“Relax, Theresa, the school is ready for you,” her mother said, brushing the girl’s long blonde hair. “You should have no problems.”

Theresa merely nodded, as her mother completed the process, and fixed a pink hair band across the top of the girl’s head. She knew her mother had arranged matters with the principal and other staff at the James Whitcomb Riley High School to accept Theresa Hopkins into school for her senior year, in place of Thomas Hopkins which had been the girl’s identity the year before.

It wasn’t the principal or the teachers that Theresa was worried about; they should be OK with her since the school itself had won a reputation for its open-minded administration, particularly since two years earlier they had been in the midst of controversy over admitting a girl who had once been attending as a boy. Even as Thomas, Theresa had been a quiet and attentive student with good grades. It was the other students that concerned her. For most of her earlier high school years, as Thomas, she had been teased, taunted and bullied. And Thomas, who was a soft and slightly chubby boy, had been unable to defend himself, always too weak and tentative about fighting with other boys.

He had loved school, except for gym classes, in which he struggled in mightily, having problems completing simple exercises like chin-ups or push-ups, his arms too weak to pull his weight. He embarrassed himself running, he knew, as he puffed his way thighs rubbing together in their fatness and breasts bouncing. He had developed breasts in the 6th grade, due to his natural chubbiness, and was teased for his girlish physique.

As her mother labored over her outfit for the first day of school in her senior year, Theresa reflected back to the moment when she was 12 years old and was caught wearing her mother’s yellow summer dress, which fit his fleshy, baby-fat body like a glove. He was the same size as his mother, who was a short, somewhat chubby woman. She remembered thinking how completely girlish she looked that day, and it just seemed to confirm what she had felt for a long time and she remembered saying into the mirror, with a smile, “I am a girl.” Her mother caught the unfortunate boy dressing a few days later; she didn’t reprimand him, but seemed to understand. Yet, she forbade him to ever wear women’s clothes again.

She remembered, too, how her mother fought her efforts to be girlish by trying to get her then into Little League or the Boy Scouts or some other boy activity. She had failed in all those efforts, often rushing home in tears, finding solace only by sobbing on her bed, holding her soft stuffed rabbit named Fluffy and wondering again, “Why can’t I be a girl?”

By the time she was 14 and in the 8th Grade, her mother gave up on making her fit into a boy’s life; soon she was permitting the child to dress in private at home, and even helped to build a wardrobe of fashionable teen girl outfits. Her mother soon found herself nurturing the young lady’s activities, and often the pair would drive to a neighboring town to shop and perhaps see a movie or to eat with Theresa blossoming as a plump teenage girl, who was growing unusually pretty as she matured, loosing her baby fat while retaining a round, curvy body.

There were trips to therapists and later a psychiatrist who specialized in gender issues and it was decided as the child completed her junior year that she should begin living fulltime as a girl and beginning her tranisition. Theresa couldn’t be happier and by July 4th, she began her life with her new identity.

*****
As planned in advance, Theresa was driven to school on the first day of the new school year by her mother, where they were met by Mr. Gibson, a vice-principal with a particularly severe and commanding presence, who escorted her into her homeroom to begin the school year, hoping to avoid the milling students who might taunt her. Outside of some strange looks, Theresa’s walk into school was met with only curious stares, since no one, it appeared, had any clue as to who this new girl in school was and were likely wondering why she deserved the escort service of that tyrant of a vice principal.

Theresa felt, too, that some of the boys eyed her a bit closely, probably noticing her round hips and soft white legs from under her flowing print skirt. She also wore a purple peasant blouse, with puffed sleeves and a scooped bodice that even showed hint of cleavage of her soft bosom. She wore flats, but she was certain she must have walked a bit suggestively.

“Don’t be such a flirt,” her mother had warned her several days earlier as they shopped, noticing Theresa’s tendency to move her hips enticingly one their various mother-daughter trips.

But Theresa couldn’t help it.

*****
Only three other students, along with the school administration and Theresa’s homeroom teacher, knew that the new girl in school had been in the school previously as Thomas Hopkins. The three students were all girls. Theresa had been friends with them since grade school, enjoying the girly gabfests and even a few pajama parties, where, as Thomas, he had been the only boy.

