I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this yet. I am trying something and I hope my readers will enjoy what I have written. This is a hard story to write, so PLEASE bear with me.

Parenting?
By
BrandieS

I buried my mother today. She was only 58 years old. She was a frail, terrified little girl for the last 23 years and rarely left my side. Now, she's waiting on the other side for me. I love you, momma. I miss you so much. The people at the funeral all gave me condolences and expressed their grief. Even "It's a sad day when a parent has to bury a child' was said. I cried, loudly. My husband held me tightly and wept for all of us. He had been there at the start and was here with me now. I love him dearly and he knows it.

This is all confusing isn't it? I mean I said I burried my mother, then mentioned burying a child. Well, let me tell you a story. And for the record, it does not begin with 'Once upon a time'. Actually, this is what happened, I remember how it all began...

The Begining, 23 Years ago

Part 1

"Just who the fuck do you think you are, Mister?" Mom screamed, then gulping air continued. "Don't tell me what to do. I AM the parent here, not you, I can go out and do as I please." I had heard this stuff before and had to listen again. Mom was going off, cause I caught her so-called boyfriend getting too rough. I hit him with my book and kicked him out. He wouldn't go out with mom till she could guaranty his safety.

Imagine, being afraid of me. Here's where I tell you that at 17 years old I'm 5 feet 6 and a half inches tall, and 118 pounds. Mom’s, and don’t tell her I told you, 35 years old. She always said I was a small baby and that I'd grow. I just didn't know when.

Then there was the fact that the Puberty Fairy hadn't added me to his list. A small penis, no Adam's apple, high voice and, Yuk, budding breasts. Mom took me to a doctor when I was 14, he said that there was a lot of natural Estrogen in most boys bodies and that till full onset puberty hits, the estrogen would make me look kinda girly. He said that the Testosterone levels of normal puberty would eventually kick in and things would come out normally. Till then, he said a good diet, exercise and a regular multivitamin were recommended. In other words, wait. But mom was helpful and we got some tight sports bras for me to wear. I also got a note from the doctor not to do PE anymore. Instead I got an extra Study Hall in school.

"Mom, listen to yourself. Your boyfriend is afraid of me. ME! What, a skinny 17 year old boy. Heck, I don't even shave and get treated like your little sister half the time, when we do go out. And you're complaining to me?" I had a look of amusement on my face as I finished, like I said I was skinny and small. Her current boyfriend was a lot bigger than me. Mom liked to go out with big men. 5 Feet 10 inches or above. Said it made her feel safe.

Mom's mouth opened but nothing came out. She was holding some clothes in her hands and just threw them at me. She finally screamed, "Well, I can go out with him, if I want to and I do. Just remember you're not the parent here."

I had barely caught the clothing as Mom made her outburst. Too, quickly I replied, "Oh, well, someone has to be the REAL parent here." I guess it was too much for mom, she stepped forward and slapped my face. I recoiled in shock. The slap hadn't hurt, but I was shocked that she had hit me. My eyes teared up and I sobbed. Mom stepped towards me and I turned away, saying, "I'm sorry mom. I love you and don't want to see you hurt." I withdrew to my bedroom. I sat on my bed sobbing. Not for the slap, it didn't hurt, but for my mom. She was gonna get in trouble. The trouble was she just didn't see it coming, or should I say couldn't see it coming.

I don't remember how long I sat there. I heard noises in the apartment, so I knew she was still here. I heard a door open, then another close followed by the sound of running water. 'Good', I thought, 'She's calming down.' She usually calmed down in the bath. This was a good thing and I went about my business. I picked up the clothes off my floor and put them in a basket, then off to the Laundry Room I went. Coloreds together, whites in hot water, bleach, detergent, coins in the machines, then the sound of machinery. I waited to put the clothes in the dryer, then went back upstairs.

"Mom!" I called. No answer. "Mom!" said as I walked down the hall to her room. The door was open and the room was a mess. There were clothes all over the place, closet open, dresser drawers half open. Not like mom. Something was up and mom had left without saying goodnight or telling me where she was going. Shit! I went back into the hall and walked to the kitchen. I was thinking. Where would she go? I could call her friend Joey, but she doesn't like me and uses a machine to screen her calls. Bitch. I didn't have a clue where she was going. Shit!

I looked at the time and realized that I should eat something. I pulled sandwich fixings’ out of the fridge and built a simple sandwich. Taking it to the living room, I grabbed the portable phone and sat on the couch. There was something behind me and I reached back and pulled it out. It was mom's purse. A quick glance told me that she had only taken a few things. When she got like this, she'd fill her pockets and go out. She always said that way she'd have to come back to get her purse. I sat it aside. Bored from looking at the lonely purse and phone and wishing it would ring, I turned on the TV. I just thumbed thru the channels and settled on a classic movie. Something with Frank Sinatra, no singing though, just acting. I musta dozed cause I woke up with slobber on my cheek and my half eaten sandwich on the floor. I picked up the food and headed for the kitchen. I saw the time, 11:47 PM. Mom had been gone for over five hours. Without calling, I was getting worried.

I returned to the living room and set back on the couch. I switched to Letterman and half listened to him and to the non-ringing phone. Mom had never stayed this mad at me before. She always called to let me know if she was ok. I must have dozed off, cause I woke up when the phone rang. I grabbed it and put it to my ear. Before I could say "Hello", I heard, "I need to speak to Dana Miller."

"Speaking", I returned to the voice.

"Uh, Mrs. Miller, do you have a daughter named Samantha?"

Without really hearing the question, I responded to the sound of mom's name. "What about her?" I quickly asked.

"I, uh, er, I, uh, there's no easy way to tell you this." the voice stammered.

