Synopsis:

How will Charlotte cope, now that she has found Kirsty?

Story:

A Different Plane of Existence

By Karen Page

Part Twelve

"Oh my God," bemoaned Charlotte to herself, as she curled up on the settee. "How could this happen? How can I survive another day like that?"

Charlotte not only found out her girlfriend from before the accident lived in the same area but went to the same school. After being thrust together, Charlotte had tried to keep her distance from Kirsty but to no avail. Kirsty hadn't had time to make any real friends and took her 'responsibility' of making sure Charlotte was looked after very seriously. As the day progressed, Charlotte slipped into the groove and was finding herself not wanting to be away from Kirsty.

"Are you okay?" asked Kelly. She had heard the front door open and had come in to see Charlotte cuddled up on the settee hugging a cushion as if it would save her from all life's woes. Kelly noted that Charlotte had flung her jacket and school bag onto the floor but decided now wasn't the time to discuss tidiness.

Charlotte just tightened her grip on the cushion as the memories of the day crystallised in her brain. She tried to find the words to describe how emotionally upsetting it had all been and how she was still affected. When Charlotte opened her mouth to speak, words didn't come. After a second attempt Kelly was very much aware that something was badly wrong. Kelly sat on the edge of the settee next to Charlotte and scooped the distraught girl onto her arms.

"It's okay," reassured Kelly as Charlotte broke down into tears. "It's all okay."

Kelly didn't say anything else, just holding Charlotte; waiting patiently for demon's to emerge. It took a while for the Charlotte to be able to speak coherently and a little longer for her to be able to make sense but eventually the story emerged.

"Do you want to go to a different school?"

"Ye-", started Charlotte who, just as quickly stopped. "No," said eventually said, "I don’t want to change schools. If Kirsty finds out then she finds out. She isn't a vindictive person and if she worked it out, wouldn't say anything. It is a good school and I seemed to fit in well."

"Are you sure?" asked Kelly with deep concern. "Will you be able to cope, being close to Kirsty but never able to act on your love?"

"No, I'm not sure," admitted Charlotte, her voice still trembling. "I'm sure seeing her will be equally painful but I'm not a quitter. I will learn to cope, just as I've learnt to cope with loosing my parents."

Over their rather late evening meal, Kelly pondered on Charlotte's situation. She was still having nightmares, albeit less frequently. Would this be a distraction from her parent's death, or would it just add to the stress. Would a distraction be good or, in the long term, be detrimental to her recovery.

Later, after Kelly had all but ordered Charlotte to go to bed, Charlotte laid wide awake, sleep eluding her. Thoughts of Kirsty kept intruding her feeble attempts to sleep. When Kelly went to bed and switched off the lights the digital numbers on the alarm clock became the only visible focal point. As the night drew on their constant green glow became her only companion.

"If there is a God," thought Charlotte, "he has got a very naughty sense of humour."

The memory of the day replayed constantly in her mind, trying to find any details that might indicate Kirsty had seen Simon. The prepared answers for "where are your from?" and "why did you move?" had seemed to do the trick without giving any apparent clue.

"Perhaps she doesn't know," concluded Charlotte, more in hope than anything more solid.

The clock continued its relentless journey through the sleepless night. Each minute that ticked by frustrated Charlotte as she wanted to sleep but the sandman had yet to visit.

"Should I continue at the school?" thought Charlotte, remembering Kelly's offer from earlier. "Would it be easier on all involved?"

Thoughts of Simon's time with Kirsty brought a smile; the first kiss with Kirsty, the first dance they had attended 'together', their tender kiss together under the mistletoe only a few months ago. Charlotte's smile of remembrance disappeared as the thoughts turned to more recent times; the heart wrenching kisses only a few weeks ago as Simon said goodbye for the last time. The worry and bewilderment of the situation was only surpassed with the yearning Charlotte felt for Kirsty.

"No," concluded Charlotte. "I might not be able to tell Kirsty but I certainly don't want to be away from her again."

With that decided Charlotte eventually drifted off to sleep, which for once was without nightmares.

* * *

After the journey home, Kirsty sat at the kitchen table do her homework but she couldn't get the concentration required. She managed to read the same page of the text book five times without any detail sinking in. There was something about Charlotte that was so familiar, so reassuring and comforting. What it was Kirsty couldn't put her finger on but the fact was driving her crazy.

"Have you done all your homework?" asked Mrs Wilson. After a pause she prompted, "Kirsty?"

"Huh? Sorry, did you ask me something?"

"Did you do all your homework?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Well I've done some of it, but I don't seem to be able to concentrate."

