Anonymous
Anonymous
They were staring. And I hated it.
But you have no idea what I’m talking about, right? Right.
Here it is. A week ago, everything was normal, and I was just a kid. Some guy no one noticed. I liked that, I pursued that. I wasn't in the yearbook; not even my name, although I had to promise a huge favor for that. Come to think of it, they never collected… Anyway. I had no friends to speak of, but that suited me. I rarely spoke, teachers never even bothered to try to get me to answer a question. Total anonymity. No one looked at me twice, most people, not even once.
But a week ago, I caught a girl staring. Then another. Even just the two was unusual for me. I figured it must've been the way I'd dressed that day, I'd gotten a little bold, and moved a tiny bit out of my usual neutral tones. Not that I have any particular clothing style, I can honestly say I’ve never shopped for clothing anywhere that wasn’t a thrift store. (Well, unless I was going for socks and underwear. Some things are just too gross to even consider, you know?) It’s just my clothes are generally gray, brown, or black. My process for picking out clothing involved reaching into a basket of unfolded shirts, pulling one out, and wearing it with one of my three pairs of blue jeans. I don’t know that I even owned dress clothes, and while I ought to have looked rather out of place during the things like the early service on Sunday, I never got into any trouble or got any dirty looks. I’m getting off topic. The point is, I don’t dress to be noticed. Same thing that day, nothing fancy, but apparently the red I was experimenting with, (It’s hard enough finding clothes that fit me in thrift stores, I thought it might get easier if I branched out, color wise.) was enough to get me spotted. No big deal, right? I could fix that the next day.
And so, the next day, Tuesday, I made a conscious effort not to stand out. Walk quickly, but not too quickly, dodge and weave through a crowd, but don't show any grace or finesse. Avoid eye contact; don't speak in more than one word sentences. I was flawless, on top of my game. The master of attention avoidance.
But they were watching. They still saw me! A cheerleader here, a goth there, one of the art kids, two of the preps. More girls than yesterday. All looking at me. I didn't look any better than I did last week, did I? It could've been.
I wasn’t hugely attractive, standing at around 6’1, with a drooling volcano of reddish-brown hair which I kept as long as masculinely possible. That was about as exciting as it gets. My eyes are the standard, boring shade of blue you can find on lots people. If you’re in a room with more than ten others, take a look around, I’m sure you’ll find a similar enough specimen. I wasn’t particularly fond of my nose, as it was a bit big for my liking. It was actually kind of unattractive. Overall, I’d not changed much since last week. Still, being more unattractive was worth a shot.
The following day, I made an effort to look less… well, good-looking. I didn't shave, barely brushed my hair, that sort of thing. It didn't matter. There were more looking at me. At least one in every class, and at lunch, an entire table was watching. AN ENTIRE TABLE! AT THE SAME TIME! It was one of those nerdy book club tables, you know, where they chatter inanely about their latest fictional crush? That's what I was dealing with. That level of attention. After lunch, I saw groups of girls in the halls. You guessed it. They were staring at me as I passed.
Thursday, I stayed home, faking sick. Eager for a reprieve from all the eyes, I lounged about for a bit, surfing some channels. Made myself some breakfast. (I'm one of those people who believes in those breakfasts you see on TV, with the eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, cereal, one glass of milk, and one of orange juice.) I rather enjoyed the opportunity to relax without care, like how it used to be. But, for some reason, I was still uneasy. I watched some more TV, surfed the net, and finished a book, I'd been working through. At around noon, I heard the mail arrive, so I went out to check it. I never walked out the front door.
"I'll be damned."
There were skippers. You know, the kids who show up to class occasionally, but most days don't bother? They were on the other side of the street, in the field. STARING. AT. MY. HOUSE! Again, it was a group of girls. No men. I was really beginning to get worried. I'd managed to convince myself over the course of the morning that I was simply being paranoid, but this trashed that notion. They WERE watching. Why? I didn't know.
I slowly backed into the house, and locked the door. The gesture felt so feeble. I couldn't hide from anyone. They knew where I lived, probably even knew which room was mine. When I looked back out, I couldn’t see them, but it didn't matter, they were there. That brief, sweet feeling of calm was now gone. I dashed out to get the mail and ran back inside looking over my shoulder the whole time.
I'd have to go back tomorrow, I knew that much. My mother wouldn't let me go two days in a row without evidence of illness. Maybe I could get some fake vomit…? No. I'd need to leave the house for that, and the mall was the last place I wanted to go if I was aiming to avoid teenage girls. Besides, I was being ridiculous. So what if they stared? They couldn't do anything. At least, not with all those people around school. Funny that I'd be taking solace in the idea of being surrounded by people, given the way I like things to be.
The next day was hard. I was all set to force myself to ignore the stares most of the day, but during first period, we had an assembly. None of the girls were watching the speaker. Not one. They were all staring at me. None of the guys even noticed, and the speaker kept on talking, it was like it wasn't even happening. But I knew it was. As I ran out of the gym in the middle of the assembly, it was all I could do not to scream.
Now, you need to know, my second period doesn't have a seating chart, and I was running a little late, due to both time spent calming down in the bathroom, and from trying to avoid the big crowds that lately only seem to hold females. So, of course, when I arrived to class, there was only one seat left. Dead center of the front row. And you better believe the girls had shoved all the guys away from that spot and were sitting in all the surrounding seats. I was terrified.
Each class passed like that up till lunch, but no one commented on it. I was practically shaking in fear by lunch. I know I twitched at least once. How was no one seeing this? I grabbed my food, and went for my table, but it was full. Every table had at least a couple people at it. I don't know what your school is like, but at mine, that's never ever happened, EVER. Even so, there it was staring me in the face. I recovered quickly, and made towards the doors, thinking I'd eat outside, but I never made it that far. For every table I passed, one of the girls got up and asked me to sit with them. I hurriedly declined, of course, but by the time I was anywhere near the doors, I was so afraid that I was hyperventilating, and I passed out before I could make it.
Obviously, I woke up in the nurse's office, with said nurse smiling down at me.
"You are one popular guy."
"I try not to be."
She frowned a little at my words, but gestured towards a pile of flowers. "Girls have been leaving them since you collapsed. A couple of them were so worried they had to wait for you to wake up before they would go back to class. I'll let them in."
"Please no…" But she was already gone, and she left the door open.
Great. There were three of them. It looked like the set up for a joke, 'So, a cheerleader, a nerd, and a goth chick all walk into the nurse's office.' Ugh. And here I am, laying on this uncomfortable bed, most of my possessions in the doctor's custody. I wasn't going anywhere. Quite trapped.
