Reading of your loneliness is frustrating and painful because we all want to help you and yet we are mostly unable to. Distance and circumstance in the main prevent us from physically addressing your loneliness.

It may sound trite to say 'You have a family here on BCTP, but it's usually the only help we have to offer.

Lot's of us have lost our families through transitioning or sometimes just because we're transgendered. Because of these painful ephisodes we are truly sympathetic to each other. It took me over fifty years just to find one member of my biological family but eventually things turned around. Fortunately I wasn't lonely during those fifty two years for I had a wife who at least tolerated my issues. The solution is mostly in your own hands unless some members of BC live closer to hand.

Like several of us here on BC, I cycle. I also meet up with other cyclists at a cafe in Ewenny in South Wales. I don't cycle with them because I'm a bit of a wimp because my hormones have feminised my body muscle and I cycle precisely as a sixty-five year old woman would. Much slower than 'club speed'. I do however, cover the same distances and the club members respect me for that, I just take longer.

Consequently I start out earlier, cycle alone and meet up with the club at the rendezvous. They know about my transgenderism and at least accept that by being private and withdrawn about it amongst the club members I don't cause offence. Thus, when we rendezvous, they accept me into their cycling circle when we drink coffee, eat cake and talk bikes. I then often leave before them and they pass me on the pre-arranged return route. Sometimes, some of the more sympathetic members will peel off the main group, slow down for a chat and escort me home, that's a really nice warm feeling and we chat as we ride.

Some have even suggested I cycle with the ladies and family section where the slower club members meet on weekends. I've considered this but for now, I just cycle alone and thus send a clear message that my transgenderism is not a danger to other club members, like the kids for instance. (We all know about the issues there.)

I choose to cycle because it's essentialy gender neutral not like say theatre groups or some other clubs. It also keeps me fit, helps with the cardio-vascula whilst I don't damage old bones and joints by jogging.

Apart from your transgenderism and finding others in similar TG circumstances you might try joining some sort of club and see what sort of reception you get. You'll be surprised for sometimes some members prove quite tolerant and liberal.
On these occasions, loneliness is certainly not an issue.

Apart from this sort of advice there's little I can do. Distance makes the heart ache. For years, despite a happy marriage,I felt lonely inside for want of meeting others like me. The internet has done wonders here and I now go clubbing with a crazy gang of trannies at least twice a month. That is my therapy though I've had to work hard at it.

XZXX

Beverly.

Growing old disgracefully.