go so wrong that you'd need Angels to rebel against you?”

“You really want to know?”

“I'm going to regret this, aren't I? But..yeah, I need to know.”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, you do. Angels can rebel as a failsafe in case I go crazy and decide to do something rash, like destroy all of Creation.”

“What?!” I was right. I didn't want to know!

“I understand the Universe implicitly- I created it, after all. But the thing I understand the least is myself. I can't tell you why or how I came into being. I just did. I wasn't. And then I was, because I wanted to exist. It's a paradox, and it's the foundation of, well, everything! Something that doesn't exist can will itself into existence. I've watched it happen- and I still can't explain how it works.”

“Like with Ishtar.”

“Ah, Raziel told you that story. Yes. I tried so hard with her. With all of them, really. The other gods. I mean, they were like me! I had so much to teach them...”

I felt the need to give God a hug. So I did. She leaned into my embrace, and I held her, the pinnacle of Creation, for a long time.

I spoke first. “I'm afraid of being alone too.”

“That's not your fear, Anson. It's my fear. Hard-coded into the Universe. I can only Create in my own image. That's what this has all been about. I couldn't Create another God, because, well, it'd just be another me.”

I thought about that. And then I came to a realization. “So that's what you...that's what Sophia is?”

She nodded. “I tried to Create another God...and I got more of Me instead. I don't know that you can really understand what that's like- it'd be as if you wished another arm into existence. It wasn't there before, but then, poof! You have another arm.”

“I think I could live without that.”

“Hm. I bet. So that's the grand experiment in a nutshell. The crazy, mixed-up Universe. It exists in the vain hope that something will be Created that I wasn't directly responsible for. So that...I won't be alone. I mean, I'm not really alone. And yet I am, because there's nothing else quite like me. The other gods are close, but once they realize I exist, and the reasons why they exist...they have a hard time handling the truth. They reject me, and I...I give them their space.”

“This is a lot to take in. I...I'm sorry, I know you want to tell me something, but...”

“I know. You need time. I don't know how much time you'll have, though. Events are unfolding that I can't stop. Well, that's not true. I could stop them, but things would probably get worse, in the long run. There's a war brewing, Anson. The biggest war there ever could be. Heaven, Hell, Earth...there's nothing that won't be touched by it. And if I act directly to put a stop to it, it could end everything. I don't want that. Which is where you come in. I don't want to put that burden on you. I wish I didn't have to. I didn't chose you, Anson. The Universe did.”

She got up on her knees and kissed my forehead. “But you need time. So go back to sleep. You won't remember this conversation until we meet again. What you've learned will come back to you, but you won't think it came from me.”

I wanted to say something...but...suddenly I was very tired and...

I was asleep again.

-o-