If you see this Susan is having a conversation in French
If you see this Susan is having a conversation in Scots Galeic

I whispered a small thanks to Danu and then felt a warm hand against my cheek. I led Sidhe around to the stables, removed his bridle, and unsaddled him and brushed him down. Made sure he had hay, and then filled my hands with oats which he ate quickly. I hugged his neck and said to him. “I am not sure how much you understand what happened or you don’t, but I am grateful for you.” Then released him, and started to leave the stable. I felt his nose push against my back when I turned toward him he laid his head over my shoulder and gave a soft nicker. “Goodnight Sidhe and thank you.”

I made my way inside. While I was hungry, I opted to just go to bed made my way to my room. When I opened the door I found Seonaid dozing in the chair. I touched her gently on the shoulder “Seonaid you needn’t have waited, I would have managed somehow.”

She blinked and yawned “My lady I am so sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Nonsense, please if I am this late again just go to your bed. It will not be the first time I will have slept fully dressed and I doubt it will be the last.” I replied.

She helped me get ready for bed, before she left, I gave her a hug and said “Thank you for taking such good care of me.” She looked at me with a bright blush to her cheeks and hurriedly left. I got into bed and fell fast asleep and dreamt of goddesses having a tea party.

Life returned to my normal routine although now I had mission, one that actually was at odds against my hosts and my friend wants for the future. Yet knowing the consequences and also knowing what will follow if completed successfully, caused an internal struggle that weighed heavy on my thoughts. I don’t know why but a thought of a line from one my favorite fictional characters from the 2oth century came to mind “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” While it didn’t exactly cover what I was feeling, I set my thoughts for allowing the outcome to be what it should be as it would help much more in the future.

Winter soon settled in and movement outside was severely curtailed for days at a time. I took to roaming Ardsheal during those times. I looked at the paintings of the past lords and ladies of Ardsheal, examined displays of trophies from battles long forgotten, searching storage rooms and in one of the rooms I found a Clàrsach obviously long forgotten. So thick with dust and cobwebs the ornate carvings on it could hardly be seen. When I touched it to pick it up my head was suddenly filled with music I wanted to play, none of which I recognized, but the music was there, I had a thought, and tried to remember songs my parents enjoyed dancing to, they loved going to ceilidhs and listing to the likes of Jimmy Shand. Suddenly I knew strathspeys, reels, and few other more modern tunes.

I went and looked for something to clean it off. After what seemed like hours I had it cleaned. I didn’t recognize the wood it reminded me of maple as far as color but I really had no idea. The pillar was ornately carved with Celtic symbols; the sides and back of the sound box were too. The top of the pin board from the pillar to the sound box as well. The strings were wire and were of a silver color. I took my found treasure to the hall and began to play. Soon Ardsheal was filled with the sound of music. Ogma’s gift filled my head with music. I kept things light to offset the dreariness of winter. I got lost in it, and soon had an audience I was unaware of, their feet were tapping, and hands clapping along with the music, a sense of happiness permeated the room. I don’t know how long I played but when I stopped I was met with applause.

I looked up and blushed, feeling like a child whose hand was caught in the cookie jar. Charles, Isabel, Andrew and Duncan stood before me along with some of the servants their faces stretched with smiles. Andrew said “Lassie you never mentioned you played the clàrsach.” I blushed and replied “I was never asked.” Hoping that would avoid more questions.

I looked at Charles and said to him. “Please forgive me for abusing your hospitality, I found it in a storage room and I just had the need to play it.”
He replied. “Don’t worry Susan, there hasn’t been a bard in this hall for as long as I can remember in fact I have been thinking of retaining a piper, I still might. I don’t even know anything about that clàrsach; I don’t remember ever seeing it before. But the feelings you have brought with your playing, I am just sorry we haven’t had someone here to play before now. Since I know nothing about it, I will give it to you, but you will have to play it again.”

So my daily routine changed in the weeks to follow. Along with my helping Isabel, and when the weather permitted I would ride Sidhe. After we had our supper, I would play the clàrsach until we retired for the night.

