Having lived much of my life in the role of a Man, changing to the role of a woman has come as a great surprise to me and it has taken place over a several years. Service in the Military was interesting, but I never seemed to share the same interests as my "Band of Brothers", and by some miracle managed to serve out my term with no serious injuries, or battle trauma.
I just lived a mild, quiet life doing such duties as I was asked during the day time, and reading, or going for long walks when on my own. I did see myself as male, but many of the other males, to me, were simply uncouth, though I would pop out for a beer with them at times.
I thought I had a family though, I was never close to them, and in time it was in name only, they having completely forgotten me. A chance medical test revealed why life was so out of step with others and their proper lives, and becoming myself has been a great adventure, albeit painful at times.
It's been several years now and becoming a proper lady, after being dreadfully unladylike, has been a huge challenge. There will never be children, unless I meet a bloke who wishes to adopt with me. For completely inexplicable reasons, the female population has immediately accepted me without reservation, in spite of my being nearly breast-less. My bits aren't worth messing about with.
I am wondering if any here can point out books that helped them to begin to understand the vagaries of a woman's life. My past life gave me no preparation what so ever.
Comments
Look
I know other girls grew up with this stuff but a lot of them just shrug it off once they come of age. I'd say only about 1-5% of women act what most people consider "proper" and honestly being a "proper" woman is mostly poison of the patriarchy. Being a woman has nothing to do with how you act, or dress, it's everything to do with how you feel in your heart and soul and head. All the places that matter, if you want to be a woman who likes getting pampered, manicures, wearing super girly clothes, and motorcycles. Then go for it.
Finding out what kind of woman you want to be, is kinda hard but I bet if you keep at it and explore your possibilities you'll find there is so much there to find.
Good luck on your journey :D
*edit*
However you can look up how to walk in high heels if that's something you wish to try (personally I hate them, mary jane flats forever <3) or how to sit in a dress (it's pretty easy, just sweep it under you so it doesn't ride up and give everyone a free show) and to sit with your knees closed together and either crossed on the ankle or other ways that you find comfortable. (ankle works for me :D) Also don't be afraid to wear women's jeans, you might find you like them. They aren't like guys jeans most of the time and have cute little embroideries on them sometimes or are really tight and feel nice on shaven legs :D
*double edit*
Sadly I've not found any books on this, I learned it all from asking my fellow girls and from experimenting and figuring it out on my own. THe best way to learn how to walk in heels though is to wear them and walk in a circle with a flat book on your head. If you can balance the book, you're doing it right, if the book falls, you messed up.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
My particular challenge...
...is fashion. Even after fifteen years of full-time living in my chosen gender, trying to keep track of the ins and outs of fashion makes my head spin. I was never clear on the different types of dresses, tops, slacks, and so on, and how to coordinate same. Nor am I up on what's current.
Just how clueless I am came home to me recently when one of my caregivers--with a fashion savvy bordering on genius--remarked that she had to "get me out of the '80s". Meaning that most of the dresses I'd picked up at the various thrift shops were woefully out of date. She didn't intend to be mean, only helpful, but it still stung.
I didn't have the luxury of experimenting and making mistakes when I was younger--I'm expected to be accomplished at this sort of thing at my age, and I fear that just isn't going to happen.
I know in theory I can be a so-called "proper" woman and not know this stuff, but the majority of the women around me do, and my goal is to fit in. Trouble is, I don't even know where to begin learning.
Livin' A Ragtime Life,
Rachel
Women love to give each other advice.
It is part of being a woman. We communicate 5 times more than men and while sometimes it can be nerve wracking, most of the time it is simply offering opinions. I the woman's world, very little dominance testing is done.
A
Growing young gracefully.
Ding, ding, ding!!!
Princess nailed it on the Patriarchy nonsense.
Read "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir and she lays out how proper ladylike behavior is even a trap to some extent. She mentions the whole getting offended by curse words thing to be nonsense as well.
Also Auriel I'm a guy and don't like such fronting jerks personally. While I like to drink, hanging around and just making raunchy jokes and other comments doesn't sound terribly fun to me.
I'm not
Trying to undermine your journey, I'm just trying to tell you, if you like something but it's not "proper" for a girl to like it. Like it anyway, you'd be surprised how many other girls will like it too. So what if the majority don't? Better to be a special snowflake than a clone ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Proper women
Proper women are women who know who and what they are. Everything else is window dressing.
Get yourself comfortably
dressed and do what the other women do. As to what proper women are - not sure - those who wear clean knickers every day?
Just go and be you, and if you can, enjoy yourself we don't come this way twice.
Angharad