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Author Notes: My most recent story, The Pudding Club, took three years to complete the first draft. In comparison, this took three days, so you'll appreciate why the plot is nothing like as complex. In fact, there was absolutely no pre-planning with this story - events simply unfolded as I wrote the story. I certainly didn't expect PC Bull to be having it away with Rupert's mother! That was a complete surprise. Nor did I realise until the end that his mother used a cucumber for her own pleasure.

You may be wondering how old the three witches are; the answer is simple - they are slightly older than your mother!

If you find some of the events in this story more shocking than normal then relax, this is simply your ageist prejudices showing!