Laughing At My Predicament Not Allowed!

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So, this week end, I got a call from my Brother and he needed my help. Well, actually he did not need my help, he wanted me to change the window motors and the Alternator on his Ford Pick Up. He was not intending to help. He gets to angry and frustrated with these things. Well, I wanted to say I couldn't do it because I'm a girl, but to be fair, he has the mechanical aptitude of a Frog. :( So, yesterday I did the window motors, and while listening to Lady Gaga, danced my way right through them; though with my Estrogen enhanced skin, I punctured my self numerous times; anointing both doors in lots of blood, GAH ! As I was finishing up, I remembered two body guys joking about the new rattle that a customer's car got after changing the motors and it turned out that the mechanic had left the stick to prop the window up, inside the door. NOTE: Stick removed, before closing up door.

Well, today, my loose pants were still dirty, so I wore some jeans that I found to be very tight. I did look in the mirror and was quite astonished to see that they gave me a "Wet Dream" Butt! Well moving right along, I got the old Alternator out, but when I was putting the new one in, I dropped the bottom bolt and I heard it hit the frame and never could find it. Then I remembered the story I once heard about the vehicle one is working on occaisonally eating a bolt or tool. One Bolt eaten. They had one at the auto parts store. :) It seems that many Ford pickups like to dine on their Alternator Bolts.

So, on the way home, the tight jeans are beginning to try my patience, and as I squirmed in the seat, sudden arousal swept through my previously non responsive body like a greatly magnified hot flash; pant, pant! I briefly wondered if I was going to climax on the freeway, but by sitting very still managed to cool the fires! Oh, now I remember why I never wear pants!

I need a fucking HUSBAND!

Khadijah Gwen

Comments

Not just any husband

You want the fucking-enabled model? I'm more familiar with the fuckig useless version.

Can't help with finding you

Can't help with finding you a husband... but a good way to find dropped bolts is possible. Get a magnet on a flexible wand and keep it handy for when you are working in tight places. Because no matter who you are and where you're working, one dam nut or bolt always makes a bid for freedom!

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Engineer's Offering

Every engineer born knows that to get whatever machine they're working on to work right, they have to make a blood offering.

It so happens the offering is often made involuntarily during the rebuild process :)

I've lost count of the washing machines, vacuums, irons, cars, vans, sewing machines and computers that have a smear of my blood inside them somewhere.

Oh, your vehicles that eat parts, we have had cars that did that. Only sometimes it works the other way, too, I have brought cars back from a dealer service, opened the lid to find all sorts of things in the engine compartment: plastic protection sheets, gloves, a tyre lever, a wire stripper, any number of spanners and socket heads. It just goes to show, sometimes there is balance in the force.

Penny