The four of them found comfort in each other, since they all shared the same issue: they were not particularly pretty or handsome and were considered to be outside of the “in” cliques of the school. They were all top students, too, and easily gained the enmity, if not the jealousy, of the others. Merrilee McKay was a pimpled girl with a too large nose, but a ready smile that seemed to bring charm to her otherwise unpretty face; she was the school’s top math student. Alisha Downes was an overweight dark-complexioned African-American girl, whose large hips seemed to mark her as already a middle-aged woman; yet, she had bright, alert eyes and had been named president of the debate club. Finally, there was Staci Emerson, a tall, fleshy girl who dressed in oversized, plain clothing and wore no makeup; she, however, also was a top student in science and wanted badly to become an environmental scientist.

They all shared one other feature: None had ever been on a date of any kind with a boy and none had ever tasted the passionate kiss of a boy. And, it seemed likely none would change that before graduation in June of the following year.

Of the four, it appeared to Theresa, she would likely be the prettiest of them all. And, of course, she too had yet to have a date or feel the kiss of a boy. Theresa wondered about this, knowing she might face such a request from a boy before her year in school was completed. How would she handle it? She knew she should just say “no,” and let it go at that, but that seemed unfair to the boy, if indeed a boy ever did ask her out.

“I’m not sure you’ll want to have a ‘date’ yet,” her mother told her one night as the two were engaged in several of their mother-daughter talks.

“I know mom.”

“You need to settle into your new self first, I think, dear.”

“Besides, mom, I don’t know if I’m comfortable kissing a boy yet,” he said. “In come ways, I’m still getting over being Thomas.”

It as true; she still thought of kissing of a boy as almost a homosexual act, since she was still anatomically a boy. Yet, the more she thought of placing her soft body in the arms of a strong boy, she liked the idea. What would a warm kiss feel like, she wondered?

The four girls shared a lunch table together on that first day of the school year, gravitating toward the same table the four of them used in the previous school year when Thomas was the only boy with the three girls.

“We’re all jealous of you, Theresa,” Staci said, putting an arm around Theresa as she sat down next to her, and drawing the girl into her large body.

“You’re so pretty,” added Alisha, her sparkling eyes shining. “And dressed so cool.”

“Yeah, did you see the boys eyeing her up in English class this morning?” Merrilee said.

“Particularly Jared Lincoln, he couldn’t take his eyes off our new girl here,” Staci said, pulling Theresa closer, and squeezing her soft upper arm.

“I’ll bet he wants to ask her to the Homecoming Dance,” Alisha said, giggling.

“Don’t be silly, Alisha,” Merrilee said. “It’s only the first day of school and the dance isn’t until November. Besides, Jared’s been dating Jessica Hanson.”

“Oh, that ended this summer, Merrilee,” Staci said. “They had a big row at the swimming pool when Jared kept looking at some young college girl. She was so jealous.”

“Well, he’s sure got eyes for Theresa,” Alisha said, her giggle growing infectious and soon all four were laughing.

“What do you think Theresa? Do you want to be the first to break the boy barrier pact? With Jared?”

The previous year the group had made a pact: the first girl to go on a date with a boy and be kissed would be given a spanking by the others; she would also have to buy all of them hot fudge sundaes, a favorite of all four of them. In Thomas’ case, he was part of the same pact when and if he ever dated and kissed a girl, and if such came first before any of the girls. Now, of course, as Theresa, he became the fourth girl in the pact.

*****
Theresa couldn’t help looking over in Jared’s direction; he was only three tables away and her view provided a clear shot to see. She saw him quickly avert his eyes as she looked in his direction, then noticing that he sought to peak again toward her, but Theresa saw it, and smiled. She could have sworn that the boy blushed at that point, and the mere thought that a boy might blush over her was exciting.

The eye-to-eye connection ended when a few kids crowded into a table that separated the two, but Theresa held on to the image of Jared, trying to take surreptitious looks at her.

“You’re flirting with him,” Staci said. She was sitting next to Theresa and caught sight of this eye play between the two.

“Well, he was looking at me,” Theresa said. “I just looked back. He’s kinda cute.”

“Kinda? He’s adorable,” Staci said. “Go for it, dear.”

“Oh, Staci, I’m not ready for boys yet,” she said, not sure she was trying to convince Staci or herself.

*****
“Oops, sorry,” Theresa said as she found herself jostled into the oncoming path of a boy as she was about to enter her last class of the day, an honors English class on Shakespeare.

“Oh, it’s you,” said the voice, coming from the solid body of the boy she had bumped into.

“Huh, oh, Jared, hi, I’m sorry,” she said suddenly taken aback in noticing the boy she bumped into was none other than Jared Lincoln.

“You were making eyes at me in cafeteria,” he said accusingly.

“Me?” Theresa answered, angered by what appeared to be an angry assumption. “It’s you who were staring at me to start.”

