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I think the story is posted on Fictionmania (I've been looking for it unsuccessfully over there anyway). The synopsis as I recall it:
Man and wife are deeply in love, but the man has a secret. Wants to be a woman. Sets up meetings with 2 men in another city to experience sex as a woman. Does so, but is overwhelmed. Crashes car returning home (attempted suicide). Tells wife what he has done. Wife leaves him, but forgives him after about a year and moves back with him. The husband transitions eventually having surgery. Wife supports and participates in sexual experiences (three ways) of the new woman. The story is told in episodes over a number of years and involves a therapist (I think in just the later parts of the story). It's written to feel that it's real world. I believe the title includes the wife's name, the before and after surgery female names of the husband (not sure though).
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as much as I read
I must have passed on this one.
It Was Actually Very Good
My synopsis doesn't do the story justice. Hopefully someone will recognize it.
Not sure but ...
... JillMI (Angela Rasch) wrote a story in which the main protagonist attempts suicide. IIRC it got a bit of stick at the time for its darker aspects. It's one of her early posted stories, if not the first. The annoying thing is, I can't remember the title and I don't seem to have it on file. That's unusual in itself because I admire her writing a great deal and tend to save them for my collection.
She may be along later to confirm or otherwise but you could try here. I don't think any of her stories are still posted at FM after the 'paedophile row' a few months ago.
I've had a think and it may be 'It Brings on Many Changes' but I would need to reread it to be sure. My memory isn't what it was. Of course it still may not be the one you're seeking.
Robi