Leah is having problems adjusting, but then she meets someone unexpected. Will this meeting help or hurt? Leah's adventures continue.

I want to thank Maggie Finson and all the other authors for creating the Whateley Universe. This story is Fan-fiction and may not conform to Canon rules or timelines. I am only playing in their sandbox. I also want to thank Connected and my wife for all the editing work put in to turn my scratchings into a readable story.

Please note that all of the categories checked do not apply to all chapters. I appreciate all the encouraging comments and Kudos.

Sorry for the delay, but I warned you that I wouldn't be able to post as often. I will post future chapters as soon as I can.

Monday
November 26th, 2007
Leah’s Bedroom

Leah stood in her room looking over the meager selection of clothes she had that would fit her new form. There wasn’t much. Grandma, Eve, and Beth had gone to Westown Mall that morning to get a few clothes for her to tide her over until they got to Cincinnati to do some of Grandma’s “power-shopping.” However, appropriate selections for a six-foot tall fourteen-year old female with a figure like hers were limited in Knoxville, at best. Mom and dad weren’t taking any chances with her going out in public where someone might recognize who (or what) she was.

Eve and Beth sat on her bed, ready to coach her as she dressed in girl’s clothes for real for the first time. Leah noted that Eve was wearing a skirt and blouse combo, and demurely had her legs folded under her. Beth on the other hand was in jeans and a tee, and sat on her heels.

Leah’s figure was now a 36-22-34 with C-cup breasts. She had an inseam of 38 inches with beautiful, well-toned, slender legs and ankles. Her feet looked very petite for her height. Her skin color was a soft golden tan, suggesting she had spent days in the sun. In short, if her breasts were a couple of cup sizes larger and she dyed her hair, she could give a passable imitation of being a living Barbie doll.

She still was changing internally. Before leaving the hospital, the doctor ran tests. Her face flushed with embarrassment and she trembled slightly as she recalled the exposed feeling of her feet spread in the stirrups (which she thought were only for horses). The feeling of the attempted penetration by the speculum was unpleasant to say the least. It reminded her a little of the feeling of having a prostate exam as Lee, but much more personal for some reason. There was nothing sexual about it.

As it turned out though, the exam was cut somewhat short when the doctor discovered that her internal plumbing was not yet complete. Her vaginal canal ended shortly below the surface.

Ultra-sound showed that other of her female organs, still had a little way to go before they would be complete. The doctor, estimated, based on the current rate of change, she would probably be complete within a week to ten days. She hoped that the remaining abdominal cramping would finally end then. She also hoped there wouldn’t be any more changes to her size and shape, so they could finally get her clothes that fit for more than a day or two.

The shopping team had managed to find her several silk bra and panty sets, mostly in cream and white at that bastion of femininity, Victoria’s Secret. Leah was still trying to get her head around the fact that they belonged to her. As Lee, he would not have considered even entering that store. The loss of man creds would have been too extreme. Now she was wearing something from there.

Leah still felt a little voyeuristic even looking at the bras. She didn’t even want to think about the feelings running her finger over their sleek smoothness had evoked after she put them on. What was worse were the thoughts that crept into her head unbidden about having a boy run his hands over them (and the soft sensitive flesh they contained), while she was wearing them (Jim maybe?). A shudder (or was it a shiver) ran down her spine at those thoughts.

In addition, to the underwear - which she had been informed should be called lingerie - they had bought her a cotton shirt which they called a peasant blouse. She tried it on first and sort of liked the free and easy way it felt, although the low cut of the neck made her feel as though she was on display. They also bought her a couple of sweaters, one they said was a scoop neck (same problem as the peasant blouse), and one that was a v-neck, which wasn’t quite as bad, but was very snuggly form fitting.

All the tops were either white, cream, or ecru. The sneakers would have been alright, if it weren’t for the pink trim and the cream or pink shortie socks, they had bought to go with them. At least they hadn’t bought her any heels!

The real problem was her legs. They had bought her jeans, a pair of crisp capri linen pants, and two skirts. Leah was not ready to go out in skirts, but the problem was that neither of the pants fit.

“Just try one of the skirts,” Eve suggested gently. “They’re really not so bad.”

Leah grimaced and reached for the longest one, a beige one. Eve called it an asymmetric A-line skirt and it came almost to her knees at least on one side. She was disturbed to see that it showed a lot of golden skin on her other leg. Once she put it on, she started toward the bathroom.

“No, no. You can’t wear that blouse with that skirt.” Eve said.

“Oh, yeah, she can.” Beth piped up. “Everybody is doing it these days.”

“It just doesn’t work for someone who looks like Leah though.” Eve said with all the confidence of a teenage girl just becoming fashion conscious. “That’s an asymmetric type skirt, right?” Her voice taking on the same tone as her teacher’s at school, when they were explaining something they thought she should already know.

Leah just looked bewildered.

“Trust me, it is. An asymmetrical skirt has an uneven hemline with one side hanging slightly to significantly higher than the other.” she explained. “You wear them if you want to show off your legs without feeling too exposed.

“The important point is that it is a loose type skirt. Now with a loose-fitting skirt, you need a fitted top like one of those sweaters. I would go with the scoop neck. They’re really in right now with the girls in my class.” She said in a knowing way. “The V-neck is OK, but kinda formal and old ladyish. If it were summer, you could get away with a fitted tee and light cover-up sweater, but it’s not.

“Now that other skirt is called a pencil skirt. It is more closely fitted. With it you could wear the looser top like that peasant blouse. You don’t have to worry about color matching yet. We made sure that everything we bought would go with each other and would all look fantastic with your hair, eyes, and skin. If you wear a tight top, you wear a loose bottom, and vice-versa. See?”

“Nooo! I don’t see. Can’t I just get a bunch of jeans and t-shirts and wear them?”

Eve heaved a deep breath, “You could do that, but looking like you do, I don’t think the tomboy look is going to work for you. Oh, you can wear them just to knock around your room and dorm, and when it’s cold. Also, with the fitted look of most girls’ tee’s, your ‘girls’…she giggled… “ are naturally going to attract a lot of attention. Think about the boys at school who just love to watch the girls in their tight jeans walking away from them. You’ll probably get just as much attention in jeans and a tee as you will in a skirt, if not more. With most tee’s, you’re going to want to wear a light sweater anyway, or you’re going to be cold all the time. Girl’s clothes are made of thinner material than boy’s.”

“Haven’t you ever watched the girls at school in their tight jeans?” Beth cut in.

“Yeah, but I don’t want ‘tight’ jeans.” Leah was feeling very beleaguered. She also was thinking about all the occasions Lee had watched a girl in a nice, tight pair of jeans walking down the hall and what he was thinking then. She could feel her face starting to color, as she realized she was going to be on the other end of that equation.

“Tough! Girl’s jeans only come in three types. Baggy, which trust me is not really a good look for anyone. The other two types are tight like those, or sprayed on. Besides, haven’t you read the dress code for that school, you’re going to?” Eve stood with her hands on her hips looking like their mother did when explaining something she thought should be obvious.

“I-it ha-has a dress code?” Leah answered in a shaky voice.

“Yep. A uniform, — skirt, blouse, and blazer, along with low-heeled pumps for girls, although they will allow tailored pants instead of a skirt in the colder months, and fashionable boots. Reading between the lines, it’s plain they would prefer that girls wear the skirts year round, just adding leggings when it’s cold.” Eve had a slightly evil grin on her face as she relayed this information. “You should really read that handbook. There’s a lot of important stuff in there. It’s not like the handbook at your old school where they just put one out to justify someone’s job.”

“I’m so screwed.” Leah sat heavily on the bed.

“No! - No! - No! Get up. You’ll wrinkle that skirt and then you will have to iron it.”

Leah sprang to her feet.

“Now brush out the wrinkles you put in it.” She waited while Leah reached behind her to do so. “Now, as you sit, use one hand to smooth the fabric.”

Leah did as she was told. “There sure are a lot of rules for being a girl.”

