Alex’s Adventures in a Land of Wonder

TRUE

 © Nick B May 2007

Alex finishes his first night as a catering assistant, as Michelle.

The next task is to tell Jocelyn...

---

This is the last outing for Alex for the time being, but I'm sure he'll grow; people always do, whether you want them to or not.

I know I say something like this every time, but big up to Kristina LS for her help as always and hugs for stopping it from all going Pete Tong on me.

Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction and if you haven't figured that out yet, where ya been?
Any similarities between person living or dead would be... well you know the rest.

---

Michelle’s first night as a catering assistant was over, but her first night as a girlfriend had just begun.

Mum and I returned home and by mutual consent, said our goodnights, heading immediately for bed.

I sat on the edge of mine trying to fathom what was happening. Mum had gone from a conscientious objector to buying me clothes and even a pair of false boobs — the beasts — to enhance the look.

That wasn’t all.

Not only did I get to go to the party, I also got to kiss Jocelyn, or let her kiss me, I’m not sure how that works — well, we kissed anyway and it was great, but gnawing at my brain was the fact that I still hadn’t told her that Michelle was me, or I was Michelle. I’m not sure how that works either.

Anyway, I started to undress, removing the blouse — having trouble with the buttons as usual and then moved on to the skirt, letting it fall about my ankles and stepping out.

“I’ve left some makeup remover by the sink. Make sure you use it please. I don’t want smudges all over the pillow cases. Goodnight sweetheart.” said mum and I heard her bedroom door close.

“Goodnight mum.” I returned.

I padded round to the bathroom, wondering where this was going to end when I caught sight of myself again in the mirror. I stood there in the pristine white of the bra and panties, with my legs encased to the upper thigh in black fishnets with lace tops. My cleavage was perfectly visible and I couldn’t tell that it wasn’t real as the beasts stood out from the top of the cups. My face was still made up with my dark eyes glittering under mascara-extended lashes. The deep red of the lipstick, created a glossy and sensuous pout, all topped off with hair that hung in curls about my shoulders.

Where was Alex?

At least when I had been dressed by the girls, I could still see me, although a feminine version, it was still me. This wasn’t even me. It was someone else entirely and had it not been for the narrow hips and thighs, I would never have known it wasn’t a girl — all girl.

I padded back to the bedroom after I had finished; my head in a whirl.

What was happening to me?

This wasn’t just a bit of dress-up, this was full-on girliness and the thought that it came quite as easy as it did was daunting to say the least.

I looked good and no-one had even the slightest idea that I wasn’t what they saw, least of all Jocelyn and she got right up close and personal. If that wasn’t enough of a benchmark to gauge things by then I don’t know what was.

The scariest part was the fact that it didn’t feel as though I was pretending; didn’t feel as though I was acting, I was just being me. Perhaps there was a switch in me that changed depending upon what guise I happened to be in, but I seriously doubted that.

The very first time I wore the clothes I had the feeling it wouldn’t be the last. My dreams were about dressing as a girl and perhaps it had only been a small number of times that I had actually dressed this way, but each time I did, it was for longer and I became more convincing. Again I had to wonder what was happening to me.

This trip into girlhood was the scariest yet because, it took little for me to be convincing. I could stand before you in my underwear, look you in the eye and challenge you to tell me that what you saw wasn’t female.

Worse still, this time it had been my decision. I could have said no and I’m sure that mum would have understood. She may not have been happy, but she would have understood. I’m a boy for heaven’s sake and boys are not usually expected to dress in skirts or wear false boobs as a matter of course.

With my head still spinning, I laid there staring at the ceiling, the weight of the beasts pulling slightly sideways, which felt odd and I ran my hands up the sides of my chest to the beasts that joined almost seamlessly with me. My fingertips glided over the soft globes to the semi-erect nipples that even though they provided no sensation of their own, they did seem incredibly real.

I could feel my soft, smooth legs touching one another and I went almost into sensory overload, drawing my hands from my groin up as my legs rubbed together sending signals that didn’t leave much room for argument.

