I got a call yesterday from a woman friend who I spent most of the summer helping move. She had been in her large suburban home for almost 40 years and it was a trying experience getting her to make decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of. Need I say she is a hoarder that can't make decisions? She's finally almost unpacked in her 800 square foot condo.
She wanted to tell me how much she appreciates having a male friend for the first time in her life. That astounded me - a 64 year old woman who has never had a male friend! I guess that having been married four times might have been a clue to the idea that men are either lovers or casual acquaintances, but that is so foreign to my way of thinking I never considered it. I have several women who I can call good friends where romance or sex is not part of the picture. I just have to wonder whether being transgendered ( she doesn't know) made me feel safe enough to her to allow a deeper friendship.
Comments
You can bet on that
You probably did one thing that most men in her acquaintance never think about. You treated her as an equal. It's amazing how that goes.
I can't think of how many times I get talked down to by men. I used to be someone some people came to for help in diagnosing what was wrong with their cars. Not that I was a mechanic but that I knew something about engines and how things are put together. Other women will still come to me but men will disbelieve what I say until they examine the evidence themselves.
And then they will condescendingly announce that I was wrong and that the problem is really -- just exactly what I told them it was in the first place. Whether that is low air in the tires, a broken strut, or a dead battery -- it's a car therefore the man must be correct and the woman must be wrong.
It is to laugh.
That attitude runs marrow deep in most men (not all) even about things they know nothing about -- well, at least they know more than any woman could. It's a pity. Men often complain that they just can't understand women when in fact, they aren't even trying to do so.
You did not put her down. And that lifted her up.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
I never had female friends.
Before I came out, I never had female friends. It simply was not allowed at all. Did not get along with the men either, because I was not "man" enough. Now I have lots of female friends.
I get put in my place by Men a lot too, but I just laugh it off mostly. Little do they know that I already did that shit, and don't want to do it anymore. God, even had them change my oil the other day, LOL, what's become of me ! Once in a while though, when I know a many is leading me around by the hand, I will suprise them. But, let's face it ladies, Men love to be in authority, and know it all, and when you feed that, they just bend over backwards to help you. Come on, take advantage of your new found power. LOL I am very happy as a woman.
Khadijah
Female Friends
That's all I had growing up. I lived in this development and there weren't a lot of guys my age around but there were a lot of girls. My only other true friend, my best friend,was the only other guy in the neighborhood for several years. Not that I was complaining, I felt right at home.