A part of the bagage I carry around where the comments my Ma made and one of her actions since the first time she found out I dressed (think I was about 8 years old at the time but it was going on from age 4 although I didn't life with her at that time). The action was the fact that there where no more hugs or any other comforting physical action. That hurt but it's the comments that screwed my up more. She basically told me I would end up only being good for working the streets in one way or another and she did this for about 7 years every time she caught me. ( think she finally stopped when I was hospitalized care for 6 months at age 15 for school problems and ending up being watched / put partially into care by the Special Youthcare branch (including after school and vacations) of the SS till I was 18).
I think that those are 2 of the reasons I'm such a mixmatch of everything. And that I don't fit the standard mold (if there even is one) of being transsexual. Throw in my ASD and it makes things even more complicated.
I've been postop for 12 years, 1 month and exactly a week today and I never regretted my GCS as in the fact of getting my body closer to who I am inside. What I do regret is the fact that I'm not able to have kids (even if I don't know if I would be a good mom) and the few times I get 'caught'. And yes the fact that I'm not that girly sometimes. But I'm being me and that's what I was aiming for since I knew the difference between a boy and girl.
Lynne
reflecting about her 37 years in this world
Comments
Being a particular gender....
Whether it's male or female doesnt mean you have to fit into a rigid stereo type. It also doesn't matter if your trans or not. Just be you. As long as your satisfied what does it matter?
'This be the verse'
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”
― Philip Larkin
I think says it all.
Angharad