Both of her sisters giggled. “You haven’t seen anything yet, and there’s no way we can teach you everything you need to know before Christmas. Maybe we can show you enough to avoid making any really big goofs that will out you to your classmates as a former boy. You’ll have to learn most of it just like the rest of us, — as you go.” Eve quipped.

Beth was listening intently to her older sister. A lot of this was new to her also, although she would never admit it. She had always been something of a tomboy herself, but recently she was seeing that some of her friends and classmates were experimenting with their clothes. She had been thinking of talking with Eve about this since school started this year, but this way she didn’t have to embarrass herself by asking dumb questions. It was a win-win for her.

“Now, change that blouse for one of the sweaters. I suggest the scoop neck, but either will do.”

Leah looked at the two sweaters. She then reluctantly put on the scoop neck. She knew it was wool and expected it to be itchy, but it was incredibly soft against her skin.

“I thought this was supposed to be wool?” Leah asked, questioningly.

“It is.” Eve replied. Mamaw picked this out especially for you. “That’s Merino wool, that’s why it is so soft. She bought us each one as a gift. Aren’t they wonderful?” She oozed.

Leah had to agree. The wool in the sweater was very elastic and seemed to caress her skin as it conformed to her upper body. It also emphasized her hourglass figure, especially her breasts.

“Now let’s practice sitting. Remember, smooth the back of your skirt as you sit. —— That’s good! You just have to practice it until it is automatic.

“That’s better. Now let’s go in the bathroom. We need the mirror. I want to show you how to care for your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Leah was overwhelmed. There was so much to learn and remember.

“Nothing much, I just want to show you some of the easiest ways of keeping it out of your face. Otherwise, it will drive you crazy, being in your eyes and mouth.”

Leah gave a long shuddering breath before following Eve across the hall into the bathroom that was Eve and Beth’s. Might as well get it over with. She really did get tired of pulling her hair out of her face; and out of her mouth especially.

————

“Okay. See that wasn’t so bad, was it, and you look fantastic.” Eve was so proud of her efforts.

Leah stared at the young hottie in the mirror, and whimpered. That was the whole problem; she did look fantastic and Eve had just done the bare minimum. She had put just a hint of eyeliner on her, and a touch of lip gloss but she had helped her mostly with her hair.

“I’m really jealous of your eyelashes.” Eve and Beth said simultaneously. “As long, thick, dark and naturally curled as they are, you will never have to fool with mascara, and trust me that is one of the worst things about wearing makeup.” Eve finished.

Leah’s hair glistened and reflected the light, making it almost iridescent. Eve had taken a small lock of hair on either side of Leah’s face and used a curling iron to produce a long curl of hair that hung in front of her ears framing her face. The rest she had pulled back behind Leah and fastened it at the sides with a couple of clips over her ears. The bulk of her hair she had clipped in a large barrette and let cascade in waves down her back in a loose ponytail. It had a natural layered look, was plush, springy, and bounced every time Leah moved her head. Leah thought it made her look like a bimbo.

The really strange thing was individual locks of her hair were seeming to take on a life of their own sometimes, waving about, wrapping around things, almost like tentacles. Eve had been fascinated as it would wrap itself around the handle of the brush as she tried to give Leah’s hair some style. Leah had always heard women talking about their hair having a life of its own, but this was just weird.

This independent movement of her hair had just started since she woke up in the hospital. Sometimes wispy clumps of hair would wave around as if there was a wind blowing just that strand, but there was no wind. She had first noticed it when she was struggling to reach a brush from her hospital bed when a finger sized bunch of her hair formed a tendril had wrapped itself around the handle, dragging it toward her hand. Another time she had thought about braiding a few strands to hang over her ear, simply because she was bored, but by the time she reached for it, she had discovered she already had a braid there, exactly like she had thought of, yet she couldn’t remember doing it.

As Lee, with his buzz cut, hair care consisted of a quick shower and he was good to go for several days. Now, it took tons of care. Leah with her hip length hair had to brush it for ten or fifteen minutes at least twice a day and usually more often. It had to be washed, conditioned, and at least partially blow dried. This operation took at least 45 minutes even with her water shedding spell which took most of the water out of it before she even started drying it.

“I don’t know why I can’t get it cut,” She groused to Eve. “It is very distracting, and is a constant reminder of — you know. It’s always getting in my face, and my food, or getting caught in something. In short, it’s a monumental pain.”

“But it is so beautiful. Why would you ever cut it? Do you have any idea how long it would take to grow it back out?” Eve looked appalled at the mere suggestion.

“I don’t want to grow it back out. That’s the point of getting it cut.” Leah grumbled.

“Yeah, shorter is a lot easier to care for.” Beth piped in. Only Beth seemed to see the value of ease of care.

Eve gave her a dirty look, and spoke. “You have hair most girls would gladly kill for, why, on earth, would you want to cut it?

————

This morning after getting dressed and copying the light makeup Eve had put on her yesterday, even Leah had to admit that it looked really nice as she stood in front of the mirror. The boy inside her looked at it and wanted to run his fingers through it. The girl groused about how long it took to get it ready. Right now she had it in a fairly low maintenance ponytail set high on her head that bounced and swished cutely with every movement of her head. Sometimes it even seemed to move without her moving. She heaved a deep breath and resolved to try and put up with it for now, but she still wanted to get it cut.

“Everything takes longer as a girl.” She complained to both of her sisters that evening. They were all sitting on her bed in their night clothes. Leah was wearing cotton fleece pajamas with loose shorts instead of the longer pants she was used to. They would have been okay, except for the bunnies printed all over them.

Her dad had surprised her with an expensive silver-plated brush and mirror set that evening. She was brushing her hair while she talked. “Getting ready for bed (stoke) for example.” She continued. “As a boy, I brushed my teeth, (stroke) took a quick whizz, (stroke) said my prayers (stroke) and I was good to go, (stroke) five minutes tops. (stroke)

“Now I have to cleanse my face, (stroke), apply moisturizer (stroke) (still not sure why, I thought. Didn’t I just spend ten minutes cleaning the oils off my face?) brush my teeth (stroke)(At least that hadn’t changed), brush my hair (stoke) for at least five or ten minutes, (stroke - stroke) select my sleepwear, (stroke) which I am supposed to change daily according to Mamaw, (stroke) (I figured that what Mamaw didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her), then find some way that’s not too uncomfortable (stroke) to put my hair up to sleep (stroke) so it doesn’t tangle.” (stroke)

“Naahh! Every three or four days is plenty often enough to change your pajamas,” Beth chimed in.

“Beth!” Eve was offended, “You need to change at least every other day. Besides you’ll want to change more often once you, you know — start.” She said wrinkling her nose. “Believe me - you’ll really want to change your clothes then!”

Leah shuddered.

“Whatever,” Leah turned back the conversation back to her point, and away from the thoughts of periods, to which she knew Eve was referring. “And then I still have to say my prayers. (stroke) All this takes at least twenty minutes (stroke) and usually thirty or forty (stoke) because one or both of you usually come in (stoke) and want to critique my preparations, (stroke) and all before I can even get in bed, (stroke) and now you are trying to push me into wearing make-up, (stroke) which would have to be removed on top of everything else. (stroke) I still don’t see why I need any more make-up than this eyeliner and lip gloss with my skin.” (Although I will admit that the eyeliner and gloss look good. she thought.) She stopped brushing and put the brush in it’s case.

Both her sisters simultaneously declared that wasn’t the point. “You need to learn the skills so you can use it, if and when you do want it or need it.” Eve explained, as if to a retarded child. “Besides, girls wear make-up for all sorts of reasons other than need. You can change your look to suit the occasion, or make yourself look older or younger. You might even want to use it for a date or something.”

“Yeah, like that’s going to happen! Not!”

Eve and Beth looked at each other and grinned evilly. “Right, big sister. We’ve seen the way you act when Jim’s around.”

“He’s just my best friend! I’m not interested in him like that.” Even Leah didn’t know who she was trying to convince — them or herself.