I liked the feeling.

I liked the soft globes that rose from my chest and because the false nipples provided no feedback, my head started to fill in the blanks, sending pseudo chills as I tweaked them with my thumb and finger, my mind drifting off, adding Jocelyn to the equation…

I fell asleep shortly after sliding into a world of dresses and skirts, makeup and nail polish, Jocelyn and me.

In the darkness I could hear her softly breathing as she drew her hand up towards the beasts, lightly kissing my neck and I turned my head towards her. Our lips met, gently kissing each others mouths before parting lips allowed tongues to enter, swirling and fencing with each other, the taste of the lipstick — was it mine or hers?

I ran my hand up from her tummy across her ribs before taking a nipple in my mouth and flicking my tongue across it, her breath coming in gasps as she held my head, running her fingers through my hair, moaning gently. She pushed me off and with a slight giggle, rolled me onto my back before she gave me a taste of my own medicine, taking the nipple in her mouth and sucking on it hungrily.

“I’ve waited SO long for this.” she panted, taking it back into her mouth before moving to the other and as she sucked, nibbled and flicked with her tongue, one hand started to trace across my stomach, down to my hairless crotch and further...

She froze, lifting her head.

“What the…?” she cried as her fingertips came into contact with something hard, almost vertical.

I woke up in tears.

Maybe sex wasn’t immediately on the cards, but sooner or later it would come into play (I hoped) and the truth would out. Then what would happen?

It was a dream, only a dream. Nevertheless, I knew right then and there that the scenario was just one possibility, one of many and none of them ended well. They all seemed to end in outrage, disappointment.

Getting back to sleep took ages and every time I moved, I could feel my smooth skin and the thought of the dream scenario got more and more real; more and more frightening and more and more likely.

---

I awoke the next morning and it took me a few seconds to establish my bearings. I’m not at my best first thing in the morning, that’s for sure — you may have noticed. Anyway, mum was giving me grief, wanting me to get up and speak on the phone. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and grabbing a dressing gown, stumbled half blind into the kitchen.

“Hello?”

“Good morning sleepy-head. Didn’t wake you up did I?” said a voice I recognised immediately.

“No, it’s alright. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.”

“What? Oh you are silly!” she said, giggling. “Would you like to come with us to London today?”

“Who’s ‘us’?” I asked, wondering whether it was going to be another one of those ‘bunch of girl’ things and the memory of Sharon’s crowd kind of put me off that for some reason.

“Just mummy and I; oh and you of course. Please say you’ll come.”

“Hang on a minute.” I held my hand over the mouthpiece and called to mum. “Jocelyn wants to know if I’d like to go to London with them.”

“When are they going?”

“I got the impression that it would be pretty soon, but hang on, I’ll find out.” I put the phone to my ear again. “When are you going?”

“Well, we’ll come and get you in say, half an hour.”

“Hang on again.” I said and put my hand over the mouthpiece. “Half an hour.” I called.

“That’s not going to be long enough to get those breasts off and you dressed before she gets here.”

“Off?” I said a bit stunned. “I can’t take them off. Not now.”

“I’ve told you already. I don’t want you getting all mixed up in this charade. It’s not healthy and it’s not good.”

“You what? So it’s alright to do it when it suits you, but now it’s not. Is that it?”

“Don’t start Alex. I told you last night was an emergency.”

“Okay, fine. Well this is an emergency too.” I put the phone back to my ear. “I’ll be ready. Bye.”

Mum stormed into the kitchen just as I’d put the phone down.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to get ready to meet Jocelyn and her mum then it’s off to London for the day.”

“Oh no my lad. You’re not going out like that.”

“Excuse me, but the name’s Michelle. I don’t know where you get this ‘my lad’ stuff.”

Mums jaw flapped a few times, but nothing came out. I could see that steam, smoke or both were just about to start squirting out of her ears and her face was reddening as I strode past her towards the bedroom.

