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Right after I got back from Thailand and SRS, I noticed that I was about 60lbs over what I had been when I started this whole TG debacle. It took a while for the storm to develop but about a month after I got back I sat down with my Shrink, who I was seeing once a week, and told her that she could help me or not but I was off the Prescription Drugs. She tried to say that I needed them but then I reminded her that I spent most of 57 years not on drugs, aside from sleepers once in a while. She also asserted that I as a Border Line Personality person could not handle life with out them.
I told her that I had survived childhood, served in the Military, and raised three children, and had been married for 39 years. Though I did not win the argument, she did start reducing my dosages and in about 8 months I was off everything except the Trazidone and reduced that dosage by half. I noticed today that I have one of those left and will probably split it in half tonight.
Oh, I still sometimes wrestle with my melancoly spirit, but mostly I seem to be able to use DBT to get through the low spots.
So, I was sitting at my desk on Friday doing volunteer work at the hospital, and armed with two brand new, and very good hearing aids. I think that they have gotten used to my being stone cold deaf almost and got a little careless. I over heard the following conversation:
"She seems to be doing very good after all she's been through"
"I know and she has continued to get better even without the Drugs, but I don't know how long that will last."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, sometimes they crash right away and sometimes they go on a long time, seem to do well and suddenly crash. Maybe she will do Ok?" The speaker said doubtfully.
Well, my first assumption is it was in fact, "all about me". I hope that was wrong.
Secondly, it seems that once we hit the wall, there are people who just sit around waiting for us to do it again.
On reflecting on my life, I have realized that if I get good and pissed off, I am much more likely to suceed, and right now, "I am good and .....
Khadija
Comments
Borderline personality?
What the heck does THAT mean?? Without the pills you'd have no personality? I think that's bull crap! You have a shitload of personality!! You are one of my favorite people on this site! You should fire that Quack!
Just my opinion. I'm not a doctor, I just play one in my mind. :p
Mr. Ram
Diagnosis
Border Line Personality Disorder was once the Militaries way out of saying ione had a mental problem, the reason, they did not want to pay disability.
I ws drug free (prescriptions and illegals) for the majority of my life. When they determined I had no active thyroid and after they botched a carpal tunnel operation I was on two medications. I now take six different meds if you include the daily vitamin and two for bedtime. I used to do 90 units of insulin until three weeks ago when i began following a healthy eating guide. In the morning I do 45 units so i can get through the day and 30 units at night.
I take Prozac and Klonopin to keep me at an even keel. They work well. I have seeen my blood pressure reduce, cholosesterol reduce (back to normal) and my own inner peace has arrived.
I tell my consumers in my Mental health group to take their meds or to talk to their shrink to come offf them. With Prozac and klonopin I can't just stop taking them, I'm not ready for seizures.
As for hitting the wall, most of the time its because one just stopped taking their meds, your therpaist was smart to take you down little by little it reduced your bodys dependency. You shouldn't have to worry about hitting a wall unless you physically do it, then its gonna hurt.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Medication
Taking medication when you should be med-free is wrong, as is taking the wrong medication. As one of my all time favorite people just explained above, some need to take medication because it is the only way to mitigate certain conditions; our body lacks certain chemicals due to a problem with production by systems in our body, so we take medications that duplicate or replace what our body is unable to produce on its own. I like my Klonopin and Inderol; they keep me from dropping things and walking into walls. I adore my Januvia, my Actos, my Metformin, because my Pancreas has chosen decidedly to not produce as much insulin as my body requires. Now the Lamicatal...that's a different story; taking it caused my body to react so severely that I started having the same problems the medication is designed to eliminate, me being one of a minute percent of folks that have that reaction. All that to say, I am being treated by the best doctor in his program in the best program in the world. However, to be on medication when it isn't required is wrong; to be misdiagnosed is criminal, and I'm sorry that Khadija had to go through that, and glad that she's finally at a place where she's good and... P.S. Hey Jill, Hey Liz!
Love, Andrea Lena
When you said DBT...
...my first thought was of a tabletop roleplaying game called Exalted, where "DBT" is a code for a power some characters can have called "Deadly Beastman Transformation", which allows those characters to transform into giant, murderous, well... beast-people (think werewolves (or werebadgers, or werehyenas, or werebunnies, or...) on the steroids some of the '50's experimenters were >trying< to create for the military). The picture of you taking a medicine to turn you into a bloodthirsty furry was actually kind of funny. ^^;
Good going on weaning yourself off of meds! *hugs*! and good luck as you >don't< hit that wall, just so you can laugh and say you didn't. ^__^
-Liz
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"