"You do seem a bit distracted," admitted Mrs Wilson. "What's he called?"

"Who?"

"The person who has you all confused; what's his name?"

"It's a girl called Charlotte."

Mr and Mrs Wilson gave each other a quick glance and Mr Wilson gave his shoulders a quick shrug. It was obvious to them both that Kirsty was love struck but she had never shown any interest in girls before, well not in that way. It was good that she wasn't moping about Simon. Perhaps she thought that seeing a girl would not be being unfaithful to Simon.

"That's nice, dear. You haven't mentioned her before."

"She's just started at the school today," enthused Kirsty. "Mr Younger asked me to buddy with her since I'm also relatively new."

For the next hour Kirsty related every facet of the day to an increasingly bemused set of parents. This was something they'd never thought they would have to deal with when they had fostered and later adopted her.

That night Kirsty lay in bed, her mind failing to settle. Charlotte reminded her of someone but she just couldn't work out who. Every time she thought about Charlotte she sighed and her thoughts turned to Simon. No matter how hard she tried to keep her thoughts on Charlotte they always ended up with Simon.

"Tell me what's bothering you?" asked Mrs Wilson, as she sat on the edge of Kirsty's bed. She had heard Kirsty wandering around her room and had come to investigate.

"I'm fine," said Kirsty as she lay in her bed, trying not to look at Simon's photograph.

"If that is the case, then why can't you sleep?"

"I'm frustrated as I can't work out who Charlotte reminds me of. Every time I picture her in my mind I keep thinking about Simon."

"Don't worry about who she reminds you of at the moment. You have only known Charlotte one day so relax and enjoy having a new friend. Then if you are still friends next week why don't you invite her round for tea and I can see if she reminds me of someone."

"Oh thank you mum," said Kirsty, sitting up and throwing her arms tightly around her mum's neck.

"No problem," laughed Mrs Wilson, wriggling free. "Now get to sleep, you have school in the morning!"

* * *

The next day Charlotte was torn. Part of her was eager to get to school, she enjoyed learning and she would see Kirsty again. The dissenting part was frightened about what Kirsty would say if she ever found out and if other people in the school would see through her masquerade. The thoughts of the previous night still fresh in her mind just adding to her confusion.

As she walked tiredly to the bus stop she saw Kirsty in the distance. Any thoughts of not going to school vanished as her heart started quickening. Charlotte just made it to the bus before it pulled out. As she walked along the aisle she noticed that the seat next to Kirsty was empty. As most other seats were occupied, Charlotte sat next to Kirsty without it appearing that she was deliberately doing so.

"Hi," smiled Kirsty. "So you weren't put off yesterday and have come back for more?"

"It's quite a nice school and I've been made very welcome," smiled Charlotte, her heart beat becoming quicker and found it hard to resist trying to hold Kirsty's hand.

"You look a bit tired," commented Kirsty as they got off the bus and made their way towards their class.

"I didn't sleep well," agreed Charlotte, "but you can't talk. You looked like you were about to fall asleep on the bus."

"I'm not that bad," protested Kirsty as she tried to stifle a yawn. "Well perhaps I am."

The lessons that day were harder as Charlotte struggled to stay awake. The worst was during the afternoon, just after lunch. She was scheduled for PE but since she was excused she went to the library to try and catch-up on subjects she'd slipped behind with.

"You are here to study, not sleep," said the librarian as she shook Charlotte awake.

"Uh?"

"You'd fallen asleep with your head in the book. The bell just went and I believe you have a lesson to go to?"

"Yes, thank you," Charlotte said grabbing her stuff and rushing out of the door, leaving the librarian giggling in the wake.

"How are you doing?" Charlotte asked Kirsty as they went into the last lesson of the day.

"Surviving," Kirsty sighed. "I nearly fell asleep earlier. What about you, how do you feel?"

"With my hands," Charlotte responded absently.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Kirsty, waking up and staring intently at Charlotte.

"Oh shit!" thought Charlotte to herself. "That was something that Simon used to say."

"Withering down," Charlotte said, saying the first words that came into her head. "I'm shattered."

Kirsty didn't say anything but just stared at Charlotte. "Ooh, isn't that the school bus?" queried Charlotte pointing at an approaching bus.

"Come on, we'll have to run or we'll miss it," said Kirsty, snapping out of her trance.

During the bus journey Charlotte noticed that Kirsty kept staring at her. After ten minutes of this she asked, "What?! You keep looking at me. Don't tell me I'm getting a spot?"

"No," Kirsty giggled. "You just remind me of someone and I was just trying to see how close the resemblance is."

"Oh?" Charlotte replied, her heart sinking. "Who?"

