REWRITE
Furst struggled against the bonds that the mage before him had woven around his frame. “Chiao! I thought out of all the councilors you would be the least apposed to joining us. We are achieving something you have been screaming about!” He continued to struggle until the magic that had woven itself around him dissipated. “Saving the future. The non-magic people don’t care about their children born with magic, in fact they see them as a curse. You and I know that!”
“My name is Kao, and unfortunately for you and I, only I decided to follow the rules!” Kao said pulling a raw stream of magical energy from the ambient powers in the air around them and forming it into a rough arrow shape. “I won’t be swayed, even if I have to scream ‘till I collapse to be heard, I WILL follow protocol. You are just following your brother’s shadow.”
“My brother’s shadow?” Furst questioned looking at the young mage who at that very moment was channeling even more raw magical energy into the ‘arrow’ with what looked like some sort of exotic dance. her weapons of choice only accentuated the movements, razor-bladed fans depicting a mountain shrouded with clouds. “He is dead, has been dead and as far as I am concerned, I am happy that he will remain dead.”
“Heartless. You stopped loving your only brother? I thought that he was the only thing keeping you alive.” Kao said with a smirk, launching the bundle of energy at Furst. "I mean he was tall, strong and intelligent. He must have gotten all of the manly genes in the family. Where as you were left with a slender frame, and left short in both height and temper."
"Kao, I don't care how much you spout about him, but I won't tolerate you insulting me like that!" Furst said drawing raw energy straight from his very core. Instead of relying on a limited supply of energy that could have been found in the air around them.
“Furst, I know it hurts, but if you just stay with the council we can sort it out. We might be low-councilors considering we are just out of the magical academy.” Kao said. “But if we stick with it in a couple of --” She was interrupted by a bolt of energy searing through the extra cloth on her left sleeve.
“So what we can wait to grow old? Let the children like you and me get beaten? Possibly killed so we can follow a set of rules set down by a bunch of dress wearing geezers that died long before the new old dress wearing geezers became the new old dress wearing geezers!?” Furst yelled. “I won’t sit back and watch that happen!” Furst pulled even more raw talent forward, and because he wasn't shaping it in anyway it began to orbit around him forming a tight ring.
"What are you doing!?" Kao said watching him build up energy. "You idiot! that is dangerous! shapeless energy can do almost anything if you don't give it any direction!"
"SHUT UP!" Furst roared striking the ground splintering it like balsa wood. As the ground fractured toward Kao, she tried to run away only to trip over a boulder and fall into one of the newly opened fissures. She grasped at the edge, her hands shaking. she knew she couldn't hold on for long.
Tears were streaming down her’s face as she screamed to Furst who was slowly walking toward her. “My palms! Furst quickly, pull me up!” She screamed panicking.
Furst leaped across a gap and landed a few feet in front of her. He walked forward and looked down at her, stared at her eyes, and stomped on her fingers. “I always thought that your temper would get the better of you. I was right, I am ALWAYS right.”
He laughed coldy to himself as she fell.
---=== Three weeks later ===---
Furst sat in the courtroom. the past week was hell while he was detained and a magic-suppression collar was put on him. He felt no remorse for his actions as he sat there on the bench. “Ladies and gentlemen of the court you heard it yourselves. This man was provoked by the councilor into a fight. She knew the risks of initiating the duel with him.” Darrian said looking at the juror’s box. His shoulder length black hair tied into a short ponytail, and the suit not hiding that even for a lawyer was physically fit.
“Is that all?” One of the three judges asked Darrian. “Does the defense rest?" The overweight and balding judge asked, looking over to the prosecution.
“The defense rests.” Darrian said looking at Furst with a ‘If you make it out of this I will kill you myself’ look
A man strode forward in a Councilor’s robe. “the prosecution would like to bring forward the argument that Furst Grandfield, a graduate of the Mage Academy of Rularia. Has the preferred school of Battle-Prophetry." the Councilor stopped, and used magic to retrieve a glass of water off his courtroom desk.
"Councilor, No matter how high ranking you are in the council, acts of magic are banned in the courtroom, that is your first and last warning." The Second Judge said glaring at him.
The councilor ignored the reprimand and continued without so much as a missed beat. "He saw exactly how the fight was going to happen, he knew exactly when to release his raw talent to create the catastrophe that led to the death of low councilor Kao, and because of that,you, members of the jury have no choice but to condemn this criminal to the fate he condemned his fellow recent graduate Kao to. “ The man said with dignity. “ to death.”
