Father Just Doesn't Get It - Part IV
by Barbara Lynn Terry

Previously:

"Mom, is everything okay? You look like you were far away there for a while."
"I'm fine, honey. In fact, everything is fine. I was just thinking how beautiful you look, and what your father is actually missing out on. But we won't dwell on that. He made his bed, short sheets and all, so he has to sleep in it. You are so pretty though."
Mom was thinking deeply at that point, and we had arrived at the pharmacy. Mom handed my prescriptions to the pharmacist and she said it would be about twenty minutes, because she had a few to fill before mine. We said we would wait, and then we wandered around the store.
We ended up in the cosmetic aisle and mom wanted to get me more makeup. She said a girl never has enough makeup, and that there were different cosmetics for different looks and different outfits. She said first we found the outfit, then we found the the lingerie, then the shoes, a purse, and the right cosmetics. She said that is why women have more cosmetics than what it seems they need. She laughed a little, when she said that I would be following in those footsteps.
When the prescription was done, they called my name over the intercom. We picked up the hormones, and then went out to eat lunch. Mother was telling me that in her day, they had counters in the drug stores where you could sit and have a soda, or a banana split, or maybe a burger and fries. She said she was kind of sorry they still didn't have those. So we ended up at Big Boy's and I had a chicken salad and mom had just coffee. Mom took out three of the estradiol because they only came in two milligram maximum doses, and one prometrium. I took them with my water, and I was now officially on my way to being the girl I am.
Did I do all of this with daddy, so I could be Joanne? I don't know, but he did get me so mad when he kept calling me a sissy. I hope they dig a pit under the jail and bury him in it. I guess no matter how I look at it, father just doesn't get it, and maybe never will.
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Chapter I - Girls night in.

When we got home, I told mom I was going up to my room for a bit. She said okay, and headed to the kitchen. One of the girls at school had told me that women live in two rooms; the kitchen and the bathroom. The other girls agreed. It seemed borders were drawn. The man lived in the living room in front of the tv, and the woman lived in the kitchen. I know mom does. But since we are both girls now, the house is ours. There are no more borders, no more sissy, no more daddy. Just mom and me and peace and quiet. Of course, I will never understand why there are some men who still think this is their day. When are they going to learn that it is my day, and I am an individual? Mom understood that. I just sat on my bed thinking all of this, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what daddy's problem is. Yes he drinks too much, and is at the bar too much. But why does he have to get angry when he drinks? Do I love my father? No. He never had love in him, and he was always putting me down.

What is it with men anyway, that they have to be so hard headed about things. If something doesn't go their way, they get all mad and violent. Is there a reason for that?

Well, whatever it is, I won't be going that way anyway. I love being Joanne, and shopping with mom and helping her cook the meals, and doing other feminine things with her. She said that as long as my father wanted me to remain Joanne, I was a girl in this house. Ohmygosh! I gotta talk to mom.

I went downstairs and found her in the kitchen.

"Mom, when daddy said that I will remain Jo-whatever, and you said when we went in the kitchen that I was now a girl in this house. Did you mean then, that as a long as I didn't get my hair cut, or did you mean it for something else?"

"Honey, what brought this on?"

"Mom, I was in my room thinking. Daddy never did care much for me. Was it really because of my long hair, or was it something else?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I would."

"He knew because of the way you did things that if he distanced himself from you, that you would either come to me like you did, or you would end up in a therapist's chair. He didn't want you turning out like him. I support this family on my cocktail waitress job, and I make good money at it. The tips are worth it. Your father was a lazy bum doing what odd jobs he could for his drinking money. I pay all the bills in the house, I buy all the food, and clothes, and maybe once in a while, even something for myself. But darling, what he did, I admit, was wrong. But if you look at it from another point of view, you are delicate boned, and have delicate features.

