Jubal: Senior Year
Copyright  © 2011 Faeriemage
All Rights Reserved.
Jubal's senior year marks a number of changes in her life.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm putting the alternate reality story of Jubal on the back burner. Apparently my current plans won't fit with peoples preconceptions of the universe. Will be considering if changing the character as severely as I would be required to is okay with me. For now, this will be the only story line Jubal will be following.

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Jubal felt as though her eyeballs were filled with sand, and something about the world simply felt disconnected. The past week was a blur of avoiding Kirk at school and working herself into a stupor at night.

She'd stayed up until four this morning, unable to banish thoughts of Kirk and George fighting over her from her mind. She wasn't even sure right now who she wanted to win that fight.

The book she had been using as a distraction would no longer be there to take her attention from things she didn't want to think about.

At a little over two hundred thousand words she was done. She'd done a quick pass over the last passages she'd written for overt spelling and grammar mistakes and then sent it off to Beverly.

She'd then lay down to try and get a couple of hours sleep before school. At least today was Friday and not much could happen to her before the weekend.

***
"Hey big bro, why so glum!"

Kirk looked at his sister and just shook his head.

"Jane, you are too much a morning person to have come to this family naturally. You're either a mutant alien, or an elfin changeling or something."

"Oh come on. I'm not that different. You just take until seven before you're chipper. I'm happy to greet the sunrise."

"Chipper. Now you're sounding like Mom or Dad."

She giggled at this, "So, did you ask her over yet?"

"No."

"Why not? It will be fun! I want to test out her chess skills. See if she's worthy of you, bro."

"Leave off, okay, Jane! She's way too young for me. It's. . .weird."

"Personally, sounds to me like the entire school you go to is weird, but whatevs."

"Where in the world do you get your word choices, sis?"

"Movies, the internet, and the dictionary."

"Sorry I asked."

"Look, either you ask her, or I will. She's not someone to be afraid of, I mean come on. I'm only ten and you're not afraid of me!"

"Jane, you absolutely terrify me."

"Oh, haw haw haw."

Kirk chuckled as he moved toward the garage. "Give me a ride to school? Pretty please?"

"You're feminine charms won't work on me, harlot. I am immune." He said in a bad Charleton Heston accent.

"Yeah, but my little sister power of blackmail works just fine."

"Ok, brat. Come on."

***
Jubal wore flats as usual, and somehow ended up in the white dress again. It hadn't been intentional, but she'd felt right about it as soon as she put it on. She wore another of her vests with it, a sort of hunter green print this time.

She got into the office without incident, and then noticed a girl sitting looking around her.

Jubal walked up to her, and was scrutinized for a moment by the girl before she looked away.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I guess. So, my brother told me that this girl does announcements? Jubal? And she's supposed to be my age and I wanted to ask her something."

"I'm Jubal."

"No way you're my age. You look so much older than 10. Like, 13 or even 14. But not 10."

Jubal blushed as she smiled, "Well, I like you already, cause even if that's flattery, it's nice to hear."

"Seriously. And you don't talk like my friends either."

"Would you believe that I started coming to high school when I was 7? It sort of kept me away from my own age group."

"I wish I was in high school already."

"Do you go to Griffin?"

"Oh, no. My parents can barely afford for Kirk to go here."

There was a momentary flutter of her heart as Jubal heard the mention of Kirk's name. This was his sister? Jubal hadn't even known he had a sister.

"You perked up when I said my brother's name, didn't you?"

"Stop it, I did not. I don't even like your brother."

"Lips may lie, but cheeks do not!"

"Kids, we have some responsibilities to attend to here?"

Jubal glared at Cathy, even though she knew that the other girl was right.

"Sorry, I have to give the announcements, but after that, I can talk to you for a moment before I go to class."

"Good Morning Griffin High. A final reminder that all club charters need to be in today before the end of school. We have been asked by the principal this year to refrain from painting, marking, or otherwise defacing our lockers, inside or out, as they are the property of the school and it does cost them thousands of dollars every year to fix them in preparation for the new year.

"He suggested that I tell you to treat them like your iPod or iPhone, but I've seen some of your iPods and figure that would be a worse idea than saying nothing.

"Cheerleading try outs for everyone interested will take place on Monday after school. The basketball team would like to get a head start on practicing as they are feeling outdone by the reigning champions of the football team. As such they will be holding tryouts in the same place, at the same time as the cheerleading team.