The group was all rather stereotype-y, but I’ll go ahead and describe them anyway. The goth had dyed her hair black, with blue tips, and she was wearing a T-shirt with an ornate skull on it. Her cargo pants were torn in several places, but it had happened naturally, she hadn’t bought them that way. (Did you know you can do that? How ridiculous! Why would you pay for jeans with less structural integrity than they ought to have? Worse yet, they actually cost more!) She had several piercings on her face, including one through her eyebrow. Her red eyes were probably contacts, although for some reason that didn’t seem right.
The nerd didn’t venture much outside her clique’s clichés either. A Legend of Zelda shirt, some loose blue jeans, and even thick glasses. She had red, curly hair, and her eyes were green. Her backpack had all sorts of writing on it, most of which were likely in-jokes her friends put there.
The cheerleader was the one who veered the furthest from the stereotypes, she actually wasn’t blond. Her brown hair was relatively short, and she wasn’t even wearing a skirt. But that’s where it ended. She was easily the prettiest of the three, objectively, although I don’t usually like that kind of look. She was thin but muscular, and abnormally tall for a girl, although still shorter than me. As I mentioned, she wasn’t wearing a skirt. Instead, she had white capris on, and one of those shirts that shows a bit of your belly to everyone.
"Hi!" The cheerleader spoke first, and boy did she sure sound cheerful. Let's have a large group of men stalk her for a week, and see how she is then. "My name's Tammy!"
I ignored her.
The nerd tried next. "I'm Carla."
I turned to look out the window.
Then the goth. "I'm (deep breath) Anna-Sophia-Maria-Chelsea-Rebecca."
I admit, that caught me by surprise. I must have visibly reacted, despite my best efforts, because the other two smiled, and she kept on talking.
"Just making sure you weren't deaf. Name's Alyssa."
I was stuck. I'd already acknowledged them, if accidentally. I couldn't pretend they weren't here. That's sort of an all or nothing ploy, childish or not. But I wasn't making this easy for them, whatever this was. So I did the only thing left to me.
I silently stared. Turnabout is fair play after all.
A couple of seconds passed, and then the goth burst out laughing. The other two looked confused, but I guess she'd picked up on what I was doing. And she thought it was funny.
I sneered. I hadn't realized it yet, but this wasn't a one sided conversation anymore.
"You think this is funny?!"
"I think it's hilarious."
"Well, I think you're an ass."
"That's certainly true." She replied, grinning. It was then I realized she'd won. I was talking to her. Using big sentences. Conversing. Damn. "So, are you gonna tell us your name?"
"Go burn in a corner."
The nerd (Carly?) nervously shuffled up. "We already know it, but we're being polite." She seemed distressed that I wasn't cooperating.
"William." I said. I was getting sick of this already; I wanted it over with, whatever ‘it’ was.
Tamara (or something) spoke next. "Well, Will, we're…"
"William." I insisted, a little viciously. If they're going to stalk me all week they could at least get my name right.
"William," She continued, although she seemed unused to being interrupted. Must come with being popular. Cheerleaders are always popular, right?. "We're here with a proposition for you."
Alyssa interjected, "It's not so much a choice, as it is an opportunity to avoid us forcing you to choose correctly."
She was shushed by the nerd. Very loudly.
'Tamantha' continued. "We've noticed you're all alone. We've noticed you have no social life. You've got no friends. We're offering you that, along with protection and all the benefits that come with those things."
"I don't want any of that."
The cheerleader gasped, and looked vaguely horrified.
"Now who's being an ass?" That was Alyssa interjecting once more. She was consequently shushed by 'She-Carl'.
I growled at her, and she smirked.
"Anyway," Tammy (I've run out of joke names.) was trying to get us back on track. She still looked a little shaken by what I'd said. I guessed she was one of those 'Power of Friendship' types. Whatever. "We're offering you that, and all you have to do is agree to one thing."
"He won't do it. He'll chicken out." Again with that annoying goth-child. This time, though, Carla didn't say anything to her.
Now's where the conversation paused awkwardly. I guess I was supposed to ask what the condition was, but honestly, I wasn't interested.
Tammy affirmed my suspicions when she said, "Don't you want to know what it is?"
"Didn't you hear me say I didn't want any of that stuff? I was serious, you know. Why would I agree to some ‘condition’ I won't like, for a bunch of 'benefits', which, in my opinion, are anything but?"
Carla surprised me by be the next one to speak. Shout, actually. "You… You jerk! We're trying to beg so nice to you, why are you being so mean?!"
I just silently stared again. This time she caught it.
She blushed, "Oh, that's why. Still..." She trailed off; her tiny temper had apparently already run dry.
Tammy had gathered herself up, and was prepared to finish her speech. Before I could cut her off, she said something that shut me up. Something big.
"We want you to become a girl."
My mind froze. I was back to being horrified. A week ago, I wouldn't have believed it was possible, but now… well, even now, it was a stretch, but some small part of me believed that they could do it. After all, no one had noticed them staring at me all week long. That was practically magic in itself, so, why the hell not?
"Well, William?"
"…" Was my eloquent reply.
Alyssa was snickering again. "Look at his face! He's gone all white! Seen a ghost, Will? Your masculinity, perhaps?" If I had been on top of the situation, I’d have commented on that awful joke. However, I wasn’t. Obviously.
I never actually bothered answering Tammy or Alyssa. I simply waited a couple seconds and suddenly leapt off the bed, leaving my belongings behind. They were too surprised to chase me.
I was dodging and weaving through the halls. My years of avoidance had made me a master at it. If running through a crowd were a sport, I was grand champ material. All attempts to remain anonymous gone from my movement, I was pulling out the good moves. Leaping over crouching people, sliding down banisters, the works. But even as I went, I heard the whispers. I'd been hearing them all week really, they came with the stares. I was the talk of the town. Well, the female half. However, now I was listening to what they were saying. Actually processing the words, rather than tuning them out.
"Why's he running?"
"He couldn't've said no?"
"He'll be really pretty, I bet."
"And then we'll have a slumber party, and do each other's hair…"
"I hope he likes chick flicks!"
"…can't wait to teach the newbie how to shop!"
But the most disturbing thing was this one girl blocking my exit. She was pale, with black hair, but somehow she didn’t look like a goth. It might have been the lack of skull themed clothing, although she was dressed mostly in black. She looked almost as scared as I was. But she was afraid of me, of talking to me. Looking closely, she was actually really pretty. It seemed like she knew what I was thinking, because she started to blush. Her expression changed slowly to a small sad smile.
"I know what you chose. It's really too bad, we could've hung out all afternoon. Oh well, I guess I'll see you this weekend… You know something? We'll be best friends soon…"
If my face was already twisted in horror from earlier, that would have done it. I brushed past her, growing more and more frightened. I'd forgotten that they knew where I lived… Why did I think that tomorrow or Sunday would be safe?
I spent all that afternoon fortifying my house. I told my mom it was an extra credit project.
"Yeah, the bio teacher was talking about how zombies couldn't exist, and someone suggested this as a project.
You see, whoever makes their house the safest from zombies using only what they've already got gets a bonus test grade.”