"I have watched you around the house, and you instinctively do things the way girls would. It is like I told you, sweetie, that it is no secret that I have always wanted a daughter. Well, when your father decided to start calling you a sissy, I couldn't understand why you took it for so long before you stood up to him. See, his father was a lazy no good for nothing drunk too, and they say like father like son. But when you stood up to him, you weren't Jimmy any more, you were Joanne. Now what your father did when he called you a sissy was wrong. I think if he would have compromised a little bit, you would have met him half way and still kept your hair long, but not as long.

"Anyway, that is over now, and the only thing you will have to do, is testify at his trial. Does that answer your question, dear?"

"Yes mom, it does. But why couldn't he have just let things be? I mean he didn't have to get abusive like he did. And that night we called the police, I was very scared. I still am."

She wrapped her arms around me, and cradled her head on top of mine, and then she said everything will be fine.

"Your father is in jail now, and when we are finished testifying, and the police testify, I'm sure the jury will put him where he belongs."

"Thanks, mom." I gave her a big hug, and then got a glass and poured myself some orange juice. I laughed a little at a thought I just had, and mom wanted to know what was so funny. "I was just thinking that when school starts again, what my friends are going to say when they Joanne instead of that boy named Jimmy."

"Well, when school does start back up, you let me know how the first day went."

We still had a few weeks to go yet, and I was making the most of being the girl I now wanted to live the rest of my life as. I mean, as far as boys went, I sure didn't make the grade. I am five foot, one inch, and maybe I will grow another inch or two. Maybe. When mom bought clothes for me, she had to buy from the boys section, and even then some of those clothese didn't fit me. I was small boned, and my voice was still high at fourteen. I will be getting hormone injections every three months to jump start female puberty, and maybe that will keep whatever boy hormones I have low enough that it won't affect me.

Just then, the phone rang, and mom answered it. "I see, no that's wonderful, then that way she won't have to worry. Alright, we will be there. Yes, we will see you then."

"Honey, that was Mr. Brown, the attorney. He said he got us in children's court for your name change, next Monday. That will give us time to get your records straight with your new legal name."

I gave her a hug, and I just sat there holding on to her. "Thanks, mom."

"For what, honey?"

"For letting me be your daughter, even if daddy isn't here."

"Well, I have an idea. Why don't we have a girls night in tonight. I can do your hair, and nails, and we can order a pizza, and watch chick flicks till we drop. So what do you say? Sound like fun?"

"That sound like fun, mom." I smiled, because mom was serious about wanting a daughter, and I was just as serious to be that daughter for her. She always stood up for me in front of daddy, and we had had a lot of good talks too. I have never been to a girls night in, but if it is as much fun as mom said it would be, I was going to enjoy myself. So for right now, I guess I will just go and see what needs to be done. "Mom, is there anything I can do?"

"Well, it is too early to start dinner, since there is just the two of us. We don't have to worry about feeding a man who acts like he's starving to death. So what do you think we should do?"

"Well, instead of making dinner, we could order a pizza and garlic bread and have a girls night in. It sounds like a lot of fun, and this way too, I can actually really bond with my mother. Yes, a girls night in mother."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. That way I don't have to cook or wash dishes. But until then, what should we do?"

"Let's put in a movie, and we can start our girls night in now. Sort like an extended girls night in."

"You know, that does sound like a good idea." She hugged me and rubbed her nose against mine, and she told me to wait a few minutes, and she would be right back.

When she came back, she was dressed in her lilac pengoir set, with matching robe. She had on her lilac two inch slippers, and she had taken her day makeup off.

"Honey, I think we will do each other's nails, and hair. I think tonight will be a good time to show you how to wax your legs, and put on lotion right after to take care of the burn. This way your skin doesn't get all red like it is sunburned."

"You know, before daddy started calling me a sissy, I always wondered why girls legs were so smooth. Now I know, because I don't think shaving them would leave them that smooth."

"No darling, it wouldn't. Waxing and lostion gives our legs that shine look, and makes them better to look at. You will find if you wax your legs, the boys will notice you a lot better. When you said you had thoughts about being a girl and dreams, did you ever dream about having a boyfriend?"