As the winter progressed thoughts of Christmas came to my mind, only to find out it was just considered another day. Hogmanay (New Year’s Eve) was for feasting and gift giving and so I rode Sidhe into Kentallen to search for gifts. From the blacksmith I bought ornately made Sgian dubhs (small knives used as an eating utensil) for Charles, Andrew, Iain, and Duncan. From the seamstress in the village I found a beautiful tartan airsaid (long heavy woolen cloak usually worn belted) for Isabel. She also had a small assortment of jewelry so I bought a small gold chain for Seonaid. I also bought a length of dark green wool in order to make a blanket for Sidhe. Dagda’s gift came in handy
.
So Hogmanay came with much feasting and dancing courtesy of me and my clasarch. Gifts were exchanged and were much appreciated although Seonaid was much surprised and thankful for my small gift. I received a beautiful silver brooch from Charles and Isabel and from Andrew a necklace of woven gold and silver.

Winter slowly gave way to spring and Charles soon learned that a French ship would be making an illicit stop in Oban and would send a man to make arrangements to sail into Loch Linnhe to pick up Andrew. Knowing I must go too. I approached Andrew about going. “Andrew would you object if I wish go to France with you?” I asked. He seemed surprised at my question. “Are you sure this is what you want? If and when we get there I will be busy, I am not objecting I would enjoy your company, But you would basically be on your own for much of the time I am concerned it might not be a suitable atmosphere for you lassie.”

He made a point, but it was moot. I had to go I didn’t have a choice “Yes, I am sure. I would like to go.” I replied. He sighed. “Well I will go and speak to Charles, but this is your idea not mine.”

The idea was met with resistance, but I insisted. Although Isabel thought I was being quite foolish and wouldn’t speak to me for a few days. I opted to travel lightly I would leave my clàrsach behind, but purchased some stays from the seamstress in the village that I could manage on my own. I also decided to leave my wardrobe behind as well figuring I could get what I needed in France. My biggest regret was leaving Sidhe.

One night near the end of May as expected, a ship sailed into Loch Linnhe and flashed a light toward the shore it was answered by one from shore. I hugged Sidhe and whispered to him I would be back. I said my goodbyes to Isabel and Seonaid with many tears exchanged and made my way to the shore. We were rowed out to the ship and I was lifted aboard with some sort of swing, Andrew climbed up a ladder. The ship made its way out to sea while I stood on the aft deck watching Ardsheal slowly vanish over the horizon, not knowing I wouldn’t see it again.

I was given the Captain’s cabin which had a bed. He moved into the first mate’s which he shared with Andrew. By daybreak we were out sight of land and on a southerly course. I retired to my cabin and slept soundly. I rose around midday. Went on deck, Andrew wasn’t in sight so I assumed he was sleeping. The ship’s captain was watching over the deck and his crew as I stepped up to the aft deck.

“Bonjour Mademoiselle, did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Bonjour Captain. Oui, I did thank you for asking, may I ask how long before we arrive in France?” I asked.

“I think perhaps if the winds and tides are favorable, two maybe three weeks, maybe longer if we have to avoid the English.” He replied.

It never dawned on me until later I spoke French with no trouble understand what was being said to me.

And so we continued our southward voyage with little change. I learned from Andrew we were headed to Le Havre. By the start of the second week aboard I soon noticed our course had changed and we had started heading in an easterly direction. The Captain warned us we were in waters where there would be a strong English navy presence, pointing to the north saying Plymouth was just over the horizon. The winds were still in our favor and in a couple of days I noticed the winds had changed. Andrew said. “Unless I am mistaken there is a storm brewing up.”

Andrew’s prediction as to the weather came true. The wind rose rapidly, ragged clouds hurried across the sky, and the waves rose up, and by nightfall the sea had become really heavy, dashing high in the air every time the ship plunged into it. Long before this I went down below with the worst case of seasickness I had ever experienced.

Before daybreak, a tremendous sea was running, and the wind blew with terrible force from the north. Although under but a rag of canvas the ship was pressed down gunwale deep, and each wave as it struck her broadside seemed to shove it leeward. Andrew went on deck and made his way aft glanced at the compass, and then took a long look over the foaming water towards where he knew the French coast must lie.