Turning the tables on her was quite satisfying and anyway, someone once said to me something about what was sauce for the goose and gander or something — whatever, but I thought this was so appropriate somehow. Mum had decided that because she wanted it, she could suspend the morality of deception in favour of getting the job done.

What she didn’t consider was the fact that it could work both ways. I needed that suspension of morality too, just for today. I slipped on one of my new bras, a black one and a pair of matching panties.

It all seemed perfectly logical in my eyes. Mum however didn’t see things with the same clarity that I did.

“I’m telling you, you’re not going out like that.” she said, trying to be assertive.

“Mum, will you relax? You’ll give yourself heart failure.” I said, touching her cheek and smiling. “I AM going and I’m going to try and put things right. This is the perfect time to do just that. Now; t-shirt or sweatshirt?”

“Are you wearing a skirt?”

“I thought the green wraparound.”

“T-shirt.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ve told you, this is not right.”

“Neither was last night, but that didn’t stop either of us did it?” I said as I pulled on a plain white t-shirt and person-handled the wraparound skirt into place.

“In,” I asked then un-tucked the t-shirt and smoothed it over the waistband of the skirt. “Or out?”

“Out’s nice.” she said and followed me into her bedroom. “Look, I explained that last night was an emergency. It wasn’t my first choice, but well…”

“Yes, and I explained to you that this is an emergency too. “ I rubbed some foundation on my face, but then looked at the plethora of powders, creams, pencils and brushes. This was beyond me. “A little help here?”

“So what constitutes such an emergency?” she asked, smoothing on some bronze coloured eye shadow.

“I need to come clean mum.”

“You don’t need to be Michelle for that.” she said, tracing around my eyelashes with a kohl pencil.

“Yes I do. Who did Jocelyn ask to speak to?”

“Michelle.”

“Well there you go.” I said appraising mum’s makeup job and smiling at her. “Thanks mum.”

I stood up and mum immediately started to brush my hair.

“I don’t like this.” she said, slipping a slide into my hair, just above my left ear.

“I don’t either.” I said turning to face her. “But I HAVE to put her straight. She thinks I’m Michelle and I’m not.”

“I have to say, I’m finding that hard to believe. You’re getting in to this rather well, don’t you think.”

“I know. It’s scary to put it mildly, but I think I’m in love with her and I think she feels the same for me.”

“You’re growing up fast.”

“Well, I’m growing older, even if I’m not growing up.” I said raising my hand above my head and we laughed.

“I need a coat in case it gets cold” I said, but she had already gone to her wardrobe and got a leather jacket that looked like a slightly more ornate version of a biker jacket.

“I haven’t been able to wear this for years. Look after it won’t you, Michelle.”

I felt a lump in my throat at the sound of that name and threw my arms round mum, trying not to let the lump develop into tears.

It’s funny, it must be the clothes, but I already wanted to wear a different pair of shoes with the outfit and was wondering if that wasn’t what I would spend my first earnings on.

God help me.

---

Jocelyn and her mum arrived by taxi and it was Jocelyn who knocked on the door. Before we left, she told mum that we’d probably be back around eight and that I would be dropped off on their way from the station.

“Tell your mum thank you.” said mum.

“She thinks you’re a friend from school.” she whispered as we walked out to the cab. Mrs Tanner sat in the front and Jocelyn and I had the back to ourselves, not that we could do anything, but it was nice to sit close to her.

On the train, Mrs. Tanner’s laptop came out and Jocelyn took out a small leather box and opened it to produce a backgammon set.

“Do you play?” she asked.

“I can play, but I wouldn’t say I was particularly good.”

“That’s okay.” she said and we started playing.

It’s the last time (until the next time that is) that I’ll play her at anything. She opened one huge can of whoop-ass on my sorry butt as the American’s say. To say I lost would be an understatement.

We parted company with Jocelyn’s mum at Victoria station and were told to be back there at no later than six that evening. She kissed her daughter and even gave me a hug before going off to catch a tube.

“Why’s she working on a Sunday?”

“She seems to work all the time. You get used to it. Anyway, let’s go have a look round. Have you been here before?”