She bought it, and even helped a little. (Can you believe that? She's really that gullible. Sad, right?) It took all night, and after we finished we took pictures, for the 'project'. I convinced her I'd take it down the next day, and so, she went to bed.
I took the opportunity to search the net. The net knows everything, and something like this must've happened before, right?
I bet you were thinking I didn't find anything, right? You'd be wrong. I managed, after some digging, to find a blog started a little over a week before. It was being written buy some guy who was convinced girls could use evil magic powers or something, and that they occasionally turned guys that no one really seemed to care about into girls, using that power. As I got further in, he became convinced they were after him. I could relate, even if some of what he was saying was a tad out there. Anyway, yesterday, they apparently hit him with the same proposal I got today. Girls had been commenting on all the posts telling him he was crazy, of course, but I knew different. The post for today wasn't up yet, and it was approaching midnight. I refreshed the page.
…
The blog… it was gone. Gone. Whoever wrote it had deleted it. The only thing left was a page apologizing for riling everyone up, and that it was all a joke. The writing style seemed somewhat different, though. I didn't buy it. They had gotten him. They must've. A quick search revealed that while there weren't any blogs talking about with what I was dealing with, there were at least twenty apologizing blogs that used to talk about it.
I take back what I said before. Up until this point, I'd never been truly terrified.
I couldn't sleep all night.
My mom left for work early Saturday, so I disassembled the door block to let her out. She didn't need to know I'd be putting it right back up. I had some leftover breakfast that I'd made Thursday, but it was no comfort. Imagine that, bacon, not a comfort! I was seriously stressed.
It was at this point I realized there was no way to escape. Even knowing they were coming this weekend, I was essentially doomed. I couldn't live in this house forever; I couldn't even leave these barriers up all day! And I certainly couldn't leave, not when half of the people my age were out to get me! Even if I fought them, I'd never be able to pass it off as self defense. No one would believe me. And, if those blogs were anything to go by, by the time I had definitive proof, I wouldn't care anymore. I'd even have been willing to kill to stop them, but would I kill every girl who looked at me funny, every girl I saw? What if they got my mom in on it? She's a girl. Would I kill her? No. No, I couldn't. Even if I could've, how would I explain that? They'd lock me away for sure. And then, maybe one day they'd let in a visitor. A harmless looking girl. And we'd walk out of there together, and spend the afternoon shopping.
I was well and truly screwed.
I heard them around eleven o'clock. I was just starting to think maybe they wouldn't show; that maybe I should relax and make lunch. But no, they were here. I looked for some kind of weapon. I wasn't going to just give up. Maybe if they saw I was serious they'd leave. I found one of those big shovels for digging holes, and decided it was better than using my hands. It was all I had.
I could hear their voices. I recognized Alyssa's snickering voice after someone tried the door.
"She's barricaded herself in." A roar of giggling. There must be fifty or more. I ignored the obvious pronoun jab. "Let's rescue the poor princess from herself."
I think I was nearing insanity at this point, because I couldn't resist. In what could be considered a life or death situation, I reverted to making jokes.
"Your princess is in another castle!"
That actually got a couple of good natured laughs and some remarks like: "Oh, she's funny!"
Alyssa, unsurprisingly, decided to play along. She knocked and said: "Little girl, little girl, let us come in?"
I responded, "You won't take the hair off my chinny-chin-chin!" What? It was obvious how I was supposed to reply. Giggles again. "I don't suppose there's any way to convince you to leave?" My voice sounded more desperate than I'd intended, I was going for 'calm and confident adventure hero', but I wound up with 'scared and pathetic child'.
A symphony of voices responded, and they had obviously practiced this; with, "I don't suppose there's any way we can convince you to come out?"
"Not on your lives. I guess it's gotta be this way then, doesn't it?" Again, my words were tough, but my voice was breaking.
"Yep." Again, they spoke in unison.
Then, that girl I ran into at the door before I left yesterday walked in. Yes, I said 'walked in'. As in, without opening the door. Like a ghost. Like magic. Shit, that blogger hadn't been lying. Girls did have some kind of weird powers! Even seeing the evidence before me, it sounded dumb. But there it was, happening. I couldn't just tell her that walking through walls was impossible, and she needed to go back out and try again.
The girl gave me her small smile, and mouthed, "Sorry." She promptly began disassembling my barricade. A quick look at the nearby windows showed I was surrounded. No exits.
Okay, I realize I've said this before, but THIS, this is the point where I became truly afraid.
I gave a couple of halfhearted swings at her with my shovel, which went right through her, before I dropped it, acknowledging it as useless against the coming onslaught, and I fell to my knees. She looked so sad to be doing what she was doing, but she finished her disassembly and showed me her smile once more.
"My name's Adelaide. Friends?"
She reached for my hand, and seeing nothing to lose, I reached back.
"Friends." I meant it too; any idiot could see she really was sorry for what was going on. Of course, I was still pissed, so I added, "And as a friend, I hate you."
"I know."
With my crude door barrier down, they flooded in, and Adelaide held me close.
I was in a nasty situation, and I had no more strength to fight. Adelaide, the girl who had, in the last two minutes, walked through a wall to dismantle my defenses, my last, brief hope, and had also become my very first friend, was holding me tight. It was probably as much to comfort me as it was to hold me in place. She was on their side, after all.
Anyway, back to the encroaching crowd. I was terrified of them, but intellectually even I didn't think they looked threatening. They were just a bunch of girls, after all. Some were pretty, some not, some short and some tall, but none particularly menacing. They moved through my doorway and into my living room surprisingly quickly, given their number and the size of the door. In no time they filled the room, leaving about a foot of space from me to them, all around me. Adelaide was just holding my hand at this point, but I wasn't going to get away, anyway, so it didn't matter.
Alyssa, Carla and Tammy stepped to the front (inside?) of the circle.
Alyssa looked down at me, and smirked. "I told you earlier; this wasn't really your choice. Now then, be a good little girl and don't resist."
Carla smacked her across the back of the head. "Will you quit it? He's obviously terrified, and he's not going anywhere."
Alyssa rubbed the back of her head. "Oww! That hurt."
I snickered. She shot me a glare. Yeah, we just can't seem to get along.
Adelaide spoke next. "Can we get this over with? He can't take much more, and neither can I." She squeezed my hand. I really wondered why it was she liked me so much. And, while I was at it, why I liked her so much.
"Yes, we can." That was Tammy, who had been silent until now. She'd been the one who'd thought I should've jumped at the chance to become a girl and have hundreds of friends. I still don't like the idea, but although I never wanted friends, I'm already liking having Adelaide to count on, and we've been friends for all of five minutes, so I'm wondering if the 'having hundreds friends thing' would be so bad. Maybe they could have saved me from this?
