Pickles: A TG Choose Your Own Adventure
By Melanie E.
Page 13
"You go with her to the castle..."
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After many more horrible computer language and OS puns, you finally manage to uncover the basics of what the prophecy entails.
1. There's an evil mage (isn't there always?) who wants to take over the kingdom.
2. He controls lots of baddies.
3. For some strange reason unbeknownst to you but apparently knownst to everyone else around you, you are the only person who is capable of stopping him, of course.
3. If you can beat him, the royal family will show you how to break the spell that has turned you to into a woman, and show you your way home. Blackmailing bastards.
With little fanfare, you are summarily marched to the armory, where a grizzled old soldier with one good eye and a beard that could hide a small pony grins at you lecherously.
"Aye, you is a pretty little one, ain'cha pet? I's been told to outfit ya fer fightin', but I reckon I'd like ye's better wifout the outfit," he says, cackling crudely. "What'll it be?"
Somehow, you feel like you've been in this situation before as you look at the rack of weapons before you while trying to ignore the feeling of his eye crawling over your backside.
---Take the shiny sword, perfect for slicing and dicing.
---Take the magician's staff and book. Might as well, you've got the robes.
---Take the mighty axe. Chop chop!
---Take the bow and quiver of arrows. Don't put an eye out.
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The voting begins...NOW!("Page 13" posted on 2/1/2011, voting to close at noon CST on 2/2/2011)
NOTES: Yes, I know, I'm two days late posting. I didn't feel like writing on Sunday, and Monday I couldn't get my brain in gear for any more of the computer puns that I had trapped myself into needing. I still didn't feel like them today, hence the cop-out in the first few lines.
Things will pick up, I promise.
Melanie E.
Comments
Being a wee slip of a girl,
Being a wee slip of a girl, she should take the staff and book, and look around for a bell and a candle (or maybe the lantern would do) to go with them (Ya know, Bell Book and Candle, the old Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart vehicle of a movie about New York witches? -- even had Jack Lemon in it).
CaroL
CaroL
yes, I agree
---Take the magician's staff and book. Might as well, you've got the robes.
Can I
Check the pockets of the robe? Maybe there's a hint there? :)
Realistically, there are only two choices possible to a normal human of our age, and even then with some caveats.
But for the fun of it, go with the staff and the book!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Since she be a wee slip of a
Since she be a wee slip of a girl, take the book and staff, and then look around for the Bell and Candle, though the lantern might suffice for the Candle (Ya know. Bell Book and Candle, the old Kim Novak, Jimmy Stewart movie about witches in New York -- Even had Jack Lemon and Ernie Kovacs in it. I know, I know, before your time).
CaroL
CaroL
Staff + Book
You're fighting an evil mage (i.e. magic user). Conventional weapons won't be much use if he can level you with a spell from a distance, so it's probably a good idea to fight magic with magic.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
bow and arrow
A sword or axe don't really suit a woman as well as a man, and it seems unlikely you could become a powerful enough magician fast enough to face a experienced mage. So a bow and arrow might be your best bet.
"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"
dorothycolleen
Amazon
RAMI
Check out the Bow and Arrow. You can be like the Amazon's, but do not emulate them entirely, you might feel unbalanced.
RAMI
RAMI
Take the book and staff!
Your too small and sexy for the sword or the axe, and while the bow is possible, it has limited effectiveness (are you any good at archery? How many arrows do you have? When they are gone, what's next?). Take the staff and book, and start reading, quickly!
Wren
The other concern...
...with the bow and arrow is whether or not a chest protector is being offered. If not, can you reach around far enough behind you to shoot backwards effectively, because if you can't, you'll hit yourself in the boob with the bowstring. You DO NOT WANT to hit yourself in the boob with the bowstring. >.< You especially do not want to hit yourself on the nipple on prominent display on the boob with the bowstring, even through multiple layers of clothing...
A friend of mine, rather well-endowed, took archery in high school. She ended up shooting almost directly behind herself over her right shoulder, just to evade her girls. It was... not fun... until her teacher showed her that trick, and worked with her to build enough strength to shoot that way. ^^;
Axes are problematic to fight with effectively. It is ridiculously easy to hit yourself in a bad way when just using one to split wood. ^^; When actively swinging one that is designed as a weapon at an enemy (or even the simulation of one, like a wooden post) it gets even easier. Too easy. >.<
Unless you know what you're doing with a sword, you're probably not really wanting to mess with that, either. Not to mention that using one like you know what you're doing requires you to be in very good condition, as it's very hard work, and a very athletic exercise. Try holding a ten pound weight at arm's length for even a full minute. Now hold it out beyond arm's length, even just a little. Now do it for, say, five minutes. No? Even the men on the site? Yeah. There's a reason for that. No, swords are, like axes, not for you. They may be shiny and pretty, but they're a pain in the ass.
Maybe the book has instructions? Maybe the magic system of this world is one of those ones where rhymes have power, or where sung music does? Or at least an easy initiation system? Anyway, short of magic weapons (and chest protectors!), the book and staff seem like the best bet. If nothing else, they offer the chance to run a fairly easy, somewhat safer con: pretending that you know what you're doing with them... ^^;
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
Pickles: A TG Choose Your Own Adventure: Page 13
---Take the magician's staff and book. Might as well, you've got the robes.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
hidden option
Take the small pony!
Ok, if I can't have a pony, I'll take the bow and arrow. The cart lady had a bow, so maybe she'll show us how to use it.
Fight Fireballs with Fireballs
I say go for the staff and book. Magic is fun!
Oh. I think the royal family is lying about changing me back. But that's okay. I'm okay with staying a woman.
Thanks and kudos.
- Terry
Magician
Let see how would our heroin do as mage. She can always try way of Xena later.
Robin
"Somehow, you feel like you've been in this situation before..."
I'm trying to decide what conclusion to draw from that. I think it means that whatever we take, we're going to be surprisingly good at using it without further training.
Those who say that magic's the only way to stop a mage have a good point, and because of the phrase noted above, our lack of experience may not make things as hopeless as I initially thought.
Still, I feel as though I'm being tricked here -- I'll bet the other alternatives are magical as well. Go for the bow and arrows, since they can work at a distance.
Eric
Take the ...
... shiney sword. The blade can double as a mirror so she can repair her makeup. ... NO! NO! NO! for real take the staff and book
BE a lady!