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STRONG CAUTION ON CHAPTER SEVENTEEN OF “THE EYES OF AN ANGEL”...
If you are offended by descriptions of extreme violence and use of graphic language, please consider skipping this chapter.
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Chapter Seventeen
Wednesday, December 23, 1997

New York is a city full of life especially around Christmas time. The tree in Rockefeller Center is always enough to cheer anyone if by its shear beauty alone. I had visited it once or twice with my mother and father but I was very young. The Shannon children had been there every Christmas since they were four-years-old.
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Since it was colder that morning than it was the evening before, the family was dressed quite a bit warmer. The girls wore matching outfits exchanging their dresses for warm jeans and pink down-filled ski jackets. Mittens hid the pretty colors on their fingers. Scarves covered their necks and chests. And Ami still looked every bit a young lady.
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By the weatherman’s prediction, it was about thirty degrees and they could see their breath falling from their mouths but that did not deter any their enthusiasm. They were on a quest to have a good time.
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One of Jun’s birthday presents had been a private meeting with Kathy Lee Gifford. Anna Brightman, a secretary for her father’s law firm... Anna had befriended Jun on one of those days that Robert couldn’t possibly get away from his precious business... had arranged it.

Hana and Jun were somewhere in the General Electric building enjoying the time with Regis Philbin’s television partner, probably drinking mulled apple cider. That gave Robert the opportunity to be alone with Ami for two hours. Ami had asked her father to go skating on the Ice Rink beneath the giant Christmas tree while Prometheus would stand guard over them.

Although her father had never been a good skater, Ami seemed destined to be on the ice. Once there, she put all of the other young ladies to shame. She wasn't bad for a born-and-bred San Diego girl!

Robert skated with Ami and wouldn't allow her out of his sight. Still, after about an hour, he became separated from her. He found his way to a concession stand and bought a cup of coffee to warm his bones. He sat down on one of the benches and surveyed the rink.

Robert was slowly becoming accustomed to Ami’s new gender. Hana had read the riot act to him and had given him a lot more than that to consider even after the girls went to bed. She wasn't too pleased with him treating Ami in such a brash way for something she had no control over.
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Robert was growing comfortable on the bench when he spied Ami skating as a young man approach her. Robert decided to watch for a while but really didn’t know what to think. Ami began talking and skating with young man for a while. She was so graceful that it nearly knocked her father over. He even cracked a smile when they started to skate around the rink in circles and figure eights.

Soon the young man, who appeared to be of late high-school age, took Ami’s right hand in his and they skated together in tandem as if they would be performing in the Olympics. Ami’s body moved nearly in sync with his and when he tossed her in the air, Ami landed on the ice as though they had practiced it hundreds of times before.

The young man gave Ami a peck on her lips and Robert didn't like that one bit. He jumped to his feet, nearly tripped over a little girl who was tying her skate, and darted to Ami’s vacinity.
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“Ro... ungh... Ami.”

“Hi Daddy!” Ami smiled. “Daddy, this is Peter. He’s training to be an Olympic figure skater.”

Robert reluctantly extended his hand to the young man and shook it.

“You skate well, young man. Looks like you and my so… my er... my daughter… it… it looks like you were... you were born to skate together.”

Ami blushed. She and Peter were holding hands tightly and it was apparent that the young man was in the process of developing affection for Ami.

“Thank you, sir. Ami is the one who should be in the Olympics.”

“Oh? Really?” Robert was sarcastic in his reply.

“You must have seen her skating, sir?”

“Peter asked me to go out with him tonight for dinner, Daddy. Can I? Please? Daddy, can I?”

Robert didn’t know what to say. He obviously hated being put on the spot in front of someone he didn’t really know. He also detested the fact that his son was being accepted so readily as a young woman. This fueled his sarcasm even more.

“Oh? And what were your plans for hi... uh... he... her Peter? A late night rendezvous over martinis? Smooching in Central Park. A romp in the sack?”

“No sir. It’s nothing like that at all. I’m staying at the hotel across the street from your condominium… Ami told me where you live… I hear that they have a great nightclub in your building! I’d love to take Ami out for dinner and maybe do some dancing afterward. Your daughter is very beautiful. I promise to have her home at a reasonable hour.”

Robert spat in the boy's face. “How old are you, Peter?”

“Seventeen, sir.”

“But my suh... my daughter is only turning thirteen, Peter.”

Peter looked flustered. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t ask her how old she was. I thought that she was sixteen or seventeen tops.”

Robert struck out at the boy and abandoned any feminine reference to Ami.