The wind was from the north, and as the clumsy craft was heading nearly east. He realized for every foot the ship went forward it was being pushed a foot leeward he realized, if it has been doing this all night the ship wouldn’t be far from the coast.

The French skipper appeared to think, for a few minutes afterwards he gave orders to bring her about on the other tack. Three times they tried and failed; each time the vessel slowly came up away from the wind, but the heavy waves pushed the ship back the headsails wouldn’t fill. Then the skipper gave orders to maneuver the ship. Her bow turned away from the wind until was nearly astern, two or three great seas struck her stern and buried her bow deeply, but at last the boom swung over and the ship’s bow came up on the other tack. During the course of these maneuvers the ship had been pushed two miles east, and when she was fairly under sail with her bow to the west Andrew took another long look towards the south.

Andrew touched the arm of the skipper and pointed to leeward. The skipper looked in this direction for a minute and then gave the order for more sail to be put on the ship, to try to force it out of the gale. But even when pressed to the utmost it was evident to Andrew that the force of the waves was driving the ship faster towards the coast than she could sail away from it, and he came below and told me to come on deck.

“I would rather lie in bed, Andrew” I said.

“Your full of nonsense, lassie! The wind and spray will soon knock the sickness out of you; and you will want all your wits about you, for it won’t be many hours before we are bumping on the sands, and stoutly built as the craft is she won’t hold together long in such a sea as this.”

“Do you really mean it, Andrew, or are you only trying to get me on deck?”

“I mean it, lassie. We are drifting fast upon the French coast, and there is no hope of it changing course in such a gale as this.”

The news stirred me enough. I had not suffered at all on the voyage down from Ardsheal, and I was already beginning to feel better when Andrew came down to call me. I was soon on deck holding on to the bulwark. “There it is, that long low black line; it looks a long way off because the air is full of spray and the coast is low, but it’s not more than three or four miles; look at that broad belt of foam.” Andrew shouted at me.

For some hours the French skipper did his best to turn to the leeward, but it was in vain, the ship drew nearer and nearer towards the shore; the anchors were got in readiness, and when within a quarter of a mile of the line of breakers, the ship’s bow was brought up into the wind, and the lashings of the two anchors cut simultaneously.

“Will they manage, Andrew?” I asked.

“Not a chance of it, lassie, of course the captain is right to try; but no ropes were ever made would hold such a rounded craft as this in such storm.”

The ship’s lines ran out until the ship’s anchors bit. Just as they tightened a great wave rolled in on the bow. Two dull thuds were heard, and then the ship’s bow slackened off. The ship’s jib sail was run up instantly to help her turn, and under this sail the brig was headed directly towards the shore. The waves were breaking round us now; but the ship was almost flat bottomed and drew little water. All of us on board hung on to the rigging and bulwarks, momentarily expecting a crash, but she drove on through the surf until within a hundred yards of the shore. Then the ship went down in the trough of a wave there was a mighty crash. The next wave swept it forward the full length of the ship.

Then there was another crash even louder than the first, and then the masts simultaneously went over the side. The next wave moved the ship but a few feet; the one which followed, finding the ship immovable, piled itself higher over the ship, and swept in a flood down the sloping deck. The stern had swung round after the first shot, and the ship now lay broadside to the waves. The ship was at such an angle that it was impossible to stand on the deck; but the captain managed to get on the upper rail, and although frequently almost washed off, managed to cut the rigging and ropes that still attached the masts to the ship there.

Then he joined us and the crew, who were standing chest high in the water on the lee side, the floating masts were pulled in until within a few yards of the vessel, and such of the crew as could swim made towards them. The skipper cut the last rope that bound them, and then plunged in and joined his men and us. The distance was little over fifty yards to the shore, and the wreck formed a partial shelter.

A crowd of people were assembled at the edge of the beach with ropes in readiness to give any assistance in their power. Andrew and I were among those who had swum to the masts, but when within a short distance of the shore, Andrew shouted my ear “Swim off, lassie, the masts might crush us.”

As soon as they neared the shore a number of ropes were thrown. Most of the sailors, seeing the danger of being crushed, followed the example of Andrew, and left the masts. Andrew and I swam just outside the point where the waves broke until a line fell in the water close to us.
“Give it a twist round your arm,” Andrew shouted, “or the backwash will tear you from it.”

