"You're a total bitch," I shouted back at my sister.

She smiled and made cat like movements with her free hand.

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"Tranny!"

"Gay boy!"

"Nice dress, weirdo"

The whispered taunts mingled with the general suppressed laughter as everyone in my group looked at the cell phone video of Eddie and me dancing together, on Youtube.

I felt tears forming in my eyes and wiped them away. I didn't want my tormentors to see my weakness. I wished a hole could suddenly open up underneath me and swallow me up.

"Any problem over there?" asked Mr Smith, the IT teacher, as he looked up from the other corner of room.

"No, sir," answered Joanne and Alec in unison.

"OK, less noise then and try and finish the assignment before the end of the lesson," said Mr Smith, before turning back to the group he was helping.

I closed the Youtube browser and stared at my PowerPoint. I felt a deep blackness inside me. My whole world of school superficial friendships balanced with a secret exploration of my need to be a girl had been smashed to pieces. My sister had blackmailed me into being her 'pet', but instead of caring for me she had mentally abused me for her own immediate brutal pleasure.

I suddenly knew what I had to do. I quickly saved my work and logged off the system.

I stood up and walked towards the teacher.

"Excuse me Mr Smith," I said as politely as possible," I've got a dentist appointment to go to now."

"Sure, John, no problem," responded Mr Smith, as he struggled to show an IT phobic pupil how to input video into his slideshow," did you save your work and log off the system?"

"Yes, sir," I replied quietly.

"OK, off you go then and one thing John," he said as he turned towards me.

"What is it, sir?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't ask me to see an appointment card, which would have needed a more complicated lie in response.

"Good luck with the appointment, I hate going to the dentists," he responded before giving me a smile that reflected his warm, caring personality.

I briefly flickered my lips in a weak smile in response, while my eyes stared ahead as an ice cold resolve took hold of me, and quickly walked out of the room.

I made my way out of the school via the back entrance, to avoid the possibility of bumping into an over efficient senior teacher who would have insisted on me having documentary proof of an appointment before letting me leave.

"Where you going brov?" shouted the familiar voice of Alison, my sister.

I looked round to see her and two of her male friends hiding in a some thick trees on the edge of the school grounds. They had obviously bunked off a lesson to have a smoke.

I ignored her and made for the school gate nearby.

"Come and have one with us," my sister shouted.

I looked across to where she was sitting on the knee of Philip, one of her on and off boyfriends. He was slowly caressing her stockinged leg as she blew out smoke rings.

"You're a total bitch," I shouted back at my sister.

She smiled and made cat like movements with her free hand.

"Oh, come and scratch my eyes out then, Jenny!" she yelled back, using my female name," didn't you like the video then, Philip and Paul thought it was great, didn't you guys?"

The two boys laughed loudly and unpleasantly.

I ignored her again and hurried towards the exit, trying to suppress the tears.

"Guess what, brov?" she shouted.

I looked back towards her. She was holding up her cell phone. She waved it towards me and then pressed something. She turned it towards me and the moving light on the screen indicated that she was running a video. I could faintly make out the music from the night before.

"I got another video of you and Eddie, want to see it? You look so hot," she shouted, just as I was about to leave the school premises.

"Suit yourself then, I'm going to put this one on youtube too. You like the title 'perv brother snogs his boyfriend?" she yelled.

I gave her the finger behind my back and carried on walking. I could hear the sound of their laughter as I made my way through the streets of the housing estate that surrounded the school.

This time I didn't do anything to suppress my tears. By the time I had reached the local shopping centre, nearby, my cheeks were covered with little rivulets of dampness. I kept on walking, avoiding any eye contact and ignoring the looks of concern from some fellow pedestrians.

Soon I had left the commercial area of the town and was walking along empty pavements with busy offices and factories on either side of the street.

My resolve deepened as I eventually neared my destination. I had been a tiring walk and I was grateful of the prospect for a rest.

The sun was high in the sky as I sat on the edge of the mainly disused quay. The former industrial glory of the port had long disappeared leaving many derelict areas.

The destruction and decay of my surroundings matched my dark mood. The overwhelming atmosphere of industrial death pervaded my soul as I looked down at the dirty dock water below beckoning me. Offering me the escape I sought.