(This is for those who want happy(er) endings)

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Very late, very rushed, and very stressed. Maybe hyper. Instead of stressed.

Paul commented on all three (or four) when Richard made it to the office twenty minutes after Rachel, who'd also been late.

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"Okay!" Richard laughed and invited him to close the door and sit on the couch after the fourth or fifth pointed hint. He prepared coffees, noting to himself that he really ~did~ drink too much of it....

"Is there a good decaf out there?"

He realized that that was a huge non-sequitur as he sat down and sipped. Paul's "H- what?" helped with the realization.

"Never mind.... Okay, why I am late. I slept at Rachel's house after a very late talk. I had to go home to change."

He smiled as Paul's head tried to explode with curiosity.

"We were talking about Barry and me." He smiled stupidly, he was sure. "Not really about Barry, more about me." He put down his mug and reached over to Paul's hand.

"May I?"

Paul nodded. Richard held it lightly. He decided to wonder later why he needed to hold someone's hand just then. Or maybe not.

"Thank you. I'm a little insecure right now...."

Paul sat a little closer then and covered his hand the way Barry did. And Rachel. And Stuart. And he waited the same way. Richard relaxed a little. He smiled a little less fixedly as well.

"You're a nice man, Paul." He looked him in the eyes, as if to see what questions might be there. Paul just looked concerned. He thought about how different some men were.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"I might not answer," Paul smiled. Richard did too.

"It's not like that." He turned so he could see all of him. "Have you ever been in love?"

Paul's grin took on a sad cast. "Once, in school."

Richard thought he might have asked more than he had a right to, but Paul went on.

"He was handsome and smart and funny...." He smiled again and looked at the coffee table.

"I never told him, never even told him I was gay. I was too scared, and he probably was straight." He looked back at Richard.

"I've had boyfriends and lovers since, but I think he was my one love."

"So far."

Paul looked up.

"So far." Richard twisted his hand. "You're a wonderful man. Someone will make you fall in love with them again. I'm sure of it." He looked at the flowers for a moment, then back.

"High school just wasn't a good place for some of us. Here is better. Now." He smiled at his friend. "I'd date you myself, in a second, if you weren't the wrong... persuasion."

"Persuasion?"

"You're very nice, and handsome, and intelligent and funny..." Richard grinned past his blush. "But you're not my cup of coffee."

"Cup of coffee?" Paul grinned at that one. Richard had to duck.

"Okay... so...." He smiled at his friend. "You're gay... and... not Barry. Okay?"

Paul laughed and pulled him into a quick hug.

"FINALLY!"

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"I don't want to talk about it."

Richard tried to look forbidding, or dangerous, and Barry tracing little patterns on his hand and wrist with his fingertips was just... unfair.

"But you said that what he said was the whole point, and then you won't tell me?"

Richard had to look at Barry in wonder. For a brilliant man, he... had....

"What?"

Barry looked like ~he~ hadn't made any sense, then pulled his hand closer, knocking over the salt.

"You said that your shrink said the most important thing about the test results, or something?" He made eyebrows. "And ~then~ you said, 'I don't want to talk about it.'"

He waggled them. Hie eyebrows. "And ~I~ said...."

Richard interrupted him with a snort.

"Well, why don't you?"

"Why don't I what?" Richard knew, but didn't even want to say why not, knowing it would lead him on. But he had to have a reason.

"What... did he say?" Barry smiled at him that way, and Richard couldn't lie. Or remember why he hadn't wanted to tell....

Well. he could, but not ~why~ why.

He was as bad as Barry. He had to stare at the table, not even at Barry's hand... he righted the salt, placed it in line with the pepper and sugar....

"He said the tests said I was too rigid." He was very quiet.

"And?"

When Richard peeked up, Barry was serious. Not mean, or agreeing. "He said more...?"

Richard had to look down. But he had to tell his... Barry.

"He said they showed I was... female."

There was a long silence and Barry's fingers changed their patterns on his hand, just a little, then he stopped and held his fingertips. Richard almost whispered.

"He said I tested female, and was, or would be if I came for that, diagnosed as transsexual... but I didn't... and he said I had to be less... rigid...." He concentrated on Barry's touch, his hold on his fingers. Barry stayed silent. He finally looked up to see his concern.

"He said I tested as very feminine and... I had to try... to..."

"It's okay. It's okay."

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"A present?"

Paul held the box, book-sized, or chocolates-sized, like it was precious, but grinned like it was a joke.

"Yes, boss, a present came with the flowers, apparently." He proffered it.

Richard looked at the gold-wrapped box, with matching silver-blue ribbon and bow, and then back at Paul. It weighed nothing at all

"The roses? It came with Barry's roses?"

Paul laughed and handed it to Richard. "I guess! Open it!"

Richard sat back down and held the box. It was light, almost like it was empty.

Paul hummed. A noise in the door made them both look and Barry was there, but not in his usual lean... stiff and worried. Not like bad news, but.... He looked at the box.

"I didn't know, but I hope you like it."

Richard didn't know what to do. Barry, unsure, or so serious, and a present.... He loved giving him flowers, maybe because he knew about them, that he'd like them.... Richard smiled.

"Come and sit down by me so I can open it with you." He smiled to make his reaction to whatever it was a foregone conclusion. Barry's eyes showed a little less worry.

"Paul, could you please give us some privacy?" He smiled the request and Paul grinned back.

"Of course, but I wanna know what it is, after, okay? If it's okay?" He waved something on his way out, and smiled in as he pulled the door closed.

When he had snuggled a little closer and after Barry had made a few "c'mon!" noises, Richard carefully pulled the ribbon loose.

Barry stilled as he lifted the lid.

It was blue, and cloth, and shiny. Richard stared, just a second, and then, with shaky hands, lifted the thin straps and the... camisole.

And stared at it. Barry was still. After a long few seconds, he shifted slightly.

"Do you like it? I thought... well, you said your doc said you were, well, you were making...." He stopped.

Richard had come unstuck, or unfrozen, at the first movement from Barry. He lowered the camisole and then lifted it again and draped it over his lap, and turned enough to put an arm around Barry's waist. And to get close enough to lean over and peck at his cheek with a little kiss.

"And you thought you would get me something I could wear, to help... something I could wear at work so nobody would know?" He leaned his face in again and kissed Barry more forcefully, slightly more forcefully, and whispered.

"Thank you."

Barry turned red, but smiled. He looked at Richard from an inch.

"Yeah. I know it's hard for you, and how much you're trying, so I thought this...."

He ran his hand up and down Richard's arm and the soft texture of his sweater. A really nice side-benefit of not wearing a suit, Richard thought: feeling his hands all day.

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"Happy birthday, dear!"

"Mm...?"

"Your coffee is beside the phone and don't spill it and happy birthday!"

"M- it's not my... not 'til tomorrow..." Rikki tried to focus.

Barry was kneeling over her, grinning like a fool, cradling a wrapped and beribboned box like a baby, tickling her with the other hand.

"I'm rich! I bought up the rights to today, too! Happy birthday and drink your coffee quick so you can see your present!" He looked like a six-year old on Christmas. Rikki had to smile more, just at that thought.

She looked over at her dresser.

The bouquet was pink, with one red rose for each year.

The end.