Harry Potter and the Trouble With Neurotypicals: Book Four.
Or, "Autistic Potter and the Goblet of Fire."

Notes: I do not own this. J. K. Rowling does. This is just fan fiction. No money is being made. Not by me, anyway.

There may be a few bits and pieces lifted word-for-word from the canon material. I tried to do that as little as possible, though, but there's a lot more in this one than usual because it was unavoidable. Still, lots of details are changed, so don't skip by familiar parts or you might miss something.

Just as a reminder, so I don't have to shoehorn in descriptions in the text of the story as a reminder, but in this fanfic Harry and Hermione, apart from having Asperger's Syndrome, are both black as well.

'Italicized text between single quotes is almost always Parseltongue.'

Chapter 15: “A Sirius Yuletide”

The next day was still at school because the teachers knew that expecting kids to be out past midnight the night before leaving for home on the train was asking too much, so the train wouldn't be coming to get them until the 23rd. This didn't preclude the possibility of parents or guardians coming to get their kids early, though, so by the end of the day about a third or more of the students at Hogwarts had been taken home via Floo or side-along apparition. This included Draco and several other of Harry's friends.

Still, there was enough time in the day before that happened that Antigone and Angela came over to the Griffindor table to talk with Harry and Ron. Hermione was still very angry with Ron, of course, but Ron for his part seemed to have taken Harry's words to heart and seemed to be making an effort to be polite and to look contrite about having fought with her and ruined her fun the night before.

Of course, whatever it was, they didn't want to talk about it in the Great Hall, so Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Luna went with them and Danzia to the Room of Requirement.

When the door shut behind them and they were seated in the comfortable fluffy chairs the Room had arranged in a circle around an open fire with some sort of magical, smokeless fire, Harry looked at the two girls, waiting for them to speak.

“So uh, we overheard something last night when we went outside into the rose garden they'd put up around the entrance.”

“What were you doing out there?” Harry asked, confused.

“Going for a walk,” Antigone answered almost before he'd finished asking, her face growing red. “Anyway, not important. What's important is we overheard Hagrid and Madame Maxime. We tried getting away, but someone was in our way, and the two of them were rather loud. Wouldn't surprise me if everyone knew by Easter, the way the Hogwarts rumor mill works.”

“Wouldn't be surprised if what was known by Easter?” Ron asked.

“Hagrid is half-giant!” Angela exclaimed. “And probably so is Madame Maxime. At least, Hagrid thinks she is. Though she denied it, said she was just 'big boned.'”

“Okay,” Harry said. “And?”

Ron goggled. “'And'? 'AND'?”

He knew immediately, from the look Ron was giving him, that he was once again revealing his ignorance of the wizarding world. Brought up by the Dursleys, there were many things that wizards took for granted that were revelations to Harry, but these surprises had become fewer with each successive year, especially with Wizard Studies being a class now. Now, however, he could tell that most wizards would not have said “And?” upon finding out that one of their friends had a giantess for a mother.

“What's the big deal with giants?” Harry asked.

Ron shook his head disbelievingly. “Well, they’re … they’re …” Ron struggled for words. “… not very nice,” he finished lamely.

“Who cares?” Harry said. “There’s nothing wrong with Hagrid!”

“I know there isn’t, but... blimey, no wonder he keeps it quiet,” Ron said, shaking his head. “I always thought he’d got in the way of a bad Engorgement Charm when he was a kid or something. Didn’t like to mention it.”

Antigone snorted. “I don't think that would have that effect, Ron. But I think most wizards would try to explain it away like that. They tend to do the same thing about Flitwick, though that's more on the order of nobody wanting to mention he's part Goblin.”

“Flitwick is part Goblin?” Harry asked. “How does that work?”

“Well, Harry,” Ron said sarcastically, “when a daddy Goblin and a mommy human love each other very much---”

“Har har,” Harry said. “I mean they're different species! They shouldn't be able to breed together. It should be impossible.”

“Oh Harry,” Luna said serenely, “I've explained before. They're from a fairy world. The fairies came into our world and bred with humans. The human-looking ones made wizards and witches.”

Ron snorted. “Fairies aren't big enough or smart enough to do that.”

“The creatures wizards commonly refer falsely to as 'fairies' are in fact nixies,” Luna said. “'Fairy' is a more general term, referring to beings from another world, one parallel to ours and more magical than our own. They crossed over to our world through the mists, or the veil between the worlds if you prefer that term, though that's a much more modern term. Fairies come in a myriad of species, and beings like the Goblins are fairies just as much as nixies, centaurs, and merpeople are.”

“I don't normally agree with the things Luna says,” Hermione said, “but as mad as that sounds, I've been doing some thinking about it since she told me about it over the summer, and it makes a lot of sense to me now. I don't know if it's true or not, as I don't have any evidence either way, but it's logical, so I decided not to just dismiss it anymore, which was my first instinct. Though I still maintain Luna is purely human, and not a Fairy. Or no more than any witch or wizard is, anyway.”

Ron sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Hermione, Luna... humans can breed with Goblins and Giants because of magic. It's no more complicated than that. It's not... not people from another world, it's just magic. The only world involved in it is Earth.”

“Wait, setting aside the genetics of interspecies breeding,” Harry said, “Giants are what, 20 to 30 feet tall? And humans normally don't go much taller than 6 or 7 feet tall, right? So how does that work? I mean, from a logistical standpoint. The nitty gritty of it, I mean.”

Antigone shook her head. “Trust me Harry, I don't want to know, and I doubt you really want to know either if you think about it.”

Hermione coughed nervously and looked away from everyone.

“Anyway, none of that is important,” Ron said. “All that's important is that it's possible, it happens sometimes. And it's bad.”

“But what’s it matter if his mother was a giantess?” said Harry.

“Well, no one who knows him will care, ’cos they’ll know he’s not dangerous,” said Ron slowly. “But Harry, they’re just vicious, giants. It’s in their natures, they’re like trolls. They just like killing, everyone knows that. There aren’t any left in Britain now, though.”

Hermione snorted. “That sounds like the sort of racist propaganda that people use against Muggles and werewolves. If that were true, how would there be any humans left? They're huge! They'd have trampled or eaten us all by now if that were true.”

“Yeah, and you could say the same thing of humans, and probably be right,” Harry said.

“Well it's not difficult for humans to set traps for them, even Muggles could do it. And wizards have a lot more options. Plus, well... they were dying out anyway because they keep killing each other, they fight amongst themselves so much. Then loads got themselves killed by Aurors, they were working with You-Know-Who. There’re supposed to be giants abroad, though. They hide out in mountains, mostly.”

“I don’t know who Maxime thinks she’s kidding,” Harry said. “If Hagrid’s half-giant, she definitely is. Big bones indeed. The only thing that’s got bigger bones than her is a dinosaur.”

Ron looked confused. “What's a dinosaur?”

“Ancient extinct animals from millions of years ago. Like dragons, but they probably didn't breathe fire. Though given that magic is real, maybe they did,” Harry said. “It's not like we could know for sure, all that's left of them is bones so old they've turned into rock.”

Ron rolled his eyes like it was Luna speaking, not Harry.

“Harry's right, Ron,” Hermione said. “It's called fossilization. If the body ends up in the right kind of environment, the flesh rots but the bones slowly get their calcium replaced with other minerals and basically turn to bone-shaped rock. Muggle scientists have known this for a long time. At least a century, I think.”

“Have you ever seen those bog mummies they sometimes find in peat bogs?” Antigone asked Ron.

“Oh yeah, I think I've seen some of those. What about them?”