Furst sat listening to the man tell the jury his side of the story, and the more he listened the angrier he got. He slowly began to draw small amounts of raw energy into a ball. “And it was in cold blood that he did it! That monster murdered Councilor Kao!” The man said pointing with his left hand, the fabric on his robe flapping wildly.
“That is it!” Furst said standing up out of his seat and launching the burst of raw magical energy in the man’s direction. “I didn’t kill her! She merely fell with the aid of my boot!” He screamed as the energy shot through his glass of water, his sleeve and ruined a tile on the floor behind the man.
“Guards you saw it for yourselves, the man tried to kill me. Restrain him! And Jury, if that wasn’t a admission of guilt I don’t know what is!”
“Enough.” One of the judges said. “We, the High-Court judges won’t take such business in our court. Guards both men will be found in contempt of court if they continue this behavior.” the Judge thought for a moment before whispering with the two next to her. “Guards court is adjourned for today. Escort both men to their respected places until tomorrow.”
Furst found himself back in the holding cell that he’d been occupying for the last four days. his sheets were still the same, torn, patched, and bloodied as they had been the first day he had been 'escorted' in. The guard on duty had confiscated his hand-staff, Furst's weapon of choice aptly named for its length, too long to be a wand, too short to be a quarter staff. So he didn’t have that as an option of escape and a raw surge of energy wasn’t going to break down the thick bars of the holding cell's door.
Darrian came to greet him later on that day as boredom was getting to be too much for the contained Furst. “Well. Now You’ve done it.” he said as he walked past the guard who looked away as he entered. “The Jury believes because of your outburst that you are in fact guilty.”
“Let them believe what ever they want.” Furst said. “I know that I am guilty, I know that killed her, and I know that the lady judge, the middle one, knows that I am as well.” He smiled putting his hand through the bars. “I thank you for everything you have done, also I was wondering...”
“The troops are stationed outside the city, because the trial security is tight.” Darrian said taking his hand and giving it a hard shake. “The people don’t suspect that the trading caravan stationed outside town will work as a high-speed get away caravan as soon as the verdict is called and you are released.”
“Now tell me again...why would I need a get away caravan?” Furst said looking confused as he drew his hand back into the cell. “Because if I do manage to go free I would bed dealing with a lynch mob trying to kill me? Or is it because if the trial is going to go how I think it is going to go we will have to make a get away?”
“Both, either, now please keep quiet, any more slips, and fighting like that could push the already biased jury over the edge.” Darrian said. “But, on a different note, I believe you will also be setting a legal precedent for the council. I must admit this is an interesting case from a legal standpoint.”
“Whatever. I don’t need to listen to anymore of your legal babble.” Furst said examining the toilet, a clay chamberpot left close to the sink.
“Just play nice and then we can make a stop at the ‘Leapin’ pony.’ before jetting out of here.” Darrian said waving to him as he left.
“The man is dangerous, a threat, and needs to be eliminated as soon as possible.” The First judge said wiping sweat from his bald dome of a head with a kerchief. His second chin wobbling with every word he pronounced. “ I don’t think keeping him alive any longer would serve a greater purpose.”
“I think Furst is a greater asset then you would like to believe. Did you not notice in the courtroom? He used raw talent...” The younger of the two male councilor said, his left sleeve flapping wildly as he talked with his hands before he was interrupted.
“Yes, heaven forbid the mage be able to use raw talent.” The First Judge said resorting to wiping his head with his left sleeve, because the kerchief was using earlier was soaked. "He is a heathen and deserves his just desserts. As soon as he gets his I can go home and enjoy mine."
“I think what Zander is trying to tell you is that Furst used his talent while under a magical-suppression collar. He has done the formerly thought impossible. The Magic academia originally believed that someone would have to have almost god-like levels of raw talent just to release a fraction of what Furst launched at Geoffry in the courtroom.” Judge Sysen said, looking at the two arguing councilors.
“Oh.” The First Judge said, coming to a full understanding. “Dear Lords and Ladies, we need to keep him alive at all costs.”
“And I have an Idea.” Zander said, grinning. “However our little hellion won’t like the idea at all.”
---===---
“After extensive mediation, We, the Grand Judges of the High Council, have ruled that the defendant, Furst Grandfield, is in fact,” The bailiff said pausing just to watch Furst sweat. He continued to stay quiet, letting the tension in the air thicken until it seemed like everyone was holding their breath. “Guilty.”