Golden who was lying on the bed with her head in Beth’s lap getting brushed, an activity Golden had discovered she liked very much, lifted her head to look at Leah and broke in. ‘You should listen to your sisters while you have them available. You may wish you had after you’re at school. They know more about fitting in and what other girls think and how they act. You would be foolish not to take advantage of their experience. And you do act like you would like Jim to be your mate.'

Leah moaned. Now she was getting it from all sides. She decided another quick change of subject was needed.

“That reminds me. What am I going to do about Golden? How am I going to convince the school to let me keep a 70 pound wild cat in my dorm room. ‘You can’t stay invisible all the time, and those rooms aren’t that big.'

‘I’ve been working on that.’ Golden spoke to Leah, ‘I visited Danu and she put a spell on me, which I can use hide in plain sight, if you provide me with the essence to power it, since I can’t collect essence myself.’

“Are you talking to Golden again?” Beth asked.

“Yeah, she’s about to tell me how she’s going to get them to let me keep her in my room. Go on.”

‘Well, if you will send a little essence my way I’ll show you.’

Leah funneled some of her essence to the cat. She had been practicing that with Cantrip’s help, who was coming over to the house now to give her lessons. Apparently Golden could act like a battery to store the essence Leah collected. This would help her work around the limits on how much essence she could gather and store in herself, at one time.

Suddenly, Golden seemed to shimmer and begin to get smaller, until curled in Beth’s lap was a normal sized cat. One with the unusual markings and color of Golden, but the size and generally look of a slightly odd house cat.

“Wow, that’s cool.” Beth was ecstatic over the new, smaller Golden. But it’s still weird being around you two and only being able to hear one side of the conversation.

“How long will the spell last?”

“How much essence have you got? The amount you sent me this time should enable me to look and feel this way for about 30 minutes.”

“Wow, that’s going to take a lot of essence to keep you hidden all the time, but since I can gather it pretty quickly, I guess, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Why does everything have to be so complicated?”

“Well, also, I don’t have to stay hidden all the time, just when there’s someone else around. Also, I can use my own ability to become invisible, if necessary.

“You also should really start charging me up with essence everyday. If you wait until you need it, it will be too late.”

“I guess,” Leah agreed reluctantly. She could see so many ways for this to go wrong, and with her luck they all would.

Eve jumped in at this point. “I see you still haven’t read your handbook. All Mages are allowed special dispensation for familiars. You just have to hope who ever you get as a roommate isn’t allergic to cats.”

“Roommate? I didn’t know I was going to have to share a room.” She moaned. “I’ve never shared a room. How am I going to keep my secrets with a roommate breathing down my neck all the time?”

“You won’t be able to. You just have to hope you get someone cool, and make them your BFF. That way they will keep your secrets happily.” Eve grinned.

“Most of the time anyway.” Beth shrugged as she threw in that last part.

————

Deep within the northern edge of the Canadian shield, more than ten miles under the surface was a cavern of sorts. It was no ordinary cavern having neither entrance nor exit and any ordinary cavern would have long since collapsed under the weight of the rock overhead. This cavern was held open by its sole inhabitant.

In that Stygian blackness, where no sunlight or any other light had penetrated since long before the dawn of the dinosaurs, something moved. If human eyes could have seen it, and remained sane enough to report what they saw, they might have reported something resembling a bulbous, grey-white grub, about the size of a small train and filled with protoplasmic snot. Hundreds of eyes and needle teeth-filled mouths appeared and vanished continually within each segment.

Yet such a description would not have begun to explore the foul, slimy feeling the monstrosity would leave on any mind that saw it. A sliminess that would corrupt that mind and, indeed, the very soul of that person, until all that was left was a shell only a shell remained. A shell, yet alive, and devoted to serving its master without thought or remorse for any act it might perpetrate. A shell capable of passing that corruption on to others they might also serve.

The shoggoth had been made by and as a servitor to the Great Old Ones (GOOs). It’s life, if it could be called that, had been sustained by sipping at the magical essence of the world. Sipping almost daintily, lest it attract unwanted attention.

When taking part in a great war between the forces of light and dark, order and chaos, near the dawn of this world, it was injured almost beyond its ability to maintain life before escaping into a deep cavern. Once it had healed slightly, the shoggoth made the cavern was made deeper and deeper, sealing the rock behind it.

Here it slumbered through the ages of the world, hoping to escape the attention of beings greater than itself, but seemingly hoping in vain. It would soon be apparent that those beings were fully aware of its existence, and location, all along.

Alien voices from beyond the space and time in which this world existed insinuated their way into the thing’s mind. ‘We have need of you. One has entered the world who could interfere with our plans. This must not be. You will seek it out and test its strength before destroying it.’

The shoggoth mentally cowered and whimpered. It had been content in its cocoon deep in the earth. It did not want to leave it, but yet knew it dare not disobey; for while the GOOs might be outside the plane of the planet now, it knew they did not intend to stay there. Chaos would reign over the world again, when they returned. To disobey, meant torment beyond imagination in that time. Torment that could last for geological ages. Torment that would make it long for oblivion, but it knew that boon would not be granted. It would suffer for eternity, or until the GOOs forgot about it, and they had long memories indeed.

It reluctantly began insinuating tentacles into cracks and crevices of its self-made prison, further cracking the greenstone of the shield. It would take months to work its way to the surface, but what is time to a creature who slept and dreamed since giant dragonflies with six foot wing spans had hunted for prey among great swamps filled with other creatures now only known from fossils. The thing would make its way to the surface and then something not seen in living memory would follow its instructions. The shoggoth moved slowly but surely, cracking rock and gradually climbing ever upward.

————

The Ottawa Ontario Earthquake Monitoring Center’s computers noted the continuing swarm of small earthquakes 500 miles north of Winnipeg, but since the quakes were small (< 2 on the Richter scale), they sounded no alerts. The bored operator noted a tiny wobble on the seismographs, but went back to reading the trashy romance novel, dismissing them as rebound. After all, small quakes in the region were fairly common as it was still rebounding from the last Ice Age. It would be months before someone in the center noted the ongoing pattern of the quakes; and due to its remote location, months more before anyone was sent to check the area.

————

Danu noticed though, as the ley lines in the area were disrupted. Leah’s coming had been noted in the beyond and they had caused something else to stir. Danu hung her head. She had hoped that Leah would have more time to learn and develop before this occurred. With luck it would be only one of the lesser servitors, although that was still more than Leah was ready for now. Steps would have to be taken that Danu had not wanted to take yet and Leah would need friends, friends with power.

————

Leah sat limply on her bed. Mamaw and Grandpa had gone back to Cincinnati to get things ready for their visit later in the week. Her dad was at work finishing up some things so he could take time off to go with them to Cincinnati. Mom had gone back to the mall, to return clothes that hadn’t fit her, and no doubt to bring more home for her to try. Her sisters were both at school.

Leah was alone with her thoughts, not a pleasant place to be. Even Cantrip’s visit this morning hadn’t been enough to pull her out of the funk, in which she was wallowing. She had learned several new spells, Levitation, and ghost walking being the two coolest. She had drug herself through the lesson, until Cantrip giving up on getting through to her cut the lesson short.

She felt like crying, yet couldn’t be bothered. There was a sadness within her that was like a physical pain. One she had never felt before, even when she first learned of her impending changes. Leah had been sitting there for the last two or three hours staring at the stranger in the mirror across the room. She really didn’t know exactly how long, nor care. A psychiatrist would have called it deep depression.

The girl in the mirror was pretty — no, she was beautiful. Even Leah had to agree with that — but she wasn’t him. Everyone around her was so stunned and entranced by that face and body. They all told her how beautiful she was, and how lucky she was to have turned out so well, but that girl wasn’t Lee, and she didn’t feel lucky. When she looked at her she only felt like she wanted to vomit.

Golden rose from her cushion and padded to the bed and where she stropped her cheek against Leah’s legs. Her familiar didn’t say anything, because she knew there was nothing to say that would help right now. Leah’s emotions broadcast that, Golden could only remind Leah that she was here for her.