I fell back in my seat wondering what was wrong. I could hear noises in the background and I didn't like them.

"Wha, what happened?" I asked.

"Sorry, I can't say over the phone, but I, that is Samantha gave us your number so we could call. You need to get here as soon as possible, Samantha needs her mother. I'm sorry I can't say anything more. Please hurry to Riveregde Emergency, ask for Dr. Templeton. I'm sending an officer for you. Thank you." That said, the phone went dead in my hand. I stared at the receiver for several seconds, then was rousted from my thoughts by, " If you would like to place a call, please hang up and dial again." I just hung up.

I was lost in thought when the door bell rang. Opening the door, I was greeted by a young lady wearing a Police uniform. "Mrs. Miller?", she asked. I motioned for her to come in. "Mrs. Miller", she continued, "I've been detailed to take you to RE. If you'd get your things, we'll be on our way. "

My mind wasn't working. I just stood there. The officer must have had experience though, cause she grabbed the purse and led me by the arm out the door. Closing and locking it on the way. I was in a daze. I just followed along. The officer was polite and tried to comfort me. She must have been talking about something cause when she touched my arm, I flinched. "Sorry, just wanted to see if you were still with us.", she smiled. "God", she continued, "You're so young looking and pretty. My mom still looks good for her age, too." She smiled again. She didn't say anymore as she pulled the car into the spot marked 'Police Vehicles' only. We both got out of the car and she led me into the building.

Have you ever been to an Emergency Room at midnight? Rhetorical question, cause if you have you can appreciate the bedlam all around you. I recoiled from the sights and sounds with a visible flinch. The officer took my arm and directed me through a maze of halls and doorways. I ended standing in front of a large glass door. I could hear crying on the other side of a pulled curtain. I reached to open the curtain and as man stepped towards me, his hand was held out in front of him. Automatically, I placed my hand in his. He grasped it lightly, then releasing it, said, “Uh, Mrs. Miller, you’re daughter Samantha is not good. Before I can let you see her, I need to see some ID and talk to you.”

Cause most people saw Mom and me as sisters, she got a friend to make me a fake ID, showing I was a girl. I could still use my real name, cause it could go for a boy or a girl. My full name is Dana Jamie Miller. Some handle, huh? I pulled out the ID and presented it to the doctor. He handed it back, then smiled weakly. “Please come this way, Mrs. Miller.” He said while leading me across the room to an empty table. Sitting, he indicated that I should sit too. He placed some papers on the table, then rubbed his eyes. “You’re kinda young to have a daughter, but, no, never mind, none of my business. She’s had a bad night. The cops picked her up outside of a club in a bad part of town. Her clothes were tore and her face was bleeding. Looked a mess. They thought she just got drunk and maybe got kicked out of the club for fighting. Happens a lot there. When the officers picker her up, she screamed bloody murder and tried to fight them off. They got her down and cuffed her. Not finding any ID, they thought she was underage drinking. One of the officers asked how much she’d been drinking and she said none. The officer flashed a light in her eyes and she didn’t flinch. He brought her to us. There have been a lot of this type of stuff going around lately. The cops been keeping it out of the news cause of their investigation.” He looked up at me and said “No use trying to sugar coat it. You’re daughter has been raped. Severely.” I flinched at the anger in his words and started to tear up. He quickly stood and moved to my side of the table. Without thinking, I leaned into him as his arm fell on my shoulder. He patted my back and stood there as I cried softly.

“Ca, can I see her?” I asked.

His head was bowed slightly down towards me as I stood and I found my self staring into perfect blue eyes. His mouth formed a little smile and not knowing why, I placed a hand on his cheek, giving him a soft caress. He let a small audible gasp and blushed. Turning away from him, I started across the floor to see my mom. But, she was asking for her Mommy and had given these people our home phone number. I was confused. First the call, then the police officer and then the doctor. I made the decision that if mom wanted her mommy then that would be what she would get. I stopped before the room and looking around, I asked the doctor “Is there like a lady’s room I can use first. I need to wash these tears away.” The doctor showed me to the Lady’s Room and I entered.

Luckily it was empty and I hurried into an open stall. I hung ‘my’ purse on the back of the door and pulling down my pants, I sat to do my business. Still sitting, I unbuttoned my shirt, all three buttons, and pulled it off. I put it on the hook, too. I unfastened the sport’s bra I normally wear and tool it off. I replaced my shirt and stood up to fasten my pants. I grabbed the bra and purse and went to the sinks. I put the purse on the counter and spying one of them push thru trash bins, deposited my dirty bra. I was gonna leave the Lady’s Room looking like a woman. I washed my face and hands, then opened mom’s purse and took out her compact. I lightly powdered my face and then used the tube of lipstick to color and shape my lips. Satisfied, I looked at my reflection and frowned. Something was not quite right. Looking back into the purse, I pulled out the brush and used it to fluff out my hair to give it more body. Finally, I was ready to begin my act. I stepped out the door and retraced my steps to my mom’s room. Taking a deep breath, I pulled back the curtain and entered.

Mom was laying in a bed with different machines making noise scattered around her. She had a plastic tube thing over her face that was just below her nose. There was a clear tube attached from her hand to a bag of stuff hanging at the bedside. There were also several wires that looked like they were coming out of her gown and going to a machine that was making a beeping sound. I was scared for her. Doctor Templeton was at the bedside as I approached and he smiled thinly at us. “Sweetie, it’s mommy.” I was almost in tears. “I’m here Honeybear.” I reached out a hand to touch her and she recoiled from it.

