by Ceri
Stevie started her blog to discreetly share her secret identity with the world, never guessing just how successful it would be.
Frank liked a short nap after Sunday dinner, it set him up for his shift, and helped his digest system recover from the assault of his wife’s cooking; not that Maureen was a bad cook — far from it — but she seemed intent on making up for all the meals he had missed during his service. Always careful of his spouse’s opinion, and all too aware of the sacrifices she had made, Frank burrowed his way through the food she piled upon his plate. The old soldier was just nodding off when she called from downstairs, “Frank, your Miss Weston has updated her page!”
Sunday 13th April 2008
What a fantastic week it’s been! Thinking about coming to work as Stevie frightened me immensely, but everyone has been so supportive, so helpful, that I’ll never get around to thanking you all enough. Thanks too to everyone who’ve been sending emails, to the ‘Stevie Say Yes’ group on Facebook, whoever started the petition on the uk.gov site to have me legally declared female if I stay being Stevie and all of you that have signed it. Thank you ever so much.
I’m afraid I still haven’t decided yet. Someone was very unpleasant to me in work this week, and I don’t know if I could bear that treatment all the time. There are still a few important people I haven’t told about me yet, who I cannot make a decision without talking to. I’m a bit of a wuss I suppose, but I’m dreading that conversation.
Thanks everybody, and take care.
“She’s a lovely girl isn’t she?” Maureen took a bite of cake, “look at her sitting in that little red sports car - gorgeous legs too — you should invite her round for tea when Colin’s home on leave.”
“Given up on grandchildren have you?” Frank shot her a wry grin.
“We’ve three other boys, dear, and none of their girlfriends will make a decent daughter-in-law.”
“You’d best ask him before matchmaking love,” finding out that his youngest son was gay had been a blow Frank never thought he would recover from, but Colin was a fine Marine, and a fine officer too, “she’d look grand on his arm though.” With an artful wink Frank stole the last piece of cake from his wife’s plate, silencing her protest with a wolfish grin.
“C’mon Daisy Duke, the coast is clear,” Penny watched her young friend slip warily from Brenda’s passenger side, “now let’s get this shopping in the fridge, and we’ll call your Mum and Dad.”
“We left all my new clothes in Mitzi,” Stevie’s pout was as perfect as any teenage girl’s, but brightened considerably when Penny promised to go back for them, once the telephone call had been made. Trying not to pay too much attention to the denim clad bottom skipping towards the front door, Penny followed with the groceries bought the day before. She was uncertain that she would prove an effective substitute mother, but ensuring the young brunette eat properly was a start. Hopefully Stevie’s Mum would soon relieve her of the responsibility, a thought so tinged with unexpected regret that Penny almost collided with the girl, who had stopped dead in the open doorway.
“Who the Hell are you, and what have you done to my son?” a vein pulsed visibly at Mrs Weston’s temple; standing only a foot or so inside the door, she tried to slap Penny, who only narrowly avoided being struck by ducking. “Look at him Ted, look what this bitch has done to Steve!”
“Mum, it’s not...” Stevie’s mother was beyond placating, and continued to exhort her husband into some action. Ted Weston kept to the sofa, eyes darting from his raging wife, to the startled stranger, and the slim feminine figure that stood between them. “Dad, tell her...”
“Janet, let them come in, and shut the door, we don’t want half the town listening,” his patient tone went some way to mollifying his wife, who stepped back into the living room.
“Mr and Mrs Weston, this must be...” Stevie’s mother repeated her earlier demand, “sorry, I’m Penny Hawker, a friend of...” Penny paused, how should she refer to Stevie, ‘son’ seemed too incongruent, “a friend from work. You must be wondering what’s been happening.”
Janet was on the verge of releasing another stream of invective, when her husband’s stepped forward to take her arm. "Let the lady speak, Jan, or we’ll never get to the bottom of this.”
“Nobody has done anything to me, I’ve been like this for years,” Stevie moved protectively in front of Penny, “I was just too afraid to tell you!”
“Nonsense!” Janet Weston was working herself back into a fury, “you are normal, this perverted cow has obviously been brainwashing you. Call the police Ted, there must be a law about this sort of thing.”
“If anyone’s calling the police, I’m sure they’d be interested to know just how you got in here.” Penny placed an arm around Stevie, who was noticeably shaken by the threat, “don’t worry, there’s no law like that honey,” Penny whispered in her ear.
“We are guarantors on the lease for this flat, and as such the landlord gave us a key,” Mr Weston began slowly, “I always said you were too young to leave home Steve, perhaps if you moved back...”
“We’d make sure this sicko would never bother you again,” Stevie flinched from what her mother thought was a reassuring smile, “go take those clothes off, and we’ll take you home.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Stevie’s voice was little more than a whisper, “they can’t make me can they?”
“No one can make you go anywhere sweetie,” Penny stroked the young woman’s arm, “maybe if we all sat down, and talked things over...”