“Fossilization is a similar process to that. I think.”

Harry turned to Antigone. “Hey, if Hagrid's part Giant and Flitwick is part Goblin, what do you reckon Madam Hooch has in her ancestry? Because those eyes of hers aren't natural for humans.”

Luna answered him, saying, “Probably some recessive Fairy blood making itself known. Some of the Fair Folk have eyes like that.”

Antigone shrugged. “Luna's guess is as good as mine.”

Harry looked at Luna, and suddenly realized that the kind of eyes Luna, her father, and Mr. Ollivander had weren't normal human eyes either. Either Luna was right about humans being party fairy, or magic just made more kinds of traits possible.

~

Harry ended up being one of the people who got taken home by a loved one, when Sirius and Remus came to pick him up and take Harry back to Grimmauld Place via Floo. They had Indian takeout that night, and in the morning Dobby made them a full English breakfast. They ate heartily until it was time to go to Diagon Alley for Christmas shopping. Though Harry was a practitioner of the Old Ways now and preferred Yule, he had no problem with Christmas if it was going to happen with a loving family.

He was a little sad to leave Mouse-Stalker at the house, but snakes don't like the cold, and it was rather cold outside at the end of December, even this much farther south than Hogwarts. So he left Mouse-Stalker under a heat lamp while Sirius and Remus took him out shopping.

Diagon Alley was packed with people, so many it was hard to move around. Sirius having anticipated this, Harry had his earmuffs and sunglasses on. He knew he probably looked absurd wearing sunglasses in the dreary London gray of winter, but he didn't mind. Besides, he was hard to see sandwiched between a protective Sirius and Remus.

If they'd been Muggles, the amount of stuff they had to buy would have added to their difficulties, but whenever they had bought more than they could carry, Sirius called Dobby to take it home for them. A house elf in public would have caught enough eyes already, but Dobby stood out even more than normal house elves because he was wearing a bright orange Muggle children's winter coat, a fat woolen hat with a pattern of dancing elves that Hermione had apparently knitted for him and animated with a charm, large plastic safety goggles over his huge tennis-ball shaped eyes to keep the cold and dry wind from drying them out, and yellow galoshes made for toddlers with a cartoon of a line of raincoat-wearing ducks on each boot.

“Hey, Dobby, you actually match for once,” Harry said. “Your boots are the same, I mean.”

Dobby looked down at the boots with an annoyed expression before looking back up. “Yes, Harry Potter sir. Mister Sirius Black is getting them for Dobby. Dobby is telling him he is making a mistake getting two the same, sir, but Sirius is saying he is not knowing that. Still, Dobby is thankful, sirs. They is keeping Dobby's feet dry. And Dobby is having properly mixed up socks, sirs.”

Dobby pulled off one boot, showing them a sock Dobby had knitted himself with what he said was Harry's face on the side (but looked more like a misshapen coconut), then he switched and showed them the other sock, which was rainbow striped. Harry thought Dobby could take fashion tips from Luna. Or the other way around. Both of them certainly knew how to attract attention. Of course, Harry couldn't really talk much; he and Sirius were both wearing Muggle attire, instead of the standard robes.

This was made even more apparent when he ran into Luna at Diagon Alley, outside the Magical Menagerie. She was wearing a thick poncho in neon yellow and neon pink, her own boots were rainbow striped, and she was wearing a baby-blue stovepipe hat with a silk band around it. Her father was almost normal compared to her, as he was wearing fuchsia robes and a canary-yellow cloak.

“Why hello, Harry. Fancy meeting you here,” Luna said dreamily.

“Hi, Luna. Hi Mr. Lovegood. You Christmas shopping too?”

“Yes, we just started. When we were in Gringotts, I got distracted speaking Gobbledygook with one of the Goblins. He was telling me that my accent wasn't half bad for a human, and I was getting tips for improving it from him. He was a very nice older Goblin gentleman named Urvek.”

“You speak Gobbledygook?” Harry asked in astonishment. “Your dad knows the House Elf language, and you know Gobbledygook?”

“Oh yes. I also know Elvish, Daddy taught me. I've been trying to learn Mermish as well, but it's a bit more challenging. I know a few phrases in it so far, but not any more than that yet.”

“I should be fascinated to hear a 13 year old speaking Mermish,” Remus said. “Care to demonstrate for us?”

“Of course I don't mind,” she said. She cleared her throat a little, then traffic froze to a standstill as everyone stopped to cover their ears at the horrible screechy wailing that came from her mouth. The owls and other animals screeched and hollered in response to this racket. Luckily, all the noise was over quickly, as whatever Luna said was brief, and the grumbling masses hurried away before it could start up again.

“I hear,” Remus said. “Or I did hear, until just then. What did you say?”

“I said... well, it's best translated as 'goodbye, and thanks for all the fish.'”

They talked for another couple minutes about this and that before the Lovegoods went off to go shopping some more. Harry, Remus, and Sirius went in the other direction.

For some reason, Remus and Sirius took him into Ollivander's, even though he had a perfectly good wand. They explained it once they got inside. Remus had thought, given Harry's tendency to get in trouble, that it might be nice to get a custom-made spare wand for him, that would not work for any other witch or wizard. Apparently, this would work by using one of his own hairs for the core, and they'd need to take a small bit of blood to mix into the glue and varnish. Remus would be watching Ollivander and this blood like a hawk with tracking spells on it so it could be found if it was stolen. Then when the wand was made, any remaining blood would be destroyed.

The whole point of this was so the wand would be tuned to Harry precisely, and nobody else would be able to use it. Not even Dumbledore could use a wand crafted in this fashion, unless it was one made with Dumbledore's own hair and blood. This would be a backup wand for Harry in case something happened to his holly wand, or in case his holly wand was stolen.

“If it uses my hair, does that mean it won't set off the Trace?”

“I'm sorry, Mr. Potter,” Ollivander said, “but while yes, that would normally be true, in order to legally be able to sell you this wand, I have to put runes on it that will cause any magic coming from it to register as normal wand magic. So it will, in fact, set off the Trace.”

“Oh. Well that's okay. Having a spare wand sounds like a good idea, especially if nobody can use it against me if it's stolen.”

“Excellent. Shall we get started, Mr. Potter?”

Under Sirius's and Remus's careful eye, Mr. Ollivander used his wand to fill a small vial half-full of Harry's blood. Then one of his hairs was magically grown to a foot long and plucked from his head.

“How much will it be?” Sirius asked.

“I am unsure. It will depend on the kind of wood I need, and other materials. Custom wands of this nature tend to be very picky about the kinds of woods that will work for them. But I would estimate between 300 and 350 galleons.”

“Merlin's pants!” Harry said. “That's an awful lot of money. My first wand was only 7 galleons.”

“Yes, well, the first wand is always subsidized by the Ministry. If it weren't, your first wand would have cost you 50 galleons or more. And custom wands are always much more expensive. I only use certain wand cores for the standard wands: unicorn hair, phoenix feather, or dragon heartstring. Custom wands have a wider range of possible cores and wood types. In fact, just last year I sold a custom wand that was American redwood and hydra heartstring. Actually, with the core taken care of, it should be closer to 300 galleons.”

Remus looked pale at this cost, but Sirius shrugged. “Not a problem, Mr. Ollivander. I have lots of money. I wouldn't mind dropping even 500 galleons on something like this for my godson. I still owe him for twelve missed birthdays and Christmases.”