"Oh someone I knew where I used to live," Kirsty replied, trying to keep control. "I've written a few times but had no response. I even tried ringing but the number is unobtainable."

"Perhaps this person moved?"

"It looks like it, but it certainly wasn't planned. Our families were very close. I'd known Simon since we were little."

"Was he your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he was. He was so kind and loving. You look a lot like him and you have a similar sense of humour."

"I tell you what. Why don't I ring Kelly and see if you can stay for tea. If so, then we can do our homework together and you can tell me about him."

"I'll ring my parents and ask their permission as well," said Kirsty as she pulled out her mobile phone.

It was quickly agreed and thirty minutes later they were both sprawled on the sitting room floor discussing the lesson on glacial activities. Kelly smiled to herself as she eavesdropped just beyond the door. Charlotte's training looked like it had worked as she was still the same person, but just in girl mode. If Charlotte had been radically different then Kirsty wouldn't have noticed.

Throughout the meal, the two girls chatted away with each other like they had known each other for years; which in fact they had. As the meal came to an end Charlotte said, "Thanks Kelly for letting me have Kirsty round for tea."

"You both seem to have found it useful, doing your homework together," observed Kelly.

"It was fun," Kirsty agreed.

"And we want to wash-up," added Charlotte. "You cooked so we wash-up, it will also give us chance to gossip."

"You're on," laughed Kelly. "I have some work to do, so let me know when you are finished. Kirsty, what time do you have to be home?"

"I'm not sure," admitted Kirsty. "We only moved down here recently and I've not been out like this since. I used to go to a friends house all the time, but I'd known them for years."

"I better ring and find out then. I'll also introduce myself to save her worries."

Charlotte and Kirsty tackled the washing up with much jollity. Kirsty couldn't believe how well she was getting on with Charlotte; it was like they had known each other for years.

"What do you think of Harry?" asked Kirsty as she finished the last plate. "I think he's taken a shine to you."

"You what?!" exclaimed Charlotte, nearly dropping the plate she was drying.

"You know, Harry Walsh, the one with the large hands. They do say that all body parts are in proportion."

"I..I.." Charlotte stuttered. She was rather shocked at what Kirsty was saying. "He isn't my type. Anyway what about you, since you seem so interested?"

"I already have a boyfriend and I know how well endowed he is," her face taking on a dreamy look. "My parents moved away but I'm sure we will stay together. We plan to try to go to the same university."

"I thought you said earlier that you were having difficulty getting hold of, Simon?"

"Yes Simon and I can't get hold of him," she said her face falling. "I just wish I knew what was happening. My Dad has to travel back to that area one day this week and is going to investigate."

"So, what was he like in bed?"

"I'm not a slapper!"

"I wasn't accusing you of being a slapper."

"Sorry, I never slept with him. We both thought we were too young and would wait till we were older."

"Too young?" Charlotte replied, knowing full well the real answer.

"Yes and well, we both promised our parents that we wouldn't. That probably sounds strange to you."

"Not really, I made a similar promise to my parents before they died."

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Kirsty flinging her arms round me. "There am I lamenting about not having my boyfriend around and you have lost your parents."

"It is hard but it is something I have to learn to live with," Charlotte replied, not wanting Kirsty to take her arms away. They not only provided her the comfort she needed but also was a nice excuse to be close without causing any further suspicions.

"That's all settled," said Kelly as she walked into the kitchen.

Kirsty gave a small squeak and quickly removed her arms from Charlotte. Charlotte almost sighed in pleasure but caught herself just in time and just gave a small thank you nod to Kirsty. All of this was noticed by Kelly who stored it away for future use.

"What's settled?" asked Charlotte, her eyes slightly misty.

"Your mother," said Kelly to Kirsty, "will come and collect you in about an hour. She was glad to hear that you'd done your homework and you should relax for once."

"Oh Mum," lamented Kirsty to herself as she turned red.

"Are you okay, Charlotte?" asked Kelly. "You seem upset."

"It's my fault," injected Kirsty. "I said something which made her remember her parents."

"It isn't your fault. It is something I need to come to terms with. What better time than with my new best friend."

"Since you've finished in here, why don't you go and relax. If you need me, I'll be in my study."

Kelly watched the children disappear out of the kitchen. She was so tempted to listen in but she knew that they needed their privacy. She just hoped that Kirsty would be able to help reintegrate Charlotte back into life without causing issues between them. She wasn't quite sure, but it looked like Kirsty was embarrassed at being caught hugging Charlotte.

The sound of the door bell brought Kelly's mind back from the pain of doing her accounts. She was unsure if Charlotte would go to the door or not but if she did then Kelly wanted to be there to make sure things didn't get too difficult. In the end the children were no different from any other children; they ignored the doorbell.

