At first, I was very put off by this story because it aroused every single cell of sanctimonious indignation in my body since it was pure unrelenting sex. Yet, somehow I kept coming back to it like a moth to the flame.
The thing that kept drawing me was the undercurrent of camaraderie and kindness of the characters toward each other. I only really disagreed with one point in the story where one of the Girls said that they had never had a man there that just wanted to talk. I once knew a young woman who was a prostitute and we would have coffee at times. I even considered becoming a prostitute when I was almost on the street, but my fortunes changed and I did not need to try it. Besides, I am told that a very high percentage of T girls who become prostitutes get murdered.
She told me that at times, up to half their "tricks" just wanted to talk.
So, in the final analysis, the story is good if you are adult enough to search for the good. If not, I can not help you. And, the writers skills are something to behold, and many of you younger writers could take lessons because while your story ideas may be good, your language skills just suck. The goal of any good writer should be to improve their skills of the trade.
Much peace
Gwen
Comments
Thanks for the thoughtful consideration
Part of the reason I wrote this story was as an answer to the many "pure unrelenting sex" tales in the TG field. Character and motivation tends to be lacking in such works. I tried to come up with a situation typical of that subgenre, but one I could imagine actual humans inhabiting, and responding to.
And yes, things got pretty graphic. In a brothel full of magically-motivated women, that seemed kinda inevitable. My intent, though, was that each scene said something about the characters involved, illustrated some of the many different ways people would think and behave somewhere like Gerry's Place. My hope was that they'd have a bit more depth than pure pornography. Goals and results don't always line up, of course.
(And apparently I did a bad job in the conversation you pointed out; my intent was to imply that the more experienced girls had indeed run into their share of 'talkers'. It was only our protagonist, the new girl, who'd encountered one for the first time.)
Again, thanks for the feedback. I really do value the negatives as much as the positives. Whatever praise you might have for my skills - and thanks for that, too - I don't imagine I have nothing to learn anymore.