Looking at the doctor for assistance, he urged me to continue. “Honeybear.” I cooed. “Mommy’s here to take you home. The nice doctor called me to come get you.” I heard sobbing coming from the bed and stepped closer. Again I put my hand out and said “Mommy’s here, Honeybear.”

Suddenly, it was like I was caught in a vise. Mom had put her arms around me and was pulling me tightly to her. She was sobbing as she tried to talk. “I’m sorry Mommy. Don’t let them hurt me again. Please.” I was crying too.

“Mommy’s not gonna let the bad people get you, Honeybear. The Doctor wants you to spend the night so he can have someone watch you, then in the morning I can take you home. Okay, Sweetie?” I said softly. I felt a tremor move over her body, then her head shake.

“Ok, mommy.” was the soft reply. I breathed deeply and renewed my hold on her, my mom, my little girl. I glanced at the doctor and he smiled encouragement. I returned his smile and he flushed again. Turning, he left the room.

I sat at the bedside holding mom’s hand. Unaware of the time, a nurse came in the room and touched my shoulder. “Hun, you got to get up. We’re gonna take your daughter up to her room. Follow us.” She began disconnecting stuff from the wall, the machines and mom. She opened the door to its fullest and with a helper, she began to push the bed into the hall. She led the way as her helper pushed along.

When we came to a corner, Doctor Templeton stepped close to me. “Uh, can I talk to you for a minute before you go on up. Please.” He had a pleading look on his face and I just nodded my head. I was thinking ‘Did he find out about me and mom?’ He told the nurse that I would be right along and she continued guiding the bed towards the elevator. Doctor Templeton pulled me into an empty room and as I turned to say something, his mouth covered mine. As my mouth was partially open, he probed lightly with his tongue and I melted against him. The kiss lasted forever. He broke the kiss and said “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but I just had to. I have wanted to kiss you since I first saw you. Please forgive me.”

I don't know what came over me as I smiled and moved closer to him. Reaching up, I placed a hand on the back of his head and pulled him to me. Our lips met again and we kissed deeply. I broke the kiss this time and smiled. “I won’t tell a soul.” I hurried down the hall to the bank of elevators. Taking the patient elevators, I actually beat mom’s bed to her assigned room and soon she was resting. The night nurse had setup a sleep chair for me and I spent the night close to mom.

Morning light came too quickly and I woke with two urges. The first I could take care of and I went into the toilet and was soon relieved. The second would have to wait till I got home. A new homily occurred to me; ‘Home is where the toothbrush is.’ I smiled at my wit. I returned to the sleep chair and watched my mom sleep. Worry overcame me as I watched her facial movements. My mom was more fragile that I thought and I was afraid of the price she might pay for her humiliation.

The clock showed 7:30, when the door opened and a nurse came in. She gently shook my mom and did some nursing stuff. She left with a promise to be back soon. Mom looked over at me and smiled. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead closed it again. A cloud passed over her face and she frowned. Looking back at me, she said “Mommy, does daddy know bout last night?”

I carefully weighed my words before answering. The last thing I wanted was to get in trouble by pretending to be someone I’m not. I hesitated then said, “No, Sweetie, daddy doesn’t know. He’s at the lake with your brothers.” I saw mom relax and I reached out a hand for her. We sat holding hands for several minutes.

I was an emotional mess. My mom had been drugged and raped. She had withdrawn into herself and didn’t seem to remember who I was. I was pretending to be her and I had actually tried to make myself look more feminine to the point of actually kissing a doctor, TWICE. What was I gonna do?

I thought about what to do and decided to play out the hand we'd been given. I sat by the bed and talked softly to her. “Honeybear, it’s gonna be ok. Mommy’s gonna take you home soon. The doctor said we could go home this morning.” I leaned towards her and kissed her forehead. Caressing her brow with my other hand I continued talking softly to her. We continued like this as time passed.

By noon, we were anxious to leave and the nurse called the doctor. The nurse had said that she would call for the on-call doctor as that was the one that usually handled the daily cases. To her surprise, both the on-call doctor and Doctor Templeton showed up at the same time. Doctor Templeton said he would handle the call and his coleague left. I smiled brightly as he entered the room.

Doctor Templeton was all business. He checked mom and looked at her chart. He rattled off some medical words and the nurses left the room only to return with a wheelchair. The nurse assisted mom into the chair and took her out of the room. I started after her, but Doctor Templeton asked me to stay a moment. Looking at his face, how could I refuse.

He fidgeted from foot to foot, then smiled timidly. “Uh, I, uh, I want to apologize for my behavior last night. I was very unprofessional and did an unspeakable thing. I took advantage of you in an emotional moment. I am very sorry.” The look on his face was incredible. Here I was a 17 year old boy, masquerading as a grown woman and he was telling me he was sorry. It should be me apologizing. The irony was quite magnetic.

I smiled at him and put a hand on his cheek. Applying pressure to my hand I turned his face to mine and replied. “Doctor Templeton , you are a good man. I forgive you.” He moved closer to me and he tilted his head down and lifted my chin. I was looking into those incredible eyes again as I opened my mouth slightly to meet his kiss. He gently probing my mouth with his tongue. I lost all track of time while kissing the doctor and we were interrupted by the return of the nurse and my mom. We stepped apart quickly, but I am sure she thought something had happened between us. Doctor Templeton said his goodbyes and left the room, humming to himself.

Soon the nurse had mom ready for discharge and she pushed the wheelchair down the hallway to the elevators. I had used my cell to call for a Taxi and it was waiting at the front. I helped mom in the cab and as I was starting to get in, the nurse asked “Hun, what do you have that I’m missing. I have been after that man for a whole year and nothing. You show up and he acts goofy and love struck. Hun, whatever it is, can I get a quart?’ She laughed and walked off. I got in the cab and we went home.

