Chapter 1 — The Escape

I was as nervous as hell. My uncle sat behind his big desk in his home office, which was really his man cave, looking at me with a frown. The thing was, no matter how nervous I was, I was also determined.

I didn't consider my uncle as evil, just greedy and inconsiderate. My deal appealed to his greed as the carrot with the threat of court action as the stick.

“I don't know where you get this foolish notion that I am wasting your inheritance and you shouldn't threaten me.”

“I'm not threatening anything, I am merely explaining what I am going to do. My parent's inheritance has gone from over half a million to under ninety thousand in two years, but that is not the issue. As I have told you numerous times, Lilly is constantly being bullied and harassed. She needs someone who is willing to put her first.” I nearly said what I meant, which was someone who cares about her, but I had learnt diplomacy with my loss of strength. “You have a wife and children, now that I am eighteen, there is no need for you to put up with us any longer.” Again what I meant was treat us like your servants and try to get us to thank you for it.

“What about Lilly's half of the inheritance?” he asked with a glint in his eye.

He never did any of the housework or cooking, even before we had arrived on the scene, so losing our labour meant very little to him. Losing our money, on the other hand, mattered very much, even with me offering him most of my half immediately.

“You will still have control of that until she is eighteen. How you justify spending it when she is no longer living with you, I will leave to your discretion,” I answered, seeing no point in pretending like he was.

My deal was simple, I would give him all of my inheritance less ten thousand if he signed over custody of my sister to me or I would spend all of my inheritance attempting the same thing through the courts. If I did that, even if I didn't win, I would air all the dirty laundry and I didn't think he would risk it. Of course, it wasn't quite that simple. I couldn't take Lilly without being able to care for her. I had to ensure I had a place to stay in a different school zone and a steady income. In fact, I intended to move back to California where I had arranged both of those things.

“I will need to speak to my lawyer. I think I will require an NDA,” he replied thoughtfully.

There was no way that he was going to allow me to tarnish his name with the truth, but I knew that already. I passed him all the documents that my lawyer had already prepared which included that I would not reveal this deal.

“You should find this sufficient,” I said. “By all means contact your lawyer. Of course, he would then know your character, so maybe you'll just read these yourself and sign them. Up to you. Tomorrow I would like to either phone my lawyer to start proceedings or tell him his services are no longer required.”

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” he asked, adding an extra twist.

“My intention was to pack up my stuff tonight and leave tomorrow with Lilly and those signed papers. Are you kicking me out tonight?” I asked him. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.

“I don't see how you can stay here with how you feel,” he answered with an evil grin.

“Then I can't give you until tomorrow. I will give you an hour to sign the papers while Lilly and I pack our bags. I can't give you any longer than that and still be able to contact my lawyer,” I told him, standing up as a way of telling him the conversation is over. He didn't try to stop me or say anything to make me think there was any purpose in staying.

I moved to the bedroom I shared with Lilly, finding Lilly packing her stuff into the luggage I had bought.

“How did it go?”

I sighed. “He's reading through the papers now. I think he will go for it as it gives him immediate easy money. As an added bonus, I can't stay here tonight. Because of that and that I don't want to leave you here without me, I've given him an hour to decide before I call Stephen.” Stephen was the lawyer that Mike had helped me find. Mike was my saviour with his wife Mary. Family friends that knew the true meaning of friend. My whole plan hinged on their help.

“Does that mean we could be out of this hellhole tonight?”

“Careful,” I reminded Lilly, looking at the smoke alarm that had been fitted, which I was sure was also a listening device. Too many times the 'private' things we had said had come back to haunt us.

She shrugged unrepentantly. “You've revealed your hand, I don't think it matters what we say anymore.”

“We'll see within the hour,” I said as I started packing my case. Most of my clothes were going to be useless to me, so I binned them and concentrated on everything that I couldn't replace. I hadn't expected to need to leave tonight, but I was expecting to leave so everything was ready, and I was finished in half an hour. I spent the next half an hour organizing an uber and the cheapest, closest motel I could find.

I was grateful for my laptop even as its very presence irritated me. When I had told my Uncle Jim that I needed a new laptop, we went to the apple store and chose the most expensive model, and we bought two of them. I thought, one for me and one for Lilly. I knew he was going to use the money from our trust, but at least I would benefit from it this time. But I was being naïve, when we returned to his home, I refused to consider it mine, he gave the purchases to his sons, Tom and Andrew, and we received their old laptops.

At the end of the hour, I brought our suitcases down the stairs to the front door and knocked on my uncle's door.

“Come in.”