Carla was talking again. "Sorry for scaring the crap out of you yesterday." I believed SHE was sorry, but I didn't think Alyssa was. "We're all gonna move in close now, okay?" She made to step forward.
"Will you answer a question for me, before I'm gone?"
Carla stopped moving and she looked confused, "Gone? What do you mean?"
"Well…" I explained about the blogs I'd found online, about people who were going through the same thing I was, and how the blogs had been erased, and replaced with posts saying it was just a joke. I mentioned how I'd surmised that they were gonna screw with my mind.
I heard a choking sound. I looked back at Adelaide, and she had tears streaming down her face. "Sniff… No wonder you were so scared! It must've been awful! We're not going to do that to you!" She was back to holding me tightly. Her tears (and snot) getting my shoulder all wet.
I looked around, and even Alyssa looked shocked. Carla whispered at her, "You see, this is why we don't scare the crap out of people!"
Tammy was crying as well. "What…" she wiped her eyes, "What was your question?"
I had a lot of confidence back now that I knew I wasn't facing immanent brain death. "Why? Why do you need to do this?"
Alyssa answered my question, but she was looking at the floor, and she was hard to hear. "It's for your own good. You're an attention null."
"A what?"
"An attention null. Believe it or not, it's actually really difficult to even acknowledge you exist. That's why we've been staring all week; we had to while we were preparing this, just to remember you were even there! Didn't you ever wonder why you were alone all your life?"
"Um… not really, I just made the most of it."
"Alyssa," Tammy interjected, "You need to look back up, or you'll forget where you are again."
She did, and her face was all red and puffy. Was everyone in this room crying? Maybe they were all better people than I'd thought. Even Alyssa.
Alyssa continued, and made an effort not to sniffle. "You're one of the lucky ones, most attention nulls die shortly after birth, when they are forgotten by the doctors and their own mothers."
It was my turn to look shocked. Mom had always been distant, but was it really because she cared SO MUCH that she was piercing the attention thing? Was that the only reason she could see me at all? Was that why dad left? Was it my fault? No, I can't get into that now.
"But wait," I said, "If that's true, how come I can get grades and stuff?"
"Can we explain this later? Once we can actually focus?" That was just a random someone in the crowd. "I'm getting really tired of forgetting what I'm doing and trying to leave." Several people said, "Amen!"
"Good point." Tammy said tiredly, "Long story short, becoming a girl fixes the attention issue. And no, it's not because women crave attention. Only men can be attention nulls." I wasn't even thinking that, even given recent events, I’m not sexist. "Can we save the rest for later now that you know we aren't here to rape your brain?"
"…" It all made a sort of sense, but I was still conflicted, to say the least.
Adelaide whispered in my ear. "You can do it, William."
Sigh. Why do I trust her so much? "…Okay." I closed my eyes. Tight.
I heard them all step forward, and I flinched. Adelaide held me tighter. And then someone else was holding me, and then two more people. Soon I was in the center of one giant group hug. I opened one eye. All the girls in the room were in on this giant hug-fest, and what's more, they were all glowing. Their respective glows weren't all the same color, but when the colors all combined together it looked sort of pink.
Adelaide whispered again, "You need to finish it."
I wasn't big on hugs, but one doesn't argue with a room full of glowing girls, even if they were being relatively friendly. I was sure that would be common sense, were glowing girls to become a common thing. I carefully looked around, so as not to dislodge anyone, and I knew just who I had to grab.
As I wrapped my arms around her, I whispered in her ear, "I forgive you, Alyssa." I could tell by the way her body let go of all sorts of tension that it was exactly what she needed to hear. She'd been blaming herself for my terror. As if it was her fault.
I hadn't noticed it until now, but I was glowing as well, sort of. My light was a sickly grayish green. Even just seeing it for a split second, I knew there was something wrong with it. The ugly glow started to crack, though, just like a shell, and blue light shot out of the cracks.
I heard murmurs of, "It's working!" and "Alright!" That sort of thing.
The blue light finally broke out of the green, and the ugly light disappeared. But it wasn't over yet. My blue glow was getting really bright, and had almost filled the room, when the not-quite-pink of everyone else's combined glows flared up. I knew this was it for my time being a guy, but I felt so good having that green light gone, that I didn't exactly care at that moment. The blue light was getting impaled by the pink all around the room, and I started to feel really good.
Have you ever had a full body massage? I hadn't at this point, but later, that's what I'd compare the feeling to. My body felt all nice and tingly, the more the pink light over took the blue, the stronger the feeling got. The pink light grew until it was covering everything but me. I was still blue, but the light couldn't shine out of me anywhere.
I noticed it on my fingers first, I couldn’t feel them. I let go of Alyssa to take a look. She opened her eyes to see what I was doing, and smiled when she saw my fingertips were as pink as the rest of the room. The blue light was pushing back with all it had, and I got the feeling that if I tried, I could back the blue light up and it would win. However, that same feeling came with the knowledge that doing so would allow the green light to come back, and so I did nothing. The blue light flared, as if it were angry, and turned a deeper shade. Suddenly I really wanted to push back with the blue light. I held my ground, but it was extremely tempting. The pink was on my forearms now, and I could see the differences in size and shape it brought with it. I was equal parts afraid and fascinated. I'd have such small hands! If they were anything to go by, I was going to lose at least a foot! The blue light started to advance again.
"William! What's wrong?!" That was Adelaide, and her shout stopped the blue light, however, the pink wasn't going any further.
"I'm going to be so short!" I cried. This might not sound like a big deal to you, but my height was very important to me. I could've played basketball, if I could've gotten a coach to see me.
"You've got to stop fighting it! It hurts!"
That did it; I didn’t know why, but I couldn't hurt her, especially not over something so petty. The rest of the people here were important too, of course, but I was disproportionally worried about Adelaide, although, again, I wasn't sure why. I quit resisting and the pink light shot forward. I could feel the spots covered by the pink now. It was almost to my shoulders.
My arms were so tiny though…
"WILL!"
"Sorry!"
The pink light started on my torso, and I had to fight the urge to help the blue light again. I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, before long, the pink light was ballooning where the blue light wasn't. At least it looked like I'd be small there, as well. The light wasn't climbing my neck, but that made sense to me. I figured the rest of me needed to be covered before it could take my head. The pink didn't slow after my sudden 'development', if anything; it seemed to move slightly faster. That made sense to me, too. It's gotta be hard to be a masculine blue light when the body you're shining from has, well, such feminine attributes. I could only imagine what would happen what would happen when the pink took over the other area. Not that I'd have to imagine for long, because most of my stomach was pink at this point. I quickly reached the point where I assumed I had little time left. The pink light slowed drastically.
"What now?" Adelaide shouted between grunts of pain.
"I guess you could say the pink light's reached my 'critical mass' and the blue light doesn't wanna give it up!"
I heard a couple of pained chuckles in the room, but the atmosphere was thick.
