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I've kinda reached a place where I'm being forced to choose between moving forward and risking what I've already accomplished. See, the next steps are kinda tricky - I have to somehow navigate the ex, change my name, and then I'll be as close as I think I can come as surgery is not likely. But the risks are high too, I flop it with the ex and I worry I'll be tempted to just go back into the closet until I die. I think that's why I've been delaying putting my name change in high gear, much less confront the ex. But standing still isnt much of a option, at least not for long. Ah, well.
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Ask yourself one question
Will you be able to live with yourself if you don't go forward?
What you have to ask yourself
Is whether you have the strength to go for the dream?
Can you live with success? Can you handle failure?
Only you can answer the question: Will you risk all for the dream?
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
Really, what's it worth to you?
I gave up having children, avoided any relationship with a woman ( though I love them and still do as I am lesbian. ) Moved far away from my parents so I could basically break off contact with my parents for fear of hurting them. Had the surgery and the pain of all that. All in all basically transformed my entire life to be who I must be and sacrificed nearly all that I hold dear.
Sorry, a lot of us here have had to make a lot of hard choices too. It is not pleasant being trans as you well know but it is up to you as to how much you want to sacrifice, to change yourself.
I am not saying that you have to make all the sacrifices that I had to make either but if you can't give up certain things then you will have to find the resolve to settle on holding on to what you have and hold dear and be content in that.
The other commentators before me are spot on too.
Kim
For me, but maybe not for you.
hi dot.
I found myself terrified of the next step. Each time I worked up all the things that could go wrong. Surely if I went out 'dressed' I'd get beaten. I'd be dumped in a sewer and people would laugh and I'd be humiliated...
And yet with each step forward nobody laughed, nobody beat me up, nobody humiliated me. I found after a while that nobody really wanted to know... I transitioned in a big city where alienation broad and deep.
My friends were all like "We knew something was up..." so what now?
I died a thousand imagined death and in the end it turns out I was my own biggest obstacle.
Now having said all this... I don't have kids, and no ex. So your risks are your own.
If what you risk causes loss, just remember this... after they turn 18 visitation rights go out the window and they can decide for themselves if they want to get to know you again or not.
Dayna.
...
Our greatest regrets are not what we did, but what we didn't do.
She who takes the greatest risk gets the greatest reward.
In short: Do it.