"Mostly, I've been told, it's so they can get into the closed tryout and ogle the girls without actually trying out for the team.

"And last, I have a very special call out to one of our students from a very special someone."

I handed the mic to Kirk's sister. "Hey, Kirk. I'm ditching school." The other student councilors laughed at this.

I took back the mic back. "That concludes the announcements for the day."

"So, how long do you figure before he gets here," Hank asked.

Jubal made a disgusted face. "Have you seen hoe hr runs through the halls? I figure the moment we try to leave the office he'll run right over the top of me."

Jane looked shocked, "What?"

"He did it twice on Monday. Apparently I'm too small to see."

"Well, let's get to class." Miss Landau said as she headed toward the door. She should have listened to Jubal's warning.

"I'm so sorry," Kirk said helping Miss Landau up from the floor.

"Kirk, I assume? You may consider slowing down in the halls."

"I'm sorry. I just needed to take care of my wayward sister it seems. Jane, what are you doing here?"

"Inviting Jubal over to our house tomorrow. She still owes me that chess game."

"Well, I wasn't aware I owed you a chess game, but it would be fun, I think. Just so you're aware, I've never played chess. You'll have to teach me."

Jane looked shocked. "But, everyone knows how to play chess."

"Not me, unfortunately. I really would like to learn though." Jubal snuck a glance in Kirk's direction, which Jane caught.

She narrowed her eyes a bit, but let it pass. After she destroyed Jubal's confidence by winning at chess, her brother would be safe. It was that simple for her. "Ok, just get our address from Kirk, since he seams angry with me for some reason."

Kirk practically dragged Jane out to his car. "I didn't need you to do that for me, brat."

"Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't know that the only reason she's coming is because you'll be there."

Kirk was speechless.

"Maybe I should let her win a couple of games before stomping her. I like a speechless older brother."

Kirk glared at her but continued to say nothing. He'd get his revenge by telling their parents about this little escapade later this evening.

***
Cathy shook her head as she left the classroom to head to her second period. How many guys did one girl need, especially a half girl like Jubal. Oh, she knew all about Jubal, and its intersex condition. She held her tongue at school, and would never do anything that the school would consider falling under its broad category of 'hazing' but that didn't change how she felt about the little freak.

This was supposed to be HER year. Cathy Brandis as SBP. And she would get George to love her, because he was only what Cathy deserved. She was supposed to be queen bee here. She was supposed to be the center of attention. She had the right parents, the right clothes, and the right doctors.

She was beautiful and pleasant to be around.

So why was that nerd in her place. They even acknowledged the little thing as Queen of the school.

She needed some way to get back at Jubal, but everything that came to mind would get her suspended from school and removed from the student council. No, she needed something that couldn't be tracked back to her, and would, even better, remove Jubal as a problem permanently.

Cathy didn't need to kill her. No that would be too good for the little bitch. She just needed her to acknowledge her place in this world. . .at the bottom.

She took a couple of calming breaths, not to remove her intense hatred of little mis(ter) perfect. To bank the embers of it and let her seem to be the sweet person who would win the school's approval in the power vacuum that would be left when their Queen was no more.

Now, how to remove Jubal as a rival.

***
At lunch Jubal was on pins and needles. She was eating her normal salad. The cafeteria served a wide variety of food from vegan to a la carte to more normal cafeteria fare.

Jubal got a salad each day, but it wasn't about being healthy. Iceberg lettuce as a base, cottage cheese above that, ham chunks, sweet peas, and then mandarin oranges in light syrup. Occasionally the mandarin oranges were either absent or out and she would go with pears instead. Rarely peaches.

She was afraid of how many calories it was adding to her diet, but that's why she ran home from school. These days she didn't go running unless there were a shower for her at the end of it. Damn puberty.

She almost giggled at that. The fear the endocrinologist had regarding her ovotestis was that she would need HRT for the rest of her life. Apparently that wouldn't be the case, since she'd started puberty before summer started.

Her fear of not having a normal puberty had been replaced with disgust at having a normal puberty.

Oh well. She would survive. Especially if Kirk would just show up.

And that was what had her so nervous. She knew he had the same lunch as she did this semester, but he was nowhere to be found.

He came through the door with George and her heart beat faster. She wasn't ready for this. Too young and inexperienced, even if she was a senior. It felt ironic to her that she was having her first schoolgirl crush in her senior year.

She didn't let that stop her from adjusting her hair, and checking her makeup surreptitiously in a hand mirror.

