CHAPTER 13 – Crying Shame

Mom seemed really happy on the drive home and we chatted away about things. I enjoyed how much closer our relationship was and that Mom and I could talk so openly together now. It was one of the benefits of being a girl and one I appreciated. The topic of the modelling offer from the surf wear shop came up, I had told Mom about it earlier and she had been supportive of the idea at the start so I had phoned them and said yes. I had to be at their San Diego office at 10.00am this coming Wednesday so Mom had offered to drive me. It meant a day off school but when Mom had phoned and talked to Mrs Shirley she had been really supportive of it all with only one condition that I catch up on any work I missed for the day. Something I was happy to do. Mom had commented on just how nice our Deputy Principal was and how much she seemed to like me. I had blushed at that thinking about the times in her office and how much we were enjoying our little project with her. It was always something I looked forward to and I practically rushed to her office at the start of lunch just so I could work on it. We had all agreed to raise money to support a women’s group who were raising money to fight the trafficking of sex slaves in Thailand, something that was now close to home for me considering our recent ‘adventures’ with Jacinta.

“So do you really want to do this whole modelling thing Jade?” Mom was asking and it shook me out of my daydreams.

I thought about it and said “Yeah, I do Mom why?”

“Well you’ve been through a lot recently, I mean far more than the average teenager and well this just seems to be kind of a major distraction when really you should be settling down to your new life and getting on with school don’t you think?”

I knew Mom was testing me but I had thought it through and come to my decision.

“Mom you’ve always taught us that one of the most important things to do in life is to make memories and this is an opportunity to have a big adventure that’s going to do just that, plus I’m going to make some money that’s going to help us all out. Besides you’ll be there with me so it’s kind of a chance to have some time, just you and me, so I was kind of really looking forward to that.”

Mom looked over at me and I knew I’d won.

The road was windy from Jasmines house and she concentrated on driving but the smile on her face told me she was looking forward to having some time alone with me too.

As we rounded a corner a large black car swooped past us going the other way. Seated in the front were a couple of guys, one large, one skinny. I turned around quickly in my seat as they wooshed past and said to Mom,
“That’s them, that’s the guys who chased us the other night, Mom turn around we need to find out where they’re going.”

To her credit Mom didn’t argue, much, and slammed on the brakes doing a quick U-turn on a straight stretch of road. Her old blue Toyota wasn’t made for hot pursuit but she managed to catch up enough to keep the black car in our sights. Both of us knew that if these guys were out here they were more than likely heading toward their ‘Distribution Center’ and if we could find that we could go to the police with some concrete evidence. That would mean freedom for Jacinta and for us from this evil gang.

We followed them for perhaps another 15 minutes as we wound our way into the foothills behind San Diego. As we rounded a corner on to a straight stretch of road we stared perplexed the black car had disappeared. Slowing down Mom continued and I noticed just to our left an old gravel road. Dust was slowly settling back down as if a car had just passed over it and Mom stopped. We looked up the road then at each other

“What do you think?” Mom asked

“We have to find out Mom, if this is where they took Jacinta then it’s also where they keep and probably manufacture their drugs. If we can confirm it’s there then….”

We both knew we had to go up that road but we were both frightened, it was a dire risk, if we were caught……

Mom made her decision and swung the car onto the gravel. It was rutted and shook us around as we negotiated the corners. Mom drove slowly fearful that we would stumble on to the gangsters at any turn.

After about five minutes we came upon an old faded sign on the side of the road stating

‘SLOW DOWN’
‘San Diego Military Academy’
‘No entry except to authorised Personnel’

Just around the corner was a large fence.

We stopped and Mom carefully backed the car until she could turn facing back down the road. We climbed out and I looked up. A ridge ran to the west of the fence and I figured if we climbed that we could get a view of the compound and I could take some photos of the place with my iphone. We weren’t really dressed for hiking in the wilderness or climbing but we were determined to get as much information as we could. To me it felt eerily still and every noise seemed to be amplified as we made our way up the hill. It was a decent climb and we were breathing heavily when we suddenly popped up on to the top. Dropping on to our bellies we looked down onto the fenced off area. I was surprised to see it was really only a fence that stretched in a square about 20 metres by 20 metres. In the middle was a low concrete building grey and forbidding with a rounded metal roof that sprouted air conditioning vents like mushrooms. A heavy steel door was set into one wall. The building looked old but both the fence and the steel door were shiny and brand new.