Leah absently stroked Golden’s head. She did appreciate the big cat’s presence and love, but it wasn’t enough. What no one seemed to understand was that no matter how beautiful she was, no matter how powerful, the girl in the mirror wasn’t Lee. She could never be Lee. Lee was a boy and always would be.

They had told her how lucky they were that she was there to save her mother. Of course, Leah was infinitely glad she could do so, but what no one, but her, seemed to realize was that if she hadn’t been there, hadn’t been a mutant, her mother wouldn’t have needed saving. Her mother wouldn’t be a mutant herself, but most of all Leah would still be Lee.

Leah had waited once until she was alone with the doctor while still at the hospital. “Doctor, I’ve been doing some reading and I wanted to ask you about something.” She was a bit embarrassed to be bringing this up. “I was reading on the internet about Sexual Reassignment Surgery, and was wondering if, maybe, — it could change me back to a boy.”

For a moment he looked at her like how could she even consider changing that body before his professionalism took over, and he remembered she was still a boy where it counted.

“I’m so sorry, Leah, but with your BIT and regenerative power, the chances of SRS working are a million to one. I wish I could tell you different.”

Now as she sat here alone in her room, she knew he was right. Heck, she couldn’t even cut her hair. In a fit of anger after it got on her face one time too many, she chopped it off to a couple of inches long. Her mother and sisters were appalled. They didn’t seem to understand she wasn’t really a girl. What was really strange though was how the remaining short hair had writhed for several minutes before it settled down.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered. When she woke this morning it was already down to her shoulder blades. Now, four hours later, it was as long as it ever was, and the only result was that she was really hungry, probably needing to replenish the materials used to regrow it. She couldn’t even raise the energy to go eat something.

Her sisters, mother and grandmother were constantly bringing new clothes for her to try on and model for the last few days. The women’s trousers and tee’s were the best of the lot. They, at least, covered her. They were always trying to teach her the myriad types of women’s clothes, how and when to wear them. They didn’t understand that the clothes were just another reminder of what she had lost, not what she had gained.

Yesterday, Mamaw, Kathleen and her sister’s brought out a huge stack of catalogues. They showed her dozens of different types of clothes and tried to explain which one was appropriate for what occasion. Beth seemed to hold back, not really joining in.

“There’s so much more variety in women’s clothes.” Her mother had tried to tell her.

“For example, these are blouses”. Mamaw flipped open one of the catalogues and pointed. There were pages and pages of them.

“Yeah, boy clothes are sooo boooring!” Eve rolled her eyes and gave an exaggerated shrug.

“Blouses come in almost every conceivable shape and style.” Mamaw enthused. “There are jewel necks, scoop necks, V’s, boat necks, turtlenecks, halter necks, and dozens of others. Then they might have fitted sleeves or full sleeves, short sleeves, elbow length sleeves, three quarter sleeves, raglan or dolman, etc,…etc, and that doesn’t even get into the types of collars, or cuffs, or bodice cuts, types of waist, fitted or loose. Then, there’s colors, materials, weights, and decorations and that’s only blouses.” she had pointed out examples of each as she talked. “So, you see, you’re going to have more choices than you’ve ever had before!

“But, remember, Leah,” Kathleen said kindly, “You will develop preferences for certain things just like you did when you were a boy. And once that happens, you’ll find that you get essentially the same things over and over.” She laughed. “You know, like we did when you found that Redskins football jersey and we got six of them! Just alike!”

“Yeah, but no girl wants six of anything just alike!” Eve said.

Beth snickered. “They’d want at least want six different colors!”

Mamaw scowled and continued as though they had not spoken,“This doesn’t begin to address the various kinds of sweaters, jackets, jeans, pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, leggings, hose, socks, sandals, flats, loafers, and especially, with your long, lovely legs,… heels.” She gushed rhapsodically.”

“When you get used to everything, you’re going to have a lot of fun mixing and matching to get just the right look.” Her mother added. Their enthusiasm was making Leah lightheaded.

This was all running together in Leah’s head. Maybe, eventually, she would get the hang of clothes. It was like learning a foreign language - study, practice, and exposure would finally make some of it stick. For now, she was drowning in information she didn’t want. She began to nod her head and pretend to be listening, like she did in class.

Finally, Beth, watching Leah closely, cried, “Enough! Can’t you see she can’t take anymore of this right now. You’re trying to teach her to be a girly-girl overnight, when she doesn’t even want to be a girl at all.”

Mamaw, Kathleen and Eve looked at Beth like she’d sprouted antennae.

Leah hugged Beth. She might be the only one who understood. Over her shoulder she noticed Eve give her a slow nod. Maybe, Eve got it, too.

“Mamaw, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can only swallow so much of this at one time.” Leah pleaded almost sadly. “I’ve only been a girl a few days.

“I’m tired. I think I’m going to go lay down for a while.” With that she had gone to her room and locked the door.

————

She was actually glad to be alone today. That way she didn’t have to pretend to care about all that unnatural (for her) stuff. She breathed a deep shuddering breath, and dragged herself to the bathroom to perform another aberrant act, — peeing. Once she finished and washed her hands, (something that seemed a lot more important to her now than it had been to Lee after taking a leak,) she made her way back to the mirror.

They couldn’t or wouldn’t understand these things weren’t important to her, not really. What was important was how she supposed to learn live in a body that wasn’t hers? She was a boy, and suspected that she would always be a boy, inside where it counted. She had actually thought about killing herself a couple of times since she had woke in the hospital, but she had a feeling that it wouldn’t be easy. Actually, between her regeneration, as well as Golden and Danu watching over her, she doubted that it would even be possible.

She threw herself back on her bed, tears streaming from closed eyes and running down her face. She didn’t even try to wipe them away. If she had been less caught up in her misery, she would have felt the magic coalesce in the room, right before the purple rabbit hopped out from under her bed. Goldenclaw backed up and lowered her head and shoulders, her legs stretched out in front of her in an obvious bow. The rabbit stopped, looked at her and flipped his ears down in recognition of the honor accorded him. Goldenclaw lay down on her belly, flipping her tail nervously.

“Call to her.” He ordered Goldenclaw haughtily.

“Leah, — Leah! Someone is here to see you.” Golden obeyed.

Leah sniffed, wiping her face with her hands before rising on her elbows to look at Golden. She inhaled sharply upon seeing the rabbit, her reddened eyes going wide.

The air around the rabbit began to shimmer, then with a blur, standing before her was a ?man?.

“Hello, Leah. I am your father.”

He was handsome, - very tall and regal looking, just as her mother had said, but there was more. His ears came to a tall point. His hair was long and the color of silver, not old-man silver, but like the metal silver. His eyes were very large with a vertical irises that were a brilliant amethyst color. He wore a silver circlet with what looked like a large amethyst centered on his forehead. She lay there supported by her elbows with an astonished look on her face.

Leah’s mouth worked but no sound came out. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, shutting her mouth. When she opened them again, she simply said “Hello — who are you?” Even though she already knew.

“As I said, I am your father.”

“No!” She said sharply, “A father is there for their children. You are a sperm donor. Why are you here? — Now?”

“Leah, I am sorry, sorry for a lot of things, but it is complicated.”

“Not to me. My dad is my father. He raised me after you walked away.”

“In many ways, you are right, he is your father, and worthy of your love. But I am your father, too. I have watched over you, even if you never saw me. I did what I had to do. Danu foresaw things that required me to sire you.”

“So you just came and spilt your seed and split. Leaving me to fulfill some unknown destiny. You pretended to love my mom, got her pregnant and then slam bam, thank you, ma’am. I’ll call you! You bastard! How could you do that? What if my dad hadn’t been the standup kind of man he is? Did you even care about her, — about me?! How can you come back here and stand before me and say you’re my father?”

“It was not like that.” His face revealed he wasn’t used to being talked to like that. Golden cringed in the corner, clearly torn between wanting to go to Leah and fear of being before her.