She smiled at them as they came toward her bearing their selections from the food offered.

"So, Kirk. Apparently you're supposed to be giving me your address for tomorrow."

"What's this?" George asked.

Kirk opened his mouth to respond, but Jubal jumped in before he could get a word in, "Kirk's sister, Jane, invited me to their house to learn how to play chess."

"Wait, didn't you learn how to play last summer? I seem to recall my Dad spending a couple of weeks giving you the basics before you were trouncing him."

"Yeah, I started looking up master level games online, and memorizing the movement patterns."

"But, you told my sister you didn't know how to play."

"All part of the game, Kirk."

"Telling my sister you don't know how to play chess is part of the game?"

"Not THAT game," Katie said coming up behind them.

""Huh?" Kirk said.

Katie looked over at Jubal, who nodded for her to go ahead, "the girl game. The one that boys never get. Jane is trying to keep unworthy females from dating her idolized big brother. So, she embarrasses them at chess. Primitive, but effective in certain situations. If they feel uncomfortable in your house, Kirk, then that puts a strain on the relationship.

"See, Jane never overtly lets them know she disapproves. She just invites them to play every time they come over. She just acts like an exuberant youngster. Only a skilled operator will be able to notice her actions for what they are. Well, that or a savant like our Jubal here."

Jubal blushed prettily and it was Kirk's turn to have palpitations. He had to figure out some way to dissuade her coming over.
"You know, I'd understand if you didn't want to come over."

"No, I'm fine with it. I hardly ever associate with kids my age, and I've been looking for a challenging match. People have started declining games with me at chess.com. I've even been accused of being a chess master incognito."

"You two deserve each other." Kirk said under his breath, but not quietly enough.

"I'll have you know I'm not into girls." Jubal was blushing as soon as she'd said it. Why didn't she just leave well enough alone?

When Kirk's mouth dropped open, Katie grabbed Jubal by the arm and steered her toward the bathroom.

"What was that, Jubal?"

"It just slipped out. I don't know what I was thinking! He must think I'm a total freak."

"Or he might get the right idea and realize that you're totally into him."

"Oh crap. Not good."

"Why? Because you had this fairytale romance between yourself and George?"

Jubal looked at her with a bit of fear. She still wasn't sure where Katie stood on that issue.

"Yes, I am relieved to know that my friends will not start dating each other. I was okay with it, or so I thought, but it is a weight off knowing that Kirk is just as much into you."

"What!?" Jubal's face lit up.

"You are so young sometimes. Yes, Kirk likes you, Jubal. Anyone but the two of you can see you've both got it bad."

Jubal squealed and hugged Katie.

Katie giggled and hugged her back.

"So, what are you going to wear to your date tomorrow?"

All the color drained from her face as the import of Katie's words struck home.

"Well, not really a date, but you want to look your best when his parents see you for the first time."

"Katie, that's even worse!."

"All the more reason that we should start tonight to get it taken care of."

"Ok, come over to my place after school and we'll get started."

***
"Hey, Mama Joey."

"Hello, Jubal. Afternoon, Katie."

"We're giving Jubal a makeover. She's going to a boys house tomorrow."

Mama Joey laughed at this, "well, have a good time girls."

They went upstairs to Jubal's room.

"Katie, could you give me a moment? I want to check my email."

"Not thinking Kirk might have send something to you, are you?" Katie said with a smile.

"What? Oh, no, I sent my book off to my publisher. Wanted to see if she sent anything back to me."

"Well, hurry it up. We have so much work to do, and we might even need to go shopping before tomorrow."

Jubal giggled at this, "I almost wish the dresses from last year still fit. I have a feeling they might be a little tight in a couple of areas."

Katie got a thoughtful look on her face and went in search of Mama Joey while Jubal worked on her email.

"Do you have a tape measure?"

"Somewhere. Not thinking of making her a dress are you?"

"Not enough time for that. No, I'm thinking of altering one of the ones I made already. As long as her measurements haven't changed too much, that is."

They did a quick search of the kitchen drawers and turned up the tape measure.

"Thanks, Ma'am."

"I've told you in the past. Just call me Mama Joey."

"Ok, Mama Joey."

Katie went back up to the room to an excited Jubal.

"She got it, Katie. She's already read the first three chapters and thinks that it is worthy of the faith she had in me. She says if the rest of it is as good as the first three chapters she's going to publish my book."

"That's so great, Jubal." Her words might have been right, but something in her body language was off.