"Will, either you help us out here, or we give up! This really hurts!" Alyssa yelled. “Push with us!”
Could I do that? Push with the pink light? It was covering most of my body, so I supposed it was possible. But could I do that to myself? There's a huge difference between having your masculinity taken, and throwing it away. I wanted to push back with the blue! I didn't want to work with the pink!
They were starting to scream.
I pushed.
All the way down to my ankles.
I started to shake. The blue was practically falling out of my feet. And I couldn't see it anywhere else. I was really scared, but the screams had stopped. I heard them crying in relief. Or was that me? I couldn’t see anything anymore, nothing but the blue glow originating from my face.
Regardless, I had done it. They weren't screaming anymore.
Someone wiped my face, and I thought I heard her, whoever she was, say, "Oh, honey…" but I couldn't see who it was through the blue light that was hanging onto my head. Apparently, the crying had been me, because I could feel how wet my face was in the spots that hadn't been dried.
Pink. It was snaking up my neck now. I tried to push back, to slow it even just a little, but I suddenly lost the ability to feel the blue and consequently my head, just like I couldn't feel the pink on my hands towards the start. Speaking of the pink light, I could feel as it skipped my face for the moment, instead going for my hair. It lengthened it, causing it to fall down my back, where it scratched a couple of itches on my shoulder blades. I could see the blue light coming from my face, but it didn't feel like the last part of me left was my face, it felt like I had a full body but I was missing a face. It was really creepy.
I felt my lips get smaller when the pink light overtook them, just like had happened with the rest of me, but they also felt fuller. Feeling both sensations at the same time was rather odd. Then, my nose lost a lot of mass. Knowing my luck, I probably had one gotten saddled with of those cute little noses.
As weird as it felt not having a face, not having eyes was even weirder. You know how they say the eyes are the doorway to the soul? That’s how it felt, like I had no soul, or something. But the feeling, while novel, was gone quickly.
It was finished, I was done. There was no blue left anywhere, and even the pink was fading. I was almost able to see some of the skin on my new arms. Hairless. Huh.
The pink light faded away completely, and my feet touched the ground. I hadn't even realized I'd been floating. I guess when I got shorter; I didn't stay on the ground.
I wasn't even on my feet for a second before I started to fall. Luckily, Tammy caught me. Must be all that cheer practice.
I was already mostly asleep, as I was suddenly completely exhausted, but I managed a, "Thanks, all of you…" before I passed out.
When I woke up, I was in my bed. I looked around, and the clock told me it was one o'clock, about two hours had passed since I'd last checked the time. I had no idea how long the actual change had taken, though, since my last clock check had been before the girls broke through my barricades. Speaking of which, the blockades on my windows, and presumably around the house, had been taken down. I'd have to thank the girls for that.
"Will! You're awake!" Three voices shouted in unison. I turned around, and there were Alyssa, Carla, and Tammy. But where was…?
Alyssa face-palmed. "Could you be any more obvious?"
I guess my worries were painted on my face. Or something. What can I say? I was worried about my first friend, last I’d heard from her, she was crying out in pain. Pain I was the cause of. Some friend I am.
Alyssa sighed. "She never left your bedside."
I turned around. Sure enough, there was a hand laying right about where mine had been. I scrambled across the bed and saw the sleeping body of Adelaide. I turned back toward the others, pacified, but I accidentally looked into the mirror. Drat. I'd forgotten it was there. Oh well, it's not like I could stop myself now.
I moved slowly, like a trance, and that disturbingly cute, depressingly short, and all-around little, brown-haired girl in the mirror did too. I was so small compared to my previous self that I was wearing one of my shirts like a dress. A short dress, sure, but really, that was worse, and not better. Short dresses were sexy.
Goddammit! I totally had one of those cute little noses I was so worried about. I tried to frown, but I just ended up pouting and the way my nose wrinkled was even cuter! Ugh. My eyes were largely unchanged, although they were a slightly lighter blue than they had been. My mouth, however, was completely feminine. I might as well admit it. No way these girls were gonna let me get away with not wearing lipstick when I had these lips. I was glad to see I had a relatively small chest, but my hind end was larger than I'd like. I looked like the sexy version of someone’s kid sister.
"If you're done trying to work out how to make out with your reflection…" Alyssa. Who else?
I shot her my best withering glare, but she just froze for a second and then started giggling madly, and the other two had to cover their mouths. Carla actually let out an "Aww…"
"I get it already! I'm ridiculously cute!" More giggles. Ugh. My voice was so…
I pouted again, which did nothing to lessen the laughter. Apparently, I was gonna need some serious practice in the mirror before I could use some respectable expressions. Alyssa rolling around on the floor was proof of that.
At least I wasn't really feeling any different, mentally. I still thought Alyssa was annoying, for instance.
"Hey! Alyssa!"
"Ha-ha… ha-ha-ha… What?" She managed to sit up straight enough to see me.
"You're an ass."
That one stopped both of us. The way my voice sounded when I swore…
Alyssa was on the ground, again, giggling hysterically, having a hard time breathing, and honestly?
So was I.
The sound of my own giggles kept me going a long time. I sounded so silly! Even Tammy and Carla gave up holding themselves back.
The loud noises must've eventually woken Adelaide, because suddenly I was accosted by a tackle hug from behind. We all started giggling. Again.
I guess I was right when I said I might've been wrong about friendship. It rocked. Giving up my manhood for this? Even I had to acknowledge it was totally worth it. Apparently, anonymity wasn't a good thing after all. Being lonely was actually kind of awful. Who knew?
The following Monday:
"Hey, Emily?"
I looked towards my very first and very best friend, as we were walking to our table where the others were waiting.
"Yes, Adelaide?"
"Look at the boys." She whispered, blushing.
I did.
They were staring. And I loved it.
Comments
Before anyone says anything...
That bit at the end there is NOT a result of forced mental change. As I said, I'll write a sequel if I get enough interest, and it would be about the weekend in between the time lapse. Rest assured, she's genuinely happy where she ended up.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Folks, We Have A Winner
That was a most enjoyable and emotionally satisfying story. What great start. Thank you for posting here.
Portia
Portia
Thank you.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I got a sense of emotional satisfaction writing it, and I'm glad that carried over to the story itself.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Truly well done!
I love it, and I want to hold you to that sequel idea! I think this may be one of the most original concepts I've seen in a while, and I MOST DEFINITELY want to read more! Bring it!
Wren
Making me blush.
I certainly will do a sequel, and I'm glad you eager to see more. I was really looking to tell a somewhat unique story, and I'm glad you feel I've accomplished that.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Anonymous Kudos
Great start to a great story.
Too bad the site refuses to accept Kudos.
Zip
Thanks.
I'm happy you liked it!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Interesting take
and the followup for the weekend explanation would be great -- but I think other than that it's very encapsulated. Expanding beyond that would take away from it, I think.