“No? Well then, just what was it like? What is your name anyway? Is it Liam like you told my mother?” Leah wasn’t having a good day before this and didn’t feel like being especially social to this stranger claiming to be her father. A soft amber glow began to surround her, crackling softly with power, as she seemed to get larger somehow.

“I need explain myself to none!” His face grew dark and forbidding and he seemed to grow taller in response.

Golden could stand by no longer, the bond between her and Leah was stronger than her fear of the Grey Lord. She rose and leapt between them, her fur fluffed out, growling with her teeth bared.

Her father waved his hand and Golden became a small house cat.

Acting mostly out of instinct and partly in imitation of what she had just seen, Leah waved her own hand and Golden once again stood between them, now also surrounded by the Leah’s amber glow. Golden snarled and showed her teeth as her flexing claws ripped gouges in the oak flooring. “You will leave me and mine alone! They are not yours to command or change.

“Now! You’re right, you need explain yourself to none! Certainly not to me, who cares very little what you have to say, but either answer my questions, or leave. I’ve done alright without you up ’til now and I can continue to do so.” The regal tone of her voice left no room for equivocation.

He relaxed, shrinking to the size he had first appeared and chuckled. “You are indeed worthy to be my daughter, as well as, the daughter of the Goddess.” He paused looking thoughtful for a moment before speaking.

“My true name, the name by which I can be commanded is Lugubelenus dé Dubhtiarna. No living being other than you knows that name. You may call on me using it, if you are in need, and I will come.”

“You are my daughter and even though I’ve poor enough father to you, I trust you with my name. I ask only that guard it well. True names have power.”

Leah was taken aback. She and Cantrip had spoken at length about the power of true names. What he had just told her was mind shattering when talking about a being like a Grey Lord.

“However, I have gone by Liam ever since I met your mother. You see something happened while I courted your mother that I did not expect. I fell in love.”

“So naturally you had to leave!” Leah was cutting him no slack.

“Yes, Leah, I had to leave. As much as I loved your mother, my time in this world is limited. It pains me greatly to be here — in more ways than one.”

“What do you mean?” Leah’s curiosity was overcoming her anger.

“I was born in and of this world in its youth. I am a part of it, and it me, but the world you see around you is not the world I knew. Much has been lost. Lost through war, lost through neglect, or lost through use. The world I remember from my youth was a paradise, all of it much like Avalon. It pains me to see what has been overlain on what was.

But there is another reason I could not stay, just as my time here and now must be brief. Has your mother told you stories of when I was with her?”

Leah nodded.

“Did she tell you of your grandfather’s garden and how it grew.” Again Leah nodded.

“I was born to the world as a part of it and it in me. Now, as l sit here, the world in its need tries to take back that part of itself that is in me. The garden grew, because my life energy nurtured it. Each time I return, it takes more, depending on how long I remain here. If I remain too long or come back too many times, it will take so much that I will die. Therefore, even though I can not stay long, Leah, I had to see you, to explain and comfort you, who, even I could feel, was in such pain for one so young. I, also, owed you — and your mother an explanation.

Maybe one day when you have set right much of what is wrong I can return to stay. Mankind is responsible for some of that changes in the world, but by no means all. That is a part of what you were born to help set right.

“In the youth of man, he had few choices in the damage he did to this world, but now he is coming of age, you must show them that they not only have choices, but responsibilities. The wanton destruction of the world and its inhabitants must end.”

Leah pondered on his words, then asked one of the questions on her mind.

“I don’t understand how I can be the child of three parents. My mother, you and Danu.”

“It is — complicated,” Liam replied, no longer looking her in the eyes. He looked disturbed. “While it was me who made love with your mother, the sperm delivered was not wholly mine. Danu had altered it in such a way that you would be the result.” He looked pained.

“So I was engineered?” Leah didn’t like the clinical sound of that.

“No. It’s more like, you are the daughter that Danu would have liked to have had herself, were she not bound. However, since she is bound, she had to use others to give birth to her daughter. You are no less precious to her or me than any other of our children, maybe more. And, yes, you have a destiny involved in your life, but if they only knew it, every person and thing in this world has a destiny, mostly only small destinies, whereas your destiny is much greater, like helping to keep mankind from destroying his own world, among other things.”

“Just how am I to change the ways of billions? I can’t even control myself.”
Leah asked exasperatedly. Danu had hinted at the same thing, but no one was telling her how.

“You will know when the time comes. These are not things that you will be expected to go out and do tomorrow. Your destiny will come in its time, but first you have much to learn, not least of which is how to live with yourself.

“You are depressed because you have become a girl. It is necessary that you be a girl now, and one day you will understand why. By the time that day comes, you will have grown into your power, and will know that you can take any form that suits you. Then if you want to be a man, you can become one easier than you can change your clothes, but for now this must be who and what you are.”

Leah’s lip trembled as she stood staring out of the window at the brilliant red sunset. “I don’t want this power. You, Danu, even Coach, Cantrip and Doc see all this great power in my future. I don’t want it. I don’t want some great destiny. I don’t want to be responsible for the world… it’s too much. — I’m afraid.” As the tears began to drip down her cheeks, Liam wrapped her in his arms.

“Shhhh! Don’t worry about it. Most of the things foreseen are far in your future, and by the time you get there you will be ready and will welcome it, for you will need the purpose it will give your life. There will be many, many years of happy times in your life, before you will be called on to be what only you can be. Don’t let the worry about what might be taint what is. Embrace your life. Fill it with joy. These will sustain you when darker times come.”

This stranger who was her father held her and stroked her hair. When she finally relaxed, he held her at arms length and wiped the tears from her face. Even though she had known him only minutes, she felt a bond forming between them. A bond she wasn’t sure she wanted, but which was there none-the-less.

How simple her life had been. She longed for those days that she realized would never be again. She took a deep breath and resolved to face what she must, but only when she must. What was that saying, ‘sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof’. In those moments, though she didn’t know it, she took a large step in growing up.

“Go and wash your face. Your mother comes, and I want you to prepare her. I wish to speak with her, and she thinks I am dead. I want you to break it to her that I live.”

“Oh, that’s going to be fun,” she said sarcastically. “By the way, mom, that guy who was my father, he didn’t die, he just left us.”

“I didn’t say it was going to be easy, for any of us, least of all me. I love her with a love that mortals can only dream of and yet, she belongs to another. I must accept that, but I must see her.”

Leah could hear the pain in his voice. A pain born of a love that could not be but which would live on in this near immortal being, and she was sad; sad for him; and sad for her mother.

—————

Leah had just told her mother about her father being here, when he walked into the room. He was shorter, and looked very human. He was still very handsome.

He smiled and said simply, “Hello, Kathleen.”

Her mother stood there, mouth gaping, tears running down her face as she looked at Liam (Sr). She seemed struck speechless. After a long pregnant minute, she walked toward him and raised her hand as if to caress his face. And slapped the crap out of him.

For a brief moment the visage of the Grey Lord flashed across his face, before retreating. “I guess I deserved that,” was all he said.

“You think!” her mother responded. “Where have you been for the last fourteen years? No! I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter, but did you ever care for me, or was I just a convenient fuck to you?”

Leah had never heard her mother use language like that. It shocked her, shocked her more than meeting her father.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“No? It sure seemed like that when you left without a word. Did you tell them to tell me you had died. Do you care that a part of me died when I heard those words?”

“Kathleen, I cared. I had to go, and that seemed a less painful way to do it.”

“Right! Let me think that the love of my life and father of my unborn child was dead. Do you care the pain, and embarrassment that caused me? My father and mother went to their graves thinking their daughter was some cheap slut who would spread her legs for anyone. Wondering if it would happen again. Daddy never really forgave me, and you have the audacity to come back here now! You Bastard!” Her mother’s voice was filled with anger and loathing.