“Don’t be silly. Why would I even look at you? I don’t know you, but you seem to know me,” Jared said, his tone still stern.

“Well, I’m Theresa Hopkins, that’s who I am.”

“OK,” he said. “How come you know my name?”

Theresa wanted to tell him that he was the talk of a lot of girls; he was indeed a good-looking boy, a little taller than most, broad-shouldered with a slender, well-toned body. He was also quarterback for the school’s football team. But she told a little white lie:

“Well some of my girl friends saw you looking at me, and they told me who you were.”

That seemed to satisfy him.

“Well, I have to go to class,” he said, now acting more friendly, and with a glint in his eye, added, “Maybe you’ll bump into me again.”

“Me? Into you? It was you who bumped into me.” Theresa was also smiling.

Just then the bell rang, and to the surprise of both, they were entering into the same classroom.

*****
Theresa dreamed of dancing in the arms of Jared Lincoln, of her skirts flowing as she glided across the floor, and of being guided by the strong arms of her handsome escort. They were the envy of the crowd, a tall handsome, well-dressed young man, with the room’s most beautiful woman in his arms. It was a captivating scene.

“Theresa . . . MISS HOPKINS!” The voice shattered into her reverie, and she felt a poke on her back, obviously from the girl in the seat behind her.

“Uh. Yes? What’s a . . .?” Gosh, she realized. I’m in English class and Miss Henningsen is calling on me.

“Miss Hopkins,” the teacher said with some sarcasm. “If you were dreaming about Hamlet or Macbeth, fine, but if you’re mooning over some boy, you better wake up or you won’t last in this class.”

The class burst into laughter, and she heard the voice of Jared Lincoln, who had taken a desk next to her, whisper, “Bet you were dreaming of me.”

“Not on your life, you should be so lucky,” she whispered back.

To her teacher, Theresa said, “Yes ma’am. I’ll pay attention.”

“Now I asked you, as I’ve asked all the other students, to tell us your name and why you took the course. OK?”

“Yes ma’am.” She paused momentarily and then began:

“I’m Theresa Hopkins and I guess I wanted this class because . . . well . . . because I think Shakespeare writes good plays.”

“That’s not much of an answer, Miss Hopkins, but you’re right, he does write good plays. Now pay attention to the rest of this class.”

Theresa grew red with embarrassment; she had always been a good student, having recorded “A’s” in the majority of her classes. Rarely had she day-dreamed as she found herself doing that afternoon. She feared more day dreams were in the future, all featuring Jared Lincoln.

*****
Theresa was still embarrassed over the day-dreaming incident when the class ended. She tried to bolt out of her seat and out of the room, but other departing students, all eager to charge out of school as classes ended for the day had already crowded the door and she was forced to wait, hoping against hope that Jared Lincoln would not be stopping her and wanting to talk. In her new life as a girl, she was ill-prepared to deal with a boy friend.

Jared was soon at her side as they exited the room together. “What were you day-dreaming about?” he said.

Theresa tried to keep looking straight ahead, trying not to respond. Yet, she had the sense that he was grinning at her, probably have a self-satisfied smirk on his face. How could he possibly read her mind; yet she felt he knew that her thoughts were of him. What an egomaniac he must be, she thought.

“I bet I know what you were dreaming about,” he said, easily keeping up with her quickening pace, while moving his body close to her, almost touching.

“Oh, leave me alone. I have to meet my friends.”

“Let them wait a minute,” he said, putting a hand on her arm, and steering her into a side alcove in the hallway, to permit the stream of students rushing to the exits.

Theresa felt she had no choice but to let herself be moved into the alcove. “What do you want?” she said, trying to make her voice sound firm and forbidding, but regretting that it came out weak and tentative.

“I just wanted to get to know you better, Theresa,” he said hurriedly, somewhat red-faced himself, his voice almost unsure.

“Well, I’m Theresa Hopkins, a senior. Now you know me!” She was now pleased with herself, since her voice came out more firm and self-assured.

“I know that, Theresa. Please, I just wanted to welcome you to our school. You’re new here and I wanted to make you feel at home.”

“Oh,” she said, not sure that was the whole truth. Her mother had told her to look out for boys, telling her most wanted only one thing and it was the one thing Theresa was not yet able to provide them. She had noticed how many boys looked at her in the hallways, even over-hearing some lewd comments suggesting she might be “an easy lay.”

“And you’re very pretty, too,” he said. “Where did you go to school before?”

“I’ve been here all through high school.”

“Really? How come I never saw you before?”