“No.” I said looking round at the hugeness of the station concourse.

“Funny. I thought you looked like someone who would have.”

“Yeah, well looks can be deceptive.” I said, feeling a cold shiver of inevitability running icy fingers down my spine.

We started with coffee at Costa’s on the main concourse, before leaving the station and trying to get all the sights in — I think in one breath. After the night before I would have been happy to just wander into St James’ Park or Hyde Park and flake out for a while, but no. She had a few more places to see. It was a really nice day, but as with all things they have to end and I was afraid that this might be the time that this one did.

We were sat on the Embankment with a couple of bags of chips.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” I said, hating myself as now she had made it really difficult to say anything that might upset her and I had a feeling this was going to be one of those things.

“Go on.” she said, her eyes twinkling. I think she was expecting anything other than what I was about to deliver.

“I’m not what you think.” I said, trying a gentle route in.

“What do you mean? Don’t you like me, er that way?”

“No, not at all, I mean yes. In fact I really like you. I think I’m actually falling in love with you. Well, I thought I’d done that the first time I saw you, but now, I can’t stop thinking about you and maybe it’s too late to say ‘falling’.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“You were right about me.”

“Right? What do you mean right, about what?”

“You called me Alex.”

“No.” she said and her face had that look of disbelief.

“I’m afraid so.”

“No. You can’t be. You’re nothing like him.”

“You’re too kind, but that said, it’s who I am.”

There was silence and I sat there looking at my feet.

“Please say something.” I said at last.

“But, you… and you… Why?” she said, her lower lip starting to quiver, which was starting me off too.

“It was something that got all out of control.” With each word, more tears were leaking from my eyes as I saw the girl I was in love with, looking at me with expressions that went from incredulity to something that was bordering on hatred.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. That first time when we were outside the shop and Becky gave you that mouthful, I felt like punching her out. I hated that she could be like that and when we met up again later, I couldn’t help feeling protectiveness because the girls I was with were bloody loonies, mentalists and regardless of who you may have been or your intentions, you didn’t deserve that.”

“But she said…” I knew she was about to say that Becky described me as ‘she’.

“I know. It was part of this control thing they had going. They just liked to be able to lead me around like some little pet or something.”

“So why didn’t you tell me after I gave you the note?”

“What and tell you at school?”

“I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“I didn’t know that.” I said, dabbing my eyes with the back of my hand. “Sharon and the girls said that too, which is what got me into trouble in the first place.”

“So alright then.” she said, evidently not liking having been tarred with the same brush as my mentalist girl friends, but accepted that I didn’t know her either. “What about last night?”

“Mum’s idea. They needed another pair of hands and up popped Michelle.” I took a deep breath.

“When I asked mum if I could go to the party, I was worried that turning up as Alex wouldn’t get me past the door and mum was adamant that I wasn’t going in the guise of a girl. She didn’t like the idea of me dressing up that way anyway and told me it was a dangerous game to play.

“So I hoped that you would drop this wanting to see the girl me again, but you didn’t and to tell you that she wasn’t interested was a lie — I was; very. I didn’t want to hurt you and I didn’t want to come straight out and say it was me. I didn’t know whether you’d believe me and after what I went through with those other girls, I didn’t know that I wouldn’t get the same treatment from you.

“When I agreed to work, I had no idea who the customer was much less it was your birthday party, I only knew that I was getting mum and Ronnie out of a pretty nasty fix. Mum took me out on Friday evening to get some clothes and really went to town, saying that it wasn’t likely that she would get another chance to shop for a daughter.

“I told her that I wasn’t and she said that she knew that, but that I should just play along. She said that if I did any more work for her and Ronnie, I would need some alternate outfits. I couldn’t see that, but I couldn’t stop her. Not sure I wanted to either.