“Well he’s not eighteen, his name is Robbie and he’s a boy. So if you like to pick up on thirteen year old boys, maybe you’re a pervert, Peter. But I say that you’re a goddamn homosexual. You freaking faggot.”

“He?”

Peter looked sick to his stomach and quickly released Ami’s hand. He violently pushed her away from him.

“God. I thought you were a girl. I don’t understand? Why are you dressed like a girl? God! I’m going to be sick. Why do you let him dress like a girl if he’s a boy?”

Robert lurched at him but Peter skated quickly away.

In the meantime, Ami’s joyous expression had faded and she felt utterly ashamed of herself.

Robert yelled at Peter to fuck off and die as Ami rapidly skated from the rink. She returned her skates quickly then hailed a taxi to take her back to her father’s condominium.
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Ami couldn't get in the condo fast enough. When she did, she locked all of the locks and dead bolts, then ran to her room and locked the door. She then called me in San Diego.
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“Meghan?”

I could tell that she was crying.

“Hey sweetie! What’s the matter? Aren’t you having a good time in New York? How'd your daddy...”

Her crying became very bitter.

“I hate my Daddy and I wish that I was dead.”

“What happened, Ami?”

“I can’t go on living, Meghan...”

“Ami? What happened?”

“Well, Meghan, I just met this dreamy boy a couple of hours ago while we were skating. He liked me and wanted to take me out dancing tonight in the club in Daddy’s building…”

“And?”

“Well, Daddy was calling me Ami and referring to me as a girl until Peter asked my father if he could take me out. Then Daddy told him that I was a boy and he called Peter a pervert.”

“Oh, Ami. I’m sorry. Are you going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, Meghan. I’ve never been so embarrassed.”

“Where’s your momma and Jun?”

“Jun got a birthday present to meet Kathy Lee Gifford. They're in Rockerfeller Center somewhere. Jun’s singing for Kathy Lee.”

“So, you’re all alone?”

“Yes, Meghan. I'm scared. I wish that you were here.”

Robert Shannon arrived at the condo and had just slammed the door shut behind him. I could hear him cussing in the background over my phone.

“Me, too, honey. What’s that I hear?”

“It’s Daddy... he just got home.”

Ami started to squeal.

“He sounds mad, Meghan. He sounds really, really mad.”

Ami was talking more like a little girl than I had ever heard her sound before and she was sobbing. She cried uncontrollably but managed to speak.

“I’m afraid, Meghan…”

“Honey, be careful."

"Help me, Meghan!"

"I wish I was there for you.”

“You’re here in my heart, Meghan! Please stay on the line. Please?”

“Okay, sweetie.”

I could hear Robert trying to open the door to Ami’s bedroom. I imagined him slamming his body against it. Then I could hear him pounding at the door. It did not sound pleasant at all and I feared for the safety of my very best friend.

“Meghan.”

Ami was delirious.

“Meghan! Please help me. I’m really, really scared!”

I tried to answer her but she had dropped the telephone into her pillow. I could still hear what was going on but everything was a bit muffled. It sounded like she was struggling to keep her father from coming into her room.
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“Open up you little prick.”

I heard everything he said as clear as if I was standing in the room.

“No, Daddy. I’m scared of you.”

“What in the hell are you trying to prove, Robbie? You’re not a girl. You shouldn’t be making boys think that you are.”

“But, I am a girl, Daddy. Really I am. I ‘m really a girl.”

Ami could not control her tears and barely managed to speak.

“Bull shit, Robbie. You’re my son and you’re going to start acting like my son or I’ll knock some sense into you. You may have your mother fooled, but I’m smarter than she is. Now apologize to me you little mother fucker.”

“No, Daddy. I won’t apologize to you. It’s you who should be apologizing to me.”

“For what? You goddamn little piece of shit.”

“You embarrassed me in front of Peter. Now he thinks that I’m a boy.”

“But you are a boy, Robbie. Goddammit. You’re a boy.”

“No, Daddy. I’m not and I’ve never been one. Never in my life have I really even felt like one.”

“I beg to differ with you, son.”

“What’s to beg, Daddy? I don’t have any boy parts.”

“It says on your birth certificate that you’re male.”

“But that’s just a piece of paper, Daddy. The doctor made a mistake. She didn’t know that I was really a girl.”

“But it’s legal and binding, son. You’re a boy according to the state of California.”

“Maybe according to them... but I’m a girl now, Daddy. In God’s eyes I’m a girl and always have been.”
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Robert had been slamming into the door so much that it weakened and finally gave way. The door jamb splintered into several large pieces and nearly hit Ami in her face.

When he was face-to-face with his child, Robert's rage became evident. He grabbed Ami by her arm and flung her against the wall. Ami slid to the floor and left an indentation in the wall. Luckily, she managed to remain alert.