"Yes. But I couldn't make up my mind, so my dream boyfriend was like an outline. It was like it was waiting for me to fill it in, as to what I wanted my dream boyfriend to look like. Since I have become Joanne full time now, those dreams are getting more real like. I mean that the outline is starting to fill in. All of my girl friends in my dreams are telling me I was lucky because I got the campus stud. Whoever that is. I am still trying to figure out what all this means."

"Let me tell you a little story about a young girl who was nine years old. One day she was playing with her friends, and they were all climbing trees playing Tarzan and Jane. One of the boys was even playing Tarzan's chimpanzee, Cheetah. Well, the game was going just fine, until the little girl fell out of the tree. She only got a few scratches and bumps, and sound lecture from her mother and father.

"They told her she was a young lady, and that it was improper for a young lady to be playing with boys who like to swing like monkeys from the tree branches. They told her that is they had to, they would chaperone her whereeverr she went just to make sure she wasn't playing dangerous games with the boys. Boys don't care if they get hurt, but you can get really scarred up just from playing on the tree branches without even falling.

"So the little girl told all the boys that she could play with them, but that her mom and daddy didn't want her climbing trees because she could get real bad scars just playing on the branches. So the boys said that was fine, because Jane didn't really like swinging from tree to tree. She left that mostly to Tarzan and Cheetah. There was one day that one of the boys fell from one of the branches and got cut. The little girl ran in her house and told her daddy that one of the boys got hurt. Her daddy went outside and looked at the boy's cuts, and said he would be all right, and he took him in the house and bandaged his cuts. After the boys went home, the little girl's daddy sat down and let out a big sigh. 'See,' he said, 'that is what could happen to you, and it would be a long time before those cuts healed, but when they did heal, they would leave a scar, like that young man will have.' Do you know who that little girl was?"

"No."

"That little girl was me. So when I started noticing boys more, I didn't play with the boys any more except maybe a little kiss. You never liked to climb trees, or play rough. You always watched me when I was cooking, or putting my makeup on, or gettting my hair set. You never liked watching sports with your father, and you never liked the baseball glove he got you when you were five years old. You may have angered your father with becoming Joanne, but you made me the happiest mother in the world, because you had enough courage to show him who you really are."

"Mom, when it comes time to have surgery, will you be there with me?"

"Yes, of course I will be there for my daughter's big day. Now, let's talk about something a little more upbeat, shall we?"

"What can we do now? Oh! I know! You can show me how to set hair. I mean I know I have watched you, and I have learned how to do a pony tail and a bun, but I was thinking of something more, like with rollers and clips."

"That's a great idea. Wait right here while get my set supplies." She came back a few minutes later carrying a heated roller set, and assorted clips. She had solutions in the kaboodle she kept everything in so she could take them with her, if she had to go out of town. "Now let me see. What style should we start with first? Now honey, these styles are simple too, and they don't involve any cutting. Just setting. So pick a style, and we will start with that."

I picked of all things, a page boy cut. Mom looked at me and said we should just do simple sets, because a page boy involves cutting and trimming. So I looked at the styles in Woman's Day magazine and picked one that we could do with the just the rollers and clips.

This was a nice style and it framed the face very well. The sides hung at shoulder length, and the back was set perpendicular to the sides and braided. Mom had me make sure that the bangs were just above the eyebrows, which could be done without cutting. After mom placed a small butterfly clip on the sides and in front of each ear, I was permitted to look in the mirror.

I saw a young woman in the mirror, and wondered where the fourteen year old girl was. I looked at mom and smiled. I wasn't fourteen in this mirror but a lot older looking and not too unpleasant to look at either. I decided that with my new "do" I needed to change my outfit, and I rummaged around in my closet like forever, and came up with the teal skirt and rose top. After changing, I stood in front of the mirror again, and mom just had to snap a picture. Joanne was there, but this was an older Joanne. I smiled again, as mom said it was my turn to do her hair.