“Then you and your mum turned up and I nearly shit myself. I had no idea you would be coming. When I DID try and tell you, we got distracted and the moment was lost. I talked mum into letting me come with you today like this, but she didn’t agree with it and here I am, trying to explain that I never meant to hurt you, never meant to deceive you and that I’m so sorry. It’s not the best time to tell you I know, but it’s so important that you don’t think I took you for an idiot or something.”

“This is all a bit much to take in at once, Mich — er, Alex.”

“You ought to see it from this side.” I said, smiling a bleak smile. “And I prefer Michelle.” I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing myself utter those words. She was shocked too, her eyebrows almost hitting a low orbit — somewhere around Mars I think.

There was a long spell of silence when neither of us could look at the other. I didn’t want to push anything and suddenly as if a spell had been broken, I started to feel very self-conscious.

I knew that I had passed the point of no return, past that safe place where fiction ends and the truth appears. I was wholly at her mercy and she was at liberty to get as pissed-off with me as she saw fit. I HAD deceived her and I deserved whatever I got. I just hoped that this didn’t entail passing this all round school.

---

Jocelyn and I didn’t exchange a single word from that time onwards and I left the taxi saying thanks to her mum, adding to Jocelyn that I’d probably see her at school. She just looked away and I knew that if she had her way, I wouldn’t see her ever again and inside, the bubble burst.

I stomped past mum, who just blinked as I left scorch-marks on the carpet heading for my room at warp three, where I pulled the slide out of my hair along with a fair wodge of hair, tore off the t-shirt and started pulling at the falsies, tears running like rivers down my cheeks, leaving dark stains in their wake.

I couldn’t budge the beasts that were firmly attached to my chest and gave up, burying my head into the bedclothes, weeping like a baby.

A hand touched my shoulder as soothing sounds of “there, there” filtered through the veil of tears and I turned putting my arms around mum, holding her tight and fearing if I was to let go, everything would crumble.

“It’s not that bad.” she said. “It could have got a lot worse. I’m proud of you and I’m sorry that I misjudged you. You did the right thing you know.”

“It doesn’t help though mum.” I sniffed. “I hoped so much that she would just love me, regardless of the package.”

“Some people — most people probably, simply can’t. The package makes up so much of what attracts us in the first place.”

“But I WAS a nice package. What changed?”

“I think you know the answer to that one don’t you?”

---

School was a blur on the Monday and I found myself just walking away from all those people that asked about Jocelyn, hoping I think for some juicy gossip, some tasty morsels of whether we’d had sex, whether she was good at it or anything else they could possibly think of that had absolutely nothing to do with them or their disgusting, infantile, tiny, petty little minds.

I couldn't give them any of that, not that I wanted to, I didn’t have any anyway and even if I had….

One week, two weeks then three went past and I was starting to enjoy some semblance of normality. I had dated Jocelyn. As it turns out we only went out the once and had a couple of kisses, but it afforded me a bit of status within the boys now. I may have been one, if not THE smallest in the year, but I wasn’t at the bottom of the heap anymore.

The curious part was, I had nothing to add to their conversations, which centred round ogling the girls and deciding which one or ones they would ‘have’ — a technical term for those one would like to have sexual relations with — which in their eyes, was getting their rocks off and not a lot else. That seemed to be the sum total of what passed through that jelly of hormone inflamed grey matter between their ears, laughingly called brains.

I found myself trying to laugh along with or agree, but for the life of me I couldn’t. I found that instead of ogling, I was looking at how they carried themselves, how they walked or how they spoke to one another. Scarier still, was the fact that their clothes held a particular fascination for me and how, regardless of what they were wearing, some looked stylish and others didn’t.

I found myself pretending to find the boys puerile antics interesting, but couldn’t and I’d get home in the afternoon, usually when mum was out only to reach into my wardrobe to touch some of my new clothes, sometimes taking them out and holding them against me - the blouses and especially the pencil skirt. Mostly though I would take the box with the beasts inside and stare at them while letting my fingertips glide over the soft, smooth, but now cold surface, wishing they were real and not confined to a box.