Sitting beside the building were three cars, two were black and new, one of them was the one we had just followed, from where we were we could hear the ‘tink, tink, tink’ of the hot motor as it cooled off. To the side and closest to the door was an old car its faded roof seemed to have more rust than paint on it and I knew the front passenger seat was saggy because I’d sat in it just the other day.

All of a sudden the steel door opened outward. It didn’t make a sound as it swung on its heavy well oiled and brand new hinges. A man I’d never seen before stepped out, he was a white guy, heavy set with a middle age paunch. He sported a beard and moustache and was wearing an expensive suit. Behind him following closely was a nuggety figure shading his eyes from the bright sunshine. They were talking quietly and neither Mom nor I could hear what they were saying as we watched them. I took some photographs with my iphone as they spoke and I looked over at Mom. There was pain etched in her face, exactly the same as my own father had caused when he had left us all those years ago and my heart went out to her.

“Mom we gotta go, our car is parked on the side of the road, Dave will recognize it when he drives past.” I whispered.

I was scared out of my wits, all I wanted to do was get out of there and I figured Mom was feeling exactly the same. We backed off on our stomachs as quietly as we could then when we thought we couldn’t be seen we turned and ran. We rushed down the slope, round trees and over ditches, bashing shins and praying we wouldn’t twist an ankle hoping that Dave and the strange man would talk for a little longer, give us time to reach the Toyota and get away. The forest seemed to taunt us as we ran forever and I almost sobbed with joy as we reached the bottom and spotted our little car sitting patiently there for us. We sprinted for it throwing any caution or need to be quiet to the wind.

Stumbling in Mom started the old girl up and I breathed a sigh of relief. Dave was nowhere in sight. Mom mashed the accelerator and we took off. She drove as quickly as she could on the gravel then accelerated sharply once we reached the safety of the tarmac.

She kept looking in her rear vision mirror but there was no sign of any pursuit. Tears were in her eyes as she drove and I could only imagine what was going through her mind.

It was a quiet trip home each of us lost in our thoughts. We were on our own again just our family and Jacinta.

Jacinta! The thought came to me, she was at Dave’s supposedly hiding out.

“Mom” I said “Jacinta”

“I know honey” she said quietly.

CHAPTER 14 – Bubble Toes

We got home and Mom pulled into the driveway shutting down the motor. She sat back in her seat and rubbed her eyes wearily.

“What are we going to do?” I asked tears in my eyes this time, events seemed to be spiralling out of control.

“Let’s go in and talk with your brothers. The first thing we have to do is go get Jacinta then we have to go to the police. We have photographs this time surely they will listen to us.”

Jeff and Tim were sitting at the table when we walked through the door both were bare chested, wearing a wetsuit but with it open dangling at their waist. They’d just polished off a big plate of bacon and eggs and looked set to go off surfing.

We sat down and they both noticed the worried look on Mom’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

Mom filled them in on what had just happened while the boys sat quietly listening. The problem of Jacinta dawned on them quickly and they made plans to head over to Dave’s to get her. We figured Dave would be headed to his shop, rather than home, to open up for Saturday morning trade and Jacinta would be alone at his place. That is if he hadn’t already taken her back to their facility by now and that’s why he had been there in the first place.

“You know it all kind of adds up” I mused “it kind of explains a few things like why those gangsters were in his shop asking about Jacinta. I thought they were asking around but really they knew Dave, were probably pushing him to use his contacts to find her. Then she just fell into his lap with us. Then when we were talking he didn’t want us to go to the police remember, he said he’d deal with it and we even let her go with him to his home with the money. We trusted him. The only thing I can’t figure out is why? Why would he get involved with scum like that?”

“There could be lots of reasons” Mom said reaching over and placing her hand over mine. I noticed my green nail polish was chipped and messy. I wanted to take it off and re-do it. Funny how the little things can get to you in times of stress.

“Go and get Jacinta” Mom said to the boys “Leave a note for Dave, tell him she’s gone surfing with you, that you don’t know when she’ll be back and not to worry about her. That will buy us some time.”

Turning to me “Jade when they get back I want you all to go surfing, take Jacinta, get her into the water maybe, in a crowded spot where there are lots of people, surfers too. We need witnesses that see you all, can testify that you were all together. While you do that I’ll go to the police and show them the photos you took. Can you download them to your laptop and print them off for me please?”