"Katie?"

"Sorry. I just find it hard to deal with you sometimes."

"What? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. That's the problem. Published author. Super smart. Half the student body in love with you. Student Body President. I mean, you are so perfect it hurts sometimes."

"Katie, you know I'm not perfect. I make all sorts of mistakes."

Katie began giggling at that, "you even make mistakes perfectly. You make them once for the life experience and then never make them again."

"Oh, you. Why did you get the tape measure?"

"Because I can think of the perfect dress for you to wear tomorrow. Remember that black, red and white number you wore third for the fashion show?"

"It made me look like a college student."

"Exactly. You looked as mature as the rest of us know you are inside."

"But. . ."

"No buts. I can make some adjustments, let it out a bit in the bust and hips," she looked at Jubal appraisingly, "Maybe even take it in through the waist."

"What?"

"How tall are you now? You seem to have slimmed down just a little."

"Don't know. You're the one with the tape measure."

"Well, then let me use it. You're going to have to strip, girl."

Jubal stripped down to her training bra and panties.

"You know even if I'd never seen george in his underwear I doubt I would mistake you for a boy."

"What? Why?"

"Not enough of a package."

"Well, it does what it's supposed to, and in a little over a year I'll have it corrected."

Katie quickly measured all the relevant areas, and jotted them down on a piece of scrap paper.

"Well, if I remember your measurements correctly, then I will have to let you out in the hips just a bit. Maybe an inch. Your waist is a bit slimmer as well. Unfortunately the bust hasn't changed much at all."

"Oh, pooh. I thought they were a little puffier than before."

"Well, they might be, but it takes time for them to develop, girl."

"I know that. I have taken courses in human sexuality and development. It's just I want to be older so badly right now."

Katie and Jubal giggled at this.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. In such a rush to be women, and then we want everything to slow down again. Hey, at least you'll already be in the real world long before you're even twenty."

"Yeah, so I'll have ten years before I turn the dreaded 3-0."

"Unlike me, who will be mere moments away from that dreaded point in the same period of time."

"Yeah, but it would still be nice to be a bit older so I had something more than promises to offer. . .people."

"If they're worth it, then the promise will be enough."

"And if the promise is not enough?"

"Then there's always George who is a complete gentleman."

Jubal's computer dinged.

She went over to take a look at it. There was another email from Beverly.

'Jubal,

Apparently the medical profession currently calls intersex a disorder of sexual development or DSD. I don't think it should cause a problem with most people reading your story, since you describe what it is for those who have never heard of it, but, and this is a big but, we may want this to be something that medical professionals are fine with suggesting for parents of children with DSD. Just a thought I had.

If you want to do that, then we may want to consider changing references to intersex to be DSD instead.

Regards,
Beverly.

"Huh. Well, leave it to medical professionals to change a perfectly good label for something for no real reason than making an acronym."

"What?"

"Oh, apparently I'm no longer intersexed."

"Oh really?"

"I am suffering from DSD. Disorder of sexual development."

Katie snorted at the other girl, "So, does that make you any less or more like the rest of us?"

"Nah, just a new name for it."

"Good to know."

"So, what is the plan for your makeup and hair?"

"Is there much I can do with shoulder length hair?"

"Oh so much. Not that I am a hairstylist, and not that we want to go completely bonkers. Save that for prom. No. Hmm. Let's leave it loose. A slight curl maybe?"

"Sure. We can do that."

"And you're normal subdued makeup is probably perfect."

"Well, I had a great teacher for that?"

"Thanks, Jubal. You are really nice to say that."

"What? I was talking about George."

The two of them giggled over this.

Katie looked appraisingly at Jubal's legs, "no hair to speak of yet, so there is that. No shaving for you tonight."

"I have a hair or two in my pits. . .sometimes. I pluck those instead of shave for right now."

"Probably for the best. Easier on the skin."

"You know, Katie. Sometimes I really feel trapped in my own body. It's weird I know. I just feel like I'm so much bigger than my 10-year-old looking body gives me credit for."

"Honey, we all feel that way sometimes."

"Well, I'll stop by tomorrow with your dress before you head out. You still got the shoes?"

"Yes, and they still fit. My feet haven't noticeably grown yet."

"Okay, sweetness. You get some sleep, Okay. We want you well rested for your date."

"Get on with you, slave, and prepare my royal vestment."

"Yes, my liege. Your will is my own, my liege."

They giggled as Katie left.