Harry felt his face grow hot, but he didn't challenge this. He wasn't sure of the exchange rate, but he thought 300 galleons was almost £1000. He wondered if Dudley had ever gotten a single gift that cost £1000 from his parents. It was possible the racing bike cost that much, but--- oh right, the computer. That had to cost at least £1000. Oh well. A computer probably couldn't save your life in a crisis.

“Thank you, Sirius, and you too, Remus.”

“Thank us later, when it's finished and works for you,” Sirius said.

“Okay,” Harry said, hugging them both.

Remus cast the tracking spells and other spells on the vial of blood, and when he was done with that, they took Harry out for the rest of their shopping. It didn't take too long before they had sent the rest of their things home with Dobby. They passed through the Leaky Cauldron and out into Muggle London, taking Sirius's motorbike to get a bite to eat at their favorite pizza place. Remus looked a little odd riding on the back by hanging onto Sirius, Harry in the side car, but they were soon safely there.

“I like your helmet,” Harry said to Remus when they had pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and parked next to another motorbike. Remus's helmet was black with a picture of a howling wolf on the sides.

“Thanks. Sirius's little idea of a joke,” he said with a half-grin.

Sirius ignored this, instead tucking his own helmet under his arm and coming up to Harry with a nervous look on his face.

“Um, Harry? Remus? I uh... I didn't want to spring this on you so quickly, but I guess I get chatty when I get drunk, and she was asking to meet you two, and um... so we won't be alone in there. I kind of agreed to meet her here. Just remember she's a Muggle, I haven't told her about magic yet. We've only been together for like, a few weeks now.”

“Are we going to get to meet the girl whose house you were at that one time?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. I mean... you see, I don't think I'd have agreed to it, but I really like her. It's kind of early to know for sure, I know, but I think I want to tell her about magic. Eventually, I mean. Not tonight.”

“Well, let's meet this woman,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Right. This way.”

When they entered Rubian's, they immediately saw someone sitting in a booth against the far wall, listening to music on a Walkman and playing air guitar to the music. Her skin – the parts not covered in tattoos – was olive in tone, and Harry thought she might be Middle Eastern. Her hair was long and black on one side of her head, but as he saw when she turned to look at them, the other side of her head had hair that was cropped close to her scalp and dyed in a rainbow of colors. Like Harry, she had on glasses, but hers had square-shaped purple rims. Her boots were black combat boots with rainbow shoelaces in them.

She stood up to greet them, pushing her headphones off her head as she did, and he saw she was tall – maybe 175 centimeters. He could see she was not skinny like a Hollywood actress, and was in fact solidly built. But it was also clear, in her sleeveless shirt, that it was mostly muscle. The shirt also made clear all her many tattoos, and looking right at her made clear that she would have had to remove a few pounds of metal from her face and body before she could go through a metal detector. Her nose was pierced, as were her ears and the cartilage of her ears, her nose, her eyebrows, and who knew where else.

She looked significantly younger than Sirius, but Azkaban had permanently aged him so he looked almost 45 even though he was only 35. So they might be the same age, come to think of it. Or close to the same age, anyway.

Hanging on a nearby hook on the wall behind the seat of the booth was a coat Harry was certain belonged to this woman. It was a black leather jacket with sewn-on patches all over it. One had a Nazi swastika that was being crossed out by a red circle with a line through it, there was a patch of a soaring eagle, a skull and crossbones patch, and Harry also noticed a patch on one shoulder of a pentacle.

“Sothis! Wolf-man! And this must be Harry,” she said. “Gimme five, Harry.”

Harry blinked a moment at her upraised hand, then looked at Sirius.

“It's fine, pup. This is Zuzanna.”

Shrugging, Harry 'gave her five' by slapping her hand.

“Cool! Man, we should come up with a cool nickname for you, Harry. How about 'Thor'?”

“Er, why Thor?”

“Cuz of that cool lightning bolt scar on your head, man.”

“Er... maybe sometimes, but I generally prefer 'Harry.'”

“No problem.”

“Pardon,” Remus said, “but did you call me Wolf-man? And what did you call Sirius?”

“Oh I called him Sothis. It's an alternate name for the star he was named after, and I get to avoid all the Sirius/Serious puns that way. And he's told me all about you, Wolf-man. Well, probably not everything, I can tell he's holding some stuff back, but it's cool. Gimme five, Wolf-man!”

Remus, too, gave her a high-five.

“Sweet,” she said, plopping back onto the seat. “So I'm Zuzanna. Zuzanna Tishtrya Nejem. Sothis tells me he already told you how we met.”

Sirius sat next to Zuzanna, and Harry and Remus sat in the booth across the table from them.

“Er, yeah. I called him one night, and he was in your bathroom.”

Zuzanna turned to Sirius and punched him in the arm. “How come you never told me you have a cell phone?”

“It's uh, just for checking up on Harry,” he answered, rubbing his arm.

“Cool. Good to hear you're being a responsible godfather, not letting your time in prison mess you up too bad.” She turned to Harry when he made a noise of confusion. “Sad story, he told me all about it. His best friend and his best friend's wife dead, and him in prison for their murder, til DNA evidence cleared him of the crime. Sad business.”

“Er, yeah. It sure is,” Harry responded.

“But hey, you got back on your feet and you're taking care of their son like they wanted. Good on you.”

“And what did he tell you about me?” Remus asked.

“Remus Lupin, nicknamed Wolf-man on account of the funny name. Said you had some kind of chronic disease, but it's only contagious once a month.” She paused a moment in thought, then said, “HA! If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a werewolf.”

The three wizards chuckled half-heartedly at her joke.

“Well I'm famished. We should order,” said Sirius.

“What were you listening to?” Harry asked Zuzanna.

“Blue Oyster Cult, 'Fire of Unknown Origin.'”

“I don't think I've heard that yet. My aunt and uncle and cousin... you know, I can't even remember any of them listening to music ever. But my aunt and uncle are the kind of people who probably think rock and roll is devil worship music.”

“Eesh, that sucks. I know how that goes, though. My parents are Muslim, immigrants from Palestine. They don't approve of anything at all about my lifestyle. Or they wouldn't, if they knew even half of what I get up to. I haven't spoken to them for 15 years. Disapproving parents, something Sirius and I have in common. Sounds like you've got basically the same deal, Harry.”

“Um, yeah. I guess I do. But I only have to spend a couple weeks at their place in the summer, it's not so bad.”

Harry could tell at once he'd said something wrong by Sirius's pained and frantic expression.

“The government didn't give your godfather full custody? Even with these Dursleys being neglectful and a little abusive?”

“Er,” Sirius said, “we couldn't prove anything. And uh, well it's complicated, the whole thing. But I make sure he's okay when he's there. Anyway, let's order.”

Sirius flagged down a waitress and they ordered drinks and pizza. Harry had a ginger ale. Sirius had a non-alcoholic beer because he'd be driving later. Zuzanna had the same. Remus decided to rub it in Sirius's face a little and ordered a beer.

“So uh, I noticed a pentacle on your jacket. If that er, is your jacket over there,” Harry said.

“Oh yeah, that's mine. I gather by your tone you're wondering if it's just a rock and roll thing, or more than that. And I'll tell you, it's more than that. It's part of why I don't talk to my parents anymore. Islam was never my scene. All that praying three times a day wasn't for me, and bugger if I ever knew for sure which direction Mecca was in. Plus, you know, not a lot of acceptance of bisexual people in Islam. But yeah, I'm a Wiccan. I worship nature and believe in magic. Ha! Bet you think that's pretty silly.”

“Not at all,” Harry said. “Sounds like what I believe, apart from the name.”