I feel the same way.
It does end nicely there, and extending it beyond that would be a shame. However, I was thinking of writing something short from Adelaide's perspective. I like her, and don't think I'll be able to tell enough about her over the course of the next one.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Anonymous
A most interesting and entertaining story. Will be fun to see if Emily is a cheerleader and how her mother likes having a daughter. But just why was William being a 'NULL' so bad?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
The reason why.
The idea of being an 'attention null' doesn't sound bad at first, but it's essentially the same as going through life as if you were invisible. You could get hit while crossing the street, for instance, and the driver wouldn't notice anyone when they got out to check what they hit. Therefore, no one would call the EMTs and, well... you get the picture. There are many situations in life that would become dangerous if no one could see you. Plus, human beings as a general rule, need human interaction. Very few people do well without friends or family looking out for them. Will was lucky, because his mother could see him, and acknowledge him, although not strongly. If that hadn't been the case, he'd have been abandoned at birth, left to die by parents who didn't remember having a child.
It's a harsh thing. I feel a little ill when I consider the kinds of things that would happen to people like this.
So, these girls were actually trying to help him, save him from an awful life.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Like an SEP field
From one of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker books. A sort of invisibility used by aliens to visit unnoticed. It works on the onlooker's brain so that when he looks at the thing generating the field, he thinks, "Somebody else's problem" (hence the name of the thing) and moves on.
This was well written. A great hook at the beginning which kept me reading and wanting more right the way in 'til the concept and characters were established, then likeable enough characters and enough ongoing mystery to keep you reading to the end.
I don't think it needs no more from Emily's point of view, but I would love to know a bit more about Adelaide (she's not Australian is she?)
Keep them coming. This is a great start and I'll be looking out for more of your contributions.
Australian?
Why do you ask? Is that a common name in Australia? You see, I can't for the life of me remember where I first heard it! It really bothers me, because it's such a pretty name.
Nice reference, by the way.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Daft and not so funny joke
Adelaide is a large city on the south coast of Australia (fifth largest in Oz). Named, so I just found out, for Queen Adelaide, who was consort to William IV, King of England in the early 19th century. It's not a name that's in common use in the UK these days, although I did once know and Adele, which I assume has the same root.
I'm not sure how much credence you can put in sites like thinkbabynames.com, but they suggest it has seen a resurgence of popularity in the US over the last four years. No reason given as to why.
I've done my share of those.
And it's not your fault, I need to learn more about Australia than what Finding Nemo taught me. (Which consists of 'P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney'.)
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Arcane also
Also resembles the power "Arcane" from rpg "Mage the Ascension"... not a gender-specific power in the game though 2 of the girls had it and none of the guys did. *g*
In the game one could turn it on & off - useful for slipping out of police custody with no records - they kept messing up pics & prints and not caring about them... CCTv cameras seem to look the other way, my character got put into drunk tank instead of higher security cell - and got released with a batch of partyers (and a few hookers) who got bailed out.. Useful ability, just remember to turn it if you get shot (the other girl's character got shot and she turned her Arcane on and we couldn't find her for a while *oops*).
Wow!
That's certainly different...
...and intense!
I was initially siding with the conspiracy theory... but then again, I'd just finished watching Doctor Who1 so I was a little more sceptical than normal. So, William was an "attention null"2,3 - but somehow the girls gradually started to notice him and had to keep staring to remind themselves of the project. Perhaps at least part of the reason he may have decided to go through with the project was that The Project had to be very serious and significant to unite girls from completely different social groups / cliques - it's not often you see a cheerleader, nerd and goth hanging out together.
I'd dearly love to see a sequel - Emily presumably choosing her new name, finding out more about The Project, as well as Adelaide's ability to phase through the front door. And I'll check back here over the next few days so that as soon as the site admins upgrade your account, I can leave you a kudo.
-oOo-
Now, away from the story itself, welcome to the TopShelf community! You'll hopefully find us a friendly bunch, and if you run out of inspiration for writing or aren't in the mood, there are oodles of other people's stories to read. Most multi-parters will have a link back to the title page and first chapter, so you can read from the start.
And if you ever find yourself with a few rainy weeks at home with nothing to do and no inspiration for stories, you could always dig your teeth into Angharad's magnum opus (Easy as Falling off a Bike)... :D It's the nearest thing we have to our very own soap opera.
-oOo-
[1] Don't worry US residents - I won't give away any spoilers as I know you don't see "The Almost People" until next week. Suffice it to say the episode answers some questions but raises some more.
[2] What Kind Of Lame Power Is Attention Null, Anyway? [4]
[3] At least it works differently to The Silence...
[3] Sorry... couldn't resist referring to a Trope. [5]
[4] And here's the obligatory self-referential footnote [5]
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
When first I wrote it...
It wasn't with this website in mind. So then, it would have even harder to guess what was ultimately going to happen. The conspiracy theory was where I was hoping readers would go. I'm glad the story still leads there, even in the context of the website.
Thanks for the welcome. I've already spotted Easy as Falling off a Bike (It's hard to miss something that size...), but I've not started it yet. I have no idea when I'll ever find the time to get through it.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
To Unyielding_Flame ; I wish
To Unyielding_Flame ;
I wish to thank you for submitting/posting this story. I truly enjoyed this story for the simple fact, as fiction, it is a wonderful story line, as science fiction, it is a believable plotline, and use of magic forces, and as a horror story, Scares the bejeepers out of me, I would be terrified too if I were the main character...
This story is very well written, good luck with future writings, and I give you an Excelent Job" for this story as well...
Sonai67
Sonai67
Horror.
Thanks for your kind words. I was worried I had underdone the suspense toward the start, because no one had commented on it yet. Sorry about your bejeepers, though. Seriously, thank you!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Thank you ,
ALISON
'a great start so don't leave us wondering.At my advanced age I don't normally like magic or
sci-fi but found this to be a compelling story and really enjoyed it.
ALISON
Wow! Really?
It's not your cup of tea, yet you still enjoyed it? That's awesome!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Welcome
Welcome to BCTS , Thanks for taking the time to write and post this story for our enjoyment . I download all my stories to read them later so I only skimmed over LOOKS GOOD again thanks and I hope this is the first of many posts HUGS RICHIE2
Thanks!
I hope you enjoy it!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
I told you so :P
Wow... awesome story, but I'd like to have some explanations. Why is he an anonymous and why does it only happen to guys? Why do the girls have magical powers?
This story has so much potential for more. I can't wait for the next part.
Btw. I told you so :P You'd obviously get more views and comments here than on devArt :)
Thank you for writing,
Beyogi
You were right!
Yeah, I tried to put those explanations into this story, but I couldn't get it to flow correctly. I actually had trouble describing the three girls, because, honestly, the William at the beginning wouldn't have cared enough to look that closely at them. I ended up put their descriptions there anyway, because the next time we saw them, when they had broken through the barricade, would have been even tougher to justify.