I entered with a shuttered expression on my face.

He looked me over. “I don't think you will go through with it,” he said eventually. “You're a weak eunuch, with no skills and literally no balls. You can't look after yourself, let alone someone else.”

I pulled out my phone with a sigh. Hard way it was then. I started dialling Stephen.

“Wait,” uncle Jim interrupted me.

I cancelled the call and looked at my uncle with raised eyebrows. I think I was presenting a strong front, but inside I was trembling.

“If I sign this, you can't come crawling back here. Lilly will be your responsibility and considering how ungrateful you both have been she will not be welcome to return.”

I just nodded, pretending to be bored.

He signed the papers, I then signed and took my copy. I thought about saying something, but in the end, it just wasn't worth it.

“Lilly. Shake the dust off your shoes, we're leaving.”

Lilly literally stamped her feet on the doormat, and we both walked out, heads held high, to wait by the curb for the uber to arrive. I phoned Stephen to tell him that Jim had signed. Stephen was actually a pretty clever lawyer. He had worded it deliberately so that we could still take action against my uncle at some time in the future. I had documented every injustice in my journal and nothing that I had signed said that someone else couldn't read it. I had written it as a google document, saved to my google drive. I knew that my laptop was periodically searched and I certainly didn't trust anything I left in my room. I had signed to say that I would never mention the bribe that I had offered my uncle, but even without mentioning it, his actions looked very suspicious.

I knew uncle Jim's lawyer was a friend of his, so I doubted that he would be willing to have the papers checked over and my gamble had paid off. Not that I could foresee an opportunity to challenge my uncle, but I wanted the option, just in case.

Chapter 2 — The Plan

Once we had settled into the motel, I used the laptop and the free Wi-Fi to book flights to LA for tomorrow, then an uber to pick us up and take us to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Then I phoned Mike with the good news. He agreed to meet us at the airport.

Now I had to explain everything to Lilly. Because we couldn't talk in our room, school was essentially a battleground for both of us and our cousins were very nosey, I had not had the privacy to explain what I had been planning.

She knew the basics that I had been planning for years. I was a Reiki practitioner and Mike was hiring me to work in his multi-disciplinary clinic for three days a week and I would work the other days freelance with a portable table. Mike was lending me his old car so that I could treat people in their homes, as needed. We would be staying in the above garage den that they had originally built for their son before he got married and moved out.

However, Lilly had dropped a bombshell on me when she admitted three weeks ago that at the tender age of fifteen, she was pregnant. My uncle and aunt didn't know, and we didn't want them to find out. I had always intended to leave at eighteen if I wasn't kicked out, and take Lilly with me. Originally, I was just going to threaten court action or even go through with it, if necessary. With this new situation, I decided to put the bribe up to make it more likely that uncle Jim would give in without a fight. It had worked but left us with less seed money.

What happened was understandable, and I was kicking myself for not being more perceptive.

Lilly had arrived here months before I did because my recovery from the accident took significantly longer. All was going relatively well and Lilly was quite popular. Partially from being the new girl and partially because she developed early and was naturally pretty without being stuck up in any way. Then I arrived and for a reason that I can only put down to spite, my cousins outed the damage that I had suffered through. My bullying started from that point and I tried to get Lilly to distance herself from me, but she refused.

She argued that if she was my reason for living then she would be my most loyal supporter ever; she would never betray me, even when I asked her too. When I woke up after the accident and felt that my life was over, it was only her presence that kept me going. It devastated me to see her become ostracized just because she insisted on defending me. At the same time, it made me proud of her character.

Lilly wasn't physically bullied like me, but sometimes words hurt more than bruises and after two years of that, she was very susceptible to seduction from an experienced sixteen-year-old boy. He put a lot of pressure on her, and she was disappointed in herself that she caved. She thought he loved her, but when she wanted to slow things down, he broke it off and trash talked her.

I knew about the relationship and comforted her as much as possible, I just didn't know that he took her virginity and did so unprotected. We are very close, and I was upset that she hadn't confided in me until she found out that she was pregnant, but she was too ashamed.

Now she was three months pregnant, having made the decision to keep the baby. She had come to the conclusion that she couldn't bring herself to have an abortion although she didn't feel she was old enough to be a responsible mother, so wanted to give the baby up for adoption after birth. That decision was also breaking her heart.

I didn't want Lilly to become known as a teenage mother in our new location or I feared she would be targeted again, so I had modified my plans.

“You know I would do anything for you, right?” I asked her.