“Oh wow, really?”

“Yes, really,” Harry said.

“Sweet. What about you, Sothis?”

Sirius didn't answer right away. “I'm... open minded.”

“Cool. What about Wolf-man?”

“The same,” Remus said, smirking.

“So, how's school, Harry?”

It was a close thing, but Harry managed to not choke on his ginger ale. He swallowed, thinking.

“Good. I'm doing okay in my maths class. Not as well as Hermione or Draco, though. Those two are top of our year in that class. Most classes, actually.”

“You go to some kind of boarding school, right?”

“Yeah. My uh, my parents paid for it before they died.”

“Cool. What's your favorite class?”

Harry took another drink of ginger ale to give himself time to think.

“Um... the, uh... zoology class. Well, it's a class where we learn how to keep and care for, uh, exotic animals.”

“Oh? Are you planning to become a zoo trainer?”

“It's a possibility,” he said, taking another drink of his ginger ale. He realized he'd finished it already.

The waitress walked by then. She spotted his empty cup and he let her get him a refill.

“What do you do for a living anyway, Sothis? You never told me.”

“I didn't? Oh, um...”

Of course, Sirius could say he was working for law enforcement now. But was that a viable option after years of prison in the Muggle world? He had been innocent, after all, but Muggles had different rules for lots of things. What about this? Harry didn't know, and apparently neither did Sirius, because he finally answered, “I'm living off my inheritance for now. My parents didn't agree with my politics or my lifestyle, but they still left me everything after my brother died. Or, well, my father probably did. My mother hated me enough that she wouldn't have left me a single kn--- er, dime, if she'd had her way.”

“No idea what you're gonna do with yourself yet?”

“Well, I don't need a job, strictly speaking. My parents were very wealthy, and now I am too. But I have to have something to do with myself. Just... I don't know what, yet.”

She nodded, and turned to Remus.

“What about you, Wolf-man?”

“I have a job tutoring college students in maths,” Remus said without hesitation. “I took an ad out in the paper, I have a few students so far. Nothing fancy, just algebra and geometry, a little calculus.”

Harry and Sirius were staring at him. He met their stares with looks that told them nothing, and sipped his beer.

The pizza came at last, a huge relief to the three wizards who were tired of trying to think of believable lies about their lives. Soon all four mouths were too full of pizza to talk much.

“Pup, what is that you just put on your pizza?”

“Hot sauce,” Harry said nonchalantly, taking a bite. It burned his mouth in two different ways at once, and he was loving it.

Sirius grabbed the bottle and read the ingredients with wide eyes. Then he tried a little on one finger. After a few seconds of nothing, Sirius started to chug as much of his drink as he could to put out the fire in his mouth. Zuzanna laughed at him and borrowed the hot sauce to add some to her own pizza. Sirius was still panting like his tongue was burning.

After they'd been eating long enough for Harry to be mostly full, Harry asked Zuzanna a question.

“So what are you doing for Yule if you don't talk with your parents?”

She chuckled at that. “Oh, Harry... Harry, Harry, Harry... Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, so my family never did that. It was a bit disappointing asking my parents about Father Christmas and being gently told that there's no such thing, that it's a false doctrine.”

“No Christmas? No Father Christmas? So you didn't get gifts for the holidays?”

“No, my siblings and I never got Christmas presents. We just got birthday presents. Usually something small, modest, and/or practical. I don't know what most Muslims think about birthdays, but my parents... I guess I should be glad we got gifts for birthdays at all, since my parents thought birthdays should be spent in prayer, thanking Allah for bringing us into the world. By the time I was 10, I started to really hate my birthday.”

“Wow. No gifts for Christmas, and not much for birthdays. Well you're still doing better than me. I never got anything from the Dursleys for birthdays or Christmas unless it was meant as a cruel joke.”

“Don't get the wrong idea, Harry,” Zuzanna said. “My parents love their children, even me despite my being a willful apostate, and a 'sexual deviant.' Man, if they knew I was a neopagan as well, they'd flip their sh—lids.”

Harry snorted. “Flip their shlids?”

“Er, yeah. That's what I meant, exactly.”

“What a load of shlid,” Harry said with a grin.

This made all the adults laugh, even Remus, who was shaking his head disapprovingly as well.

“Anyway, so what do you do for the holidays?”

“Well, I usually celebrate Yule by getting drunk, listening to death metal albums, and pigging out on junk food. This year, I was gonna rock out on Yule to this cool new band I found called Marilyn Manson.”

“Marilyn Manson?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, it's this cool new Industrial Metal band. Oh man, I've got to play some of that for you sometime, Sothis. Anyway, Harry, are you trying to invite me to your godfather's place for the holidays? I haven't even seen where he lives, and I'd like to. But, er... maybe not yet?” she said at the look on Sirius's face.

“Don't get the wrong idea, Zuz, I like you, but it's only been a month, and Harry is jumping the gun a bit here.”

“Hey it's fine, you lot can come over to my apartment instead sometime during the holiday. Not Christmas eve or boxing day, but maybe Christmas Eve Eve?”

“Sounds good,” Sirius said. “Sure, we can do that. Your flat is a bit small for four people, but could be a good time.”

“Sweet! I'll make the place presentable tonight.”

“I gotta go pay a penny,” Sirius said, getting up to go to the loo.

“And I'm going to see about getting another beer,” Remus said, getting up as well.

With just Harry and Zuzanna there, Harry thought momentarily that it was very trusting of them to leave him with this woman, but then he noticed Remus could keep an eye on him from where he was at, sitting up at the bar with a mug of beer.

Before Remus could get back, Zuzanna asked Harry, “Is Sirius's place like, a total mess? Or is there some sign remaining of how horrible his parents were?”

Harry didn't like lying to this woman. She believed in magic, she was a Wiccan. Granted, that might mean she would be jealous of them all when she found out magic of the fantasy variety was real and some people could do it, but not her. Still, if any Muggle had the potential to be cool with wizards and witches, it would be one who called herself a witch. Still, it wasn't his secret to tell. And Sirius might have a point; maybe Harry was feeling so happy for Sirius moving on that he was trying to push too hard? Then again, it had been Sirius who had introduced them to this woman after knowing her for not even quite a month.

“Um... well, no. I think he doesn't want to come off as conceited or showing off his wealth. I don't think he's gotten used to the idea of being wealthy, even though he was raised in wealth as a kid. He rejected his family because they were huge bigots and racists, and he didn't want anything to do with them for that. But then his brother died and his parents died, and when he got out of prison he discovered to his surprise that he had inherited everything.

“Heh... in that way, he and I have something in common. Being with the Dursleys was almost as bad as prison, and then I got released – mostly – and found myself rich, having inherited a bunch of money from my parents, that the Dursleys had never known about. My aunt and uncle thought my parents were unemployed. Well I suppose technically they were, but only because they didn't need to work, and they were only like, in their early 20's when they died.”

“Wow,” Zuzanna said. “And you can add me to the list of people you and he have stuff in common with, then. Not just for having shitty families, but well... I wouldn't call my parents wealthy per se, but Dad is a pediatrician, and Mom is the chief nurse at the hospital he works at. So I was pretty well off before I ran off. And they wanted me to marry one of the pediatric surgeons, which is a large part of why I ran away and cut off ties with them. Latif was a nice guy, but I barely knew him and I didn't want to be married to anyone who wanted kids, at the time. Raising someone else's kid as a foster parent or godfather is cool by me, even adopting a kid would be okay by me, but I didn't have any interest in getting pregnant at the time.”

“What about now?”