I'm glad you suggest I put this up over here, Beyogi. The response has been ten times better in a fraction of the time. The original (crappier) version on Deviant Art had 317 views (6 comments, 1 commenter who wasn't me) after 21 days. This has 482 views (23 comments, 13 who weren't me) after only 4 hours. I greatly appreciate your advice.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Wow, just... wow.
I loved the paranoia (maybe because I could relate, being slightly paranoid myself?),
it gave the story an exciting suspence :--)
I would love a sequel, preffereably to get some answers to what exactly is going on.
grtz & hugs,
Sarah xxx
Wow...
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! The paranoia was the part I liked writing best, and it was also the part I was sure I'd screwed up. I'm so pleased people liked it!
Everyone seems to want the sequel, so I suppose I'd best get writing, eh?
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
start
youre off to a great start. looking forward to more. keep up the good work.
robert
Thanks!
I appreciate it!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Great start!
Thanks for listening to Beyogi, they were right, it's a great story! It combined several of the finer aspects of fiction without resorting to stereotypical fiction tropes. Original and witty and scary and thought provoking; such a wonderfuil combination! I enjoyed it immensely!
And, yes, I would love to see an expansion on the story!
Diana
ps thank you for the early character devolpment, I think it really did help the story
Thank you!
It's so wonderful to log in and see all these compliments! Thanks so much!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Welcome
I don’t have time to read much that is posted here. I miss a lot of well written stories. But I try to at least start to read new authors postings. You had me hooked after two sentences. A delightfully paranoid story with a different plot.
DJ
I'm feeling spoiled!
So pleased to hear you enjoyed it. To hear that you were hooked after just two sentences? That just blows me away. You guys are so nice! You ought to be careful, all these compliments are gonna give me a huge ego!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Did I Miss It?
The explanation for why they considered him so intolerable they were willing to force this change on him. In other words, what's the motivation for this? Why did it bother them so much? He'd had the life he wanted up until then, so why force a sex change on him?
* * *
"Girls are like pianos, when they're not upright they're grand!" Benny Hill
Karen J.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Yeah, sorry...
I should've made the explanation easier to find, it comes right before the change, and it's rather short.
To further Donjo's comment, the reason they changed him was indeed because he was an 'attention null', which is more dangerous than it sounds. Besides the deaths that can result from being practically invisible from birth, there are a host of other issues, which will be explained in the sequel.
Rest assured, this was not cruelty, but kindness.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Sorry, but . . .
I didn't ask Donjo, so I didn't read his comment. Besides, I have him "ignored" anyway.
But I have this old saying I heard years ago: "Everybody is entitled to go to hell in his or her own fashion." The old bit about 'this is for your own good' has prefaced more outright lies than just about any phrase used. Generally employed by liberals to justify telling other people how to live their lives, it is also employed by religious conservatives to bolster their anti-gay, anti-trans programs. "It's for your own good, God doesn't approve of what you are doing."
Well I'm just old and cranky enough to spit in the eye of anybody trying to tell me what to do and how to live my life. Convince me I need to consider changing my, or in this case his behavior is one thing. Forcing the change in spite of his stated desires is wrong, pure and simple. If somebody is a danger to the entire world or whatever, then kill them. It's a greater "kindness" than physically forcing an undesired gender change with attendant mental changes on him. Which is exactly what those girls did.
* * *
"Girls are like pianos, when they're not upright they're grand!" Benny Hill
Karen J.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
I see what you are saying.
I certainly can see where you are coming from. I myself have issues with people trying to run my life, to change me as they see fit. I don't fit in conventional boxes, and while I'm good with that, some people aren't.
But this isn't a case of changing one's behavior, or any such thing. He was the victim of what was essentially a curse, which prevented people from seeing him at all. This would have eventually resulted in his death, or insanity. They could save him, and in the end, he was the one who made the decision. Alyssa made it seem like he didn't have a choice, back at the beginning. But if you read it carefully, you'd see it wasn't true. He knew from the time the change started he could stop it if he wanted to, but decided against it. He enjoyed the attention he was getting, attention he'd convinced himself he hadn't wanted.
You'll notice the very first comment was my own, stating explicitly there was no mental change, a fact which was also mentioned in the story.
However, I understand your concerns and I apologize that my story came across that way. I will go back through tomorrow, and make it more clear in the story what was going on, and why, although I think it will detract from the smoothness of the story. I don't want anyone to think I'm condoning any attitudes similar to those anti-gay anti trans groups. The sorts of prejudiced attitudes they perpetuate are horrific, at best.
I apologize once more. This sort of reaction really wasn't what I'd intended.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
In the end he agreed to it but would have prefered a middle path
As they worked the magic on him he saw the unhealthy sickly yellow-green? color of his aura for lack of a better term. He saw his aura become a brilliant blue in response to the continuing assault by the pink light. IE he finally had an aura he should have always had. He also knew somehow that if he did not let the pink light take him, um her over the sickly light would come back.
And he was not a happy child, just freaked out when people actually noticed him.
A few of the girls, one in particular were rude to him but were called out on it by the others and later made up to him/her for their foolishness. The girl who helped them break in was all but in tears over his perceiving her as betraying him. She saw his fear and pain and felt ashamed.
I wish they could have helped him become that which he should have been. IE why couldn't they simply lift the curse, this being a null?
As to the posiblity of mind control or *we know best so we changed you mind to accept this unwanted sex change*. I don't think anyone would want to be cursed as he was. But I agree is seems sad or worse that he had to become a girl to get help, to get a decent chance at life. In the end she is mostly who he was or could have been without the curse. But I do very much feel the initial group of girls who confronted him explained things very poorly and caused him to panic.
Until the girl with the *phasing* magic appeared then all but broke down in sobs on seeing the fear on the boys face and later how the transformation went IE the pink, sickly green and blue body lights/auras, I thought this was forced. And if not in a mean spirited way it was being done in a *We know what's best for you, Dearie. Don't worry your little head over it.* sense as you feel, Karen.
But given magic is involved there always is a shadow of doubt as to whether her mind has been manipulated into accepting this change.
There are times when ignoring a persons explicitly express wishes is right and proper. Say to save a life of a suicidal person who is otherwise healthy. IE someone distraught after a loved on dies or they loose their job and impulsively want to kill themselves.
I'd say in the spectrum of sex transformations ranging from, "I always knew I was in the wrong body. Please make me a girl" IE totally voluntary transformation to the "I always have felt right with being a man"/totally forced transformation this one lies in between.