Furst nodded to Darrian who walked out into the hall. “ Two options have been brought forth for the condemned.” The bailiff continued. He cleared his throat looking at Furst who was now sweating musket-balls. “ Death Penalty, to be flogged, and stocked. Publicly humiliated before you will be hung in Rularia Square.”
“Yes!” Geoffry screamed gleefully. “The Murderer will be murdered in front of EVERYONE!”
“Prosecution, another outburst and you will be found in contempt of court and will face legal repercussions.” Judge Sysen said pointing her gavel at him.
“Or, option two, Furst will remain alive. Under strict watch, his identity will be altered to fit among the women’s side of the Council where he will take the empty seat of Councilor Kao as a way to--”
“No way in the nine hells!” Both Furst and Geoffry said in unison. “ I refuse!”
“I can’t allow this murderer to get off scot-free AND take a place on the council!” Geoffry roared. “This is a travesty to what ‘Justice’ really is!”
“Guards, Get the prosecutor out of this courtroom, he will be held in a holding cell until he pays all fines for his crime and faces a stripping of rank in the council!” First judge said.
“Don’t Ignore me!” Furst screamed. “I won’t allow this!” He roared the energy he was pulling forward was becoming more and more focused with each passing second. what before was a watermelon sized blob of raw talent was now a spear of energy that came to a pin-point tip. He pointed it first and the bailiff before turning to the Judges. “If you think I will just allow you to kill or feminize me, you are gravely mistaken.”
“Guards, Magic Dispersion field. NOW!” The First judge yelled rubbing at his bald head. “Get the professionals in to restrain this maniac.”
“No! I won’t let you get away that easil---” Furst was in the middle of the throw when one of the guard’s truncheon found it way to the back of his head.
Furst’s consciousness returned slowly, his head swam as he was greeted by a new set of bars. He felt around his neck greeted by not the single collar that had been placed around his neck but a second collar. As he sat in the cell it was then that he heard it. A slow and steady laugh growing louder.
“My my my. If I were you I would have hoped that old Gib’s trunch split my head open, instead you survived and the Council took the liberty to decide your fate for you, and you won’t be pleased.” The guard outside the cell said twirling Furst’s hand-staff deftly.
“Since I am here and not comfortably in the back of a rapidly moving caravan, I guess that means the absolute worst has happened...” Furst said looking up at the guard. “So when is my Execution date?”
The guard just laughed at this. “Who ever said the council decided you would be executed?”
Darrain sat in the back of the first Caravan wagon. “Furst I am sorry.” He said out loud. “The Courtroom was impossible to get back into once I left.” He laughed. “How much trouble did you cause while I was gone?”
A young man slept nearby. Darrian quickly noticed him out of the rest because of his appearance. The other young men seemed to wear their dirt and grime with pride where as this young man was well washed and seemed to be quite a contrast to the others. “Crau, what school is this young man?”
“Brother, don’t you know that referring to branches of magic as schools is archaic? Anyway, his branch is Non-combat, he is a Medic-Mage.” She said. “He is an angel. He heals the incoming sick and beaten and makes sure that they are properly clothed and fed.”
“What is his name?” Darrian asked reaching into his nearby pack to fish out a leather-bound book. “I think I know enough magical first-aid to teach him a little.” he continued to search the backpack until he removed a quill and small glass jar of ink.
“Sorry to tell you, but with his level of skill he could easily teach YOU a thing or two about first-aid of both the magical and non-magical variety.” The woman said. “The boy even weaves his own bandages.”
“Interesting. However you still haven’t told me his name.” Darrian said scribbling hurridly on a blank page.
“Why don’t you just ask him? He isn’t sleeping. “ Crau said looking back from the driver’s seat of the caravan cart to smile impishly at her older brother.
Darrian quickly looked over to see the young man sitting up, a large smile on his face. “My name is Grey, nice to meet you Commander.” Darrian quickly looked over the young man. His short, dark blonde hair kept nicely. However where his hygiene was phenomenal his clothes were lacking. Darrian noticed that both his knees and elbows were patched with what appeared to be several layers of patches. Grey’s pants, even while he was sitting, were above his ankles.
“Nice to meet you Grey, I am Darrian, and I guess while we work on getting Furst back I am a temporary commander.” He said said placing his hand on his chin while he thought about the exact meaning of commander.
“Well ‘Commander’, it seems we have hit a roadblock” Crau said, throwing her black hair over her shoulder to glance at her older brother. “It seems the Council knows we have been on the move.” she said “And I don’t think they want to be first in line to trade with the merchants.” She added sarcastically.