“I can go one better than that Mom” I smiled. Pushing some buttons on my phone the printer in my room began to buzz. “Bluetooth Mom, they’re printing now, welcome to the 21st Century”

She smiled and kissed me on my forehead.

“Where would I be without my girl?” she laughed

“Probably stuck somewhere in 1999” I smiled back I liked being her girl.

The wait for the boys however was interminable.

I helped Mom clean up the house while we waited for them. I cleaned up dishes and helped with laundry. I noticed that I had more of the mannerisms of a girl now, quite often I’d push my hair back behind my ear or adjust my bra strap across my shoulder. When I walked around the house I walked like a girl, my hips swayed more and my breasts moved inside my bra always making their presence felt. I didn’t have to try to be like a girl I just was one, it was becoming as natural as it was when I was a boy. I didn’t think about wearing a skirt or a dress it just seemed to be part of my normal everyday life now.

Unpacking my stuff from the sleepover I threw some of my clothes into the laundry and felt something heavy in the bottom of the bag. Reaching in I pulled out a box about 10 inches long wrapped with a pink ribbon. Undoing it I pulled some wrapping paper off and held a vibrator in my hand. I was stunned, a little note was attached that simply read ‘Have fun’

No signature or anything

‘Jaz’ I thought ‘the little minx’

Carefully placing it into the drawer that held my panties I sat on my bed and thought about myself and my new sexuality. I had ‘explored’ myself sure, checked out my new girl parts and felt inside my vagina with my finger experiencing the pleasurable feelings all women have. I had touched and played with my clitoris bringing myself to an orgasm in the shower one evening which had led to me losing my balance, falling over on my backside and nearly breaking everything. I had giggled too loudly as it happened and Mom had knocked on the door asking if everything was okay. It was hard to think up an excuse but I had managed to squeak out “I’m alright” as I sank down in the shower under the warm water in a fit of hysterics. Mom had walked off probably shaking her head and muttering something about young girls.

I had stared in wonder at my arousal one night and how the lips of my vulva had spread open like the petals of a flower as I rubbed my finger across them and become oh so wet. That full length mirror had sure come in handy. But I’d obviously never been penetrated before and I wondered what that would feel like and I determined to find out that night in bed with my little ‘gift’.

My sexual awakening as a female was only really beginning and I found myself more and more curious about who I was now not just as Jade the girl but as Jade the woman.

The jury was still out but every day was bringing new revelation and insights into this feminine world, helped along by my friends and family. I fantasised about making love not with another girl but with a boy and what it would be like. It’s not that I was in a rush to actually experience it I think in many ways it scared the hell out of me but I knew in due course it would happen. Like most girls – I know I saw myself as one now - I believed in the notion of romance and love and forever but I had fought some hard battles so far both with myself and with the world. I had seen and experienced first-hand how cruel people could be to each other and as I began to cross the threshold into being a woman I wasn’t stupid enough to think that everyone I met had my best interests at heart. I knew I had been remarkably blessed with an amazing family and the start of friendships with a bunch of girls that I hoped would last a lifetime. These were gifts I wasn’t about to take for granted and I knew I’d do anything for my brothers and my mother.

My reverie was interrupted by the faint sound of two stroke motorbikes in the distance. I leapt off my bed and rushed outside to see if Jacinta was with the boys. Long dark hair blowing in the wind was the first thing I saw and the graceful long slim arms of a Mexican beauty holding on to Jeff’s waist. At least she was safe.

I rushed over to her and hugged her neck. She returned it then stood back and looked at me.

“How’s my ferocious Jade?” she asked in her sexy accent

“Much better now you’re here, you wouldn’t believe how worried I was about you”

“Ah dear Jade with your love and your wildness I missed seeing your beautiful face, if not for you I’d probably be dead now or back living as a prostitute in some other part of this country. Tonight you and I are going to cook dinner for everyone; I’m going to teach you how to make my mother’s secret recipe Enchiladas, but you must promise never to tell anyone else especially your brothers, that way they will always come back to you begging you to cook for them”

We laughed gaily together and walked inside hand in hand while Tim and Jeff just looked at each other and grinned. The way to a man’s heart truly was through his stomach.
Mom was inside and we talked more about what we were going to do. We had no idea how Dave would react to Jacinta’s return to our home. We needed to keep her safe but we couldn’t just up and leave for another part of the country, we had made a life here. The boys had also left the money at Dave’s place, strangely it was still there which was baffling as we had assumed that was the reason Dave had gone to the gang’s compound, to return it.

