A Dark Comedy About Mistaken Identity
by Lulu Martine
The week after I turned sixteen my life got turned upside down by the kind of mistake that would make a good comedy movie.
Several months before, I got hit by a car while biking across town to see a movie with my friends. I don’t actually remember anything about the accident or for a couple of days before or after. Someone ran a stop light and hit me inside the crosswalk. I'd gotten off the bike to walk it across, they told me later.
I woke up in the hospital with a concussion, a broken right arm, a cracked left femur, cuts and contusions all over and some heavy bruising around my hips. I went home in a wheelchair. It took a while for the leg to heal but I was back walking soon. Things seemed okay until I started having other problems.
The doctors decided that I had a hernia that needed surgical repair so I checked into the hospital in the middle of the summer before my junior year in high school for a minor operation.
My name was Martin Gordon Lewis and honest, no one had noticed the stupid name thing, it was just my name. Most everyone called me Marty, anyway. Marty Lewis. No one called me Lulu, yet.
I didn't know it but someone with almost the same name as me also checked into the hospital less than fifteen minutes after I did. Louis Martán Gordon danced in an all-boy drag revue under the name Lulu Martine but the hospital had insisted on using his real name. Except, they got it wrong and so before the day was over the hospital had two people registered as Martin Gordon Lewis in the same surgical wing, rooms 324 and 342, just around the corner of one of those twisty hospital corridors from each other.
Add to the fact that both of us stood about five-nine, weighed around 130 pounds, had light brown shaggy hair and eyes that were either gray or blue–I called mine gray but he called his blue -– Louis and Martin could almost be twins and could easily pass for brothers, or siblings anyway. Louis was seven years older but we were superficially nearly identical.
Except one of us had a routine hernia repair scheduled, said hernia caused by traumatic injury and covered under insurance, and the other person was scheduled for a complete sex change operation paid for by a wealthy admirer. Other than minor facts like that, you can understand the hospital's confusion.
One of us died on the operating table, victim of a previously undiagnosed cerebral aneurysm, and the other woke up in room 342, the survivor of a highly successful sex change. I know which one I am, but I'm still not always sure of which one I would prefer to be.
As mistakes go this one was, pardon the expression, a lulu. And so was I.
Comments
Prologue? Finis?
This story is a tasty little amuse-bouche and nicely done. The question I have is this but the beginning of a serial, or EoM, (End of mission)?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
Prologue, I suppose
I wasn't sure how to mark it for length but yes, there will be more. Thank you for the comment.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
I Agree with Nancy, LuLu
There are many here who practiced the shorter forms, which they execute with both
passion, and clever invention. The little you've given us here, shows clearly that
you are every bit as capable of the same. Even though there may be very few unique
story plots out there, I think that voice and quality of writing are always available
for any writer to contrive to entertain a reader. In that light, I'd have to say that
I look forward to seeing you punch one of the tags for a much longer story!
Thank you, for sharing.
Sarah Lynn
There's more
The bit above sat on my hard drive for months. Sometimes I added a bit more to it, sometimes I took some away. But yes, the story continues. Thanks for commenting,
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Lulu
Like the image and story. Will be fun to see the outcome of the fiasco.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Thanks
I twiddled with the color balance of the picture and reuploaded.
I have a dozen or so short chapters already written, plus the end.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Nice start. This line "I
Nice start. This line "I know which one I am, but I'm still not always sure of which one I would prefer to be." makes me hope it will continue very well.
Warning
This isn't going to just be a happy little piece, but I hope to keep everyone interested and I don't think the ending will disappoint anyone too much.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Question?
My name was Martin Gordon Lewis and honest, no one had noticed the stupid name thing
What stupid name thing?
. . . .
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
That name isn't funny to you?
Leave out the middle name and think of old movies from the fifties.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Nope
I found the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis movies to be rather stupid. So there is no particular reason why I'd think the name funny. Besides, most kids these days have never even heard of them, except one is the old fart that runs the telethon that nobody below the age of thirty watches.
So no, the name isn't funny to me.
. . . .
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Like the character said...
No one noticed.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Welcome to BCTS
Welcome to you as a new Author GOOD LUCK HUGS & KISSES RICHIE2
Thanks
And before anyone else asks, that's not a pic of me. I thought I knew who it was but now I'm told it's Emma Watson from Harry Potter.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Years ago there actually was a man who went in
the hospital for a routine minor surgery. They got his charts mixed up with another patient's and he went through the sex change, instead of the proper patient. Needless to say that the docor who performed the srs was sued and so was the hospital...successfully.
I have been unlucky so far, that no one with my name, or even close to it has been in the same hospital that needed srs.
This chapter gives us a taste of what the story is about, but the adveture is worth reading about. Also WELCOME to BC/TS.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Girl
There's a book, out of print now, called Girl with what you describe as its plot. I've never read the book, it's impossible to find but hearing about it is what inspired this story. I don't know if it ever actually happened.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Some years ago
I heard a story on the news about a guy in Sweden (or maybe Switzerland) who has having an affair with a surgeon's wife, which the surgeon found out about. Not long after, the guy was admitted to the hospital the surgeon worked at for an appendectomy. To make a long story short, the guy woke after surgery to discover that not only had his appendix been removed, he was also halfway through a sex change! Of course the doctor was severely punished, but was reported to have said it was worth it, as the guy would not mess with anybody else's wife ever again! ;)
. . . .
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
THAT's an entirely different story
Could be a funny one, but maybe even darker than this one.
BTW, I did a month-long search for accidental sex changes and got a lot of nothing and links to jokes. If it has happened, other than the David Reimer case, it hasn't made any news channel I can find. It probably couldn't happen in a North American or European hospital, it's just too complex an operation.
But I'm not trying to write non-fiction, just a dark comedy about identity and gender.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Whoops!
I wanna read more! I'd bet she got a great settlement, and there is a great deal more to do than just the operation she had. How does it work for her? How does she deal with the change? Inquiring minds want to know! Mine too!
Wren
Patients need patience
I thought this beginning stood well enough on its own that I could find out if people were interested.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
Nice Short Chapter
I hope you're not teasing us with the 1 in your title. I'd like to see more of this.
Thanks and kudos.
- Terry
There is more
There will be a new chapter up tonight or tomorrow.
Lulu
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
- Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and anywhere else you can get it. - Lulu Martine
It Really Did Happen !
About 20-25 years ago, in a large hospital in the Midlands of England. Two patients, both called Peter Jones, were admitted for surgery. One was in for gender reassignment, the other for a repair to a knee. They were mixed up and one had a perfectly sound knee unnecessarily operated on.... The other, had a bit of a shock when she recovered from the anaesthetic and woke up.
There was of course an internal enquiry and a right schmozzle, with a lot of red faces all round. The hospital management settled out of court and it was all kept hush - it never made it into the press, as not only the hospital but the two P Jones's affected felt it not to be on their best interests to make a public fuss.
Being in the biz I got to hear about it, checked the story out, and am satisfied it is true, it did happen. I was made to promise not to disclose the names of the hospital or the surgical team, and I keep my promise in such matters. so I am not saying exactly where it happened.
Advice to people going to hospital for ANY operation - have a sticky tape attached to where the incision will be made, write with biro if one limb is going to be operated on, saying THIS ONE and NOT HERE on the one opposite, just make sure they get it right. When you are unconscious you can't tell anybody when they are making a mistake. Always remember Murphy's Law - "If something can go worng, it will!"
I often wonder how the new Ms Petunia Jones adapted to her life. It can't have been so bad for her, after all, who in their right minds would WANT to be a Mister Jones?
Briar
Briar