We spend much of our lives in the pursuit of creating options. Family options. Friends options. Economic options.
It's natural to be unhappy when someone who shouldn't restricts our options by telling us what to do. In other words, we put a high price on our individual freedom.
Without rules and guidelines the world would be chaotic; and the Bible is correct when it equates chaos to evil. Just as evil as chaos are the unwarranted restrictions some people place upon us. The base of much of my TG-based frustration seems to be the feeling that the world is telling me what to do about things it shouldn't.
When people on BC use blogs to say things like "I must ask that you" or "I insist that you" I get this tingling feeling that threatens to turn me into some sort of hulking monster.
Perhaps it would help to have a list somewhere on BC that identifies those who are official monitors. At least that way when people tell me they "insist" I do something I will know they're just doing their job and aren't just taking out their personal frustration on me.
Jill
Comments
Things go missing
I've notice some peoples blogs don't quite stay on the site. I've seen the comments made but I've also gotten an e-mail telling me why something I've written has been pulled and its always signed by an administrator.
I'm a rebellious person and like to walk the fine line actually I like to cast a dark shadow over the to the dark side making people wonder and yet just be where its safe so they cannot come and get me.
I've seen you get dissed, and I often wonder who peed in who's wheaties? Perhaps a list of offensive material, but then again anything can be offensive if one person doesn't care for how things are said.
You're correct it one is being told they can't or must then the person needs to identify themselveas part of the administration staff.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
moderators
When ever I communicate with people on the site as a moderator I always identify myself as a site Moderator/Editor.
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.
Thank You, Jenna
Your way of doing this seems appropriate.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
What's this in reference to?
I can't recall any such phrasing in any blogs recently. Details?
This should probably be handled in a PM.
As for a list of people who are in authority here, there's me.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Answered in PM
eom
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
I can see your point.
I know what you are talking about. I just have to keep in mind that this is not my site and I am only here at the good pleasure of Erin.
Lately, I have been re-evaluating my desire to write TG stuff; knowing full well that placed in its proper perspective, the tg part of real life is of very minor importance; in fact, I should like to forget it completely. I am working very hard on a story that I will for now call, "The Saga of Katia". It is purposely heavily TG and is an experiment by me to see if I can actually write a story that fits "The Model".
Sometimes I like to say things that are brash, or even blunt, so I am evaluating the creation of my own web page. That way, when I feel really cranky, I can just say it on my own page and thus keep Erin out of court. There are some other aspects of story writing that make me feel quite quite frustrated and bitchy. On my own page I could construct "my own petard" and enjoy it or be caught on it's horns. :)
Many Blessings
Khadija
Nonconformist
During most of my life, I've been fairly passive and not very assertive much of the time, especially when dealing with authority figures. However, interactions with non-friendly authorities make me anxious and fearful, which is unpleasant for me. Thru learning and avoidance, I try to minimize the chance that anyone will want to or have an opportunity to turn me down or order me around. When someone does tell me to do something I don't want to do, I might get upset, depressed or angry.
When I was 5 or 6, My dad told me he was a nonconformist (I guess he was a little). I immediately told him that I was a nonconformist, too. I used to, when I was 4 to 8, I guess, do a lot to foster the nonconformists image. I guess I thought that it would distract people from thinking I was a girly-boy. I would walk in a really hunched over posture and go where others didn't. I would walk over/thru' piles of snow plowed or shoveled off sidewalks, streets, etc. and across fallen snow or grass, rather than on sidewalks, with as long strides as possible. (I lived in suburbs of Buffalo, NY.
Up to my first "real" (engineering) job, the first 8-10 yrs. after starting to transition and at times in between, when I was supposedly straight, married, employed and tried to keep my dressing secret, I would do or say things that one was not supposed to do or say under the rules of "polite society". I think a big part of the reason for this behavior was my Asperger's syndrome, a sort of high functioning autism that makes some, males mostly, act like clueless, very smart nerds. Asperger's supposedly results in a social learning, social communications, disability. I did not have any idea of some of societies rules.
Gwen/Khadija says: > "Sometimes I like to say things that are brash, or even blunt" <. When I used to say things like that, I really did not know my speech was brash, blunt, inappropriate or weird. I would do things that "normal people didn't do", especially after transitioning, because if these things "were not normally done" did not inform me that there was anything wrong with doing them. I had to do something and see what happened, to learn if there was anything wrong with doing it. Most of the times I did unusual things, but had no problems.
Hugs,
Renee
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
I also hate being told what to do
During my acting career (I'm sure you know what I mean), I almost invariably opted for the 'quiet life' and was extremely compliant. Sometimes I still am, but I have found that, post retirement and post transition, I stand up for myself far more than I previously did.
As far as blogs and comments are concerned, though, I try to be helpful and constructive, in the hope that the sentiment is reciprocated.
Susie
I deserve an Oscar!
Oh, I know that feeling all too well. From around 35 on, I used to tell people that I had no real personality and mine was only an act. At the time I had no clue what so ever that I was talking about being GID. I just did not know who the hell I was, and there was certainly no real person that I wanted to emulate, save John Wayne, and everyone I knew said that I sucked at the part. Imagine a very feminine and skinny man doing the part of John. Even now I am laughing with embarassment. :)
What I can't understand is why my once loyal family all think I am screwing every man in town? Geeze, maybe I should try? Naw, I'd probably not be credible. Maybe I could pay someone to do me .... ?
Khadija