“Now, I'm open to the idea. But I want love to be there first. My parents' idea of marriage is like selling off a prize cow to be bred – you know, traditional marriage. I want to marry for love, have a baby with someone because we love each other and want to bring a new life into the world, not because it's expected of me.”

“I think Sirius probably feels the same way. He's the last of his family in the male line. But he told me he named me his heir presumptive. I don't think he cares about carrying on the line.”

“Wow, so you stand to inherit money from a second wealthy family when you die?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess. I don't want him to die before me, though. Not that I want to die before him, either. I was hoping we could both live to a ripe old age and die on the same day.”

“Goddess, I probably sound like a gold-digger with all these questions. But of course, if I'd wanted to marry for money, I'd have married that pediatric surgeon. He was wealthier even than my parents, which was, I think, the main reason they wanted me to marry him. That, and he was a friend of my dad.”

Harry nodded. He didn't think she had any idea how much money either of them had, so he wasn't worried about her being a gold-digger. Heck, even Harry didn't know for sure how wealthy he and Sirius were. He knew his trust vault held enough money in it to buy the Dursley's house out from under them, and probably have enough left over to buy a controlling interest in Grunnings, the company his uncle worked for. In fact, the money in that vault could probably do all that three times over or more, and that was just the trust vault.

“Anyway, I hated our house growing up,” Zuzanna said. “Big old thing, and it was just my parents, me, my two younger sisters, and my two older brothers living there. Even with all eight of us living in it, it was big enough to have twice as many people there, and always felt a little haunted. My flat now may be tiny, but it's just the way I like it. Big enough for me to sleep and cook in, and have a few guests over once in a while.”

Sirius came back then, sitting next to Zuzanna.

“Where's Remus?” Harry asked.

“He went to the loo after I was done with it. He'll be back soon. What're you two talking about?”

“Our families,” Zuzanna said.

“Ah.”

“Does Sirius know the things you told me?”

“Oh yeah, he and I have discussed that before. While sober, in fact.”

Remus came back a few minutes later. They talked some more, about this and that, but after another hour, they packed up and went their separate ways. When they got home, Sirius cast a stasis charm on the leftover pizza, and another charm to keep the bugs away. Not that the house had many bugs, with two House Elves cleaning up after it.

“Zuzanna is nice,” Harry said. “I like her.”

“Paws off my woman, Harry,” Sirius said half-jokingly.

Harry laughed. “No, she's all yours.”

“Yes,” Remus said. “Besides, Harry prefers younger women. Oh dear, that came out wrong.”

“Well, it's fair. Luna is younger than me by a year.”

“Yes, but I made it sound like--”

“We know, Moony,” Sirius said. “Don't worry about it.”

“So what were you and Zuzanna talking about?”

“Well, she asked me why Sirius didn't invite her over to his place, and I told her he didn't want to seem like he was flaunting his wealth, which she understood. Then we started talking about our families, and some more about why she cut off contact with her family. Sirius, did you know she doesn't want kids unless she and the person she marries love each other a lot first, and only if they both want to have kids out of love for bringing a new person into the world? She ran away from home at least partly to avoid being married off to have babies like some sort of brood mare.”

Sirius barked with laughter. “HA! We have that in common too, then. My parents wanted me to be a good little pureblood bigot, and to marry some similar pureblood bigot woman I'm related to and have little bigoted, inbred, pureblood babies with her. You know, upholding the family tradition and all.”

Thinking back to some things people had said over the years, and connecting it to something from the conversation earlier, Harry asked, “Sirius? Are you bisexual?”

Sirius somehow managed to choke on his own spit at this question, coughing and wheezing and clutching the wall for support. Remus burst out laughing at his distress, but still managed to interrupt his laughter long enough to point his wand at Sirius and incant, “Anapneo.” Sirius's breathing cleared up at once.

“Thanks, Moony. Harry... why do you ask?”

“Well I was curious if it's true that you and Remus are, well, 'involved' with each other.”

This time Remus was the one coughing and wheezing and needing help from Sirius.

“That, Harry, is really none of your business. But no. Well, 'no' to me and Remus being a couple. We never were. We're just good friends. But I think the rumors about us started because, well, I am in fact bisexual. I had just as many boyfriends in school as girlfriends. And so I guess with all the time we spent together, people started to assume. There was a time the Hogwarts rumor mill had me and... and Peter...” he shuddered “as partners, for the same reason. I think the only reason they never suspected the same of me and James was James being hopelessly smitten with Lily. Plus, I'm pretty certain James was completely heterosexual. But no, I'm not with Remus. I wouldn't cheat on other people, that's wrong no matter one's sexuality.”

“Yes, and I never had any interest in dating myself,” Remus said. “With my condition, I have never wanted to date because anyone I dated, I would feel honor bound to tell them about my condition. If I told them too soon, they would know my secret and might out me in disgust. If I told them too late, the same problem but worse.”

“So you could only date people who already knew. And your friends in school only knew because they were clever enough to figure it out for themselves. Even now.” Harry only knew himself because he had figured it out on his own, after all.

“Well, Peter had to be told by the others,” Remus said. “But yes.”

“So if someone who already knew about your furry problem, and they asked you on a date, would you?”

“It would depend. I think I would prefer to marry a fellow werewolf, someone at no risk of being in any danger from me during the full moon. Well, no mortal danger, anyway. But werewolves are, ironically, not very social. There are some places they live together, entire shanty villages of werewolves, but it's just a loose collection of people forced together by being in the same boat. Sure, you sometimes get people like Fenrir Greyback rousing the rabble among werewolves, but largely werewolves fight each other over shelter, food, clothing, and other amenities. And for myself, I'm not very popular among them. I've had proper schooling, which most of them haven't, and I've managed to hold down jobs for more than a few months at a time, something else they haven't done. So, all told, it's likely a permanent bachelor's life for me, Harry.”

“What if someone who wasn't a werewolf, but knew you were, and knew how to be safe during the full moon... like Sirius, but not him... would you consider it? I don't like the thought of you being lonely all your life.”

Remus smiled. “I don't know. Maybe. I doubt it, though. Wizards and witches tend to fear me when they find out what I am, and a Muggle wouldn't be able to keep themselves safe. Plus, if I dated a Muggle and then revealed magic to them, I'd have to also reveal my condition to them. And though Muggles and Muggle-borns tend to be more accepting of werewolves, it's usually coming from a place of not really understanding how dangerous it is. Only wizards and witches can be werewolves, after all. But the virus doesn't know the difference, the wolf always attacks humans. And Muggles tend to die, since they can't catch the condition.”

“Wait, only witches and wizards can be werewolves?”

“Yes. The condition is a magical virus that forces our magic to transform us once a month into the contagious form of the disease. Muggles don't have the magic for the virus to do that.”

“Oh. Why don't werewolves just... sacrifice their magic, then?”

Remus blinked at him. Then he blinked at Sirius.

“Don't you dare think of doing it, Remus. Let someone else be the test subject for that.”

“But Padfoot, most werewolves don't have the control over their magic they need in order to do that. And even if they did, they'd need wands.”

“Why would they need wands? Couldn't they use ritual magic?”

“It's a moot point, Harry,” Sirius said. “Don't you think if it was that simple, people would have tried it before now?”

Harry laughed once, derisively. “With as much as wizards talk about Muggles being beasts at worse, and wizards being better than them at best. With that kind of attitude, why would werewolves even think about sacrificing their magic? Remus is one of the smartest people we know, and it apparently never occurred to him until I mentioned it. So if it didn't occur to him, why would it occur to anyone born to the culture?”