---

After a month, I felt that I was pretty much over Jocelyn. I didn’t get any of the badgering at school anymore and I think that most of the people that had shown any interest at all were more interested in what was current and Jocelyn and I most certainly weren’t.

Needless to say, as well as leaving what Jocelyn and I were or weren’t doing out of their conversations, I found myself receding into the background. I still had a certain respect — albeit an enigmatic respect, but the whole school thing had been turned on its head as I felt that my place should have been with the girls and not with the boys.

This, you understand, was not something I made obvious, but I was almost leading two lives or I would have been had I the courage to let Michelle out again.

About a week before my sixteenth birthday, I was sitting in class listening to the boy badgering the girls as usual and found that I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t count myself in with all those moronic juveniles, those idiots. They generally had no idea what they were talking about and were just a bunch of hormone infested bags of muscle. A dangerous combination if ever there was one.

I went home that afternoon and out came the entire collection of femininity.

I sat on the bed with tears roiling down my cheeks as I stroked and felt each individual garment.

“What you up to…” said mum. I didn’t know she was in. I thought I was alone and there she was. I stood up so quickly, I nearly left the ground.

“I, er, um, I don’t know.” I said quietly.

“What’s happened?”

“Nothing. I just, well…” I sat down on the bed, wringing my hands and trying to formulate what I thought was happening, but wasn’t sure. “I don’t think I’m supposed to be Alex.” I said.

“Woo. That’s a biggy.” she said. “What’s brought all this about?”

“Don’t know.” I said in a tiny voice. “But I don’t think I can leave Michelle in the boxes anymore.”

“Ah. Hmm. That’s going to be tricky.” she said.

“Why?”

“Well what about school?”

“I don’t mean at school. I would never leave that place alive if I did. Even I’m not that stupid.”

“So what did you have in mind?”

“Maybe she could help with the business? At weekends, maybe, perhaps, please?” The tears were still running down my face and I know I must have looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I’d had plenty of time to think about it — all day everyday for the last month or more.

“We’ll see,” she said.

Well that made me feel better anyway. Just that teensy little window of possibility…

---

Mum was as good as her word and that very weekend, I joined mum and Ron and worked Michelle’s little arse off, enjoying every minute of it. I didn’t even mind the fact that I was working on a night that ordinarily, I would have expected to have some sort of a party, even if it was only me, mum and a muffin with a candle on the top!

I did settle a bit more from then on. Mum kind of got used to the fact that when I got home I would probably change into a skirt or something and I always kept my legs (and other areas) smooth. I even got better with the makeup. I say kind of because I think she wasn’t sure about having a time-share son and daughter. I suppose that would confuse anyone, but for me, it meant that I didn’t have to spend all day pretending, even though I don’t think I had any intentions whatsoever of making the change to Michelle permanent.

I still got a bit teary-eyed when I thought about Jocelyn. I didn’t know what she was up to and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care; that wouldn't be true at all. I would really hate to think of her unhappy, especially because of me. I would much prefer to think of her happy with me, but happy in any sense would do at a pinch.

Mum found out about the fact that I hadn’t really let Jocelyn go when she got home one afternoon and I was sitting there staring into space with the pencil skirt on my lap and a worn used ticket to London, in my hand as I stared into space.

“You still haven’t let her go have you?”

“I suppose not.” I said looking guilty.

“There will be someone else out there you know. I know you probably can’t see that, but believe me, it’s true.”

“I guess.” I said. She just stood there looking at me for a minute then ruffled my hair and wandered out of my room.

I was surprised that she didn’t make more of it, but there you go. Some things we think are important and really they’re not. Other times though, we think things are unimportant and really they’re not that either. It’s deciding which is which that’s the hard bit I guess and Jocelyn was very important to me — still.

At least I wasn’t constantly wandering around like a fart in a trance as I had been. I’d actually been improving at school although they were a bit concerned that I didn’t take more interest in sport. “So necessary for a chap of his age” they told mum. She didn’t tell them that I got plenty of sport from life and as far as exercise was concerned, well the catering business gave me plenty of that too!

