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Two cowboys ride into town after weeks out on the range. One cowboy says to the other, "Slim, first thing I'm gonna do is get myself a drink."
The second cowboy says, "That sounds good, Tex, but the first thing I'm gonna do is go to Miss Carlyle's and get myself some loving."
"That do sound better," agrees Tex. So they rode over toward Miss Carlyle's. Before going into the swanky cathouse they decide that they out to clean up a bit and they stop at a horse trough, wash their faces and their boots and put on clean kerchiefs. Then they stood there for a moment staring at the entrance to the bordello feeling suddenly shy.
"You know," said Slim. "Maybe getting a drink first is the best idea."
"Yup," said Tex so they walked over toward the town saloon.
In through the swinging doors they went and both of them stopped and stared because behind the bar, polishing things up with a damp rag stuck to his wing stood a large duck. "Wait'll it be, gents?" asked the duck.
"B-b-but..." said Tex. Then he took off his hat and hit himself in the face with it several times.
"You're a duck!" said Slim, pointing, as if there might be some doubt as to which duck or which bartender he meant.
The duck sighed. "I get this a lot. Do you want something to drink, fellas?"
"Uh, uh, uh," said Tex, coming over with a coughing fit.
"I'm sorry for us being so dumfuzzled but we've neither of us ever seen a duck tending bar before," said Slim, pounding on his partner's back to help him start breathing again.
The duck snorted. "I've never seen two cowboys without shit on their boots before either but I'm not going to get all choked up about it."
Comments
Nice!
There is anecdote about story by one famous Russian writer where mute guy (somewhere in the middle of XIX century) was forced to drown his pet dog.
So someone rescues that half drowned dog and dog says: "thank you very much for saving me!" And a guy says: "AAA!!! A talking dog!!!" And dog says: "AAA!!! A talking man!!!"
:-)
Something surprising
Is this Daffy, Donald, or the Aflac duck?
May Your Light Forever Shine
Of course
Two old-fashioned nuns walked into the wrong church by mistake.
"I've never seen the inside of a Protestant church before," said Sister Mary Theodora. "It's different but kind of the same, too."
"Is that a duck behind the podium?" asked Sister Mary Thomasina.
"They have pews and hymnals and stained glass windows, just like our home church," said Sister Mary the first.
"I don't think I've ever seen a duck giving a sermon before," said Sister Mary the other.
Just then the duck noticed them at the back and asked his congregation to turn around and greet the visitors. The worshippers seemed very friendly and the nuns were persuaded to sit down and enjoy the rest of the service. Afterwards, they joined the line of people leaving the church to greet the pastor and shake his wing.
"I've never seen a duck in church before," confessed Sister Marty Theodora. "It seems a bit unusual."
"Well," said the duck, "that's because you're Catholic. Most ducks are Baptists, of course."
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Funny.
Lost stupid points on an internal audit, work sucks. I really needed the laughs, thanks folks.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
This worked better in the 60s,
but here goes anyway.
Two hippies are walking down the street together. Walking toward them is a Catholic Priest with his arm in a cast and sling.
One hippie says: "Oh wow, man. Like what happened?"
The Priest shakes his head ruefully and says: "I slipped and fell in the bathtub, and broke my arm."
The hippie responds: "Oh wow, man. like that's a bummer, man." and they walk away.
Once they're out of the Priest's earshot, the one hippie says to the other one," Like, what's a bathtub, man?"
The other hippie responds, "Like, how would I know man? I ain't a Catholic!"
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal, and tip your waitress.
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.