Like Angharad, I do not go trooping about with a scarlet 'T' tattooed to my forehead or even on my heart. When I meet people, the first words that pop out of my mouth are not, "Hi, I'm trans______, (fill in the blank).

I am female, one who had an odd background. I move through the world and associate with people I work with and come across as a female without anyone outside my primary care physician and immediate family knowing about that most interesting background. I have all the legally obtained documents in the world to include a concealed carry permit and a military physical I was ordered to take shortly after 9/11 when recalled verifying I am female. (Note: Since transgender is considered a mental disorder according to DSM IV, the Army medical board gave me a no go, so sleep safely tonight America).

Any who, back to the issue at hand. The time I spend here reading a few of the decent stories or contributing my own to the mix is purely entertainment on my part. It does not influence my personal self image or the way I conduct myself once I click off this site and get on with my life. When I started out, I was very active in the transgender community. I made many friends and did some good work for the community at a time when IFGE and other organizations like it had a purpose and focus. When I plunged head long into my own transition, I left the community in order to sort my life out. In doing so I turned my back on some really great friends. After 14 years I finally reached out to them and, in a small way became active in the community once more, not as an advocate or 'grunt' as before but as a writer.

Why, you may ask if things were going so swimmingly? Because being TG is part of me, just like my childhood, my college years and my time with the colors. To forsake that part of me that was so important to making me who I am today would be akin to lopping off my right arm. While I can understand the logic of 'Not Transgender's' arguement, I cannot accept the wisdom. As the old song says, "We are what we are."

To 'Not Transgender', I say Via con Dios. I do wish you the best in all you do.

Nancy Cole

I detest the transgender label. It was made up initially by Virginia Prince to replace the transvestite label when she started the Society for The Second Self, or TriEss. It was meant to apply to heterosexual crossdressers, married, usually with kids, that liked to express their "feminine side". It is interesting that Ms. Prince lived the latter part of her life presenting as female full time, though she always denied she was TS (another label).

However, the term was coopted by the GLB movement, primarily by the HRC, to cover all gender variant people in a blatant attempt to obtain a larger membership for donations and political purposes. Sadly, even the professional psych. and social sciences community latched onto the term in an ill defined way, but often use it to mean primarily transsexuals. It has been accepted by the government, again primarily to define "sex change people", and it appears unlikely to be changed. It is an albatross around many people's neck, and affects medical care, social security, and passport applications, not to mention employment.

It is GID (Gender Identity Disorder) that is listed as a disorder in the DSM-4. Gender Dysphoria is not, nor is the term transgender used as anything other than a list of synonyms for gender variance, as of 1994. The soon to be publshed DSM-5 no longer lists GID, using instead Gender Incongruence (but still with the same medical insurance codes so WTF) and does have a "get out clause" saying that post ops are no longer considered disordered, thereby accepting the concept that a medical procedure can cure a "mental disorder", at least in principle. That there are so many people who still suffer in many ways from the social/self labeling is pretty much ignored.

Who you are is defined by you, the way you live your life, and present yourself. Or should be. There is no need to ever allow yourself to be defined in a way you do not want to be (unless you are still having to play the "Standards of Care" game to get surgery). If you let a word continue to define you after transition and surgery, then maybe you need to talk it out with someone who can help you see beyond it.

I am torn between wanting to try to help make the path easier for others and chucking it all and going elsewhere. Since I am torn, I therefore moderate or facilitate a support group for people who are just getting started, and they can continue into surgery and beyond if they wish. I also participate in an online forum for the same reason, and because some of the people on the forum have become on-line friends that I care about, I stay even as a post-op. I come here to read some of the stories by authors I have come to enjoy, and have recommended the site to others who kinda need to get the idea they can survive all the hurt that can come with being TS.

I do sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be easier on me to let that all go and just be, but as has been said, I also have a life history that involves many accepting people who are friends, and letting go completely of them is something I see as diminishing me. It has been harder to make new friends outside of the support group and my existing circle of old friends, and since I am not much of a "joiner" it is hard to meet new people at my age. And I have family that are more or less accepting and who need me, an aged (91) mother in a nursing home with dementia, blind, mostly deaf, confined to a wheelchair, who could be subject to some abuse or be ignored if I were not active in her advocacy. And a sister, dying slowly and agonizingly from cancer, to visit and do what I can to help her.

Still, I do not see myself as a trans- anything. I am me, a woman with an unusual but not unique medical history.

CaroL

I can't comment upon labels or transgenderism because my sexuality is fluid, moving like very cold (almost frozen)syrup. I still haven't even given myself a gender label so there's no hope of anybody else doing so and I'm secretly glad of that, because it makes me feel less vulnerable to being labelled incorrectly and thus treated inappropriately.

I'm slightly saddened that you've chosen to remove your stories because that's a part of you that shall always serve to remind others of you even if you don't want to be reminded of them. Life is very much a two way street even without labels or street names. I feel that 'pulling your stories' is a mistake on your part but of course it's entirely your call.

I wonder if you'll one day find a reason or even a need to drop by and give us a metaphorical call.

It always saddens me when girls or boys or 'inbetweenies' finally get their plumbing right as they need it, then choose to drop all connections with the 'trans' communities. I feel they are in some small part trying to cleanse themselves of what ever stigma attached itself to their previous circumstances both in their own minds and in their perceptions of others who appeared to judge them; often harshly.
Something is lost both from the leavers and the left. Parting thus can be such sweet sorrow.

We'll miss you.

I can only wish you good luck and happiness in your future.

Cheerio and hugs.

Beverly.

Growing old disgracefully.

If leaving helps bring you peace, so be it and I am happy for you.

I will miss your writing, you have talent. I will miss your replies to my comments. You were always a jot to read, blogs, stories and replies to comments.

The loss of anyone in a group diminishes it. Almost a universal truth.

BC is less for your absence.

Please consider republishing your works, perhaps under a pseudonym if the memoires of your past it might bring up are not too painful.

John in Wauwatosa