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Okay so last night I had a pair of dreams that were about as opposite as you could get.
In the first one, I was part of a group of people trapped inside a cave complex. I was steady and sure, I gave people jobs to do, and I encouraged everyone.
In short I was the kind of person I wish I was more often in real life.
Then in the second dream, I was at a large gathering. Things were going okay until some of the kids (in the dream I was clearly a kid as well), decided to go inside to play, leaving me outside.
Tears came to my eyes as I realized I was an outsider - not part of the group that had gone inside, but also not part of the group that had remained outside.
So I woke up feeling very sad.
Ah, well.
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So, hold on to the first dream ...
Maybe even turn it into a story, or put it into a 'scrapbook'.
Some people might add it to their Vision Board (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_board).
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The second, is kinda true most of the time. We are always newbies, we can feel like outsiders (even when it's not true). Even with people we've known for years, even siblings and Spouse. Everybody is always 'new', including us. None of us are the same as when we parted.
It's why "What's been happening?" is a standard question upon re-meeting. It helps us 'get back inside' with each other.
= =
My "Sunday Morning Hang-out", my nearest Humanist group ... Yeah, I can still feel like an outsider, even though I've been trying to build a social Home there, for >over five years<.
So, I 'keep on plugging'.
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That time I made & brought my "Double-Dog Dare Cornbread" (it's cornbread with slices of two kinds of vegan dogs mixed in). I had gone on a 10-15 minute building tour, then came back for seconds. The three nearest people almost grabbed me, saying "Stop! It's got meat in it!" (No meat in my own stuff, of course.)
Yeah, them 'knowing me' and acting - that helped a lot with my 'feeling on the inside'.
And I 'keep on plugging' anyways.