“It’s a big school and I kinda changed over the summer, I guess. I used to be a little bigger.” She was pleased how she was able to make a true statement, since it was true she had lost some weight during the summer.

“Hmmmm,” he said, looking at her closely. “I guess I recognize you now. Well, let me walk you to the door. You seem nice and I like Shakespeare, too. Would you like to be an actress?”

“What?” she said, puzzled by his sudden change of topics. “Oh, I don’t know. I like to write, though.”

“I like to act,” he said. “I was in last year’s school play, ‘The Importance of Being Earnest.’”

“You were?” she said. “I saw it . . . and . . . ah . . . I think I remember you. You were the son who wanted to marry the rich girl, right?”

“That was me.”

“You were good,” she said, all of a sudden gaining interest in this handsome young man.

“Thank you. And here we are. Are these your friends?”

Alisha, Merrilee and Staci stood at the entrance, and they stopped talking as they watched Theresa and Jared walk down the stairs toward them.

“Hi Staci,” Jared said, possibly because that was the only one of the girls he knew well.

“Hi Jared,” Staci replied. “I see you two have already met.”

“Yes,” Theresa nodded. “We had last class together.”

“And she was caught day-dreaming by Miss Henningsen,” Jared said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“I was not day-dreaming,” she protested. “I was thinking.”

“About what?” Merrilee asked.

“None of your business,” Theresa shot back.

*****
“Wow, that was quick,” Merrilee said as the four girls began their walk home.

“First day of school and she’s got the hottest boy in school,” echoed Staci.

“Oh we were just talking about acting,” Theresa said, hoping to end the conversation.

“I bet,” Staci said, giggling. “He is hot, Theresa. Really hot.”

“I’m jealous, sister,” said Merrilee. “I said you’d get all the boys after you.”

“Yeah, but we love her anyway,” Alisha said.

Theresa smiled; how sweet it felt to be in the company of other girls and to now be one of them.

*****
The news that the “new girl” in the senior class was really the student formerly known as Thomas Hopkins spread quickly throughout James Whitcomb Riley High School. After talking with her mother that evening, she decided she best make here previous identity known. “It will be impossible to keep it secret for a full year,” her mother had reasoned. “Best get it out quickly and early.”

She called all three of her girl friends that night to say that they were released from their pledge to keep it a secret. All three said they’d be happy to keep holding it a secret, but Theresa told them to leak it to a few other girls. She knew the gossip of teenagers, aided by Facebook, would spread the news far and wide.

Her mother called the school principal first thing in the morning to alert her that the news would be spreading around the school; the principal suggested that Mrs. Hopkins might want to bring her daughter around and in through the teacher’s entrance to avoid trouble at the main entrance in the morning. Theresa rejected the idea. “Mom, I told my girl friends to meet me on the sidewalk in front of school. You can drop me off there. I want to walk into school proud to be the girl that I am.”

“Oh darling, that might be dangerous. Please don’t. Why not stay home today? I’m sure the school will understand.”

“No, mom. Let’s get it over with. You remember Mary Ann two years ago?”

Theresa was referring to the school’s first experience with a transgendered students, when a boy named Michael returned to school as “Mary Ann.”

“Yes, I do and you remember how difficult it was for her.”

“But she blazed the way for me. We must do this, mother.”

“I understand, darling, but must it be you? I’m so worried about you getting hurt like Mary Ann was.”

“She recovered, mother, and she’s in college now to be a lawyer,” Theresa said.

“Oh, honey, please be careful.”

*****
Theresa had trouble that night getting to sleep; her thoughts constantly on Jared. How would he react when he found out his “new girl friend” used to be named Terrence? Would he wrap her up in his strong arms, squeezing her into a rapture of dreamy love? Or, would he look at her in disgust, turn his back and walk away, forever out of her life?

Why couldn’t she have told him right away about her earlier life, and now spare the fate of having him tell her that she lied to him? Why, oh why, she wondered, too, wasn’t she born a girl in all ways? What a marvelous dream that would have been, to have been always seen as a girl, soft and pink and sweet to behold?

She must have slept, though, since the next thing she knew it her mother was shaking her out of a dream.

“It’s 5:30 Theresa, and you must get yourself ready.”

“Huh?”

“Up, you’re going to school, dear. Remember.”

The reality of the day ahead hit her hard, and she wanted to bury her head in the fluff of her pillow, never to rise again. Yet, she knew she had to face up to it: her whole future lie in how she would meet this challenge, since she knew there were perhaps even more difficult times ahead. She knew she had to get up.