We stopped at the drug store near our house to pick up some medicine. Doctor Templeton had called in three prescriptions. One was a sedative, you know, the type of pill to help calm a person down, the second was a cream for her private area, as she was bruised and sore in that area. The last was an antibiotic to help prevent infection. Doctor Templeton had explained about this stuff when we were in mom’s hospital room. He also gave me his phone number, making me promise to call him in a couple of days.

I went to the pharmacy counter and picked up the drugs, then made my way to the feminine products aisle. I picked up two disposable douches and a package of sanitary napkins. I took my purchases to the register and the sales clerk rang them up. I hadn’t been paying attention cause as I looked up at the clerk, I recognized her. She smiled and said “Will that be all, Miss?’ I just nodded my head. She put the items in a bag and took the money saying “I wondered if I would ever see you in REAL girl clothes. Gosh, you’re so darn pretty. You shouldn’t hide beauty like that.” She handed me my change and I took my bag and went out to the cab to continue home.

Just a couple of more blocks and we were home. I helped mom up the stairs and I unlocked the door. Mom just stood without doing anything. I put down her purse and the shopping bag and I her to her bedroom. I sat her on the edge of the bed and helped her to lay back. I said “It’s ok, Honeybear, you’re home now. Just rest here while I take care of things. You just rest, Honeybear, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I made sure she was comfortable and covered her with a light spread. I went back to the living room and got the shopping bag.

I put the pills in the medicine cabinet and the pads on the counter. Thinking I heard a noise, I went back into the hall. No sound. I checked on mom and she was quietly sleeping. I returned to the bathroom and was soon enjoying a hot shower. I finished my shower and grabbing a clean towel, I went back to my room. I just dressed as usual, except that I wear small boys underpants, they're more like girls usualy wear. The doctor recommended that I wear something like them to give me better support and comfort. Jeans, sneakers, sport bra and polo shirt completed my usual manner of dress. I headed back to mom’s room to check on her.

It’s funny how time passes. I was cleaning up around the apartment and catching up on things. You know. Then I realized that I didn’t have any more to do. I just stood there looking around. I guessed I laughed out loud. The phone chose that moment to ring. “Hello.” I said into the receiver.

“Ah, uh, hi.” Came a tentative reply. “ This is Doctor Templeton , I’m calling to see if you’re ok.”

I smiled into the receiver before replying. “Doctor Templeton, thank you for calling. We’re doing fine.”

“Tha, that’s good to hear.” He continued. “I’m gonna be in the neighborhood later and I thought that I might, uh, might…..”

“Doctor Templeton, you don’t need to check on us and I know that our neighborhood is out of your way. Thank you for the call and if we need any more help, we’ll call 911. Bye.” I replaced the phone in the cradle. I turned away from it as it started ringing again. Oh well, that’s what answering machines are for.

I went to mom’s room and checked on her. She was still sleeping and looked so fragile. I couldn’t help myself, so I bent over her and kissed her forehead. I re-tucked her blanket and went out the door. As I entered the hall, I hesitated, then left her door open. I was feeling hot and sticky from the cleaning and went into the bathroom.

Our bathroom is semiprivate. It has three doors, one opening to each bedroom and the third opening into the hall. I started the water and opened the door to mom’s room. I striped off my clothes and got under the water. I washed everything, hair and body. I let the hot water beat into my back as I stood under the shower. Finally it was time to get out of the shower and I turned off the water and stepping out, I grabbed a clean towel and started drying off. I looked in on mom and she was still on her bed. I went thru the bathroom to my room and pulled out a clean change of clothes.

Just as I was starting to get dressed, I heard the doorbell ring. Shucks, I didn’t want mom to be woke up like that so I tucked the towel around my waist and headed for the door. I figured I just get rid of whoever was there.

Looking out the spy hole, I saw Doctor Templeton. I hesitated, I didn’t want to see him, or have him see me. I was about to say something, when he rang the bell again. Darn. I had to do something before he woke up mom. Looking thru the spy hole again, I saw him raise his fist like he was gonna knock on the door. I couldn’t have that, so I quickly pulled the door open.

Looking at me must have been quite a shock for him. Imagine, wet tangled hair, towel around my waist and oh yea, did I mention that I have boy boobs. Can you imagine the look on his face, I mean, I had been at the hospital pretending to be my mom’s mother. Ha! I grabbed his arm and quickly pulled him inside.

Turning to him I said “Doctor Templeton, what are you doing here? You didn’t need to come by. I can take care of mom by myself.” As I said the last, I turned bright red. Shit. I had just gave it all away.

The look on his face was of puzzlement. He had been expecting something quite different. He stared at me with a fierce penetrating look. I wilted under his gaze and sat down on the couch. Course it didn’t help that the towel came off as I was sitting. Now I was actually naked in front of him. I’ll say this though, he was a gentleman. He quickly picked up my towel and placed it over me, mostly the lower part. My boy boobs still stuck out. Doctor Templeton just smiled weakly and sat at my side. “Dana, can I call you Dana, I, uh, that is, I had to see you.” He finished with a smile.

I looked down at the towel and evil overcame me. I remembered the kisses from the hospital and could feel a new type of heat rising in my body. I pulled the towel off and threw it on the floor. “This is as much as I can show you sitting here.” He was a gentleman cause he looked away and turned the darkest shade of red I have ever seen on a person. Looking across the room, he said “Uh, Dana, can you please put something on? As much as I’d like to see you like that, I don’t want it to influence my behavior.”

