Pickles: A TG Choose Your Own Adventure
By Melanie E.
Page 19
"You take the Path of the Innovator..."
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"What the hell," you say to yourself as you start down the Path of the Innovator.
The path through the trees is largely clear, the grass growing in the trail and an occasional downed limb the only signs of the path's long disuse. After some minutes, you come upon a clearing. In the center sits a large dragon, its scales the color of melted butter with long, beautiful orange wings wrapped about itself. It appears to be sleeping, its snores occasionally sending small dust devils capering across the ground.
"Let's go around it. Quietly," Lisa says, dismounting and stepping around the edge of the clearing.
"It won't be quietly enough," the dragon says, opening one large eyelid to reveal the glowing golden orb beneath. You watch in awe as the dragon unfolds itself, seeming to grow larger before your eyes as it stretches up and out. "Who do you be?" it asks, in a matronly voice that reverberates off the trees around you.
Lisa steps forward, between you and the dragon. "I am Lisa, a knight of the kingdom, and this is my charge. Who are you?"
The dragon snorts, nearly blowing you out of your saddle, but Lisa stands firm. "I am the great dragon Aribeth, guardian of the Keep of Knowledge. Are you the one who has chosen the Path of the Innovator? Or was it this 'charge' you speak of?"
Knowing what to do, you climb awkwardly down from your horse and step around Lisa to face the dragon yourself. "I am the one who takes the path."
Aribeth gives you what you can only describe as a reptilian smile. "Ah, so it speaks after all. Welcome, then, to the first challenge of the Innovator." She settles back on her haunches and looks at you eagerly. "Tell me a joke."
You shrug. "Two guys walk into a bar..."
"No no no!" Aribeth says, whipping her tail through the air over your heads. "I've already heard that one."
"But I didn't even get to the actual joke!"
"Well, I've heard them all. And I won't let you pass until you have told me a joke I have never heard before."
Lisa gives you an exasperated look. "Do we really have to do this?"
"I think so," you say, as you look down the path you came in on and watch the trees crowd inward, obliterating the trail.
What do you do?
---Alright, this time things are going to work a little bit differently. I want everyone to post the most original joke they can think of. Tomorrow, I will sort through the responses and choose the one I think is best, and that will be your answer to the dragon's challenge!
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Voting, err, joking, begins... NOW!
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Comments
Hehehe!
OK, I'm sad enough to own a joke book. Leafing through at random, here are a few shorties that caught my eye (although given the book's five years old, it's likely the dragon's heard the lot...repeatedly!):
Police are investigating an accident in which two trucks loaded with copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a London publishing house. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, shocked, stupefied...
When politicians get the flu, you never know which way they're going to vote. Sometimes the eyes have it, and sometimes the nose.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
What two words have the most letters?
Post Office.
Two slugs were slithering along the pavement. As they went around a corner they found themselves stuck behind a pair of snails.
"Oh no!" said one. "Caravans!"
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
a joke a dragon never heard?
why do elephants paint their balls red? . . . . . . to hide in cherry trees.
whats the loudest noise in the jungle? . . . . . . pygmies picking cherries.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum and deer it can be done.
The Zen master says to the hotdog vendor
"Make me one with everything."
I hear they crossed a potato with a sponge. It tastes terrible but it sure holds a lot of gravy.
A teacher asks her kindergarden class what their parents do for a living. The kids say things like, Mommy is a nurse, Daddy works in a factory, Momma owns a store. Then little Johnny says "my daddy plays piano in a brothel."
The teacher is horrified and sends Johnny hokme with a note. The dad comes in the next day for a conference.
Is it true you play piano in a brothel?"
"No, I'm a lawyer but how do you explain that to a four-year-old?"
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Follow-up to the elephant joke...
(By the way, the version I heard was painting their toe-nails red)
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No?
Then you know it works!
--B
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Sorry I am not crative type of person
Well I don´t know that many, but here are few:
Why do policemen have an elephant in car? ... So they could hoot.
How many policemen are needed to screw in light bulb? ... Five. Four of them takes the table around and last one holds the bulb.
Little Girl: Mommy? What virgin means?
Mommy: (explains of birds and bees) ...until you do it for the first time, you are, well, a virgin.
Little Girl: And what extra virgin mean? (oil)
real-life ones (taken from nyx.cz forum Kids pearls(saying)):
Kid and teacher during enrolment to first year of elementary (teacher is trying figure out if kid is mature enough to attend):
T: And hows mommy called?
K: Danny.
T: But here I have written another name... (try to tell teacher of your kid, about your transsexuality)
T: And what is mommy doing?
K: She sits by computer or pets rats
T: Do you like animals? Have you any at home?
K: Rats
T: And how many of them you have?
K: Well, many (note of mom: we have 25)
T: And what are their names?
K: Who would it rememeber?
My brother (14) to mom:
It is interesting that if there´s anything interesting on tv I am too young. If I was purely by chance by computer after 9PM I´m too young, but when you have some work for me to do, I am almost adult...
Okay, I am not the big fan of jokes, but
There are two options I see that I could do. Mind you, I like the second one better.
The first option is to tell Aribeth the (DUN DUN DUNN) Brick Joke. For those lazy enough to not visit, it's a couple of related jokes. {Highlight to read} Here's the first one:
And here's the second one:
It is advised to tell an unrelated joke in-between.
{End of highlighting here}
And the other option, that appeals to me by being something totally unexpected - to summon a cream pie and pie Liza with it!
It has both a bonus of being something hardly anyone would do in the situation - thus being innovative - and the bonus of being literally a joke Aribeth has never heard before - because it has to be seen. ;)
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Pickles: A TG Choose Your Own Adventure: Page 19
What is the longest word"
Smiles.
There is a MILE between each "S"
Why are an elephants toe nails red?
Slow pygmies.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
past the deadline, but here goes
"I know a hilarious joke, but you're a blonde dragon and I don't have time to explain it."
It's not past the deadline yet :P
I'm not gonna continue this until I've gotten at least 10 comments with jokes.
Melanie E.
Dragon, naturally speaking
In that case here's a better one, although it's a riddle not a joke:
"What's the difference between a beautiful golden dragon and a childless strumpet? A beautiful golden dragon protects knowledge, but a childless strumpet knows about protection."
A few jokes no one here will get [Sorry, if they offend]
I went round my mate's house yesterday and his kids were running round the house screaming.
He looked at me and said, "Don't ever have kids mate."
I said, "Hard work?"
He said, "No, you're ugly."
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I can't believe those scousers burning their Torres Liverpool shirts.
What are they going to wear to court tomorrow?
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Sky Sports News.
Andy Carroll after record £35 million signing for a British Football player: "I want to be treated like everyone else at Liverpool"
Well, as a coked up girlfriend beater out on bail I don't think you'll struggle.
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Nothing says "I'm masterbating" more than telling people you are about to masterbate and then pulling your trousers down and masterbating.
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Little Johnny was asked by his teacher what his dad does for a living,
"He's a male prostitute, he works in the local gay club" Replies Johnny.
Shocked, his teacher rings his mum and confronts her about it.
"Well," says his mum "He actually plays for Derby County, you can imagine the embarrassment of revealing that."
Kev [Ρĥà ńŧÄśĩ»ßő™], Skeg Vegas, England, UK.
KevSkegRed, Skeg Vegas, England, UK.