I took the rollers and heated them up, and then looked at the Woman's Day magazine again, I took the large rollers and wound her hair up. She told me to put on a little setting solution, because that would hold the curl better. After I had rolled and curled her hair, we sat back and watched a movie. Miss Congeniality one and two were on, so we settled in for a nice few hours of our favorite chick flicks. It was a good thing that daddy wasn't here, because everytime I would watch these movies, he always had something to say, and none of it was any good.

The doorbell rung, and I went to answer it with the pizza money. Mom had ordered a veggie pizza, because we were watching our figures. After the first Miss Congeniality was over, mom got up and said she would be right back. When she came back, she had a jar of something that looked like hair wax, and cloth strips.

"Honey, how about I show you how to wax your legs, pubic area, and your underarms. I will do your legs, then you can do mine, and when we are hairless as a Mexican chihuaua, then we can paint our nails." I giggled, because mom was being funny. It is so good to be able to laugh and have fun without the presence of an ogre around.

Mom started at the ankles, and worked up toward my pubic area. After she had gotten both legs and the pubic area done, she showed me how to wax my underarms. She said waxing was by far the best, because it took longer for the hair to grow back, than if I shaved my underarms everyday. Besides, she said, that shaving leaves unsightly razor burn, and that is not ladylike at all. She divided the underarms into two sides; the top and bottom. She showed me how to stretch the arm outward, so the underarm skin was taut, and then she put on a little wax, and with one motion, the hair there was gone. She did the same with the top part, and then she was done.

"Now dear, are you going to be embarrassed waxing me?"

"No, mother."

So, with that I started waxing, and after about a whole hour, we were both hairless, and then she got out the nail polish. She had a burgundy wine color for her, and for me a light powder pink. I did her nails first. I started by filing them, and shaping them, and then I put a base coat on. Then I put two coats of polish on, and let that dry. The top coat came next, and then I was done. Mother did my nails the same way, and if anybody would have seen us would surely have said we were mother and daughter. All the time we were watching Miss Congeniality two. *Sigh* I wonder what I would do if I were armed and fabulous? Oh well, I love both movies, and the next set of movies were old time Shirley Temple ones where she was a little girl. By the time we had finished one slice of pizza, and watched countless movies, I fell asleep with my head in mother's lap.

I don't know if I walked to my bed, or if I was helped, but when I woke up, I was in bed. I felt something on my head, and knew it was a scarf mom had put there to keep my hair set while I slept. I got out of bed, and went to draw my bubble bath. I was going to be a lavender girl today, complete with lavender perfume. After my bath, and getting dressed in my lilac sundress, I slipped on my strappy sandals, and went downstairs. All I did with my hair was finger brushed it and it fell right back into place.

I went to the fridge and got out an apple juice, and then took two slices of bread and toasted them. Then after putting jelly (fruit flavored jam) on the toast, I sat down.

"How did you sleep, dear?" Mom inquired in the same tone she had used last night.

"I slept really good, mom." She smiled, and said we were going to Denny's for breakfast. "Toast is good for a quick bite, but I am famished, so let's get somethig really special."

We left the house, and after making sure I was buckled in, she started the car, and we went to Denny's. We never got to out much when daddy was here, but now that he is gone, maybe we can go out more often. As we went in, the hostess took us to our preferred seats, and gave us our water and menus. Mom ordered coffee for her and a large milk for me. When the blonde waitress came by again, mom ordered a pancake and egg breakfast for her, and for me a nice two egg with sausage breakfast that when we were done, left us full. We had talked about going shopping later on in the day, and what mom wanted to do was make a day out of being with her daughter. I smiled, because I knew exactly what she was doing. Alright now, I am Joanne and I will be Joanne for the rest of my life, and I enjoy being a girl.
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This is a short chapter telling about mother and daughter bonding in a girls night in. I promise the next chapter will be longer.