There was something about this man. I had enjoyed the kissing at the Hospital, I just didn't know why. I smiled up at him and took his hand in mine. I gently rubbed the back of his hand and I placed it on my leg, above my knee. I looked into his face and saw something glorious there. I leaned into him and kissed him passionately. I pulled him to me and struggled to pull him deeper into my body. I could not get enough of this man.

He returned the kiss with the same intensity I gave. Arms around each other, we tried to become one. The kiss was taking us to untold places. Especially me. I had not kissed any men before the good doctor and no girls at all. His was my first real kiss and what a kiss. Wow! Now I was kissing him again. It was a struggle, but break the kiss we did.

Separated by only a few inches, Doctor Templeton said “Dana, I love you. No don’t say anything yet. I know that there are age differences, but we can overcome that if you want. I had to tell you, that’s why I’m here.” His face showed turmoil. “Oh, and I came to see your daughter, too.”

When he mentioned mom, I stood up, naked in front of him and reached for his hand. He slipped his hand in mine and stood beside me. I led him down the hall to mom’s room. We went to the bedside and as he checked mom, I stood to the side. My nudity didn’t seem to cause him any concern as he performed his exam. When he finished he pulled the cover over mom and we left the room.

In the hall, he pulled me to him and kissed me again. This time, I hesitated and he asked. “What’s wrong Dana?” Stepping away from him, I said “Look at me. I’m not who you think I am.” He fixed me in his gaze and said in reply “Dana, not to worry, you’re beautiful. I know you don’t have a full figure like other women, but, hey why worry?” He chuckled lightly.

I was amazed and stepped back. I wanted him to see that I wasn’t who he thought I was. It was then that I realized that in the darkened hallway, he couldn’t see the real me very well. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom. I put the top of the toilet seat down and pushed him onto it. I took the three steps to the vanity and flicked on the lights. He had to see. I knew he wouldn’t get rough. He had a lot to loose. I would just apologize and we would go our separate ways. I took a deep breath and turned in my nakedness to face him. “Look at me, carefully, then tell me what you see.” I said.

His eyes traveled over my body. I felt stupid, but held my ground. He looked at my face and followed my form down over my chest, lower to my abdomen and when I thought he was looking at my privates, I opened my legs wider for him to see. That brought a smile to his lips. He fixed my small manhood with a hard stare and I just stood there. Finally, he lowered his eyes down my legs and I heard him take a deep breath.

“Well, what do you see?” I was anxious to put this behind us. I didn’t want to be hurt and I didn’t want to hurt him. I could also remember the taste of his first kiss and it caused me to feel the heat rise in my body.

Noticing my change of color, he replied, “I see a lovely woman. An incredible beauty.” I was stunned. Didn’t he see my small winky. God, he was a doctor, weren’t they supposed to know the difference between male and female. Was he an idiot. “But, but” I started, “can’t you see that I’m not a boy. Look.” I pointed to my crotch.

He frowned, then let out a little gasp. His face scrunched up in thought, then relaxed. “Oh, that, well I’d have to have a better look, but I don’t see anything too wrong.” He smiled.

“T-t-too wr-wr-wrong?” I stammered.

He looked up and smiled, then said “Yea, you may have a condition known as Clitoromegaly. It’s an enlargement of the Clitoris. I’d have to examine you to be sure.” He was still smiling. Incredible.

I turned from the vanity and went into my room to get dressed. He waited for a few minutes then came to the door. I had put on a pair of underwear and shorts. I had a sports bra on my hand as he leaned against the door frame. “Dana, you sure don’t have a very girly room. Looks more like a boy’s room.”

I was in the process of pulling on the bra as he said this and I just sat on the bed, dropping the bra on the floor. I started to cry. Doctor Templeton came to my side and I leaned against him. He put a hand on my bare shoulder. I sobbed. God, I felt terrible. “Doctor Templeton, I’m, uh, I’m, oh this really hurts, but I’m really a boy. Have been all my life.” I finally managed to get out. Them the dam broke.

I don’t know how long I cried. Doctor Templeton tried to comfort me, but I pushed him away. I think it would have been easier if he had just left, but he didn’t. He tried to be helpful, but all I could feel was the shame and anguish for my actions and the fear of retribution. After swimming downstream in the river of regret, I stopped crying. I stood up and headed for the bathroom to wash my face. Doctor Templeton remained seated on my desk chair as I crossed in front of him. As I re-entered my room, he handed me my polo shirt. I quickly drew it over my head and motioned for him to follow me. I went to the kitchen and put on water for a cup of coffee. I set out two cups, the sugar bowel, and cream. As we use the coffee bags, I selected caffeinated for me and for him, too. The coffee bags in the cups, I poured the hot water and set the cups on the table. Not a word was said as the coffee brewed.

I looked over the top of my cup at Doctor Templeton. He was looking back at me and smiled as our eyes met. “Uh, Doctor Templeton” I started.

“Stop, don’t call me that, call me Alex, after all we’ve been through.” He smiled sweetly. He again sipped from his coffee cup and set it back on the table. His hand reached across the table and touched mine. “Dana, before you go any farther, let me tell you that I know.” He was still smiling.

“Uh, you know what?” I asked. There was fear in my voice as this was said.

“About Samantha, it’s ok. And I think you’re very brave.”

I was confused, if he knew about mom, then what was the comment about bravery. This conversation was taking a rather strange turn. “Alex, just what do you mean? You mean to tell me that you know that Samantha is my mother!”

His face had a slack jawed look as I finished dropping my bomb. ‘Cept that I didn’t know it was a bomb. His mouth opened and nothing came out. He tried to speak again and still nothing. His brain had received information that his mind was just trying to fathom. Finally at the third try, he squeaked “You’re Mom?”

“What about your mom.” came from a voice down the hallway. “She’s right here, Honey.” The voice was soft and closer.