“Talk things over?” Janet spat the words like a cobra, “with the woman who’s turned my son into a sissy whore, what’s to say, ‘do you have any more pansy children I can fuck’?” Penny fought to contain her own temper, she could handle the slights directed her way, but how could a parent say such things to their child? She tightened her embrace around Stevie, carefully preparing her words, but it was Stevie’s father who spoke next.
“We’d better go, I don’t think we’re achieving anything here,” he brushed past them to open the front door, “come on Jan, before you do something you’d regret.”
It had taken another ten minutes to drag Mrs Weston from the flat, which she filled with yet more bile and venom. Penny had covered Stevie’s ears to prevent her from hearing the terrible insults her mother was hurling, but she knew that some at least had hit home. When her parents had eventually left, Stevie flopped down onto the sofa, head in her hands.
“She didn’t mean those things,” Penny stroked the young woman’s back, “it was temper talking, she loves you really.”
“Mum was right,” she did not look up, “I’m a freak, and a pervert. Why am I like this? It’s not fair.” Penny watched several sobs wrack Stevie’s body, but there were no tears.
“It’s not fair honey, but it’s not your fault,” Penny patted her knee, almost overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness, “and you’re not a freak, or a pervert; you’re lovely.” Stevie almost launched herself into her friend’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks, and words tumbling from her lips.
“Do you really mean that? Do you?” Penny made encouraging noises while Stevie wept herself out, rubbing her back, and kissing her forehead. Her tear streaked face emerged after fifteen minutes, announcing in a peculiarly detached monotone, “that’s it; I can’t go back can I? Steve’s dead.”
“I think you knew that before,” at last she had accepted the truth, but Penny wished it had come a kinder way, “but it’s not the end of the world; your Mum and Dad love you, they’ll see that soon, I promise.” Just how she could effect that reconciliation troubled her, perhaps Bob Thornwell could intervene; he was a friend of the family, if that still counted for anything.
“Where are you going?” Stevie clung to Penny’s arm.
“I’m just going to the kitchen to make us a cup of something hot, then Missy I’m drawing you a bath. A long soak will do you a power of good.” A week before there had been no one in Penny’s life who really depended on her, no one who was sorry to see her go. It had never been something she regretted, her job had always come first, but now she could not help feeling that a void had been filled, “and then you can find a nightie for me, I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”
Comments
struggled a bit with this episode
I knew the showdown was coming, and it had to be Sunday, but I find it much harder to write these dramatic episodes than the lighter, more humorous ones. Then I'm pretty much like that with real life too :)
Of course it wasn't helped by the new Stone Gods LP, which demands listening to at high volume, frequent breaks to turn it over and some shameless air guitar and throwing shapes all around the living room... hopefully the neighbours didn't see, they've never recovered from witnessing my 'TNT dance'.
LP?
That's a bit 20th Century, isn't it? I didn't even know LPs were still being made! :-)
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Still made for we Luddites
LPs did go out of production for a while in the early nineties, but most major label releases are available on vinyl again... it's better quality than the old days, heavy gauge virgin vinyl that can't be bent like those of the eighties did. I love my hi-fi (I've lavished the money and time on it that most people reserve for their cars), it's a butt ugly collection of black boxes, on top of which sits my turntable like a queen (and I her lady in waiting).
It does surprise people that I still listen to records, last year the geeks in work were comparing storage capacities for music, there were all types of gigs and such being waved about... they asked me, and my answer of 'about fourteen feet' caused some confusion :)
A lot of fuss
Is made over the quality of LPs vs. CDs. When they first came out, the good CDs were breathtaking in their clarity compared to the same album on vinyl; however these days I've read that CD's are being mixed down to MP3 quality, the sound compressed and boosted as badly as any early FM radio station.
I used to buy a select few albums from a company that made their own from the original master tapes, like the ones you mention they were made out of high-quality vinyl, nice and thick like in the older late Sixties, early Seventies LPs. They went out of business some years back, and I wasn't aware of anybody else making them now.
That said, 90% of the music being played is crap (9/10th's of anything is crap), so it doesn't really matter how it is being recorded or played back. And 90% of what is left doesn't need (or deserve) the extra fine reproduction, IMHO.
I used to have a stereo like that, but it has been gathering dust for years. For casual listening I just don't need it, and that's all I have time for anymore.
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
the joy of decks
What I love about vinyl is that you can tune a turntable to personal taste in a way that's just not possible with digital formats... it takes a lot of time, and isn't something you can pick up (no pun intended) straight away, but I love things like that... my darkroom practice is even more arcane.
I can't comment on modern music to any great extent (except that Scouting For Girls should never be allowed to make another record), the only new stuff I buy is from bands like Wolfmother, Stone Gods, Rose Hill Drive, Airbourne - young bands who take their inspiration from old rock bands - 'retro rock' is the new 'trad jazz' :)
I bought a remastered CD compilation of Sinatra's Capitol records from the Fifties, and compared to the original vinyl albums (now too precious to play often) they're dreadful. The old vinyl recordings reproduce a fantastic sound stage where you can pick out the sections of the orchestra, as well as Francis Albert; the remastered CD just clumps everything into the middle - great if your speakers are a few inches apart, but awful when they're six feet apart. It was the most expensive drinks coaster I ever bought :)
Cluttering my workshop/study right now ...