Going surfing this afternoon was the easy part, we got the reason for taking Jacinta along and introducing her to the surfing community. Like all communities of surfers around the world it was tight and close. We had been accepted into it immediately and as our mother, my Mom had become their Mom. She fed them, gave them shelter when they needed it, a shoulder to cry on or a word of encouragement at just the right time. Often over the past couple of years we had surfers of all shapes and sizes stay and enjoyed some pretty off the hook parties. If Jacinta was part of us then she would be a part of them also. I guessed rightly that she would be seen as Jeff’s girlfriend and that meant instant acceptance for her although I figured there’d be a few broken hearts amongst the girls too.

I pulled out my wetsuit and threw on a bikini. It was still a little weird putting one on instead of a pair of boardies but looking at myself in it made me smile.

“You sexy beast” I said pouting to myself in the mirror.

We headed off to the beach and especially to the pier where most of the surfers would be today. It was a classic wooden design with barnacle encrusted posts that ran right out to sea with a restaurant called ‘The Tin Fish’ at the end of it. Thousands of people walked it every day or would go there to fish, enjoy the views or have a meal. It was one of my favourite places on the beach and I had spent many an afternoon fishing for mackerel with my brothers when we weren’t in the water surfing. Sometimes you could catch a mackerel a minute, we only had one fishing rod between us so we’d take turns reeling them in and we would laugh and jump for joy when we caught one.

Seals and dolphins could often be seen playing in the water around the pier and one of my most treasured memories was an afternoon when a dolphin came right up to my board and blew water all over me. I had been alone at the time so had dropped off my board and just floated as she swam around me. I had reached out to touch her but she remained just out of my reach, then she would swim in and turn just in the nick of time as I laughed and splashed. Her grey and white sides were without blemish so she was young and she seemed intent on just playing with me. I knew she used sonar and could literally see through me. Some scientists even speculated that dolphins could read our emotions. If this one could read mine she would have known my excitement and joy. For months afterwards I had told anyone who would listen that I wanted to be a marine biologist studying dolphins and had researched all about them on the net.

The surf was pumping today and at least 20 to 30 surfers were already out there. We introduced Jacinta to everyone as we stood on the beach getting ready. A number had heard what had happened to me and came up to see if I was okay. Most were just curious or concerned while a couple poked me in the arm to see if I was real. That is until they saw the looks on Jeff and Tim’s faces and backed off. I even had a couple of guys ask me out on dates but of course that is until they saw Jeff and Tim’s faces and backed off.

“Hey” I said to them “they were cute”

“Not on our watch” Jeff had said and Tim just nodded. No one messed with their sister without their permission. I felt kind off half pissed off with them and half all warm and fuzzy at how protective they were.

The girls that we knew were mostly welcoming to both Jacinta and I although some of the more skanky ones just looked down their noses at us.

Jacinta had much more experience with bitchy girls than I did and simply turned her back on them then smiled at the others and started talking about how she liked one girl’s hair and how another girl did her eye makeup and would she teach her. She was an instant hit and I thought to myself, ‘hey I’ve got a built in big sister now. She could teach me a lot about getting on with other females’

I was included in the conversation too and before I knew it I was having my hair discussed while other girls were either pondering what the best makeup look and colors suited me or trying to set me up on a date with their brothers.
As much as I enjoyed the conversation, and believe me I did I mean what girl doesn’t like to be the center of attention now and again, the lure of the waves became too much. Picking up my board I excused myself and ran for the water. The waves had been built by a storm out to sea over the past week then the wind had turned offshore making the waves peak and turn into barrels.

I duck dived under and paddled as hard as I could to get out of the break zone then sat up on my board squinting out to sea. My long hair hung behind me wet and glistening in the sunlight and I felt at peace.

I managed to catch a couple of good waves dropping off the lip and into the pocket then speeding out of the barrel while I trailed my hand along the wall. I tried to kick up off the trailing edge of my board and launch myself into the air then come down still on balance just as the wave would overtake me. I had seen my surfing heroes like the Brazilian Gabriel Medina, Australian Taj Burrow and especially the world number one Kelly Slater, who was my all-time favorite, do this and like every young surfer I wanted to emulate what they did. I was in awe of what they could do on a board.