Mom was leaning into the hallway and seemed about to fall over. I jumped out of my chair and ran to her. Alex was right beside me as I held mom to keep her from falling.

“Whew, weaker than I thought.” she said. “Can you put me on the couch?” We were moving her in that direction as she asked and turned her back to the couch as she settled on a cushion. “Can I get a cup of coffee, smells good.”

I retrieved a cup from the cabinet and selected a decaf coffee bag then added water. I steeped the bag for a few minutes, then taking the coffee fixins, I put them on the table beside her. I returned to the table and retrieved my cup.

I watched her for several seconds. It hurt. She looked so frail sitting there. It seemed that she had lost all her energy and will. She was a poor reflection of her previous self. I started to say something, but she beat me to it.

“So, Dana, who’s your guest?” She was looking at Doctor Templeton.

“Uh, ma’am, I’m Doctor Templeton. You can call me Alex. I was your admitting physician when you were in the hospital.” Alex had turned to look at her. He glanced back at me and placed one hand over mine. I just hoped that mom didn’t see that.

“So, then Doctor Templeton, since when did doctors start making house calls again?” Mom asked.

Doctor Templeton was good, I got to give him credit, but even though mom was not up to par, she still realized that he was full of shit and told him so. His answer was to blush and look at me.

“Ok, mom, he came to see me. Satisfied. Nothing sinister is happening. Relax. And yes, he did give you a check up, just like he said. I was right there at your side when he did it.” I just knew this was gonna get out of hand. Mom had this was about her.

"Ok, then Dana, what’s so special about you that this doctor had to come here? Huh?” Mom was pushing.

I looked at Doctor Templeton, then turned to mom and explained the whole mistaken identity thing. About how she was calling for her mom in the ER and gave them out home phone number and how everyone assumed that I was Gram. I told how I went along with the charade cause that seemed to be the best course and the easiest thing to do. The, hanging my head, I told her about Doctor Templeton kissing me and me kissing him back. I was bright red as I said the last part. Thankfully for me Doctor Templeton, Alex, was too.

Mom sipped her coffee, silently looking at us. I knew not to move and Doctor Templeton sat still, also. He did cast a glance at mom, then one at me. Finally my coffee cup was empty and I moved. “Uh, just where are you going, missy?” Mom had a habit of calling me missy when I did something wrong. Normally she only did this when we were alone, so I guess this time was special. I motioned to the kitchen and said “More coffee, uh, refill anyone?”

Dr. Templeton looked at mom and asked "Missy?" Mom told him that we would often argue about who was the parent here and that more often than not, I was usually right and mom called me 'Missy' to just rattle my chain. This was one of those times.

Mom and Dr. Templeton were talking and I thought it was a good idea, so I went to my room and cleaned up a bit. I could hear them and they were getting along. I was so scared about mom. I was kind of glad that Dr. Templeton, Alex, was here. I could hear mom say something about being mistaken for a girl and Alex laughing. It sounded like a good laugh, not a mean laugh. I guess that's when I realized that I liked him and I smiled thinking about kissing him.

"Missy, Alex's leaving. Come say bye." Mom called softly. I went back into the living room. It was amazing that he didn't look too embarased. I thanked him for stopping by to check on us and especially mom. He did blush at that. He gave my hand a small squeeze and I returned the blush. I don't know why, but I gave him a quick hug. Mom, then gave him a kiss on the cheek and he left.

Things settled back in our groove. We did our usual stuff and on Friday. I went to the movies with some friends. I wish I hadn't. The apartment was dark when I got home. Thas was unusual cause mom usually left a light on if she went out and she was staying in tonight. I called out to her as I entered and no answer. I turned on a light and the place was a mess. I was getting nervous. I called out for mom again. Still no answer. I grabbed a meat tenderizer from the kitchen and held it firmly in my hand. Not much of a weapon, but something. I eased my way down the hall. I turned on the hall light and saw that the pictures inthe hall were on the floor. I was scared.

Moving farther down the hall, I called out again and still nothing. The bathroom door was open and thankfully it was empty. Nothing in my room, either. Outside the door to mom's room, I hesitated and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants, I opened her door calling out softly. A light was coming in from the window and a figure was outlined on the bed. I darn near had a heart attack when I saw that. I reached out and turned on her bedroom light and wished I hadn't. Mom was laying on her bed not moving. She was beaten and her hands tied to the bed post. There was a bunch of blood all over her. I could see her breathe and quickly untied her. I grabbed her phone and called the police, then waited.

The ambulance and the police showed up about the same time. I was suprised that the first police officer inside was the female officer from last week. She greeted me and gave me a little hug, then "Now, tell me in your own words what you know." I told her about the last week and how 'Samantha ' was doing and brought her up to date. She gave me a thin smile, then asked if she could talk to me in private. We walked down the hallway and entered mom's room. She looked around and then "This isn't your room, is it?" I shook my head 'No'. I took her to my room. She closed the door and began "First things first, I'm Sandy. Look, Dana, I did a little investigating and found a few things. First I found out that you are a BOY. Then I talked to Dr. Templeton and he says otherwise, 100% GIRL. Now, wait, listen to me. I know what happened to your mom and how she needs you to be there for her. It's ok with me. You haven't done anything wrong. Just Dont! I'll help you with what I can, if you have any questions for me, ask or you can call me on my cell, here's my numbers. Now, let's get Sam to the ER." She stepped to me and gave me a hug. I was shocked and followed her lead.