“Harry has a good point. And think of it, Padfoot; if it works, it'd be a cure for the condition. Werewolves are only contagious when transformed, so a werewolf cured in that manner wouldn't be able to spread the infection. We'd have to monitor them during the full moon in case the virus finds some way around that problem, but I'm sure I could get a volunteer to try it. Harry's right, there might be a ritual an untrained wizard could do, with a little help, that would let them sacrifice their magic. For that matter, what if they could sacrifice their magic in exchange for the ritual using that magic to cleanse the body of the virus just in case?”

Remus had a light of excitement in his eyes Harry had never seen before. Sirius, too, looked like he'd never seen such excitement from Moony before.

“You're saying you'd test this on willing volunteers first before considering it for yourself?”

“Yes, Padfoot! Even if I have to keep my magic and remain a werewolf for the rest of my days to do it, if I could cure the condition in others, it would be worth it. Plus, if I'm correct about how magic is passed on, the werewolves cured by sacrificing their magic could still have wizarding children.”

Sirius's eyes went wide at this. “Oh. Wow. Well... I mean, if you think it might be possible. But Moony, don't put too much of your hopes into this, okay? If you're wrong... I don't want you getting more depressed than usual over this.”

Remus nodded. “I understand. You might be right, someone might have tried it before. But Harry has a point. Wizards have a tendency to overlook the obvious. As Severus would say, most wizards don't have an ounce of logic. Don't look at me like that, Padfoot, he's right. Most wizards accept things as 'magic' all too readily. They don't question what they already 'know.' Hell, most wizards still think the earth is the center of the universe.”

“Okay, okay. Just don't go running off just yet. We've got lots of books about ritual magic here in the house, you can start researching it from here. And you can use Black family funds to buy any books you can't find here or at Hogwarts. I'm sure Dumbledore would let you use the library if it was to try to cure lycanthropy.”

“Thank you, Padfoot. And Harry, thank you as well for giving me this idea. Even if it turns out to be a dead end, having hope for the first time in my life was well worth it.”

Before Harry could respond, Remus ran off upstairs to the Black family library.

“Heh,” Sirius said. “Maybe we should have more Muggle-born and Muggle-raised wizards and witches in the world, if they can have insights like that. It's good to see him hopeful. I just worry how he'll take it if it becomes a dead end.”

Harry nodded. “I get that.”

~

The next afternoon, Sirius took Harry to Zuzanna's flat, Remus staying behind because he was so keen on his new research project.

Zuzanna had been right; her flat was small. There was only just enough room in it for Harry and Sirius and Zuzanna to sit together in the living room drinking soda pop and eating biscuits and other snacks while the TV provided background noise as they sat around talking about this and that. This time, Harry mostly listened while Sirius and Zuzanna talked about rock bands and concerts and what tattoo Sirius should get. Harry was surprised to find Sirius hadn't gotten any tattoos of his own, save for the Azkaban prisoner ID tattoo he'd had removed magically a few months after his release.

“A dragon? Really? I'm not sure about that,” Sirius said, glancing worriedly at Harry.

“I wouldn't mind. I think it'd be cool to get a dragon tattoo myself.”

“You're only 14. Give it three more years, pup.”

“Don't you mean four years?” Zuzanna asked.

“Er, yeah, four. That's what I meant to say. Anyway, Harry, I think a phoenix would suit you more.”

“In that case, I think you should get one of a big black dog, Sirius.”

Zuzanna laughed. “Ha! Guy named after the dog star getting a dog tattoo, that'd be fitting. And black, too, like his last name.”

After a couple hours, Zuzanna turned off the TV and put a CD on into the CD player and started playing her Marilyn Manson CD. Sirius took another CD out of its case by the edges as she had, and was examining it.

“You stared at that thing the last time you were here, too,” she said. “Though you blacked out that night, so I guess you forgot. It's a compact disk.”

“How does it work?”

“The CD player shines a laser at it, and translates the interference pattern into electrical signals, and the signals into music.”

“Lasers? What are lasers?” Sirius asked.

“Wow, huh. I don't know how long lasers have been a thing, but man, I would've thought you'd know that by now. Um... crap, I don't know, man.”

“I do,” Harry said. “It's light that's been reflected a certain way between mirrors and through a crystal in such a way that all the light kind of syncs up to the same wavelength. Another word for a laser is 'coherent light.'”

“Huh?” the two adults said in stereo.

“Um... well, normal light is composed of a bunch of different wavelengths, which show up as different colors. See, light travels in waves, like water in the ocean. Some waves are small, others are large. Others are somewhere in between. Each color's waves are different sizes. But in a laser, they filter out most of the colors and you're left with just one color. Then that color is reflected until it intensifies and... well, it's like normal red light is a herd of buffalo, spread out. But with a laser, the buffalo are made to travel together in a straight line. Only it's light traveling in a straight line, not buffalo. So you can only see a laser when it reflects off stuff, because the light is traveling in the same line, instead of scattering pell-mell like it normally would.”

“Oh. I think I get it, pup. But how does that translate into music?”

“Well, phonograph records have grooves on them, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And the interference pattern of the needle traveling over the grooves becomes something the record player can turn into music, right?”

“Uh huh. Wait, so are you saying there's little grooves these lasers bounce off of, and the depth of the grooves the light bounces off of is what makes the music?”

“Yes.”

“Huh. So a CD player is like a record player that uses light for a needle?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Neat. Glad you explained it the long way, though. If you'd just said what I'd said, I doubt I would have understood.”

“Yeah, that's cool, Harry,” Zuzanna said. “You ever thought about being a teacher? You explain stuff pretty well.”

“Um, no. Not really.”

“Well maybe you should think about it, I think you'd be rad at it.”

“Electricity is pretty cool,” Sirius said. “It's amazing all the things it can do. Power lights, turn light into music, cook stuff with an electric range, and then there's television. Bloody cool, that. Wish I'd had one growing up.”

“You didn't have a TV growing up?” Zuzanna asked.

“Er, no. My parents were, uh, old fashioned.”

“My cousin would probably wither away and die without TV. Honestly, it's about the only thing he ever does with himself, other than bully other kids during the boring daytime TV shows.”

“I take it you didn't fall into the same trap?” Zuzanna asked.

“No, but only because my aunt and uncle didn't let me watch TV. I only got to see it if I was doing chores in a room while one was on. I did a lot of reading, instead, when I could find the time.”

“Yeesh, your so-called family sound worse every time you talk about them.”

“Eh, well, it could've been worse. At least they didn't beat me. Well, my cousin Dudley would if he could catch me, but he's always been out of shape, and I've always been too fast for him. Though sometimes he had a moment of intelligence and ambushed me with the help of his friends. But it's okay now. They're all too afraid of Sirius now to dare mistreat me. I guess they didn't quite grasp the concept that Sirius was innocent, they still think of him as a dangerous murderer who escaped prison before he was exonerated.”

Zuzanna looked like something had clicked in her brain, and she looked more closely at Sirius's face. After a moment, her eyes widened in shock.

“That was you? The escaped prisoner on the news? You look totally different! I didn't recognize you until now.”

“Prison didn't agree with me.”

“Wow. But you broke out, and they didn't give you more prison time?”

“Er, I think they were so contrite when they figured out I was innocent that they decided to forgive me that transgression.”

“Well that's odd. But I guess you being rich might've had something to do with that.”

“Could be. If so, they never said.”

“So, what'd you break out for, anyway?”