“You’re hurting me, Daddy! Please stop!”

“I need to knock some sense into you, son. It’s for your own good. If you’re mother can’t cure you, I surely can.”

Robert slapped Ami across her face and her nose erupted in a torrent of blood. Some of it flew onto the wall and followed the contour of the dent her body had just made. Another slap from her father blackened her eye.

Ami managed to get to her bed but was becoming more and more dizzy. She almost fainted as her father left the room. She noticed the cell phone and picked it up.

“Are you still there, Meghan?”

Ami was horse and she was crying uncontrollably.

“Yes, honey. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, Meghan. I don’t feel very well.”

“Do you want me to call your momma?”

“Would you? Please?”

“Okay, honey. I’ll hurry.”
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I hung up the phone as Robert returned to Ami’s bedroom. He was gone a little more than a minute but returned with a Nordstrom’s bag.

Robert tossed the contents of the bag onto the bed. There was a pair of battery-operated hair clippers, a tee shirt with an anti-feminist slogan blazoned across the chest, a pair of Levis 501 button-ups, a pair of Michael Jordan Air Nikes and some white tube socks.

Ami saw her father throw the things on the bed but she was taken by surprise when flipped the switch of the hair clippers and sheared some of her hair from her head.

Ami slapped at her father, hitting him sharply in the eye. Her nails snagged his cheek and he gushed blood onto her and the sheets of her bed. However, he met her with a powerful punch to her jaw that left her unconscious.

When Ami regained her consciousness she saw a big pile of raven black hair lying on the carpeting of her bedroom floor. She felt at her head and her father had shaved all of her to the scalp.

Ami began crying hysterically.

“Shut up, Robbie. It’s for your own good.”

“You had no right to do this to me. I hate you, Daddy.”

Ami was crying so hard that she gurgled. Then Robert slapped her hard across her cheek. She was out cold.
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Ami gained consciousness again, doubled her fists and hit at her father with downward motions. She did little harm to the man who outweighed her by over one-hundred pounds.

Robert grabbed Ami's wrists and eventually held both of them with one hand so that he had the other one free.

It was then that he started ripping the clothing from Ami's body. First he ripped her pretty new Dolce & Gabana blouse that her mother bought for her as an early Christmas present from her upper torso.

Then he yanked her bra from her chest letting the clasps to open. He was obviously flustered when he saw Ami's breasts fly free of the confines of the brassiere but he continued ripping away at her clothing.

Her brand-new Donna Klein slacks were next and the thong panties that matched the discarded bra. These ripped from her easily but he kept her lower torso.

As a result of Robert's rage, Ami was now naked in front of her lunatic father. He saw a girl, not his son, and flew into another rage. He couldn’t understand why she looked so much like a girl and had originally reasoned that it was all an act. Obviously, Ami was a girl.

Seeing his child, the one he regarded as a boy, naked in front of him only served to fluster him more. His rage was hotter than ever. The fact that Robbie was developing into a young woman only served to fire up his emotions. Ami had no penis; she had no testicles; she had no indicators that would have suggested she’d ever been a boy.
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“Put the clothes on, Robbie… you sicken me.”

“But, Daddy…” Ami whimpered.

“Put them on now you little asshole. And do something about those goddamn boobs. I'll cut them off if you don't."

"It's not my fault, Daddy,"

"Cover your freaking body. What boy would let someone do this to him? You disgust me.”
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Ami refused to heed her father's commands so he grabbed her inner thigh and right arm and eventually stood her up on her feet. His grip was so strong that humongous bruises were forming almost instantly.

The more her father grabbed her the more she tried to avoid contact with the boy clothing.

Her father became livid.

“Put the clothes on, you mother fucking little prick. It’s for your own goddamn good.”
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Ami was delirious. She could not keep from crying and squealed as her father punched her in her abdomen several more times.

“So you like looking like a little girl, asshole? Well I’m going to make a man out of you for your own good. Believe me, Robbie, you’ll appreciate this when you grow up.”

“Please, Daddy!”

Ami could not stop sobbing, she hurt so much.

“Stop it, Daddy! Please? You’re hurting me.”
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Blood was gushing from Ami’s nose. Robert’s wedding band had made contact with her upper lip and nicked the inside of her right nostril. Bruises now dominated most of her face and upper torso. She looked as if a rapist had worked her over good.

Soon Ami weakened and fell over onto her bed. Blood from her nose began puddling on her white Egyptian cotton sheets. Then she vomited.
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About that time, Hana and Jun were returning home. I wasn't able to make contact with Hana.

Robert heard the door open unlock and when it opened he froze in horror. He was hunched over his child. He became scared stiff.
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“Robert?”