Mom was put in an ambulance and I went with her. The female police officer, Sandy was right at our side. I guess fate is quirky cause, it was Dr. Templeton that opened the ambulance door and immediately began shouting orders. Mom was transferred to a gurney and taken inside. Alex just looked at me and smiled. Not a happy smile, though. Mom's clothes were cut away and she was being turned this was and that. I was asked to wait outside the room, till Alex and the nurses were done. I was a nervous wreck. People were going in and out of her room with all kind of stuff. I thought she was going to die and started to cry. Sandy saw me tear up and sat beside me whispering words of encouragement.

After what seemed forever, Alex came out of the room and walked over to me. I stood as he approached and he suprised me by pulling me into a hug. I needed the comfort and returned the embrace. After we seperated, he told me what had been done to mom and what he was doing to help her. She was taken to Xray for a bunch of studies, to include MRI and CT scan. I was to wait for her return. He reached for my hand as he turned to leave and said "It's nice to see you again, Missy." I blushed. Sandy was taking note of our closeness and said "Wow, he's in love." She laughed and continued "And from the looks of it, I'd say you were too."

"But..but..I'm suposed to be a boy." I mumbled.

While I waited for mom, Sandy told me that they suspected that she was the victim of a rape gang. She said the first rape, last week, was a set up, a new date rape drug had beeen used and her ID had probably been stolen or copied. That's how the gang knew where she was and that she was home alone. It was also possible that they had video taped everything. Some of the physical evidence supported this theory. Sandy said that we would be watched closely, but didn't think that the gang would be back. I just worried more.

Not soon enough, Alex came and got me. He said that Mom had been taken to a secure room in a special wing, I read Crazy House here, and that she'd be safer. A specialist would be in to see her in the morning and treatment would go from there. There was nothing I could do at the Hospital and Alex offered to take me home. I said I could get a taxi, but he insisted.

He drove in silence. I could hear his breathing and him sighing several times. The drive was over too soon however and he pulled into the apartment parking lot. He cut the motor and we just sat there. After a few minutes of silence, I started to say goodnight, but he suprised me by pulling me to him and kissing me. I responded to the kiss and eagerly returned it. When our embrace ended, he spoke "Dana, it's not safe or you here tonight. Let's get you some clean clothes and I'll take you someplace safer." I could see worry in his face. I, too, had a bad feeling about spending the night in the apartment.

Opening the door was an emotional experience. The place was a wreck. I didn't hesitate, but quickly went to my room and gathered together some clean clothes. A few undies, clean sports bra, nice pants and a couple of shirts and a sleep shirt. To the bathroom for my toothbrush and tooth paste and a few other items and I was ready to leave. Alex mentioned getting something for mom to change into and I picked out a few items for her. I was glad to be going. Her bedroom gave me the creeps. Alex took my bag and I locked the door and we left.

Alex's idea of someplace safe was his house. He had a teriffic three bedroom two story house on one acre of land. It was great. I objected to his bringing me home with him, but he would not have it. He said "All part of the service. Let me show you to your room."

I had a hot shower and since it was late, just put on my sleep shirt. I never wear undies to bed as I have the occasional misfortune of having to pee rather quickly sometimes. I have in the past wet my undies and the answer to the problem was simple, no undies, no wet. As I am small in that area, I don't have any problems when sleeping.

I was making some noise in my room, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see Alex smiling at me. "Feel better?" I nodded yes. He reached for my hand and pulled me towards the stairway and down the stairs ending in a large room off the kitchen. A big screen TV was on relating the nightly news. Alex sat me on a couch and went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Reaching in he pulled out something and poured into two glasses. He returned to the couch and sat down beside me. "Here, sip this. Doctor's orders." He laughed lightly. I took a sip, then nothing.

I woke up with someone holding me. I was sitting against a warm chest. With my hand I felt warm skin and a few well placed chest hairs. It was Alex. As a boy I was teriffied, but Alex insisted that I was a girl. Being held did feel good. He was holding me close and it felt good. Real good. One arm was resting on my lap and the other was resting down my side. There was a blanket over us and it was filled with the pleasant odor of Alex's warmth. I was still quite sleepy and snuggled closer, nuzzling his neck. I felt him respond and hold me tighter. It felt like heaven.

The next time I woke, Alex was trying to untangle himself from me. I shifted and he kissed my forehead saying quietly "I need to get up and use the bathroom. Sorry, Missy." I smiled at him calling me Missy, it seemed so right. I shifted position and he got off the couch. He padded across the room and after a few minutes, he returned. He stood looking at me. "Alex, you wanna get back in here?" I asked. He smiled as I sat up to give him space behind me. With Alex on the couch, I settled back towards him.

"Missy, uh, umm, " he began

"Yes Alex?" I prompted, but he didn't say any more. I waited for a few seconds, then "Alex, I have a problem and we need to talk about it. OK?"

"Sure, in the morning, but first.." He kissed me and pulled me to him. Soon we were both sound asleep. I thought he smelled so nice as I snuggled into his chest.

There was light thru the windows when I finally got off the couch. I had a pang of regret about cuddling with Alex, but. There was just something about him. I knew that he was older, but no too much. I had told him I was a boy, but he denied it saying that I was a girl with a medical condition. Of course the examination had only been one sided as I had shown him mine. Still, I had regrets about last night. And there was the fact that he had had a hand laying in my lap, over my, well you know. I also knew that I was falling in love with him. I was confused.

I lay against Alex listening to his heartbeat. It had been me and mom for as long as I could remember and to tell the truth, the closeness felt good. I admit I was confused, but I was also scared. Scared about what happened to mom and what else would go wrong. Sandy, the police woman, said that they would try to set a trap for the rapist, but she didn't know if it would work. She also said that I should not stay there by myself. Yet, mom and I had no one else. I realy didn't think about staying with Alex. Last night just kinda happened. I don't know why.