“Listen you shaved ape. I want details. What do you mean the council didn’t decide to have me executed? Do you mean to tell me that they picked the alternative for me?” Furst said shoving his fist through the cell bars. “IF that is the case....Get your armored ass over here so I can kick it.”
“temper temper. I don’t think kicking my ass will save yours anytime soon, besides the council sent their ‘best’ to take you into custody my friend.” he said even with the helmet obscuring his eyes Furst could tell that the guard was glaring at him.
“Wipe that goofy grin off your face.” Furst said. “I am glad I can’t see ALL of your fool face otherwise it would just make me more mad.”
The guard’s smile soured and he gritted his teeth out of anger. He stomped over to the cell and shoved the butt of his spear into Furst’s stomach. “Shut it murderer.” He said returning to his post, leaving Furst alone as the guard walked through another set of doors taking the only lantern with him.
Furst sat in the darkness for a few seconds before drawing forth a marble sized ball of talent that mimicked the lantern that the guard had taken with him. “Damn it.” Furst thought to himself kicking the chamberpot into the corner, he then thanked the lords and ladies that it was empty. “That is exactly what got me into this mess. Impulsivity, is that even a word?”
he looked at the ‘sink’, a metal bucket that hung from a nail. It was filled with water that was more akin to gravy. He spotted the two collars in the mirror and quickly felt them, nothing but seamless cold metal. “Well It was easy to out-talent the first one, but this one,” He lifted the second to find it loose, but not enough to get it to come off. “really does prevent me from mustering almost any talent.” he thought looking down at the dwindling glowing marble that had slowly diwndled to the size of a pea.
Furst closed his eyes, everything that had happened over the past few weeks weighing heavily on his soul. he bowed his head, and pushed all the thoughts out of his mind. As he lost focus of everything, a set of new, and slightly blurry images came into focus in his mind’s eye theatre, it was just snippets of future events. A continuously growing group of Non-magicians armed with shovels, pitch-forks, torches, and muskets marching toward every major village and trading city. Council Battle-mages posed on every Rularian city battlement slinging fireballs, spears of rock and ice, and summoning infernal beasts from dark portals.
When Furst opened his eyes back up, he realized he was screaming and was greeted by the sight of four women in red battle-mage leathers. “Screaming quite loudly there. Did you foresee us?” The leader said twirling his hand-staff. “Because whatever you just saw, we will make sure that it will be a lot worse.”
“You have no idea how bad it really is.” Furst said as he tried to draw what little talent he could only to find that the foreseeing he had done had drawn the last that he had for a while. If he even had a sliver of talent left the woman standing in front of his cell would have found a lovely pea-sized burn on her face.
"Well girls, It seems we don't know just how bad it really is. However our little blonde cutie in the cell will learn quickly as soon as we get him back to the tower and begin our work." She said.
Hello Everyone! this is a re-write to RWDWP, the first story I posted on BCTS. I was originally going to call it Real Wizards Don't Wear Pants REBIRTH, but I don't think the title needs to be changed. :P besides if I ever get to the point of completing this it might be a viable sequel title.
I hope everyone enjoys! Read and Comment Please, your feedback is the only pay I get for writing!
Comments
Whats really happening?
So is he forseeing the future and nobody else agrees with what he sees and so he's trying to do things his own way?
Is that what I'm seeing so far, or am I misinterpreting the story?
Real Wizards Don't Wear Pants -1-
Very cool story.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Nice to see this one again, hope you will complete it this time
Did have one confusing passage though.
I quote.
>>
Darrain sat in the back of the first Caravan wagon. “Furst I am sorry.†He said out loud. “The Courtroom was impossible to get back into once I left.†He laughed. “How much trouble did you cause while I was gone?â€
A young man slept nearby. Darrian quickly noticed him out of the rest because of his appearance. The other young men seemed to wear their dirt and grime with pride where as this young man was well washed and seemed to be quite a contrast to the others. “Crau, what school is this young man?â€
>>
But in the next scene Furst is still in jail. Or is this in the future? Or is Furst the family name and there are more Fursts than just the two brothers?
PLOT SPOILERS!!
Otherwise nice reworking. Forget why they sent a fellow low level mage after him or is that explained later in the tale? And why did he kill her? I got the impression they might once have been friends. But clearly she aligned with the old school, the powers that be and he with his vision realized that path led to death and disaster. Why the argument over names as they fought? Is or was that significant? Liked how even among the top wizards there is disagreement.. The prosecutor is eager to chop heads yet the one judge sees there is a potential for greatness in Furst if only they can find a way out of this mess legally.