The wet wool of my clothes started slowing me down as I reached for the line I felt the weight pulling me under I just didn’t have the strength to fight to keep myself afloat and I started to panic and let go of the rope and sunk beneath the waves I felt strong arms wrap around me then a sudden jerk pulled me through the water.

The sailors on shore watched their opportunity, and the instant a wave passed beneath us, ran up the beach at full speed with the rope. A few seconds later I was lying at full length upon the sand, and before the next wave reached us a dozen men had rushed down and seized me and Andrew, and carried us beyond its influence. For a minute or two I felt too bruised and out of breath to move.

Then I heard Andrew’s voice “Are you hurt Susan, are you still with me?”

“Yes; I am I think, but a bit bruised Andrew,” I replied, making an effort to sit up. “Are you?”

“No, lassie; bruised as well, but no worse.”

One by one the sailors were brought ashore, one with both legs broken from the force with which he was dashed down by the surf, and one man who stuck to the mast was crushed to death as it was rolled over and over on to the shore. The captain and the rest of the sailors were, like Andrew and me, unhurt.

We found out that the spot where the ship had struck was half a mile west of Bretteville. We were taken to the town, and were hospitably entertained. There was a small body of soldiers were quartered there, and the officer in command on learning from Andrew that he and myself were passengers, and were Scots making their way to escape imprisonment as friends of the Stuarts, and that Andrew had for five years served in one of the Scottish regiments of Louis, and was now bound for Paris, the officer said that we were free to continue our journey.

It was two or three days before we started, for we found out the next morning that we were both too severely bruised to set out at once on the journey. As Andrew had taken care to keep a purse containing money given to him by Charles securely fastened to a belt under his clothes we had no lack of funds; but as time was no object we headed for Paris on foot.

Good weather had set in after the storm. It was now the middle of June 1744 all nature was bright and cheerful, as was the dresses of the peasant girls, the style of architecture was so different to that to which I had grown accustomed to in Scotland and everything else was also new and strange to me. As Andrew spoke French fluently and with my gifts from the Aos-Sidhe we had no problems on the way. I greatly enjoyed the journey.

We arrived at Chateau de Saint-Germaine en-Laye by the third day. As he had a room assigned Andrew went to find someone who could find one for me. He left me in the great hall. And while I must have looked like something the cat dragged in. I made myself comfortable while trying to be obscure Most of people were men dressed mostly in coats, vests knee breeches and hose. Some were tartan but most were ornate as if dressed for court, or wool of a solid color. I could hear a lot of English being spoken some Scots and French. There was even a smattering of what I thought might have been Italian.

Suddenly I heard a voice “Susan, Susan!” I looked and there was this tall older man rushing over to me although, he appeared to be doing so with great difficulty. “Is it you? No it cannot be! Can it be so? It is I William your brother!”

I stood up, slightly embarrassed by my disheveled appearance. “Sir I believe you have mistaken me for someone else. Grant you my name is Susan. Susan Gordon. But I have no brother named William. I am sorry I am not your Susan, for you seem to miss her greatly.”

He gave a sad smile “I should apologize for my behavior, it is just you look so much like her. Then introductions are in order. I am William Murray.”

“William Murray, Marquis of Tullibardine?” I curtsied. “Please forgive my manners my lord.”

“Nonsense, please no formalities. Susan.” He said. “But how is it you know of me? May I ask?”

“My friend, Andrew Stewart of Appin, he mentioned you.” I replied.

“Andrew? He has returned?” He asked.

“Yes. We just arrived this morning; and he is off searching for someone to find a room for me.” I replied.

“He should have come and seen me first, I know of rooms that aren’t in use. Come with me.” Then he offered me his arm. “Once you are settled I will send someone to find him, and let him know where you are.”

He led me from the hall into this beautiful cobblestoned courtyard. “Beautiful isn’t it? He asked.

“It is very much so, my lord.” I replied and meant every word it was stunning. I was reminded of Venice by the style of architecture.