Leah couldn’t take anymore of this. This was a side of her mother she had never seen. In many ways, it disturbed Leah as much as her own changes, because it knocked the pins out from under something she thought was solid in her life. Between her father showing up, her own angst, and now seeing her mother like this, she couldn’t take anymore. She turned and ran from the house, followed by a house cat hot on her heels.

She ran and ran and ran until she ended up deep in a wooded valley. She threw herself on the ground beside a small stream and sobbed. She wasn’t even sure she knew what she was sobbing about. It just seemed her world was coming apart and nothing was certain anymore.

Golden, back in leopard form, snuggled up against her. The big cat was breathing heavily, getting her breath back after struggling to keep up with Leah. Leah threw her arms around her neck and sobbed into her fur. The only thing she was aware of was the deep rumbling purr of the big cat as Golden comforted her. There was nothing for Golden to say. Leah just needed to get it all out.

Leah was unaware where she was. She might have been surprised, but really didn’t care, that she was in the Great Smokey Mountains just outside the small village of Cherokee, North Carolina. She had covered the distance of nearly 70 miles from Knoxville through the mountains in less than thirty minutes. Unlike Golden, she wasn’t out of breath, except from crying.

————

“I tell you, Ernie, I seen ‘em a-going atta way. I ain’t never seen nuttin’ movin’ ‘at fast. She must have been going two hun’red miles an hour, and that big cat wattin’ much ahind her. She’s gotta be one of them thar’ mutants, and if’n we wuz to bag that thar’ big cat, I knows a feller who’ll pay big money fer it.”

“Jimbo, if they’s a movin’ fast as you say, they’s probably three er four counties away, by now. How’s we supposed ta find ‘em?” He shifted the big scoped rifle on his shoulder.

“You jest look o’er yonder. Ya see that scrap o’ blue on that thar snag o’er thar?

“Yeah, so.”

“Well, I reckon she dun tore that off what she wuz a wearin’ when she run through that thicket. If’n that be hers, one of ‘em Basset Hounds ’a mine can get her scent, and then he’ll foller her anywhar’. ‘Em dogs’ best trackers, I e’r ‘ad. How many of ‘em bears has they dun tracked down fer us. Hell! We’ve dun got three gall bladders this here hunt.”

“How’s ‘at ‘sposed to help us, if’n she’s two hunderd miles away, by now.”

“Coz, don’ think she is. She wuz slowin’, like she was runnin’ down. I don’ figger she’s mor’n a few miles away. An if’n she’s dun wore out as I figger, then ‘ey ought’a be easy pickin’s. We kin kill dat cat, and nab her. Sam Baker o’er in Sevierville’ll pay us good money fer a mutant lik’n her.”

“What’s he wan’ ‘er fer?”

“Sell’s ‘em to some MCO guy in Asheville.” He wrapped the sling of his rifle around his forearm, then gripped the barrel to keep it ready. He wasn’t sure he liked the look and smell of that big cat. It creeped him out for some reason, but he figured they could stay well back and pick it off using the scopes. He had never seen anything like it before, but he knew they could get hundreds, maybe thousands of bucks for a big cat from that chinaman down in Del Rio.

“Why don’t we jest sell ‘er to him d’rect? Cut the middlin’ man.”

“Naw! You don wan’ nuttin’ to do with ‘em fellers. They’s bad news.”

“But we ain’t mutants, what’d they wan’ with’n us?”

“You jest better off stay’n ‘way from ‘em. They’s bad news, I tell ya. Least that’n o’er in Asheville is.” Jimbo didn’t want nothing to do with the MCO. He also didn’t want Ernie to know that it wasn’t just the dogs that was tracking the animals they hunted. Jimbo could smell the girl and that cat, and could feel their life. That’s how he knew they were only a few miles further on, laid up by Cricket Creek.

————

The dawn light was just beginning to filter through the bare branches of the trees as Golden heard the dogs baying and scrambling through the thick brush along the creek. The dogs didn’t worry her. The men and guns she could smell a few hundred yards further away did.

She and Leah were just beginning to explore their bond. She seemed to have abilities with Leah that she had never had before. For example, she could hear, not their thoughts exactly, but knew their intent and definitely their emotions. She could feel them even when she couldn’t see them. Golden knew that one of the men was working his way up onto the slope above them to get an angle on them, while the other followed them with the dogs.

Golden woke Leah with a deep basso profondo growl the seemed to vibrate the very ground beneath them. With a mental admonition for silence, she quickly conveyed the important information to Leah, and indicated she needed leave her jacket stuffed with some leaves and get among some boulders piled near them.

Casting one of Cantrip’s spells to move silently and another to move in shadows, Leah worked her way in the dim morning light until she was amongst the boulders. She never questioned Golden. Once she was there, Golden slipped almost as silently up through the scrub and trees toward the man trying to get above them. She knew these men’s sour hearts and knew they did not mean them well.

————

Jimbo spat a stream of tobacco juice as he settled into the natural blind a fallen tree provided. He couldn’t see all of the girl, just a patch of her coat between two trees. What really worried him was, even with the scope he couldn’t find hide ‘ner hair of that big cat; that raised the question of where it were.

The cat was the main reason Jimbo had sent Ernie and the dogs up the creek bank, knowing that Ernie couldn’t move really quiet, if’n his life depended on it, and them dogs made enough noise to wake the dead. They were to be the distraction, so he could take the shot; but there was no shot to take. Where the hell was that damn cat? Jimbo swept the powerful scope down the banks of the stream looking for his prey.

‘Nothin’. Where was ‘at damn cat. He didn’t figger ‘at girl fer any real trouble, e’en if’n she was a mutant, she was just a cunt, after all. Couple of good hard clouts to the side of the ‘ead an’ they all purty much shut up and did what ‘ey wuz told. ‘Ell, ‘ey might e’en have ‘em sum fun, afer ‘ey sold ‘er to Sam. Maybe, she’d put up sum fi’t, he like it when they fought. Made the pokin’ better — more ‘citing.’

But he had to find the cat first. His instincts told him ‘at weren’t no ordinary cat, and it scered him for some reason. He worked the near side of the bank with’n the scope, down to ‘em damn noisy dogs. Nuttin’.

He was working his scope back up the far bank looking for movement, when he heard a soft rustle of dry leaves behind him. He froze for a moment, then gripping the rifle hard, tried to swing himself around to bring the rifle in line with whatever was behind him. He didn’t make it. He had enough time to see Golden spring toward him, before one swipe of the large paw with its needle-sharp claws sent the gun flying and ripped through his heavy coat. He screamed once as the large claws ripped his arm to the bone from elbow to wrist, breaking at least one bone. One of Golden’s back legs kicked out as she landed on his thigh, bending the leg backwards at the knee and ripping the patella loose from its moorings on one end.

Jimbo was aware he was probably dead even before the cat’s massive jaws closed on his throat, but the big cat didn’t complete the job. Jimbo could feel the trickling of blood down his neck where the great teeth of the cat held him by the throat. He couldn’t draw any air through his constricted throat, but the big cat stilled, as though listening.

————

Leah could feel and see everything that went on during the lightning fast attack, through her link to Golden, as if it were in slow motion. Having sampled the hunter’s emotions and intent with her empathy, she felt no remorse for what was happening to him.

These men were just more of the same as those who tried to kill her and her mother, although if it were possible, these were even worse. She knew from their emotions, they liked killing. One could even say they lived for killing. She could smell the three bear gallbladders through their plastic bags even chilled with the additional bags of dry ice stuffed in the backpack with them. Still she wasn’t sure she wanted the weight of their deaths on her soul. With a single thought, she stopped Golden from the death blow that would have ripped out his throat.

————

With her deep bone-rattling growl, Golden loosened her grip on his throat. Jimbo gasped blessed air back into his starved lungs. The stench of urine and feces rose from his pants. Snarling her mouth in distaste, she showed Jimbo a mouth full of deadly fangs. He cowered back into the little hollow formed by the downed tree, whimpering. Golden turned and started down the slope to circle behind the other one.