So many ways for this to go. I roughly remember the original. As much a story of a coming civil war between anti magic humans and magic users and between factions within the magic community as it is a voyage of discovery for Furst post transformation and for a young lad his Brother Darien takes in.
Still there is hope as he hates being impulsive. And if I recall our convicted murderer -- mind you lethal magic duels are legal in your stories universe but they nailed him on a technicality it appears -- slowly wins over some of her tormentors while learning a lot about his later herself.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Technicalities
Basically, they claimed that since he had the capacity to predict the encounter and it's results, he must have done so and went in knowing the end result. Basically the same reason the precogs are supposed to be banned from gambling, stock trading, and other similar activities.
The real problem is, truly, Furst's impulsiveness and lack of desire to wait. I once read that the ones with precognitive powers talented enough don't actually have to fight as they ensure there will not be a situation where fighting is called for.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
On the confusing segment
there were actually two 'jails' A holding cell, and the actual jail. during the scene with Darrian he was in the holding cell after the caravan scene with the introduction of Grey, He was in an actual Jail.
===SPOILERS===
The Council set Kao after him because they both recently graduated, they believed that they wouldn't have to send a well trained mage to apprehend Furst, however because of his precognitive abilities he was able to predict, and use the prediction for his advantage in the fight. He killed her out of impulsiveness, She had insulted him on several levels and talked about his brother in a way that rubbed him raw.
I think I mentioned it several times in the story, that Furst was able to use his magical abilities with a collar on that prevented mages from using their magic so the judges actually put a second one on him before he wakes up in jail. Because of that ability that he displayed, albeit illegally in the courtroom, the judges saw it and how much raw magical power Furst really has.
In the last story, I painted Furst as a misogynist with a passion and no real reason. In the last story he still had an impulsive personality, it is just in this story that I am making it a more integral part of the plot mechanism.
Thank you for commenting ^^
...uh my signature?
I'm glad this story is
I'm glad this story is back...
The last time it got confused between beeing a funny parody and a serious fantasy story. I hope this will keep on the serious side. Seems to be quite promising.
I can't wait to see what you've changed...
Thank you for writing,
Beyogi
I can already see the difference
In this rewrite from the original. You're being much more detailed this time around, and that adds a great deal to the story. Plus you've given Furst a reason for going against the council other than simple impetuosity and spite.
I'll be looking forward to more of this rewrite, since the original is still in my favorites.
Maggie
A fine rewrite
The original was good if incomplete.
And you did justify for the most part why he acted as he did. IE via his/her precog gifts and his experiences as a child and upon learning he had magical talents. That and his stubborn and impulsive, character traits probably made worse or made into negative attributes by his life history. Still a bit upset he killed her but such duels were legal in their case and were any of her uses of magic on him potentially dangerous to him? Escaping a *lawful arrest* would not be a legal use of his powers I would think. But did she not show him credentials from the mages that gave her that power/duty?
He and she talked like he knew she came from them and admitted it but despite her taunts the killing seems extreme. However... if even after her failing into the crevasse she tried to magic him? Was she honestly calling for help or willing to use her situation to trick him? If he feared she was about to do that to him, IE he precoged her trying yet again to trap or kill him then he was justified in his killing her. I would think IF a precog *read* that someone was about to kill them then killing their soon to be murderer would be self defense ... Ah but how to prove it is the rub.
Just a thought.
As I remember he was a jerk but not a bad person. From what I remember of later he is not a killer unless it is necessary for survival. And many of those who jailed and changed him were as or worse in abusing their magical gifts in their treatment of him/her and of others. And in captivity he/she was forced to look at what she'd become and realized she was wrong. Not wrong in her precog of the future war but in the way he had tried to prevent it, to change the future. So he is hardly a wolf among sheep more a part wolf among a lot of partial wolves.
From how this one is going you seem to be setting up the whys as to why he/she is as he/she is earlier and more clearly.
If many of the same chief characters carry over into this one I suspect they too will be clearer as to what made/motivates them. I remember one in particular a woman as intensely anti male and pro the old school as he was a chavenist and anti establishment. IE she was his now her opposite. What were her motivations?
This promises to be a great read.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Wow, good start!
Definitely worth espanding on. I haven't read your first version (I might, if it's still there), so this is all fresh to me. I definitely want to read more!
Wren