“Why don’t you wear this nice summer dress, Theresa?” he mother asked. She had pulled a light blue dress from the closet. It was one of her favorites, but she shook her head “no.”

“Girls don’t wear dresses to school much anymore mom, like they did in your day,” she protested.

“I guess you’re right, but you’re so pretty in this one.”

“That’s for a dance or birthday party, mom. Girls will be wearing shorts or mini skirts or maybe jeans in school today.”

The day promised to continue a late summer heat wave that had begun about three days earlier; since their were so few truly warm days in the northern climate, the school had no air conditioning, so the usual dress codes were generally overlooked when the days were stiflingly hot.

“How about my capris, mom? The beige ones? And then I could wear that nice light peasant blouse, the green one, with the little bunny on the front?”

“That’s nice,” her mother agreed.

She could wear footies under her flats, and keep her lower legs bare. The capri pants, she knew, accentuated her hips and had proved in the past to be eye-catchers for lustful boys. When dressed she knew she that her tendency to be slightly overweight and fleshy became particularly enticing to boys. But, she feared she’d be branded as a slut, so she tried so hard to be both feminine and modest.

She tied her blondish hair into pigtails, showing off her pretty neck, and attached simple earrings that matched the bracelet in a set she bought that summer at the American Indian exposition that was held in the city. The bracelet had turquoise and emerald stones embedded into a silver plated band, and she wore it on her left wrist.

“There, you look lovely, dear,” her mother said when they were done.

*****
It seemed the whole student body was standing in front of the school when her mother dropped her off.

“Are they waiting for me, mom?” Theresa asked, almost in panic.

“You better get it over with, dear,” her mother said. “See your friends there?”

“Yes, mother, and here comes Mr. Gibson with two of the security aides. I’ll be fine, mom.”

She kissed her mother, who seemed to hold onto her just a bit longer than usual.

The crowd of students began a surge to the car just as Theresa opened the door, but she heard Mr. Gibson voice boom out in his most commanding manner: “Get back, everyone, let her get to school.”

Just then, she saw her three girl friends, Staci, Alisha and Merrilee, move out of the throng, followed by what appeared to be the whole football team. Leading the group was none other than Jared Lincoln, a smile on his face as broad as the whole Mississippi. As if on cue, Mr. Gibson and the two security guards stepped aside, as Jared strode up, inviting Theresa to take his arm.

Theresa, totally confused now, grabbed his arm, and followed him as her began leading up the walk to the school’s entrance, her girl friends flanked the two and following behind were a team of boys, obviously recruited by Jared.

The crowd of students cheered, their loudness drowning out a few isolated shouts of “faggot,” “sissy boy” and “queers.”

“Oh Jared,” she whispered in his ear, “Did you get the whole football team behind you here?”

“No, only those I could get to online last night. I did get a few who turned me down, but most wanted to support you.”

“Oh Jared, you’re so sweet.”

The two walked in proudly, their heads erect, Theresa holding onto his muscled forearm. She felt so completely honored and feminine. Once inside the school entrance, he took her by the hand, dragging her into a janitor’s closet that was nearby, and she was suddenly consumed with the smell of disinfectants and musty mop residue. Her eyes fixed upon a paint-splattered janitor’s sink briefly, then turned to look into his eyes. She felt weak, glad to feel his strong arms about her to protect her from crumbling into a heap in midst of all the cleaning supplies.

“I’m mad at you for not telling me, Theresa,” he said. “I would have understood.”

“I’m sorry, Jared, I hated not telling you, but I was so afraid of what you’d do. I like you so much.”

“Staci called me last night after the word leaked out. She told me what this is all about.”

“She‘s such a dear friend.”

“I was about to write you off, but my older sister talked me out of it,” he said quickly. “She was friends with Mary Ann and told me all about her situation. She told me you really are a girl, except for one thing.”

Just then her three girl friends pounded on the door of the janitor’s closet. “Come on, open up, you two,” yelled Staci.

“Give us a minute,” Jared yelled back at them.

“Theresa, will you still be my girl?” He asked, his eyes intent in their look upon Theresa.

“Oh yes, Jared. Yes, Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes.”

She grabbed onto him, holding him tightly, and raised up on the toes of her shoes, planting a big, sweet, passionate kiss upon his handsome face. He responded by pulling her even more tightly into him, his mouth sharing in the passion of the moment.

Just then the door popped open, exposing them to the throngs of students in the hallway. They were caught in a hard embrace. Theresa could hear loud cheers, accompanied by some nasty yells. She didn’t care. She was in love.

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