So, anyway, one day I was looking through a pile of free books and I happened upon "Sexual Conversion Therapy", so out of curiosity, I picked it up. I was once a very devout Christian and of course subjected myself to years of praying, anointments, and condemnations, thinking that my problems were of the devil. Finally, coming to my senses, I gave up on that and was forced to accept myself.
I know that lots of us would consider "Sexual Conversion Therapy" to be pure bullshit, and I think I have heard that most of the professional world thinks it is too. I just have not heard the opinion of some of the much more accomplished scholars than I here, and would like to read comments. I find myself unable to read the book. It is about Gays, and I do not consider myself Gay or broken. And barring a huge miracle, I doubt if I will ever know my sexual orientation, because I haven't done anything sexual. :( Not that I would not like to.
http://www.drdoughaldeman.com/doc/Practice&Ethics.pdf One professional thinks the whole thing to be unethical.
I'd like your opinons.
Much Peace
Khadijah Gwen
Comments
A cure for deviation
I found out that I was TS at the age of 14 when I read an newspaper article. Sadly, I also read that surgery would cost about £1000. As this was about 10,000 times my disposable income at the time, I concluded that I'd never be able to afford it, and looked for a 'cure'.
I was told by a psychiatrist that electric treatment and marriage would cure me. It obviously didn't; it merely blighted two lives instead of one.
I also heard a presentation by Martin Hallett, who claimed to have been cured of homosexuality. Strange that most experts accept that GLB or T is not contagious. I conclude that Martin was in denial. TFT now seem to advocate celibacy for homosexual people; I wonder if the same 'cure' is supposed to work for Trans-people.
More about Martin and his beliefs at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_Freedom_Trust
Susie
Forced Celibacy, by default.
I'm celibate but not because I want it that way. I'd like to have some big strong, bearded, hairy chested dominant, with an um "thingie" small enough for me to squash me in my bed and make me squeal in delight. Does't seem to be happening, not even in my dreams.
Khaduuj
I had sexual conversion therapy
which didnt work. all it did was make me feel guiltier for having not gotten rid of the feelings.
My thoughts.
My shrinks, counsellors, priests, mother's lesbian friends convinced me I was a deviant. I discovered SRS by reading a book of short stories. One was about a "sex change" (not a person or a man or even a women just a "SEXCHANGE") who was raped in a coat closet...
should be enough to scare off anyone right!? Hehe. I'm made of sterner stuff. Even at just turned 14 all of the thoughts of what is 'wrong' with me gelled into a single thought! "Hey there is surgery for that!!! COOL! COOL! COOOOooooOOOL!" I danced for joy and rushed to show my mom. Can you spell M-I-S-T-A-K-E! Knew you could. This was when I discovered I was a fetishistic transvestite with schizoid tendencies.
I was sent to reform school with 16 delinquent offenders (some violent) to give me confidence in my masculinity. Can you spell F-A-I-L. I found some waitress uniforms and that got me through that.
One thing it did do though was teach me than when scared enough... I could fight back... the constant working out with weights gave me the ability to fight back in a respected male manner...I bear hugged the smallest guy in the 'school' until he coughed up blood and the counsellors realised it was the end of trying to reason with me and rushed me. Well seeing them coming I dropped the poor kid and ran like hell.
After they were done with me I'd pretty well been indoctrinated into the idea that I was possessed by a demon and only pray, dilligence, pure thoughts and abstinence were my ownly answer.
For 2 years I floated from one demon pounding religion to the next praying to be forgiven, helped, granted my most sincere wish believing the voice in my head telling me "You're a girl" was actually 1 or more demons sent to test my faith...until my mother found Mormonism. I was in that organisation until my mother turned to her bishop confessing our dirty little secret and begging them for help. There was much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, anointing of oils and priesthood blessings, weekly sessions where I would have to confess my sins (not in a catholic sense) and take my punishment... then I began to question my faith.
For years I was apostate (absent from church) until I finally read a book called interestingly enough..."Journal of Deviant Sexual Psychology". In there I discovered that my 'deviant behaviour' was _NOT_ religious in afliction nor in cure.
I learned that as a mental illness diagnosis was like a bell curve. Some people fit it and others do not. You were wondering when I'd get to your question right? I believe that those on the fringes of the bell... could very well be 'cured' because they have likely been misdiagnosed in the first place.
Now I sit here hoping that TSism (tgism I don't like that term) isn't really just mental illness but is really genetic. I don't feel crazy and once I removed my TSims from my list of stressors...I found I wasn't so damned overwhelmed by everything else I was carrying around. I am able to function because the 'spring' that in spirit represents the total load you can carry around and still function was significantly decompressed.
Gawd would you listen to me ramble. Now the part that people will consider insulting, demeaning, and otherwise jump down my throat about... [please just consider this one woman's opinion and walk away from it if this hurts]
I believe that the believe in a higher power being interested in how I live my life or how humanity acts as a whole or even only interested in how I treat others is a crutch. They are having troubles dealing with the concept that they are responsible for their actions, intentions and the world and want someone ANYONE to come along and impose a set of easy (some not so easy) but easily definable actions that once obeyed everything will turn out in the ultimate end.
This is the real thing that needs to be cured.
Again... just my opinion.
Nobody.
Nobody, I think you are right on.
I spent some time in Juvi, but other than being beaten most nights of the week, my home life was at least predictable. When I was about 27, I was looking for something better and took the hook on religion. It led to Baptists, a whole bunch of community churches, Mormanisim, and finally to 4 square, where they threw me out when I confessed my little problem. After I had surgery it led to Islam, and recently I realized that a good part of why I choose conservative religious expression is to have limits around me so I know how to be good.
If you look at my "Natural Slave", and "Suddenly" you can easily see that need to be controlled.
Well, I have never found any takers for the job and have had to learn to do that myself, and accept myself as I am.
Much peace
Khadijah Gwen