I had just started on dinner after a long day at work when Tommy came running into the kitchen with tears and snot running down his face again. “Tommy, what happened?” I asked as I knelt down to lift his five year old body to my breast. Of course, I already had a pretty good idea what was wrong. It was what was wrong way too often.

“Jack was pulling on tiger’s tale an’ tiger bit him an’ I laughed”. Jack is my sister-in-laws seven year old son. They lived across the street from us. Jack was my idea about what was wrong even if the explanation didn’t make sense yet.

“So why are you crying if Jack is the one who got bitten?” I asked.

“ He got mad ‘cause I laughed an’ he hit me in the nose and an’ he kicked me in the belly”

“ Honey, I’m sorry he hurt you again. Let me get a tissue and clean you up; then you can have a cookie, O.K. “

“O.K. Mom. Do we any fudge stripes?”

As I cleaned up my boy and got his cookie I was thinking that this had gone on long enough. George would have to talk to his sister and make it clear that she can’t just keep saying “boys will be boys” and ignore Jack’s bullying.

“Mom”, Tommy interrupted my thoughts, “I don’t want to be a boy any more.” My first thought was that if this was Jack's fault, I’m going to kill that brat. I knew better, of course. If Tommy was transgendered it had nothing to do with bullying. But mothers are not always logical. Then my education and training kicked in. As a pediatric nurse I had a little training but no experience in this area. I mentally floundered for a reaction. I wanted to be supportive without endorsing the idea too strongly. I was pretty sure what he meant but Tommy’s logic could be confusing at times.

“Do you think you are girl?” I asked.

“I’m a boy. You know that.”

Why don’t you want to be a boy?” I asked. It looked like this would be one of his forty question conversations.

“Cause Jack beats me up all the time” he answered.

“So you think he would stop hitting you if you were a girl?” Maybe, I thought he isn’t transgendered, just tired of getting hurt.

“No, Jack hits girls too. He hits Suzy and Jean." I was informed.

Now he had me confused, a not entirely unique experience. So I had to ask “
Then why do you want to be a girl?”

“ Ew! I don’t want to be a girl. I want to be a cat like tiger so I can bite Jack too.”