By the stories end I'd say she was one of the happier and more or less voluntary changes. IE "I wish I could have remained a guy but looking back my old life was terrible. So if the price for a better life was girlhood, so be it. I would never want to go back to the sorry excuse for a life I had,"
But until the phase shifting girl's emotional reaction and seeing certain aspects of the transformation, up until those this had all the earmarks of a definite forced fem. One done not for evil intent but because *THEY* knew best. Not evil in intent but not a hell of a lot better at least from the standpoint of the *recipient* of this *kindness.*
In the end she is overall happy with her change and is moivng forward in her new life but has some small remants of sadness, of what ifs. But then life is often that way, full of what what ifs, what could have beens if only.
My two cents.
BTW excelent first effort here. Please continue to post to BC and welcome.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Unique?
Not sure but I don't think I've read anything with a close to plot before. Very interesting, and that comes from someone that usually crosses the street and rounds the first corner when I see teenage and high school linked with magic.
Very neatly done, tense and believable within its own world. Not sure it really needs a sequel at all but as it seems it's written, hey why not. If there's a quibble it's that the new physicality seems far removed from the original, but hey...
Clever and impressive.
Kristina
Awesome.
I love hearing this. 'Unique' is just about as good a compliment as it gets.
Yeah, she did end up rather different looking, didn't she? I'll admit, I sort of forgot to put similarities in the before and after appearance. Whoops.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Being Anonymous can kill you.
I really liked your story and want to see more of your writing. This site has pushed me to get up and spend the time on the stories I have left in notebooks unfinished and not shared. Seeing new people adding to the wealth helps give me the courage to keep going and get one or more of my own ready. Keep writing I for one will keep reading.
The only bad question is the one not asked.
The only bad question is the one not asked.
Re:
Thank you! Nice to hear you'll be stick around for more when I have it.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Now this one was a pleasant surprise.
Your approach with the story was to say the least -- different. And quite entertaining with the mix of emotions shown by all the characters.
I don't think I've ever read a story that approached things quite this way, and that's a good thing. Nice and fresh.
I'm glad you decided to post it here.
And Welcome to BC/TS.
Maggie
Different
I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that. I love it when I find something done in a way that is new to me, and that I've managed to produce something that is that for someone else is just awesome.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
wow
An attention null? That is a fascinating concept for a story. Loved it!!
Thanks!
Thanks!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
And of course she winds up being straight
:P
It's tough enough having to give up your preferred gender but sexual orientation too?
Oh well.
The progression was nicely done btw but I am with KarenJ somewhat if it weren't for the 'necessity'.
Kim
Yeah...the whole boys staring at her at the end...
sorta like one big cosmic sleepover with psychic pillow fights and a magic version of Mystery Date? I certainly hope for every one's sake that Emily's apparent change of orientation is idiosycratic; other wise the cure might be worse than the affliction. Things like that always throw me; it's better for you if you're not a man; but it's better for you also if you're with a man? Me? I'll be ordering off the Femme-u. A Super Estroburger, very, very light on the testosterone, and a Gyno-smoothie!
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
My fault... Sorry.
That wasn't what I'd intended at all. Looking at it though, I definitely see what how you'd say that. I hadn't meant for you to think her sexual orientation had changed, that line was meant to tie into the opening one to demonstrate how her opinion of receiving attention had changed.
Looking at it now, that was EXTREMELY unclear, and totally my fault. This will be fixed when I update it later.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Refreshing
Totally unique. And that's one of my favorite things to find in a story.
Thank you so much for all your efforts in creating and posting this wonderful story.
XO... Lora
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Thanks, and also, you're welcome!
I may or may not have put the content of this message in the title.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
A really nice story
Still, while it is self-sufficient, it left the more substantial explanation than the one the girls could provide while being affected by the 'attention null' property outside our view. So it can be elaborated on, a lot - with the reasons for affliction, with the consequences, with the alternate treatment methods et cetera ad infinitum. :)
Another thing is that apparently there are numerous groups performing transformations - which really are more-or-less voluntary - because one of the transformees was transformed almost right before William/Emily was. And somehow, I have my doubts they were all the same occurence of attention null.
And of course, I'd really really like to see Mom shower her daughter with attention! :P
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Yeah, I've been slowly realizing that...
I really do need to edit this so as to explain what is going on just a bit better. Sorry.
Also, I'm looking forward to the scene with her Mom as well.
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
And that, folks
Is how you weasel an almost-promise to continue the story! :)
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Oh no!
Curses! I have been backed into a corner despite all my careful planning! For talking me into writing more, I will never forgive you! :P
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
Reading In Too Much vs Not Reading In Enough
One of the great things about a new story, especially a good one, is the controversy that is frequently raised. There were many things about this story that pushed the hot buttons of many of the readers.
One of the things that bothers me about many of the young characters depicted in these stories is their sense of self righteousness and immaturity. Many times the methods of their activities are justified by the results. Wouldn't it be interesting if someone wrote a story about a meta-human who couldn't do anything right and was constantly stepping in his or her doo doo. Probably not; it might be like reading about a reverse Candide.
What we have here are a group of girls who are blessed with a magic power; however, they are young and full of it. They are far from mature, but they are compassionate. They are so caught up in their cause that they don't realize that they shouldn't be rushing headlong into these things. The following paragraph by the author explains so much, and I wonder if some of those who wrote rather scathing comments about what was done perhaps against the initial reluctance of the 'victim' really understood what goes on in this universe:
To put it bluntly, William was going to die. The only way he could survive was to become female. The blue aura is not William's personality; it was just the Y chromosome that had to be changed. I would look at the 'null' situation as being similar to other characteristics like male colorblindness and hemophilia that happen because of a recessive gene carried on the X chromosome that can't be overcome because there is no counterpart on the Y chromosome.
The girls had the power to recognize the condition, but only had the power to correct the Y chromosome, not the X chromosome. If they had been able to do the latter, then some of the questions posed by the readers would have been moot. They fix the X and the boy becomes a non-null. However, that would make a story not fit for this site. There certainly wouldn't be much conflict would there? We're going to have a group hug and we will cure your hemophilia, colorblindness, null condition, etc. Great for medical journals - but not here.
As the girls mature, I would hope that their approach to curing a null's genetic illness (that's what it is) would take a bit of a less reckless approach; however, I hope that will be another story.
Portia
Portia
A delightfully light-hearted romp!
I love the tone of this story, and the way it starts right out by piquing the reader's curiosity and leading him along to a final happy ending.
The story ends at exactly the right place and with just the right tone. While I would enjoy seeing the characters again, the story is definitely complete by itself.
Aww, thanks!
I'm so glad you liked it!
"It's so difficult when people take me seriously." Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces
I'm wondering
What would have happened if they let the blue and pink light intermingle so that they were balanced.
Soul
I doubt that that would work here...
I guess you'd need a balanced soul to work this out... And I can't see this here - you shouldn't forget, he had somekind of soul poinsoning that made him quasi invisible for everyone else.
I guess you'd get an intersexed androgynous individual.
having friends rocks
totally. I found this today on the random solo selector, and loved it.
Dorothycolleen