Jubal sat to compose an email back to beverly.

Beverly,

That sounds like a good idea. I'll do a quick search and replace on my copy of the text and determine where DSD is more appropriate than intersex. . .

Jubal sat there thinking for a moment before changing her mind. She didn't need to make this change. She needed a foreword.

She sat down at her keyboard for a moment, fluttering her fingers above the keys, and then began to search for DSD using scholar.google.com

After reading through a number of entries on DSD, especially the rarer variant of Ot-DSD that she had, she began to write.

In recent years the definitions for what makes a person have been under attack by the scientific community. They quantify, codify, and catalog. People are not the sum of their DNA and also are not the sum of their experience.

We are a mixture of our DNA, Nature, and the life experiences that we survive, Nurture.

There is no one answer to what makes a person, and should we be lucky, there never will be.

The medical community have decided that intersex is simply one of a number of disorders of sexual development.

Dictionary.com, care of Random House, defines disorder as a disturbance in physical or mental health or functions; malady or dysfunction.

I am not a dysfunction.

My life is not a disturbance.

Luckily I was given the choice to join in what the rest of society deems normal, but it was my choice. Should I choose to stay as I am, there should not be a problem with that either.

There are no long term side effects of the specific type of DSD I have, OT-DSD, although a slight increase of the risk of cancer is indicated.

This is my story. It is a tale of the path I've taken to be the person I now am.

My name is Jubal Marie Franks and I am eleven years old.

She sent this off with a note to Beverly, and lay down to get some sleep.

***
Jubal couldn't sleep. She wanted to be well rested so she could enjoy her time with Kirk and his family tomorrow, but she couldn't seem to relax. Over and over in her head all of the possible bad things that could go wrong played.

The worst of them was when, for any number of reasons that she could come up with, Kirk ended up seeing her panties. Either because her dress slipped up, or because she fell over or. . .

She kept inventing new reasons why it might happen as well.

He was the only person she knew at school who didn't know her issue.

Oh, crap. The book. Everyone in the world would know her condition. Intersex, DSD, it didn't matter what you called it. She knew her life at school was different than she'd likely encounter in the rest of the world. And the world would all know how different she was. Sure that would be changing in just under fourteen months, but they would know what she'd been before.

A feeling of dread overcame her, and she was suddenly feeling ill.

She rushed to the bathroom and vomited everything she had in her stomach, and then tried to follow that up with her small intestines.

"Jubal, honey, are you okay?'

Jubal nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but quickly leaned over the toilet again to continue her communion.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized that a lot of people are going to be reading my book."

Mama Joey began to laugh, "Oh, honey. I'm sorry. It is so hard to forget how old you are sometimes. You act so mature, and then something like this. You've never been shy before. . ."

"I know, but the idea of all those strangers knowing so much about me. It was more than I could handle. That and the idea of Kirk finding out that way."

"Jubal, honey. You are a girl. You've always been a girl. Sure, you have some traits that are more boy like, but all of us are a mixture."

"I know that. Years with Dr. Rath has left me with that knowledge."

"Yes, but that's not the point I'm making, dear heart. Anyone who knows you will know how much you really are a girl. You've just had a slight birth defect for the past eleven years."

"I'm not eleven yet, Mama Joey."

"In two months you will be. That's good enough for me."

Jubal washed her mouth out a couple of times in the sink to remove the taste of bile.

Mama Joey wrapped her up in a huge hug when she was done. "Everything will be okay, Jubal. You'll see. People enjoy being around you."

"You only say that because you're my Mama."

"I thought that the first time I met you, when you're grandparents died."

A thought occurred to Jubal, and she began to tear up a bit.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Am I a bad person because I don't miss my grandparents anymore?"

"Of course not. Everything in this life comes to an end, even grief. We mourn the loss of people we love. sometimes, we will remember them at odd moments. Happy sometimes, and sad others. But it won't be with the immediacy of that first mourning."

"But I loved them so much."

"And I'm willing to bet that you still love them."

Jubal nodded silently.

"Then they will never truly be dead to you. When we keep the memories of people we've loved alive, they live through us. Our actions reflect upon then for good or evil."

"Would they be happy with my choice?"

"Did they ever directly tell you to be one or the other?"

"No."

"Then they would be happy with your decision."

Jubal smiled.

"Well, since we're both now awake, how bout I brew us some chamomile and we have a little chat until we're both ready to sleep again."

"I'd like that Mama Joey.