“I saw Peter – the actual murderer – on a newspaper clipping with the family of one of Harry's friends. I knew he was a danger to Harry. I was the only one who knew he was the real murderer. I had to protect Harry.”

“But wouldn't he have had, like, 12 years in which to hurt Harry?”

“Yes, but he was working for another man, who uh, fled the country 12 years ago and hasn't been seen since. But we know he's still out there, so if he ever returned, Peter would kidnap Harry and turn him over to his master. His master thought Peter betrayed him – it's complicated – but Peter bringing him the last child of the family he hated would go a long way towards repairing that broken trust.”

“Woah, that's like the plot of a suspense novel or something. Your lives are far more... interesting... than mine. That must suck.”

“Yeah, it does,” Harry said.

“So this Hogwarts, which incidentally I've never heard of, is it like, some elite school for the children of wealthy people with like, bodyguards and high security?”

Sirius grinned. “Yes, that's a good description of it.”

“Well that would explain why it's so low-profile. Hide your kids out somewhere nobody's ever heard of, beef up security around them, must be pretty safe.”

Harry snorted.

“Am I wrong?”

“Oh, it's just... the man who's after me went to Hogwarts, too. He doesn't have as much power now as he did when he was in this country, but he still manages to make attempts on my life now and then. He knows where Hogwarts is, and how to sneak in. Though he has to try a new tactic every time.”

“Sheeet. How many times has he tried to get you?”

“Er... well, only twice, but we think he's trying a third time this year. We just don't have any proof.”

“Damn. That sucks. Well I hope he fails miserably. And I hope he gets run over by a lorry and dies.”

Harry and Sirius both snorted with laughter at this. “Amen,” they said in stereo.

“This bad dude, he isn't trying to go after you too, is he, Sothis?”

“Not so far. But Peter escaped, so he might want revenge on me for outing him as the real killer. Though he knows I could always best him in a fight. The only thing he's got on me is I never did figure out how he uh, how he got away from me when I tried to make a citizen's arrest of him.”

Harry nodded. He thought he knew what Sirius was hinting at; Sirius didn't know what curse Pettigrew had used to blow apart the street to make his getaway. Neither did Harry, for that matter.

“It's weird I never heard about any of this when it was happening. Come to think of it, the news never said which prison you escaped from.”

“They didn't?” Sirius asked, sounding mildly nervous.

“Nope. I remember thinking it was weird. You could've been anywhere in the UK, you'd think they'd want to narrow it down for people. But I suppose if you'd nabbed a car, you could have gone anywhere in the UK.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“By the way, what are the names of those bad guys you mentioned? I want to know in case I ever run into them, so I don't trust them.”

“Er... Peter Pettigrew and uh...”

“Tom Marvolo Riddle,” Harry supplied.

“'Marvolo'? What kind of a name is 'Marvolo'?”

“What kind of a name is 'Tishtrya'?” Sirius countered with a grin.

“Ha! Fair point.”

“So Zuz, how much did that CD player set you back?” Sirius said, changing the subject. He kept changing the subject, too, every time the subject came back to the Tom Riddle business. Harry didn't press his luck; this was a minefield of a topic, and they'd been lucky to get through it relatively unscathed.

~

Later, when they got home, Sirius turned to Harry.

“I don't know how I got sucked into that, but that was kind of dangerous. Now she knows enough to get suspicious. Best case scenario, she thinks we're making up a tall tale. Worse case scenario, she keeps asking questions until one of us slips up and then we'd have to Obliviate her.”

“Why? She believes in magic. Sure, she doesn't know how real magic is, but she believes in it. She could take it well.”

“I barely know her! And if she figures it out or thinks we're lying before... well, before something, I don't know how to say it... if she has to be Obliviated, she might have to be made to forget me entirely! And that would... I don't think I could stand the pain of that.”

“That's just it, we're not lying. Leaving some things out, yes, but nothing really important.”

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. “Harry, Harry, Harry... you're just too honest for your own good.”

“I know how to lie. I lie when it's necessary. But I have a feeling about her. We could tell her, she'd be cool with it. Anyway, you two seem to know each other pretty well. And you two have lots in common. I know it's only been about a month, but I'm telling you, I have a good feeling about her. And I can tell you two like each other. Why else would you have gone along as far as you did with our version of the truth?”

“Ugh... I dunno, pup. I'm just so worried. I didn't want to date at all... twelve years in Azkaban, I'm lucky to have my sanity still. I still have nightmares sometimes, about that place. And I'm severely out of practice on the whole dating thing. And she had a good point, our lives are kind of dangerous.”

“Yes, but would she be at any more risk than any other Muggle for knowing us? Before Voldemort returns or after – Goddess forbid, either way I doubt she'd be at any more risk than other Muggles. And you're training to be an Auror, Sirius! She'd be safer with you than ignorant in the Muggle world.”

“I don't know about that, Harry. There's a lot of Muggles, and not so many wizards. Power in numbers, and all that.”

“But you like her. And I think she likes you. Sure, it might not be love yet, but... well, relationships need honesty. She'll probably understand the need for secrecy, but if you really like her... if she figures out enough to be suspicious, I think you could tell her and she'd understand and maybe even be cool with it.”

“I'll think about it, pup. If things go well enough over the next several months, I'll think about it. After all, we might realize we're not really compatible, or don't have the right kind of feelings, and end up as friends instead of partners.”

“I guess. But Sirius, even if you and her end up as 'just' friends... if Voldemort returns, you should tell her anyway. If he comes back, she needs to know she's in danger.”

“But that Statute of Secrecy--”

“I'm not saying we should tell every Muggle in the country about it, just her. Whether lovers or friends, if you're close to her, she'll need to know.”

Sirius sighed. “Alright, pup. If he comes back, I'll tell her. Assuming we're still together in some capacity at the time, that is.”

“Good. Glad that's settled.”

Smiling at Sirius, Harry went upstairs to get a book to read.

~

Harry's first real Christmas with Sirius was a blast. After returning from Zuzanna's flat, he and Dobby began to decorate the house for the holiday, Sirius grumbling occasionally that he couldn't believe he'd left it so late. But by Christmas Eve, the whole house was festooned with tinsel, holly, wreaths, a huge Christmas tree in the drawing room, fairy lights, and other decorations. Sirius was so happy while doing this that he and Dobby started singing Christmas carols, and Sirius had taken to wearing a Father Christmas hat and beard around the house. In the Christmas spirit, Sirius even dressed Dobby in a Christmas Elf outfit, which both amused and confused the elf. Harry thought it was hilarious. He showed Luna in the two-way mirror and she cooed over him, saying Dobby was adorable in his elf outfit. This made Dobby blush and grin.

On Christmas Day, there was a hefty haul of presents under the tree. Sirius had even put a few things up for Harry that were clearly from 'Father Christmas.' Harry's stocking – big enough to hold both Dobby and Kreacher inside it – was stuffed with fresh fruit, Honeyduke's chocolates and other treats Harry liked, wizard crackers, and a candy cane so big Dobby could have used it to hold himself up if it had been a real cane. 'Father Christmas' also left Harry several phonograph records from groups he already liked and a few he hadn't heard yet, a binder for holding Chocolate Frog cards in, and – despite not being in Quidditch – a practice snitch “to practice your hand-eye coordination.”

From Sirius under his own name, Harry got a ring that one could tap out an emergency message on to send to the other ring, which Sirius had. The ring also went invisible when it was put on, and was supposedly undetectable. Sirius also gave him an old letter and photo of himself and his mum from before his parents' deaths. The letter mentioned that Bertha Bagshot claimed Dumbledore had been friends with Grindelwald in his youth, which sounded barmy.