We were now in a double bed together, lying on our sides, facing each other. About a year ago I had started wearing a T-shirt as well as my boxers to bed. Tonight might be the last time I do that. Lilly was in a long sleep T-shirt with flowers on it.

“You don't have to you know. I know you love me, but you don't have to make any sacrifices for me. This was entirely my fault.”

“Parents make sacrifices for their children all the time,” I commented.

“You are not my parent.”

I pointed vaguely to the small table that I had put the important documents on. “I have a piece of paper that begs to differ.” I shook my hands to quiet the next objection. “This is not about sacrifice. I have decided on a new plan, but I believe that it will make both of us happier in the end. Not a sacrifice, just a different direction.”

She looked at me unconvinced.

“Honestly, if I could take away any of your pain and all it would take was a sacrifice on my part. Yes, I would do it, but what is ahead of you is not something I can change. I hope my plan will make life a little easier for you, but at the same time it is not costing me anything, just choosing my direction for me.”

“You've mentioned direction twice now,” she said, frowning.

“That is at the heart of it. Alright,” I said, moving off the bed and standing up. “Look at me. Do I look more male or female?”

During the accident where we lost our parents, I suffered from a crushed pelvis, had lost my testicles and all I had left of my penis was a small nubbin that was mainly scar tissue, and they had rerouted my urethra to just below it. I had also lost part of my intestines which meant I lost significant weight and struggled to put any on. Most of my muscle disappeared and I became very skinny with a widened pelvis. Thin arms, thin legs, even a narrow graceful neck.

Once my weight had settled down I should have been put on testosterone, but since I was still healthy, my uncle would not approve any further medical expense. I think he was upset with the amount that had already been spent to get me upright and moving. The insurance case against the driver of the truck was settled out of court by my uncle for an undisclosed sum.

My body had reacted to over two years without testosterone. I lifted off my T-shirt to show my breasts that were now approaching B cup proportions. For some reason, I guess my body naturally produced relatively high levels of female hormones, or at least high for a male, low to normal for a female. Not that Lilly was completely unaware since the school bullying and name-calling activities showcased my more feminine looks. I think my bottom was bigger as well, but I was frightened to mention that since it was such a female thing to say. I had some facial hair but it was sparse. My nose had never been that big and now with my face softening, I looked more female than male. I hadn't cut my hair, mainly because I didn't care how I looked. Now that may turn out for the best.

“It doesn't matter what you look like, it is what you feel inside,” Lilly responded. “I thought you were going to see a doctor that Mike had lined up and start taking testosterone.”

“That was one direction I could take. Instead, I am going to take another, perhaps more suitable. For myself, I am not sure I would have had the courage, but for you and our future baby, well, that is different.”

I climbed back into bed. Lilly was shaking her head.

“I don't want you to do this for me.”

“Lilly. I would never have been happy as a man. I was never going to put more muscle on. At most, my voice would have deepened, and I would get more facial hair. I will be blunt. When I woke up and found out our parents had died and that all the bits that signified that I was male had been obliterated, I thought my life was over. My very identity, who I thought I was had been taken from me. I was in a lot of pain physically and emotionally and the only thing that kept me going was you. But I am still broken. My intention to take testosterone was only because I thought it would be easier, not because it was the right choice. Taking female hormones is probably the better choice. I want to be able to breastfeed our baby. Alright, enough preamble. Time for the full plan. Are you ready?”

Lilly nodded her head.

“John Abraham Bonde dies tomorrow.” Seeing her eyes widening I realized I had to continue quickly. “No, not literally. I am not going to kill myself. My identity as John dies tomorrow after we have arrived in LA. I am going to change my name to Lilliana Marie Bonde, known as Ana.”

“But that is my name.”

“Exactly. You are going to home study until the baby is born and then you are going to change your name to Lilly whatever you like Bonde or maybe Lilly will be your middle name, you decide. I will formally adopt the baby and the birth certificate will suggest that I am the mother.”

“Oh,” Lilly responded surprised.

“There are a few difficulties that we need to overcome. You and Mary are going to need to help me with girl training. You are going to have to be invisible socially for the next six months. Only very close friends are going to know. At this point it is only Mike and Mary. As you get bigger, I am going to add padding so that I match and it looks like I am pregnant.”

“And will that work?”

“We are not trying to deceive the government, just the general population, so we are doing nothing wrong or illegal. It will be up to us to make it work. You are not going to like being housebound. You won't have to hide away until the pregnancy becomes obvious, so it may only be three months, but it will still feel like a long time.”

Lilly reached across and hugged me. “You will make a wonderful woman, you have the loving heart down pat.” Then she hugged me tighter and started crying.