As a girl I noticed my leg strength wasn’t the same but my natural anticipation was still there and I could read the wave in the same way as always. What I didn’t notice was how much more fluid and graceful I was. Although Dave had told me about it I was able to move more elegantly through the water on my board. My center of balance was different being a girl but this actually lent itself to my style of surfing and I was really enjoying myself.

I glanced back to shore and happily saw Jacinta sitting in the middle of a bunch of girls all animatedly talking and laughing together. The crowd protected her and she seemed to be enjoying the company.

I paddled over to Jeff and Tim who were sitting together. We made a triangle in the water and they looked at me as salt water glinted on their faces and drops sat at the end of each strand of hair held their magically by surface tension.

“I’ve been watching you” Tim said “you don’t even know how really good you are do you? Those drops and jumps are awesome Jade.”
“Yeah Jay, honestly I gotta say you rock that board, I’m really jealous. I think now as a girl you’re even better than you were as a guy. The way you move on the board and can just change direction at will is awesome. I’ve never seen another girl do that except for maybe some of the pros like Laura Enever or the Hawaiian Malia Manuel” added Jeff.

“Really you think so?” I asked this was something my brothers hardly ever did and they never gave praise unless you earned it.

“Yeah we really do” Tim said “actually I can’t wait to see you compete”

“Aw thanks guys, but you know what, I reckon the best thing is just being out here doing this with my brothers, especially when I catch more waves than you cause you’re so fat”

They roared with mock laughter and Jeff launched himself off his board dunking me into the water.

When we came up Tim looked pensive.

“Hey look” he said nodding toward the shore.

On the road next to his car, hands in his pockets, stood Dave. He was looking right at us.

We continued to surf not ready to hit the beach just yet but we all kept an eye on Dave who continued to wait.

As I caught one wave and dropped into the pocket, the middle of the wave where you actually do the surfing bit, I noticed a head in the water holding a camera.

Who the hell would be filming me I wondered as I spun off the back and sat down on the board.

The cameraman swam over, I could tell it was a guy by the way he moved in the water, then he popped up beside me.

“Hey Jade, shit you’re good”

I looked at him, recognition slowly dawning and instantly I felt self-conscious.

“Hey Phil, fancy seeing you here?”

‘Shit’ I thought ‘what a lame thing to say’

“Yeah well it’s kind of my hobby, filming in the water. I have a few favourite surfers I love to take pics of. Actually I now have a new super most favourite of all surfer I like filming, easily the best on the beach”

I must be thick “Oh really, yeah cool, who is it?”

He tilted his head to one side and looked at me with those eyes. Slowly he held his camera up to his face, protected by its waterproof casing and clicked.

I felt stupid as I realized who he was talking about.

“Oh me then” I babbled “I like your photos, they always look awesome in the school newspaper you’re really talented”

‘Honestly Jade pull it together, how can this boy turn your brain to mush so easily come on girl’ I felt like slapping myself.

“Thanks, it must be the mutual admiration society meeting right here. Look I’m gonna be straight up with you, I know you’ve been through a lot of shit but ever since I met you the other day I can’t get you out of my head”

‘Neither could I’

“I’d really, really like to get to know you better, you know if you’d like to that is” he stammered a pleading look in his eye.

We looked at each other “You look pretty pathetic begging like that, but my god you’re cute when you do” I answered.

He splashed in the water and floated on his back smiling.

“That’s a yes then?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s a yes then”

“Sooooo can I come over tomorrow maybe, we could go for a walk, chat, maybe get coffee or a shake or well anything you want actually”

“I’d like that”

“Say about one o’clock?”

“Sweet az” I said

“Umm mind if I hang around do a bit more photography get some more pics?” he asked

“Sure, get my good side” I joked

“Every single one of your sides is good, my god every side is perfect” he didn’t seem to be joking.

Despite being in the water I felt hot, flushed. Was this love or just lust? I wasn’t sure but it felt good.

I didn’t surf that well for the next little while but Phil clicked away regardless. He was now my favourite photographer.

Dave was still waiting as we exited the water.

I guessed it was time for a serious talk.

He approached all four of us, Jacinta included, as we dried off.

I decided it was time for some very hard questions to be asked. It was probably dumb but I felt brave with my brothers next to me.

“Ahh yeah gidday guys” he nodded his head and I wondered if he was turning Australian.

Jeff and Tim did the old eyebrow flick, neither friendly nor unfriendly. I simply remembered how Dave had likened me to his daughter.

It was now or never time for the truth.