I did know that I was fallinf in love with him. Was that bad. It didn't feel bad. I started to sniffle as I ran through all these conflicting thoughts. I wept quietly onto his shoulder and chest. He felt me shivver and pulled me closeer. The feeling was so intense, it caused me to bawl like a baby. What was happening to me!? After a few minute I couldn't tke it any moe. I got up and ran upstairs to the room Alex said I could use. I grabbed my bag and quickly dressed. There was knocking on the door, but I ignored it. I would open it when I was ready and just go. Away from this nightmare. I started to shake and fell, hitting my head on the way down.

I woke up in a strange room. I heard voices and unfamiliar sounds. I tried to move, but I hurt and the attempt to move caused me to groan. Someone said "Call the doctor" and then nothing. The next time I woke up, there was a dim light coming through the window and I felt like something was in my hand. I was right. Alex was sitting at the bedside holding it. I heard him say "Did you do the test like I asked? And the other one, was it ok?" He sounded anxious. I wondered why. I moved and he turned towards me and smiled

I smiled weakly and before I could say a thing, he said "You hit your head when you fainted. I stopped the bleeding and brought you here. We did an Xray, no fractures, but you have a concussion and we put in six stitches. You're gonna have one heck of a headache later. We did a couple of blood test and I have the results if you want." I nodded for him to continue, but he hesitated, then taking a deep breath, he let it out and said "Dana, what I'm going to say is important. This is real and you need to get a grip on this, especially with your other situation. And yes, she's doing better, today. The test we did showed several things, first, your anemic, then your body is producing an awful lot of Estrogen. Your plumbing is all messed up. too. I am referring you to see Dr. Anders, she's a GYN specialist and also does Endocrinology. She'll be in later to see you. She's been briefed on your condition and will do all she can to help."

I tried to reply but nothing would come out. Just what had happened when I lost consciousness? Alex sensing my confusion, leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "You just rest there Missy and I'll be back soon to take you home." Maybe I was just wiped out by the traumatic events of the past week, but that sounded good. Real Good!

Alex did take me home, but to his home. I complained but that did little good. He had made up his mind before I was injured and those darn tests at the hospital just made it worse. He put me in the same room as before and let me settle in. I was tired and after putting my stuff up, I laid on the bed and fell asleep. I woke with Alex sitting next to me saying "God, Missy I could watch you forever. You're so pretty." He bent and kissed my cheek, following with "Come on, let's get you something to eat." I had to use the toilet, so I'd meet him in the kitchen.

After using the bathroom, I went downstairs to see what else Alex had up his sleeve. He was sitting at the breakfast counter as I walked in and waved me to a seat. He stood as I neared and held the stool for me. I wasn't used to this stuff and shoved his hand away. Then seated, I looked at him and asked "Ok, Alex, just what do you have to say for all this?" I bit my lip as I waited.

He was contrite. I'll say that for him. He zigged and zagged then finally said "Dr. Anders is my sister. I told her about you and she agrees. She'll give you a complete physical and do some studies to see where any problems might be. Next, your Mom is responding to treatment but, and I hesitate to say this, she'e responding as a little girl. You need to get better, both your head wound and emotionally so I can take you to see her. I pulled your records and see where you'll be 18 in a few weeks, good. We're going to try to stall the authorities till then, after that it'll be too late. Last and the most important is you and me. Now listen, this is important." He began pacing and was getting nervous. He paused pacing and looked at me, then said "I love you". I tried to get a word in, but he cut me off, continuing, "No, wait till I'm done. I want to marry you. I'm 24 years old. Yea I know, child prodigy and all that. That's why I'm a doctor at my age. I'll tell you the rest at a later time. I know you don't think you are a girl, but you are. But not just any girl. My Girl!" He paused again and looked at me, then said "Your turn."

I sat with my mouth open like I was catching flies. I was stunned. I wondered if I should tell him that I loved him, instead I sat there weeping. Every time I looked at him I wanted to hide in his arms. God, I was a boy and I was in love with a boy, actually a man. What was wrong with me. My emotions were rollercoastering all over the place. I thought it would be better to just say nothing and I did.

Alex saw the look in Dana's eyes and left the room. He thought that he'd lost her forever. He was so much in love and at a complete loss as to what to do. He did what every red blooded American male did...he got drunk.

Lyrics from the Harry Chapin song filled Alex's thoughts. 'Well The morning come so swiftly I held her in my arms. And she slept like a baby, snug and safe from harm.' The words just ran around in Alex's head. Left side, right side, back, font, middle. Running, running, running. Alex stood under the shower, letting the hot water wash away the grief of last night. His hope that Dana would understand what he had said and reply. The worst part of last night was when she just said nothing. That hurt. Shower finished, Alex prepared to face his day. Dana heard the shower in Alex's room and knew he was up. She had seen him get drunk last night and was feeling guilty about it. Both of them needed to talk things out. Just when was the question.
Out came Dana's cell and an order for a cab was placed. Dana grabbed his/her? stuff and silently mover to the front door, then outside. A short walk, then a ride in the cab brought Dana home. The place was a mess and after taking a look around, Dana began cleaning the apartment. The phone rang intermittently, but was ignored. Cleaning the apartment was a tonic that freed the mind and chased away other thoughts. Dana remembered the saying about concentration and put all wandering thoughts away. Too soon they would come flooding back.
Don't think that cleaning a house is easy. It takes a determined effort. Men that think their stay-at-home wives have it easy should clean the bathroon or mop and wax the tile floors. To say nothing of stripping and making beds. It took most of the day, but the house was clean and after laundry would be ready for mom's return.

To be continued!