Lulu

A Dark Comedy About Mistaken Identity

Chapter 4 - Girls, Girls, Girls

by Lulu Martine

When I woke up the room seemed full of women. Tall women, mostly blonde, wearing too much makeup and talking in voices that were either too deep or strangely shrill. Mostly it was just noise because none of them were talking to me, just to each other.

The big blonde from before, Alice(?), had yielded her place at my bedside to a slinky, black woman who nevertheless had blonde hair and blue-green eyes. She looked at me, saw I was awake and whispered, "Wishes really do come true, don't they, honey?"

I started to speak but remembered that I wasn't supposed to talk and pointed at the keyboard. She handed it to me. One of the other girls, t-girls(?), noticed and exclaimed, "Hey, she's awake."

This provoked a chorus of people calling out, "Lulu!" and "How do you feel?" and "Congratulations, new girl, you!" and Alice saying, "She can't talk yet, she has to use the keyboard."

I tried to type but all that came out was garble. I couldn't get my thoughts straight. Something had happened that I didn't understand. Who were all these people, why did they keep calling me Lulu and she? Why were they so congratulatory?

What the hell had happened to my life? Where were my parents? I wanted to ask for a cellphone, even if I couldn’t talk, I could message my folks. Or someone. But I couldn’t make my fingers hit the right keys.

I didn't realize I had started crying until Alice confirmed it. "Why the tears, cupcake?" she asked.

The room got quieter. I made strangled sobbing noises that hurt my throat.

Alice said, "Maybe you guys better leave, doctor says she can come home tomorrow. We can have a big party by the pool."

"Yeah, okay," someone said. "Don't cry, birfday girl," someone else said. "We'll see you tomorrow, Lulu," and, "Goodnight, baby girl."

Were these people crazy? I wondered.

Alice walked everyone out then came back and sat by my bed. "Too much?" she asked.

I nodded. She handed me tissue from the little box on the tray table and I wiped my eyes. One hand wandered down to my chest and I felt the shape under the gown. Breasts. I had breasts?

I lifted the top edge of the gown and looked under it. Yes, I had two large breasts on my chest. There seemed to be bandages under them and in my armpits but there they were, breasts.

"I'm a boy," I siad in a squeaky whisper, not caring that I wasn't supposed to talk. It hurt and I touched the bandages on my throat.

"Don't talk," Alice warned, handing me the keyboard again.

"y tits?" I typed. I forgot about asking for a cellphone for the moment.

She blinked after reading it. "Well, you got breast implants, honey. You...." She stared at me. "Are you that confused?"

I don't know exactly what happened then. I sort of remembered the dream I'd had and maybe I realized just what had happened. That the hospital had given me a sex change intended for someone else. That Alice thought I was this person who had wanted a sex change.

I went into shock and hysterics or I fainted or something. A nurse came in and gave me a shot and I went to sleep again.

I remember thinking just before the sedative hit that I hoped I didn’t dream about the operation again. Maybe part of me hoped I would not have to wake up at all.