"Hi, you must be Mrs Wilson," said Kelly as she opened the front door. "Why don't you come in? I'm afraid that Kirsty might not be ready yet."

"Nothing changes," smiled Mrs Wilson as she followed Kelly into the house. "She was like that before we moved into the area. I thought it might have just been the infatuation with the person she was with. Perhaps I was wrong."

"Infatuation?"

"Perhaps that's the wrong word. She used to spend hours with her boyfriend."

"Didn't you like him?"

"You have me all wrong. I used to love Simon as if he was one of my own. The day that my husband got transferred was the worst days of our lives. I knew how heartbroken Kirsty would be and I was right."

"I'm sure she will find someone else," said Kelly trying to turn the conversation away from what she knew.

"Since moving she has done nothing but wonder when Simon would write or ring her. I've tried to get her to make new friends but nothing has come out of it till now."

"Well I think it's nice that Charlotte has found a friend in Kirsty," said Kelly. "I'll be sad to see Charlotte go; she is such a wonderful girl."

"See her go?"

"I am only fostering Charlotte for a short period of time. She will soon be passed back to Social Services where she will either go into a children's home or, hopefully into longer term foster care. She is probably too old to be adopted."

"She will still be in the area, won't she?"

"I doubt it. She was placed with me as she required specific care. She is actually from outside this county.

"Kirsty will be so upset. They have only just become friends."

"It won't be for a few months till she moves. She needs to get her feet back into her education and finish the term off. It will give chance for something more permanent to be found. Now let's go find the children, it's strange how neither of them heard the door bell."

"Opportunistic deafness," agreed Mrs Wilson with a laugh. The corners of her mouth showing the fact she smiled and laughed a lot.

"Girls," said Kelly opening the door. "Kirsty's mum is here."

Mrs Wilson peeked in expecting to find total devastation; instead she saw her daughter sat on the settee chatting away with Charlotte.

"Time to go home," Mrs Wilson said to Kirsty. "You'll see Charlotte tomorrow."

"Okay," Kirsty sighed, glad that she had a friend again. They walked together towards the front door. "Bye Charlotte."

"See you tomorrow," reassured Charlotte. When the front door closed Charlotte raced upstairs to get a discreet but longer view. The security light at the front of the house gave an illuminated view of events. Her heart sorrowfully sunk further into her chest as she watched Kirsty climb slowly into her mothers car and saw it slowly disappear.

"Do you fancy a hot chocolate?" gently asked Kelly after Charlotte had continued to stare at the now dark driveway for several minutes.

Charlotte gave a weak smile and said, "That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

They both curled up on the settee sipping the taste of their night-time beverage. Nothing was said for a while, Charlotte was unsure what to say and Kelly patiently waited giving Charlotte the opportunity to talk.

"How long were you at the doorway?"

"Long enough," smiled Kelly waiting for Charlotte to get to the real thing that was on her mind.

"I thought you said you wouldn't spy on me?"

"I wasn't spying. I wanted to make sure you were okay. As soon as Kirsty had left the house you bolted upstairs like a startled deer."

Charlotte again fell silent and continued to sip on the comforting taste of the milky chocolate. Kelly waited, not saying anything. "Why?" was the simple question that broke through Charlotte's lips.

Kelly didn't say anything for a while as she let Charlotte collate her thoughts. The opening shot was too loaded, as if to try and goad Kelly. "Why what?"

"Why all of this? Why the accident? Why did I end up a girl? Why did I have to end up in the same school as Kirsty? Why? Why?"

Kelly continued to silently sip her hot chocolate, making sure that Charlotte didn't have more to add. When Charlotte added nothing else, Kelly plainly answered, "Why does anything happen? Why were we born where we were? Why do people become good or bad? Why do people dye of illnesses or disease? Nobody can answer those questions. Some people might try but I never studied philosophy and would have no idea where to start."

Kelly finished her hot chocolate and placed the empty mug onto the coffee table. "You seemed to enjoy yourself with Kirsty?"

Charlotte gave an audible sigh of contentment. "It was wonderful to spend time like that again. It was like we'd never been apart. Her eyes sparkled, just as I remembered. She is such a wonderful person as she lives her life without malice."

"Sounds wonderful."

"It is," again wistfully sighed Charlotte. "Just being in the same room makes me seem to forget everything else in the world."

"Yet you seem frustrated."

"I'm living a lie. I was born a man and now I'm trapped in this female body. I have periods and I'm starting to grow breasts. Kirsty deserves better than me."