---

The next time I worked, I was told that I needed to make a special effort with the appearance.

“These are special customers and they’re paying over the odds for us. It’s the least we can do.” she said. I ho-hummed, but didn’t really need much of an excuse to get dolled up, even if it was only for a night of clearing tables and getting the odd drink, or helping an old lady to the toilets or something. I have to say, it was a lot more varied than you’d think.

Well, maybe not.

Anyway, we arrived at the appropriate time and spent the next hour or so setting up.

My last job was to fill the ice buckets and when I returned, the place was already starting to fill.

“Here we go.” I said to myself and got ready for another manic evening. Mum surprised me by removing my apron and took me to one side.

“I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you.” she said and led me to a single table just off the main function area away from the hustle and bustle. “Sit.”

I sat down, wondering what was going on.

Moments later, I could here a familiar voice, whinging that it wasn’t fair that it was ‘expected’ that ‘all’ these silly functions be attended.

“When do I get time for…” she said, stopping mid-flight and staring open-mouthed at me.

“Um, hi.” I said and stood up.

“What are ‘you’ doing here?” she asked.

“I could ask you the same question.” We turned and looked at our respective parents.

“Well?” we chorused.

“You need to get this sorted. Either be together or be apart, but we can’t take any more of this being apart but wishing you were still together.” said mum.

I looked at Jocelyn and she looked at me, both of us turning a deep shade of crimson.

“There.” said Mrs. Tanner. “That’s better. I can’t say I agree with how you young people lead your lives, but I think Michelle is a very nice young… er… person and deserves another chance. He, er, she was honest and truthful and you should respect that. It’s a rare commodity and I should know. Now sort yourselves out.” And with that, the two mums nodded to one another and left us to it.

Both of us sat down, neither of us saying anything. I don’t think either of us could believe that our parents had done what they had, but there we were, face to face for the first time in months, well at least two and was it water under the bridge? Something like that anyway.

There was wine on the table and rather than allow them to come and take it away, I poured us a glass each and held up my glass to say cheers. Jocelyn wasn’t so forthcoming.

“Oh come on. I didn’t know anything about this. I was just told to dress smart and make an effort for some very important customers. Did I do alright? You look gorgeous, edible even.” I said, cringing at what had just come out of my mouth.

“Humph!” she said.

“For God’s sake, Jocelyn. Can’t you say that you’re even the least bit amused that our mums would be so conniving?”

“She did outdo herself this time.” she said grudgingly.

“So,” I said raising my glass. “To evil, conniving old mum’s who don’t know when to leave well enough alone and here’s also to hoping that they don’t stop.”

“I can drink to that!” she said and with some of the ice broken at the very least, we had somewhere to start.

Later, the last drops of wine were almost wrung from the bottle and I couldn’t hold it any longer. I just had to visit the ladies.

I left the stall and found that I wasn’t alone in there.

“Have you anything to tell me?” she asked archly.

“Not that I can think of. I don’t think I stopped loving you, but other than that, I can’t think of anything that can’t wait. You?”

“No.” she said

I nodded. “Good.”

There was something of a pregnant pause and I stood there feeling a bit like a spare whatsit, but I took my life into my hands and took her hand.

“I DO have something to say.” I said looking deep into her eyes. “I can’t see Michelle going away. Maybe she won’t be here full time, but that’s not something I want to rush into. To all intents and purposes I feel I am a girl and I want you to know that it wasn’t my fault I fell in love with you and it wasn’t my fault that I was born the wrong sex so…”

She pressed a finger to my lips.

“Just shut up.” she said and shoved me back into the stall where she kissed me so fiercely that I was pleased that all I had to do was to let my legs buckle and dropped heavily to the toilet seat. Jocelyn just straddled my legs and planted her lips on mine again.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, but now I think whatever does, I know that I have the best mum, mum-in-law (sort of) and girl that anyone could want, although I secretly think that Jocelyn is in love with Michelle and doesn’t really like Alex all that much — at all.

I’ll just have to make sure that he’s out when she visits.