————

Leah reached out with her mind and could feel Ernie’s foul thoughts. She had never been able to do that before. In fact, she had never really felt that much empathy before. She knew that these abilities were not hers alone, but a function of the gestalt of her mind and Golden’s. They were really going to have to explore this, but not now.

She knew this ‘man’ had no respect for anything or anybody. They wanted to kill Golden, both as a obstacle to the capture, rape and sale of herself and for the money they could get for the big cat’s “parts”. His thoughts made her sick. For the first time, she got an inkling of what Danu, and her father meant when they talked about changing the ways of men.

These men were extreme examples, but they were just a symptom of humanity’s greater disregard for the planet and its inhabitants. She had always told herself that most men meant well and if they could just be shown the damage they were doing, they would stop, but she suddenly knew this was not true. Most men didn’t care.

These men were sick and sickening, but she suddenly knew with crystal clarity that the businessmen “exporters” of endangered animal parts were worse. The final users were the worst yet, not caring what had to die so they could get one more fix - one more cure - one more erection. As long as that market existed, this killing would go on.

Beyond them though were the corporate men sitting in their boardrooms; deciding to destroy another forest, or filling in another wetland, so they could build another strip mall to be abandoned in a few years; polluting another stream to keep from paying to dispose of their wastes properly. The list went on and on. The eternal pursuit of profit or power, at the expense of anything that got in their way.

Leah leaned over and quietly vomited at the realization of their callous disregard for the planet and the task that lay before her.

It wasn’t just the corporate men, either. There were the religions that insisted it was holy to have child after child in the name of the Lord, her own Catholic church being one, but by no means the only offender. What were they planning to do when there was no room left on the world for anything but them? Declare God’s plan fulfilled?

Revolted as she was by her thoughts, she knew she was nowhere ready to do anything significant about most of it, and wouldn’t be ready for years, but a day would come when she would stop this. One way or another, she would put an end to it!

But for now she had to deal with what was in front of her. She could see through Golden’s eyes as if they were one. Could see that she was circling behind the other man to take him out. Suddenly, she realized that she couldn’t, wouldn’t leave it all to Golden. She didn’t want to leave it all to Golden. She silently instructed Golden to leave this one to her. Golden reluctantly agreed, although she continued to slink up behind him.

Standing from where she crouched among the boulders, she brought herself into view of Ernie. He looked surprised.

————

Ernie was never the brains of his and Jimbo’s little enterprise. So even though he didn’t remember hearing Jimbo’s shot, he had heard Jimbo holler. He assumed that must have been when he killed the cat, and now the girl was coming out to give herself up. (As said - not the brains of the outfit.)

He pointed the gun at her, and hollered, “Get o’er here, bitch!” Then louder, “Jimbo! I got ‘er.” He called the dogs back, lest they spoil the bitch.

Ernie watched as Leah sauntered down along the creek bank in her tattered and torn clothes. She made him nervous. She didn’t look afeared ‘nuf. Didn’t the dumb cow know what ‘ey was fixin’ ta do ta ‘er?

He cocked his rifle as she began to get closer. “Stop rite ‘ere, you dumb ho. I knows youse one of ‘em mutants. Ye just stop, er I’ll put a piece a lead in ye, and still fuck ya. Jimbo, where ye at? Git down here and ‘elp me with’n this bitch.” He yelled still louder.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t think your buddy’s going to be joining you. See my familiar kinda distracted him. He won’t be leaving that place where he was hiding for a while.”

Ernie’s face went white as she said this and the movements of the gun barrel got more erratic as he wondered what he was going to do now. This little piece of tail ought ta be beggin’ fer her life, but she looked like she was the one with the gun. He was getting really scared.

————

Leah could see she had pushed him about as far as she’d better. Even with her tough skin and regeneration, he might get that lucky one in a million shot, so she decided to take steps to prevent it.

Thinking back on her lessons with Cantrip, she closed her eyes and felt for the end of the gun barrel. A little concentration and a quick mental squeeze and she knew she had nothing to fear from that rifle. He had a pistol, but she didn’t think he would think about it, not with the rifle in his hands. He didn’t notice that the end of the barrel was now considerably smaller than the rest of the barrel.

She stepped toward him, and he jerked the rifle up and fired.

————

Ernie heard the blast of the 30-30, but it didn’t sound right. Then he heard screaming rip through the dawn forest, it was at least ten seconds before he realized he was doing the screaming.

The breach of the rifle had exploded. His right hand was a mangled mass of shredded flesh. The rest of the blast had blown back in his face. Both eyes were dribbling down his shattered cheeks, and he was blowing out bits of shattered teeth, blood and flesh with each new scream. Slowly his screams became whines.

Leah knew she should heal him, but instead she stooped to pet the dogs clustered around her, before stepping over the pathetic mewling excuse of a man to join up with Golden. She went to her knees wrapping her arms around Golden’s neck and holding her to her breast. She had always heard that big cats had coarse, rough fur, but not Golden. Her fur was soft as a kitten’s. Leah buried her face in that fur for several long minutes, ignoring the whimpering sounds behind her.

————

She finally knew how to get to Avalon. She had been trying ever since her last visit. Danu had asked it of her, but she just hadn’t been able to figure out how. Now she knew. It was both so easy, and infinitely hard. You simply had to need it. Need it deep down where you live. The trip was a little like dying, that’s what made it hard — la petite mort — the little death, the French called it. However, not in the sexual context it had become to be used in the last few decades, but in the original broader context of referring to the spiritual release that comes with a short period of transcendence of the physical plane as a result of the expenditure of the "life force”.

Leah remembered one of the books about ancient Egypt Cantrip had assigned her to read. At the time it hadn’t made much sense, but here and now in the context of her first battle, she thought she understood. Egyptians believed that with Heka, the activation of one’s Ka, an aspect of the soul of both gods and humans, (and divine personification of magic), they could gain protection, healing and transformation. Every aspect of life, every word, plant, animal and ritual was connected to the power and authority of the gods. Only by surrendering some of one’s Ka, could one reach their goal, and gain access to Nirvana.

Before she had unwilling surrendered a portion of that Ka by becoming unconscious, in order to reach Nirvana or Avalon as she knew it. Therefore, it shouldn’t be difficult to willingly surrender a portion of her Ka, in order to attain access to Avalon and Danu’s guidance.

Reaching inside herself, she drew forth a small amount of her Ka and offered it to the winds and Danu. The good Catholic boy in her cringed at this pagan act, but that boy was rapidly having less influence on her actions.

Not surprisingly, it worked, (Well, truth be told she was a little surprised that it was so easy) and she found herself wandering among the brooks and trees of that magical (truly magical in many ways) land. She was not eager this time to approach Danu.

After a half an hour of aimless wandering, she found herself before the great Saracen Stones of The Henge. With only a moments additional hesitation, she stepped through into the inner ring. Danu sat relaxed, but with just the faintest hint of disappointment about her, or maybe that was Leah projecting her own issues onto to goddess.

“I believe you have had yet another “interesting” day or so.” Danu understated to such a degree that Leah smiled in spite of herself.

“You could call it that.” Leah expressed with an involuntary twinge of frustration. She realized that she had forgotten just how hard it was to be upset or out of harmony with this place, which brought her thoughts back to problem.

Leah needed a calmer, more rational head to tell her what to do. She couldn’t find her objectivity when it came to these men. “Danu, help me. You know what has happened.” It wasn’t a question. “A part of me wants so bad to kill these men outright, for what they wanted to do to me and to Golden, but even more for the pain they are inflicting on anything that crosses their path. They like to kill. I have seen into their minds and I could find little there worth saving.”

“Ah, I see you’ve discovered another aspect of your’s and Golden’s bond. Neither of you can read minds or even clearly perceive emotions, but together you are more. There are other discoveries awaiting you.” Danu smiled that knowing, proud smile that truthfully Leah was beginning to find annoying.

Ignoring her interjection, she continued, “Another part of me wants to leave them to suffer and eventually die in torment as they had done to so many before, human and animal.” She could not see these men as anything other than evil, and she associated them with the Jenkinses. She had been denied her opportunity to extract her pound of flesh there. Yes, they were punished most appropriately, but not by her.