Hana called to her husband as she was walking down the hall.

Jun ran ahead of her mother and was horrified when she saw her father lumbering over Ami on all fours.
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"Ami! We’re home!”

Hana wasn’t looking toward them but as she turned the corner she looked up.

“Kathy Lee was wonderful and...”
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Hana’s jubilation evaporated as she saw Ami lying on her bed curled up in a fetal position. She was bald, naked, shivering and bruised. Robert was straddling her and trying to force the Levi Strauss 501s up her legs.

When he saw Hana Robert flinched away from his endeavor.

Hana managed to summon enough strength to push Robert off her daughter. She threw her jacket over Ami and confronted her husband.

“You bastard!”

Hana had never been as mad as she was at that moment.

“How dare you lay a hand on my daughter! Why did you do this to her?”

Robert didn’t know what to say. He had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and had no excuses. So, like an animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, he froze again.

As soon as he gained his composure, he began cussing out Hana, Ami and Jun.

“Fuck you, Hana. I did this for Robbie’s own good. He’s a goddamn boy. Jesus Christ! When are all of you going to learn that God made him a man?”

“You leave God out of this, you bastard!”

Hana temperature seared.

“You molested your daughter for her own good, Robert? Now you’re trying to make this a part of God’s will? Where’s the reasoning in that, you mother fucker? And why did you have to do that to her hair?”

“He was skating with a boy... they were going to…”

“So what gives you the right to shear off her hair?”

“The boy was treating him like a girl… I had to save him... make him look like my son... fuck you Hana, I don't need this. When are you going to see that all of this is wrong... that he’s a fucking boy?”
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Jun returned with an ice pack and put it on her sister’s eye. She tried to comfort Ami who was shivering and rocking back and forth uncontrollably. She kept the ice pack on her eye and the both of them cowered every time their father came too close to them.
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“Fuck all of you.”

Robert knew that he was wrong but had to take it out on someone.

“Fuck us, Robert? No. Fuck you. Once again you’re thinking only of yourself. You don’t even see that Ami might have feelings of her own. It’s all about Robert Allan Shannon. That’s all it ever was, is and ever shall be.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s for his own good.”

“Like hell it is, Robert. I’m going to call my sister Keiko. She’ll put us up for the rest of our stay in New York.”
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Robert disappeared into the master bedroom.
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Hana and Jun helped get Ami dressed in some warm clothes. Hana gathered up some clothing and rang Keiko’s number.
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Robert was in the living room when they began to leave.

“Get back here, Hana.”

Now Robert wavered. She would have none of it.

"No, Robert. We're leaving."

Robert began pouting like a little boy.

“It’s Christmas tomorrow. We need to open presents. You and my kids need Christmas. We need Christmas.”

Robert’s mood had changed. He was now acting like a small boy on Christmas day. This caused Hana grave concern.

“You and my girls have to open your presents. Please open your presents. Please, please open your presents.”

Robert was almost in tears.
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Ami and Jun could not stop crying. They flinched every time their father got near them.

Hana convinced them to open just one present. She made Robert sit across the room.

Jun reluctantly ripped the paper from a small box and found that it contained a Cartier watch. Ami’s present was a VISA card enclosed in a wallet of Italian leather. Hana’s was a diamond necklace. All of the presents, however, could not overshadow what had just happened.

“You can't buy our love, Robert. We've been trying to give it to you but you're the fool. You'll pay for what you did to Ami."

Robert cowered in the corner.

"You have all the nerve."

Robert continued to cower. He stood in the corner repeating “It's Christmas” until Hana told him to shut the hell up.

“I'm calling the police Robert."

Hana got the phone and called 9-1-1.

"We'll see what they have in store for you now.”

Robert just kept repeating “It's Christmas” over and over again like a child.
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Robert Shannon's mood changed when he realized that the police were on the way. Without cleaning up or putting a warm coat on, he ran from the condo in fear of his fate.

The dispatcher assure Hana that a pair of NYPD detectives and crew ofEMTs would arrive soon.
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A shivering Ami sat on the couch with a ski cap covering her now-bald head. Tears had been flowing constantly since she left the ice skating rink. She looked hysterical.

“It hurts, Momma.”

“Where, honey?”

“In my heart.”

Amy continued to cry bitterly.

“Why can't he see I'm not a boy, Momma?”

“I don't know, honey. He's a blinded fool.”

“But I tried to make him love me and look what he did.”

“Cry on my shoulder, honey. I'll never stop loving you.”

“Me neither, Ami. Momma and I will help you get through this. Meghan too. We love you.”

And they wept until help arrived.