This new guy starts coming into the diner making notes as he's eating then after a few weeks Caroline and I see him in this deep conflab with Mr Han Lee. To me this smells like trouble so we sweet talk Mr Han Lee until he admits that the diner is now so successful he wants to franchise it and the guy he's been talking to is this MBA expert on franchising.

Well we couldn't have that as Caroline and I would be out in the cold, just two more waitresses among thousands. We wanted our cut so a few days later when the guy comes back we get him cornered and spell out the 'facts of life'.

"Big franchises are only successful if they have a secret ingredient." Caroline explains. "Max and I are this diner's secret ingredient and we are only telling our secrets to those we are well paid to teach how to be us."

That's how Han Lee College came into being being. We have just had our first graduation ceremony and true to our word nobody but our graduates know our secrets.

Professor Caroline gets her undergraduates from the children of the disgraced business world. Boy there are lots of those and the students don't want their background known.

Me, Professor Max? Where do I recruit from? Even Caroline doesn't know that I'm a boy so I could hardly tell her that I'd come across this site on the internet called BigCloset TopShelf and posted a series of stories recruiting from those on the site who commented. The latest story is called 'Not into franchises but I couldn't resist - Dammit!'

With apologies to 2 Broke Girls