Antigone, too, sent Harry some vinyl records. Somehow, none of them were the same as the ones 'Father Christmas' had gotten him. From Danzia he got a ring that had an outside part that spun when he made it do so with his fingers. Harry liked his neat new fidget ring.

Hermione had gone practical and gotten Harry a protective ink bottle holder that kept ink bottles from breaking, and contained any mess if they did somehow break. Harry smiled and opened one from Draco, which was also practical – mud repelling, self-cleaning boots. From Ron and Hagrid, he got a bunch of boxes of sweets from Honeydukes. There was also, of course, Mrs. Weasley’s usual package, including a new sweater (green, with a picture of a dragon on it — Harry supposed Charlie had told her all about the First Task), and a large quantity of homemade mince pies.

His gift from Luna, however, was slightly embarrassing. She'd gotten him a necklace that was part of a pair. Once the necklace bonded to him, it started to beat in sync with Luna's heartbeat, and according to the note with it, hers would beat in sync with his heart. Sirius prodded gentle, cooing fun at him about it off and on for the rest of the week.

It was a lot of fun watching Sirius and Remus open their own gifts. Sirius had gotten Remus a magical artifact that produced a sound said to soothe transformed werewolves. And from Harry, Remus got a transformation care package: indestructible toys to chew on in werewolf form, some meat snacks to eat rather than biting himself, some dried sow's ears to chew on if he wanted something a little less hard-wearing, and a laser pointer imported from America, where they'd apparently figured out how to shield such things from being damaged by magic.

“What's this for?” Remus asked, about the laser pointer.

“So Sirius can shine it around the inside of your cage through the bars, see if werewolves go as crazy about them as cats do,” Harry said with a grin.

“I see. Well, Sirius, you'll have to let me know how that goes when you try it next week.”

“Your turn, Sirius!”

Sirius opened the box from Harry, and tore off the paper, Harry grinning like a loon the whole time. Inside was a book.

“'The Wizard's Guide to Dating Muggles' by Quentin Pidd. HA! Nice one, Harry.” Sirius hugged him.

Sirius and Remus both got mince pies and Weasley sweaters from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, which Harry was glad to see. Harry called Dobby into the room when the other gifts were all opened, and handed Dobby a gift. It was a mismatched pair of socks, one being red and white striped like a candy cane, the other being green and white striped. Sirius also gave Dobby a gift, another pair of child-sized boots with cartoon pictures of cats on them so Dobby could mix them up like he liked. Dobby was over the moon about his gift, and hugged both Harry and Sirius, tears of joy in his eyes.

After presents were all opened, they whiled away the hours with their new gifts while Dobby and Kreacher prepared a big Christmas meal. Sure, there were only three humans to serve in the house now, but if they made a lot, there would be leftovers for the rest of the week, and Luna was going to be coming over the next day.

An hour after lunch, an owl Harry recognized was brought in by Dobby from the owlery. He recognized it because it was a tawny owl he'd bought for Ron for Christmas. He took the owl from Dobby, gave it some leftover ham from lunch, and took the letter from its leg.

Dear Harry,

Thanks loads for the owl! And thanks for letting me know Sirius is sure it's not an animagus. I've named him Liat. Ginny tried to name him first, but I covered her mouth in the nick of time. God only knows what she'd have come up with!

Things are okay here. Percy is shut up in his room again, still obsessed with work. At least he's too busy to bug us about whatever it is he's working on. Good thing, too! If I'd had to listen to another rant about cauldron bottoms over Christmas break, I'd have shoved him into a cauldron and slammed a heavy iron lid on it!

Seriously, Percy tried doing some of his work at the dinner table this morning, ignoring Mum telling him to put it away. It wasn't until Fred spilled oatmeal on his parchments that Percy finally agreed and put his things away for the rest of the meal, once he'd Vanished the oatmeal off it, of course. He's worse than Hermione ever was, it isn't healthy.

Mum asked me about the Yule Ball. I tried not answering, but that just made her more suspicious, so I told her I went with Tracey Davis. I tried being evasive about her being a Slytherin, but that got out too. Mum is persistent. Then the weirdest thing happened: she asked me if Tracey had a good time! Didn't act suspicious of her, didn't ask what side of the war her family was on, none of it. I asked her why she didn't do any of that, and she said that after she'd gotten to know Antigone and Danzia, she trusted my judgment. But uh, she did sort of chew me out when I explained what happened. Said I shouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way of being a gentleman, and that a gentleman makes sure his date has a good time.

Mum and Dad told us all last night that they'd finalized the talks with Mr. Dreyfuss, and he was going ahead with making a few sales models of Mum's clock to see how much interest he could drum up. He did make some predictions based on other market sales and interviewing people about stuff that was related. He says if things go to plan, he predicts we'll get our first cut of the profits by June or July! Mum said she just about fainted when she saw the amount he was predicting we'd get, said it was more money than she'd had in her whole life!

Anyway, thanks again for the gifts, Harry. Hope you like yours, too. See you when term starts again, if I don't see you sooner.

Yuletide greetings,

Ron

Half an hour later, he had a letter from Luna, carried by Writing Desk, her raven. While Harry read the letter, Writing Desk played with some of the tinsel the room was decorated with.

Dear Harry,

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for the lovely gift you sent me. Dobby had some difficulty getting it here, I think elves usually transport trunks in pairs. Daddy was rather astonished by it, wondering what you got me that was so large. For once, he had no idea what it could be until I finally unwrapped it. I don't want to know how much a trunk like that cost, but it had to be a lot.

Harry smiled. He had gotten her a very expensive trunk with multiple compartments and multiple keys. It had been enchanted with a runic spell called Adamant Aura, which was a close equivalent to a very expensive Goblin-made metal called Adamant, which was indestructible. It was even said that the sword of Godric Griffindor had been Adamant. Luna's new trunk wasn't as good, but it was still the best wizards could do on their own. He was glad she liked it. Harry read on:

Did you like your gift from me? I think you did, I felt your heartbeat in my necklace before noon on Christmas day. I don't know if I told you before or not, but you can take it in the shower with you, though even if you take it off, it will keep beating as long as your heart does, unless yours were to get destroyed, Fair Folk forbid.

Daddy and I are going to spend the rest of today at our house, but he says I can visit tomorrow. I have your Floo address. If it is okay with you and Sirius, I will come over at 10 am tomorrow and head home by 5 pm. I look forward to seeing you.

By the way: Merry Christmas, or Happy Yule, whichever you prefer this year. May your day be merry and bright!

Love,
Luna

Harry smiled and looked up from the letter to see Writing Desk wearing a string of tinsel like a feather boa and strutting around the bed like a king, if kings hopped around rather than walking. Hedwig was watching him warily, but Harry thought she was amused by the raven all the same. Mouse-Stalker was watching, too, from his terrarium under the heat lamp. He, too, felt amused.

Half an hour later, Harry had his return letter for Luna tied to Writing Desk's leg. Hedwig glared at him for this until he gave her the job of taking his letter to Ron, including his thank-you note for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. She hooted her forgiveness at him and playfully nipped at his fingers before flying off.

It was shaping up to be the best Christmas ever.

Endnote: Sorry it's been so long between updates, but between the original story I'm working on and the coming of summer, I've not had as much time or inclination to write fanfic as usual. The summer heat turns my brain dumb and melty.

Introduced Zuzanna a little earlier than intended. Oh well. It's funny. :) The 'possible cure for lycanthropy' thing was unplanned as well.