Had another series of flashbacks yesterday, and thank God for the friends who chatted with me online as i worked my way through it. I am finding all kinds of ironies in my struggles, both with the assaults and with my gender. For example, I realized that i owed to my abusive step-father a thanks, because by forcing us to move when he did, I was able to escape from the monster who was using me. And despite his other flaws, he never touched me sexually, which gave me some opportunity to heal enough to function. As for my gender issues, I am finding I am in a quiet spot in the middle of the storm, and I am grateful. I may be no closer to being able to live as i wish full time, but I am finding that bothers me a little less at the moment, and feel that as long as I know who i am, sharing that with others is less important, at least at the moment. I would also like to take a moment to thank everyone who has left me a message or comment of support here. Believe me, I am very grateful to all. I couldn't have come as far as i have without all of you. Hugs to all.