... and for some time is an oak cabinet dad had made to hold his Quad amplifier, tuner and pre-amp; it has a Thorens TD150 turntable. It's mono because the old bugger was deaf in one ear and didn't see the point of stereo. He was obsessed with HiFi since the 30s when it was the esoteric pastime of what we would now call geeks. I'm a solid state person myself even though I cut my electronic teeth on thermionic valves ('tubes' in $) but those KT66s are quite impressive beasts.
I'm afraid rock and pop music does nothing at all for me so my music collection is mostly Schubert, Schumann, and Mahler et al and so-called classical CDs aren't usually dynamically compressed quite so much, if at all. I appreciate the better signal to noise ratio of digital recordings because there's a lot of quiet passages in my music that are spoilt if they aren't.
Digital signal processing is very powerful. It was when I was still working and it must have improved greatly in the last 12 years. Fast fourier transforms rule OK! :)
btw what has this to do with Ceri's serial? lol Thanks for it anyway and I'm delighted you're back in good enough health to continue it.
Geoff
Ceri's serial
"btw what has this to do with Ceri's serial?"
Got people talking, didn't it? ;-)
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Looked on Amazon UK
Edited: Ceri beat me to the response.
Stone Gods, "Silver Spoons and Broken Bones" is available on vinyl as well as CD. The reviews are very positive. So, it's possible that Ceri's reference is accurate.
Didn't doubt her
No reason why she would mislead us. I've never heard of this group, so I can't render an opinion on the quality of their music.
The whole LP/CD/MP3 debate borders on the same fringe level where you have people debating rollover points, tube vs transistor amps, and the whole "oxygen-free" mega-sized cable nonsense. At my age, my hearing is simply not good enough to detect the real differences in the various formats, and I'm not self-deluded enough to think I can hear the imaginary differences.
Most music marketed today, IMHO, doesn't need archival-quality reproduction, so I see no need to pay for it. ;-)
KJT
My original comment was simply intended as a gentle tease, things are slow today and I thought I'd see if anybody was awake. ;-)
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
dodgy analogy coming up
For me buying an album on vinyl is something like buying the hardcover edition of a book when the paperback is also available... the contents are the same, but there's just something so pleasing about a hardcover, even if it's a bit less convenient to read.
As showdowns go...
... it didn't end so badly. At least Stevie not alone and suicidal.
It was a nice chapter, full of venom, vulnerability, and kindness.
And no story can be laughs all the way... we need a good cry to relieve the tension.
Kaleigh
Having only 8 CD players
in the house, having virtually given away my Rega P3/Shure combo when I moved North, and being what most people would refer to as 'older than granny' I don't think there's a contest here. And if an author tells me something, and it sounds plausible, then I'll probably believe it. I do know that vinyl is making a comeback but I don't know how much and for how long.
Back to the story. I'm still trying to work out if Penny wants an instant daughter or a lover. We know from previous that Stevie is a teenager and that Penny is in her thirties so either is still possible.
And I like the story reminder that fathers don't have a monopoly on non-acceptance of transpeople.
Susie
Severe A.D.D.
That's what most of you lot have got. You've presumably just read a most absorbing chapter of this marvellous soap opera in which Stevie's mum blew a gasket and Stevie is on the cusp of a epiphany and what are you doing? You're wittering on about vinyl versus CD!! This is just SOOO BC:-
"Isn't it a lovely day?"
"Superman was born on Krypton."
"The slithy toves did gyre and gimble..."
I love you all,
Joanne
See above
Subject: "Ceri's Serial"
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
At the risk...
of being hoisted on my petard for being on topic (Ceri's excellent soap-serial), this was an excellent chapter and a nice set of cliffhangers, too.
We have Stevie's mom well off the deep end, and Stevie's father acting way too reasonable. Is it to much to hope that he and "uncle Bob" can talk mom of the ledge, or is it better to let her jump?
The Stevie/Penny relationship is warming up, and I am pleased that Ceri is no longer channeling Tern and Ford. Stevie's a girl (quelle surprise), but maybe not ready for Penny's charms?
The little bit about the wonderful Frank thinking about some matchmaking was a really neat twist. Trying to picture Stevie as a gay Marine Officer's wife...hmmm.
Mommy Dearest
JEEZ! How'd I almost miss this chapter?? I started to read #16, and it said something about a row between Penny & Stevie's mom. Well that did not sound familiar at all. I remembered all the stuff about CD and record players, but somehow I missed the story chapter itself .......... What a conflagration! This kind of hysterical refusal to even listen to anything but the gibberish generated inside her own head really hit home for me.
My own mother is 6 years dead and I still don't have much good feelings or kind thoughts about her.
Hell of a thing to admit but it's true. Anyway this was a good chapter. A heavy scene well told...
~~~hugs, Laika
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU