By the time I was writing "The saga of E-girl", I was desperate to figure out exactly who and what I was. I realized I had to face fully the demons inside me. That would have been all but impossible, except I was getting support from others. I finaly plucked up my courage and published it here, and was overwhelmed by the positive responce. Thanks to that support I have made a commitment to getting whole. I have finally admited to myself what I want - I want to be female. I am in counsiling through my local hospital, and am seeing a rape counsilor as well. I came out to my mom, and have her support. I have a long way to go, but at least I am making progress.