“Please now none of that my lord nonsense Susan. I insist you call me William”

He pointed out part of the chateau to the north “That is called the Wing of the King and the Young Prince’s chambers and mine and a few others are located there. The south side is called the Wing of the Children of France, you will find Andrew’s room there but mind you there are many supporters here so finding where he is exactly may take some work. Although many are of minor rank we have tried to make them comfortable. We are all here for the rightful king. And should you need it the chapel is there as well.” We continued across the courtyard. This is the Wing of the Queen as he opened the door. Then he led me in.

“Now I must ask your forgiveness, and allow me to rest a moment. I suffer from the gout and a wound I obtained in the ’15 and both take much out of me.” While waiting on William to recover from the walk. I looked at William, Tall and fair haired He was well built but was obviously losing his form to age. He probably was handsome, but he appeared much older than he probably was. It was obvious he has spent a lot of time away from Scotland his speech held an accent I would almost say it sounded Italian.

“Thank you for your patience Susan.” He said after about ten minutes. Then led me to the left and then up a circular staircase. “This one of the oldest parts of the Chateau, so smaller staircases I am afraid to say.” When we arrived at the next level he then directed me to another stairwell. Upon reaching the third level we then headed to the right and proceeded down the hallway. “Here we are.” I found us standing in front of a set of double doors, which William proceeded to open. “These are the former chambers of Queen Mary the Young Prince’s grandmother.”

“We could never find anyone willing to take them as you can see they are quite feminine.” And William was right; the room was done in shades of pink and white with a floral pattern to the pink rug, the brocaded rose colored curtains along the far wall. Even the walls had were papered in a pale pink with white flowers the wainscoting was white There was a large white bed with pink brocaded silk bed canopy to the right which could easily sleep four with room left over. Opposite of the bed was a large fireplace with a white marble veined with pink surround and mantle.
The room couldn’t be any more feminine.

He motioned to the doors on either side of the bed “One, is your dressing room; the other is for your clothing.” He continued “The ones on the left, is for your toilette pointing to the furthest one, and this one is rooms for your maids.” He made his way across the room and sat down a white brocaded silk wingback chair, obviously needing to rest again.

I opened the curtains wider long the wall and found three sets of windowed doors that opened onto a terrace that looked out over a large vast plain that seemed to stretch for miles. I opened the doors to the terrace and a refreshing breeze blew into the room.

“Oh William this room is beautiful.” I said. Although personally I thought it was a little too ornate and much more than I needed. But as they say one should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

William got up from the chair stiffly and with much effort and spoke. “Now then I will go to let you rest and find Andrew and let him know where you are. I will ask though do you have a maid and is she accompanying your wardrobe?”

“No William, I have neither maid nor wardrobe. In fact all I have is what you see.”

“Well then I will have to remedy that, or make sure Andrew will. Although the prince is in Rome and more than likely will be until further notice, and the king wishes to stay in Rome. We do have to keep up appearances of being a court; despite Louis’ disdain for us. Now I will leave you to rest should you wish to secure your rooms there is a key in one of these tables.” He gestured towards a couple of tables near the doors to the room. “Oh you and Andrew will sup with me tonight in my chambers. Please mention that to him.” He bowed and sadly said “It is amazing how much you look like my sister Susan when I last saw her.” and left closing the door behind him.

So my life at Chateau de Saint-Germaine-en-Laye began and I was beginning to feel very much like Alice and her trip down the rabbit hole, expecting the Cheshire cat to appear in any moment.

Some notes: I struggled with the clàrsach mainly due to the fact what is considered one today really didn’t start appearing until the early 18th century In fact by the time that the story takes place the clàrsach had practically disappeared from Scottish culture being replaced by the bagpipes which starting showing up in the mid to late 1500’s. Although the clàrsach had been known and used from at least around the 9th century. So I decided to use a version that was known in the 1500’s. You can see one and hear it here. My other problem was my shipwreck I hope I got things right. I know nothing about sailing and what happens with wind changes etc. I skimmed Moby Dick, along with Horatio Hornblower, the Master and Commander series and even Robinson Crusoe to get the right idea. If you see some glaring errors please let me know. If you have questions don’t hesitate to ask. Thank you all for reading.