“And yet, still another very small part of me who wants to go back and heal these men, to try to make them better than they were. Why? Why do I feel this way, they surely don’t deserve mercy? So why don’t I just kill them or leave them to die? They would have no qualms about it if the situation was reversed. So why, do I feel this need?”

“There are many reasons, my daughter, but they are reasons that only you can know. You are right. They deserve death. They deserve to die a slow, lingering, painful death. I can not, will not tell you what to do. I will say there may be other possibilities you have yet to explore. If you decide to let them die, either quickly or lingeringly, I will never reproach you, but you must decide.

“One thing and one thing only can I give you, to help in this decision, — and it is done. Go now and decide, my child.”

With those words, Leah found herself back in the North Carolina mountains, exactly as she had left it, except for one small addition. Jim stood over Golden, petting her head, something Golden had grown to love.

“Hi. See you’ve been busy. Do you go looking for trouble or does it just naturally find you?,” He indicated the still whimpering wreck of a man.

Leah rushed forward embracing him fiercely until he squawked he couldn’t breath. Leah loosened her grip and stepped back from him.

“How’d you get here?”

“Magic. How else?”

“I’m so glad to see you. I don’t know what to do.” She proceeded to tell him of the morning’s events, which lead to the events of yesterday starting with her wallowing in her depression. Leah was distracted by the mewling, moaning and whimpering of the men, she eased them into unconsciousness, and staunched their bleeding, so she could think without worrying about them.

When he knew the events and they had discussed them and the feelings they elicited in her about the accident, he stood silently for a very long moment thinking.

“As I see this, it comes down to two fundamental questions only you can answer. Do you put on the mantle of loosing and binding; deciding who lives and who dies with all that entails, knowing you can never again take it off? Or do you show these wretches more mercy and compassion than they deserve, and thereby put off taking on that responsibility; to postpone having to right the wrongs of the world? We both know you have a destiny, probably a great one. But you’re fourteen years old, do you really want it now, Leah?” There was a gentleness in those words that made Leah realize what was really at stake here.

“I guess I give them mercy.” She said quietly. “They don’t deserve it, you know.” He nodded in agreement.

“But you do, Leah. You do deserve it.” Jim wrapped his arms around her suddenly shivering body, and held her until she stopped shaking and the iciness of that December morning along with the greater chill of what she had nearly done left her soul.

She stepped back. Suddenly, she noticed Jim was wearing his camping backpack.

“What’s a girl got to do to get a blanket and a cup of hot coffee around here?”

“Cantrip appeared in my bedroom and said that I should pack for a hike for two people in the mountains.” With that he set down his backpack, and pulled out a down coat that belonged to his dad. Teeth chattering, Leah grabbed it, and slipped it on, as she did the matching pants.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had these? I’ve been freezing my tush off here, you stinker.” Though in truth, until Jim had arrived, she had been unaware of being cold, even through the long early December night. She didn’t want to examine that too closely right now.

“What, and miss out on that hug? Not a chance!” She flushed as he held her eyes with his.

“You do remember that just a few weeks ago we were playing football together, don’t you? Now you think I’m hugging material.” Leah’s tone was slightly sarcastic, but also partly pleading.

“I remember,” He said simply and softly. He paused, looking into her eyes. “I don’t care. You’ve always been my best friend.

“Leah, you are about the most beautiful gal I ever saw, but I wouldn’t care if you looked like a mud fence. You’d still be my best friend, and crazy as it sounds I think I’m falling for my best friend.”

She leaned over and gave Jim a quick hug and an even quicker peck on the lips, at which they both blushed. Her own emotions were churning, as was her stomach as she considered Jim’s words.

She watched as Jim wandered about gathering broken branches for a fire, admiring his quiet competency, as she contemplated the fate of these two cretins. After watching him gather a couple large armfuls, Jim caught her staring at him. He smiled at her, then turned and started stacking the wood for the fire. Jim’s presence and quiet strength calmed her.

Soon Jim had stoked up a roaring fire, and Leah was basking in the warmth. Jim filled and set his granddad’s old metal percolator over a small pile of coals pulled from the main fire. While the coffee brewed, he put together a small travois, and dragged the unconscious men carefully closer to the fire.

Leah knew she could almost effortlessly lift and carry the men to the fire, but somehow she didn’t want to flaunt that before Jim, not right now anyway. She watched him with admiration and a little bit of something else tugging at her as he moved the men with quiet competence and a gentle strength of his own, before covering them with space blankets.

Once she had wrapped herself around a couple of cups of his strong coffee, she checked on the men, she and Golden had savaged. Ernie was beginning to stir. She eased him back down into the relative bliss of unconsciousness. Jimbo was still out, but she nudged him still deeper. As she considered her next move.

Finally, rising to her feet and fighting the revulsion she felt for these men, she gathered essence from Golden, from the trees, from the fish and other life in the stream, careful not to take too much from any one. Finally, she took essence from the man himself as she stood and roused the broken man before her.

She bent over Ernie. “You piece of white trash, you give me just one good reason not to let your sorry ass bleed out right here in these woods.” He could say nothing with his ruined face, but Leah didn’t need an answer from him.

She began to heal the worst of his wounds. Bleeding stopped. The flesh of his hand began to knit itself back into the semblance of usefulness. His eyes regrew painfully in their sockets.

That hand though while useful enough, would always give him pain particularly when he tried to use it to pull a trigger with tendons in those fingers just a little too short. She repaired his face to its normal ugly countenance. She could have fixed him good as new, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted the pain to remind him that he wasn’t the only predator in the woods.

She turned to the one called Jimbo. Gathering more essence she ran her fingers through the trenches in the flesh of his arm, sealing the bleeders, and closing the skin. Not without regret, she healed the torn muscles. She left the scars as a reminder. She mended the knee enough that he and that other piece of scum could make their way out of the mountains, if they had to do so, but he would never freely walk these hills, to kill, again.

She then left the men where they lay. She had taken much of the essence she used from the men themselves, leaving them tired and drained. They would sleep for a long while.

Using one of the hunter’s cell phones, Jim called the park rangers, and without giving his name, told them about the men. He told them about the poaching and gave them the GPS coordinates where they could be found. Then relieving them of any remaining weapons, the two kids built up the fire to keep them warm and left.

In a way, she regretted letting them live, but she knew she was not ready to take that step; to accept that taint on her soul. That day would come she knew; as she now understood more clearly the path that lay before her. The day would come when many men would die at her hand or will, and she would feel no more regret than she felt for these men, but that was not today.

She silently mourned the innocence she had lost that day. A fourteen year-old shouldn’t have to understand these things, to make these choices. She felt sickened by them and by herself.

Then she felt Golden’s mind merge with her own with its more simplistic understanding of life and death, of predator and prey. Oddly, it gave her comfort. She now knew that Golden was more than just a helper and companion, the two of them together were, and always would be, more than either were separately. But she knew much more had changed this day than her new found understanding of her relationship with her familiar.

She and Jim started up the valley toward Knoxville. She didn’t looked back.

They had been walking through the woods in silence for about a half an hour, before a shimmering in the air announced the arrival of her father. Without a word, she, Jim and Golden stepped past him and through the portal into her room before he followed. When he started to speak, she simply held up her hand and he stopped. Pushing Liam, Sr. out with a hand, she shut the door and shed the outer down-filled clothes.

She was left in only the tattered remains of her own clothes. She looked at them and thought they looked like her soul at the moment. Then, without a word between them, she kissed Jim hard on the lips, their tongues briefly exploring. It was more than just a kiss. It was a promise. A promise that would wait until she felt less dark and until they were both ready, but still a promise.

She turned and walked toward the bathroom, and maybe there was just a little extra swing in her hips as she walked away in those tattered clothes that revealed almost as much as they hid. Jim stood watching her, mesmerized as she went to go about the business of washing the physical and psychic filth away. Golden went with her — always.