"Does she feel the same?"

"I don't know. She seems to be happy around me but I don't know if that is because she has feelings for me, or if it is something else. How could she love me as I'm now a girl?"

"You are essentially the same person as you were six months ago. Yes you have undergone a traumatic event and that will shape your future but your basic personality is still the same."

"Will Kirsty still love me then?"

"Would you like her to?"

"Yes," was the instant response. "Well, no. Oh I don't know. It would be wonderful if she did still love me but if she knew then she would probably be repulsed. She needs to find someone that would make her happy, rather than cling to her previous relationship with me."

"How would you feel if you saw Kirsty kissing another boy?"

"If she was happy then I'd be fine."

Kelly didn't say anything but just looked at Charlotte through her upper eyelashes. "Okay, I'd hate it but there isn't much I can do, is there? It would be more painful for her if she knew the truth. Do you agree?"

"It isn't for me to agree or disagree," Kelly said. "You have to decide what you do yourself. I'm just glad you understand that no matter what happens it won't be easy, for you or for her."

* * *

"What did you think of Charlotte?" Kirsty asked her Mum during the drive home.

"You seem to get on well with her," Mrs Wilson said, avoiding the question. "It is good to see you socialising again."

"I never stopped socialising. I was just more worried about when I will hear about Simon; it has been a long time."

"Well Dad was across there on business today," explained Mrs Wilson. "I might have asked him to see if they are okay."

"Oh Mum, why didn't you say earlier?" exclaimed Kirsty, wanting to fling her arms round her mums neck. Only just refraining as her mum was driving.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Anyway, I didn't get chance to tell you as you arranged to do your homework with Charlotte. I take it you did get your homework done?"

"Of course I got it done. We also touched on the last few weeks work so it refreshed my memory and gave Charlotte a help with catching up."

"And I presume you did a lot of other chatting."

"Well, duh!"

"I'll have none of that," laughed Mrs Wilson. "Your Dad was just pulling in as I came to get you, so let's see what he has to say."

"Ah, the wanderer returns," smiled Mr Wilson as they entered the house. "I saw you leave as I got home and was glad of the message you left. So Kirsty, did you have fun?"

"It was fine," replied Kirsty in a deadpan manner. She then got more excited, "Did you see Simon? How was he? Why didn't he ring or write?"

"The house was empty and has been sold. The new owners are due to move in next week."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Kirsty looking shocked.

"Let me explain. It seems Simon's parents died in an accident. I heard there was a wonderful funeral for them that lasted a lot longer than arranged. So many people wanted to talk about them."

Kirsty and her mum burst into tears at the mention of Simon's parent's death. It was something none of them were expecting nor desired. Kirsty thought of Simon's parents as secondary parents as she was as often at their house.

"What happened to Simon?" asked Kirsty in between sobs.

"Nobody seemed to know. It seems he was there for a short time to sort items out and then disappeared. I will try to find out. He won't know how to contact us so it is up to us to find him."

"You will find him, won't you?"

"We will do our best," agreed Mr Wilson. "That is all we can do. Now it is late. Go and get ready for bed."

Twenty minutes later Kirsty was in bed. She didn't settle though as her thoughts kept turning to Simon and the fun times they had together. It was bad enough that she had to move away but now Simon was gone.

While Kirsty tossed and turned her parents sat downstairs discussing the situation.

"How are we going to find Simon?" asked Mrs Wilson.

"Tomorrow, why don't you try ringing Brenda in Social Services? She knew us well from the fostering we did. She might be able to help."

"That sounds a good idea. I'll get onto that tomorrow. Talking of things like that I met Charlotte today."

"Your note said you'd gone to collect Kirsty from their house. How similar to Simon is she?"

"There is quite a resemblance and she seems to get on really well. It seems that Kelly is fostering her for a short time. When the summer holidays come it will be quite likely that Charlotte will be moving out of the area."

"That will devastate Kirsty," surmised Mr Wilson.

"That it will."

"Are you suggesting that we look at fostering Charlotte?"

"Would we be able to cope with three children?"

"We have the room and the love to give. Finances shouldn't be a problem, especially with my new position. However, we hardly know Charlotte."

"True, let's not mention it to Kirsty yet but why don't we make some discrete enquiries. If she and Kirsty stay good friends then I think we should. Heck, I hate to see someone get messed around by Social Services. She is a girl who needs stability and that's something we can give."

"You don't have to preach to the converted. Let us see how things look by next Friday and then we can take it from there. One thing for you to think about is if we do have extra children, the special present we planned for Kirsty at the end of term."

"I did think of it. I don't think it should be a problem and should be more fun."

Notes:

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